I appreciate it vs. thank you

I had a bit of an ah-ha moment today in the car as Liz and I were discussing many topics during a 4-hour drive from Madison to River Falls.  We were brainstorming ways to help our kids understand how to be grateful and it brought us through several past encounters throughout our lives.

I reached the conclusion that being appreciative and grateful aren't the same.  Saying, "I appreciate you" and "thank you" are different and come from different places.

Gratitude comes from humility.  Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less. In other words, thinking of others.  Saying thank you is directed towards another person and is about them.

In most cases, "I appreciate it" is not about another person.  It's actually about the person who "appreciates."  It's like staking a claim or sharing an opinion.  In some cases, entitled individuals choose the words, "I appreciate..." because it's self-focused.  It takes humility to say "thank you" and to refrain from telling the other what you think or feel.  "I appreciate..." is sharing your own thoughts.  "Thank you" is directed to another.  One is about yourself and the other is about others.  Just like entitlement vs. gratitude.

Now, before you get all bent out of shape.  Telling someone you appreciate them is wonderful and can filled with gratitude.  However, choosing those words instead of thank you can say a lot about us.  Thank you requires a little more vulnerability.  Hence, it comes from humility.  Humility cannot be faked and, as a result, neither can gratitude.  Appreciation has the potential to be disingenuous.

One of the many great things about an attitude of gratitude is that it makes everyone better.  It makes the person who is gracious feel more complete and whole.  It gives him or her an extra bounce in their step.

Here's my challenge: do you consider the difference when you say "I appreciate you" or "I appreciate it" compared to "thank you?"  Why is it more difficult to say thank you?  Our word selections make a world of a difference.  "In all things, give thanks" - 1 Thessalonians 5:18.  Will you choose gratitude and use those two little words?