The Thing About a Crossing

I'm in the Kohl Center during a break of the state wrestling tournament. We're half way through the event on the schedule - in the middle - and I'm reading through a few hand written notes. I took them during a book I just finished, A Million Miles In A Thousand Days by Donald Miller. It's a MUST read. I promise.

In chapter 28, The Thing About a Crossing, Miller writes, "The reward you get from a story is always less than you thought it would be, and the work is harder than you imagined. The point of a story is never about the ending, remember. It's about your character getting molded in the hard work of the middle."

This quote became even more relevant to me after I talked to an athlete who had his sights set on becoming a state champion this weekend, but lost first round. It was a heartbreaking loss because it was very close and he was the top ranked wrestler in the state. He would give anything to have that moment back, but it will never come back. That dream will never be realized. He's a senior and he's still wrestling on the consolation side of the bracket. What do you tell a teenager who, only moments ago, had his heart broken in front of thousands of people and now must go back out in front of the same people and wrestle for something, that frankly, he doesn't want? This is a bit of a crossroads, wouldn't you say?

I granted him the permission to be upset because this isn't what he wanted. This isn't what he came here for. That doesn't mean the weekend is over, though. He still has something to fight for and it doesn't have anything to do with what place he earns. He must still give it his all. He has to go down swinging. He has to do all of this because his character depends on it. Who he is to become is directly dependent on how he handles this adverse situation. Growing and developing into a man requires that he now, more than ever, fights back. With a setback like this, everything is on the line.

The quote is very straightforward; we don't like the middle of the story because of the character development. We want to know how it ends. We don't like being in the middle because we don't know how it ends and it's hard. Really hard, but that's were the growth happens. The awkward, unpleasant middle is about hard work and perseverance and that's the stuff that makes the man. I'm not saying winning isn't important and I'm not saying that those that win won't become men. I'm saying that it's harder on your soul to come back and finish third. It's easy to stay positive when everything is going well. It's easy to prepare when you're winning.

True character is formed and molded in the middle and during the consolation rounds. Character development is worth fighting for.