Badgering referees

Last weekend I went to a high school wrestling tournament, and wow, some wrestling coaches are jerks! I'm sure this is the case in every sport, but put it this way: there were are a few who definitely made the rest look better. I have no problem calling out colleagues in this manner. I was particularly appalled by how poorly a few decided to treat the referees.

Maybe I've become more aware of this because my dad puts blood, sweat and, yes, even tears into wearing the stripes. He often tells me about coaches who are out of line and belligerent. I see it from the stands as a spectator and from the corner as a coach, but it doesn't affect me directly. It does affect him. That's not why I'm sharing this topic. If an adult can treat another human being in public like what I saw, how are they treating people when no one is looking? How do they treat their athletes? This worries me for many reasons.

One coach, who was out of line the entire day, acted completely childish as he was inappropriately badgering a referee about the way he called stalling. He was out of his chair and in the wrestling area. The referee patiently and respectfully asked him to back up. The coach put his feet together like a 4 year old and took two minuscule steps back, pouted and asked the referee if it was far enough. Seriously, that actually happened. In real life. A grown man acted like an infant in front of hundreds of others in an attempt to prove a point. The point he made was that he's an arrogant prick. Throughout the day, this particular individual instructed the referees more than his athletes. It all sounds very dramatic, doesn't it? Sadly, the truth is that it's just par for the course at high school tournaments.

Actions and behaviors like what I saw last weekend make it obvious to me why we have a referee shortage. Why would someone want to spend their Saturday getting raked over the coals for $75? Of course, they're their for the kids and want to give back to the sport, but an individual can only handle so much unnecessary ridicule. The irony is that many of these self-entitled coaches who believe they're exempt from the rules tell their athletes to give back to the sport. Why? So he can yell at them, too?

A quick solution that is easy in theory and difficult in practice is, as a wrestling community, we need to empower referees to hold coaches demonstrating this type of behavior accountable. Follow the rule book. When a coach questions the judgement of a referee it's a "warning." In almost every tight high school wrestling match, at least one coach challenges the referee about the way he chooses to call stalling. The moment the coach walks towards the table to complain - during or after the match - give him an official warning. The second time, get rid of him. It's time to bring down the long arm of the law on these jack wagons. Sounds simple. The catch is that these coaches rank the referees, so they hold the power. A coach can critique and hammer the referee (some coaches inappropriately call this holding referees accountable), but the referee is powerless to hold the coach accountable. On playgrounds, they call these coaches "bullies."

This is a serious issue in our sport. It's time to draw attention to combating this problem. Coaches, call out other coaches when they're inappropriate (one coach did this last weekend and fans cheered). Referees, hold these coaches accountable. Parents, expect better behavior from the men coaching your children. They're role models and more is caught than is taught. Attitude reflects leadership, so look at the attitude and conduct of the leader in your program. Speak out.