The Art of Choosing

The ability to make choices is one of the most powerful qualities of a human being. We like the idea of choice because it empowers us. The choices we make, big and small, are critical to who we become. We’re in a position to make choices; however, it’s the choices that inevitably make us.

Making choices well and being able to make the correct choices is a skill that must be learned. Parents teach their children – directly and indirectly – how to make choices. Teachers, coaches, community members, spiritual leaders, television and many other factors contribute to the development of making choices.

In the United States, we love our choices. We have 500 channels on our television and over 10-pages in our menu booklet at Perkins. If you’re looking for a car, you can have the same one in five different colors. We have so many choices, in fact, that we have difficulty making them. If we don’t know how to make choices, our decision making process is foggy, at best. We have a greater responsibility in our country to teach individuals how to make choices because we value independence more than any other country in the world.

Of course, we make trivial choices, like the choosing between Coke and Pepsi, every day. We also make small choices that have the potential to turn into monumental decisions that can change the course of our lives and impact the world as we know it. And, obviously, there are big time decisions that are set before us and our choice carries a tremendous amount of weight and pressure.

Sheena Iyengar has been involved in a fantastic research project that explains more clearly how we make choices. She has written a book entitled The Art of Choosing and is featured on YouTube and TED Talks sharing her groundbreaking insights. I suggest you take time to hear what she has to say. What I found most interesting from a scientific viewpoint is that our brains cannot handle more than seven choices at the same time. Often times, even that’s too much for me.

Iyengar encourages individuals to determine what they want or need before they present themselves with a choice. I can relate to this: every time I went to the movie store undecided, it took me a very long time to actually choose a title. First, I had to narrow down a genre, then a style, then an actor or actress, then consider my mood and so-on. When I knew what I wanted, it was easy to walk into the store and choose the title. This makes sense when we pick out a movie, but how about when we choose a lifestyle or belief system or philosophy. Are we considering what we want or need before we present ourselves with choices? No. We actually don’t. Instead, we allow those choices to push us around and sway our decisions without considering ourselves first.

Here’s Iyengar secret: sit down and determine the five things you cannot live without. Having clarity about what is most important and what you prioritize will help you make the correct choices.