Sometimes we need to watch and not push

I'm still a new parent and I'm learning fun and exciting things everyday. The simple thoughts, naivety and curiosity of my children interests me more than anything because it teaches me so much about myself. It also gives me insight into the lives of my athletes, and oddly enough, their parents.

Yesterday we went to our friend's house for dinner. They have a son that is about the same age as our oldest. He is light years beyond Isaiah physically, though. He walked early, runs, jumps and does somersaults while Isaiah struggles to climb the stairs without assistance. It's very interesting watching his mind as he tries to keep up to this boy. Understandably, Isaiah comes home from their house with many bumps and bruises and cuts and scrapes because he pushes himself. I think it's always a great experience for him. Here's the key point, though: as the parent, I have to remain a spectator and not "push" him to keep up or even come close to comparing him.

There was a moment that I'm sure I'll remember for the rest of my life. We were in the front yard talking about landscaping with our friends and all of the kids were doing their own thing. I watched Isaiah out of the corner of my eye walk over to the front stairs and jump off. To understand how great this was, allow me to set the scene a little more clearer so you can see why this was special and then I'll get to my point.

Isaiah has low muscle tone and has been behind physically since he was born. We've seen many doctors, have heard many opinions and have concluded that he'll likely be "behind" (whatever that is) for a very long time. Conversely, he's extremely smart and articulate - probably way ahead for his age - and he communicates his thoughts and feelings often. With this combination, he's not much of a risk taker. He afraid to jump and climb stairs simply because of how difficult it is for him, but also because of the lack of security. Our hearts ache for him at times, but we're optimistic.

Going back to what happened in the front yard; I saw a determined Isaiah walk up two steps to the top of the landing. He looked around momentarily, as if he was measuring the distance to the ground and mustering up the courage to jump. He sheepishly inched his toes to the edge and took the leap. He fell first on his knees then flat on his face! I was watching, but he didn't know. He got up, literally shook off the dirt and started walking towards us as if nothing had happened. Everything inside of me wanted to jump up and down and acknowledge that he jumped for the first time. I also wanted to rush to his aid to see if he was alright after his fall (it was more of a fall than a jump). However, if I would have done either, I fear the whole point would have been missed. He likely would have cried and been even more scared to do it in the future.

I saw a little boy who, for the first time, took a risk. He pushed himself and didn't need Mommy or Daddy there to help him do it or to be there for him when he failed. Sometimes, parents need to push, but sometimes we need to let them do it alone. I think it was a crucial time in his life and if I would have been there for him, it could have enabled him. I'm proud of myself for letting him go at it by himself and I'm very proud of him for trying.

As a wrestling coach, I see many parents pushing their children when they're not ready to push themselves. If we never allow for opportunities like this to develop, they may never be ready to push themselves.