The voice you believe will determine the future you experience

I'm a music fan and enjoy watching the biggest stars perform on stage.  I've been to a lot of concerts in my life.  Most of them were great and had me listening to the same music on repeat in the days that followed.  So, when it was announced that Miley Cyrus, one of the most relevant performers today, was coming to town, I rushed to purchase tickets.  Additionally, creating an opportunity for Liz and I to spend quality time together is high on our priority list.

Before you ask the obvious question, I'll answer it.  Why?  Why go to a Miley Cyrus concert and support her antics?  Aside from trying to indulge in an evening of good music, which was less than 1% of the reason why I chose Miley, I wanted to see what the hype was all about and what this generation of teenagers really sees up close.  I had remained open minded after her VMA performance and optimistic that she had a few things about the music industry figured out.  I wanted to give her a chance as an artist because she's clearly a very talented vocalist.   I also don't want to be a naive parent when my kids are teenagers and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be aware and informed on the pressures they'll face.  The Christian term is being "in the world, but not of the world" and I learned a lot.  Paying over $60 each to witness it first hand might not have been required, however, it shed a lot of light on this culture.  I was shocked how many young girls were in attendance.  Are those parents naive or just stupid?  The world/pop culture is stacked against respect, purity and wholesome entertainment and fun.  But I knew that.  I didn't need to go to a teenie bopper concert to be reminded of this.  I just didn't know how extreme it actually is, though.  I knew all of this intellectually, or in black and white.  Going to the concert put everything into vibrant technicolor.

There was vulgarity and weirdness, tasteless and inappropriate behaviors with even a few commendable musical selections.  She sang covers of Bob Dylan, Lana Del Ray and Outkast, which were incredible.  She does have an amazing voice.  She sang a version of "Jolene" that was amazing...until she adjusted the lyrics and called Jolene a "stupid f***ing b***."  I knew the dancing stuffed animals, twerking and drug references were going to be frequent.  I didn't expect her to use the F-word over 100 times, though.  There was a giant inflatable wolf that was entirely out of place (unlike the inflatable woman for "A Whole Lotta Rosie" by AC/DC).  It was just overall tacky.  I just didn't expect Miley Cyrus, a female, to be so degrading and disrespectful towards women.

Here's the scary part: this is normal!  Maybe not for you or me, but it's normal in high schools and, dare I say, middle schools.  Inappropriate vulgarity with very little self-respect, respect for others and respect for women is common place right now.  To think otherwise is not seeing the truth.  Again, this isn't an earth shattering report.  However, it's first time I've felt that general sentiment from a female performer performing in front of an audience full of females.  Sure, Miley Cyrus has leveraged her talents to make millions of dollars and, at the surface, that's commendable.  But she doesn't respect women.  Young girls craving to become women are her audience and they worship her.  They're the next generation of female business leaders, teachers and mothers and their role model doesn't respect them.  That's a problem.  I can't put my thumb on exactly where the disrespect lies, other than objectifying women.  Her message is to do whatever you want to do, regardless of what others think, and somehow that gives you power.  Guys have been disrespecting women on stage for hundreds of years and now we have girls doing it without remorse.  I saw 20,000 girls drink it in and love it.

Recently, I've talked to some parents of teenagers who have struggled to understand their son or daughter's atrocious behavior.  There's been enough instances that I think most parents are in the dark with what teenagers are exposed to.  They have instant access to unlimited information, and it's nearly impossible to filter it in order protect their innocent minds and hearts.  Parents might be naive, but their children certainly are not.  We sat behind two teenage girls.  I guessed them to be 13 or 14 years old.  They were dressed modestly, which wasn't the norm.  It looked like Mom and Dad took an interest in how they looked when they walked out the door, which indicated that they might respect Mom and Dad's opinion.  There was a plethora of disgusting clothing choices, but these girls looked wholesome and sweet in an ocean of girls who looked much less innocent.  During the entire show, these little sweethearts stood still.  Motionless.  Arms crossed with frightful eyes.   The picture was a masterpiece that captured everything that is wrong with the scene.  Those two little girls had lost their innocence.  What's next for them?  What is their perception of reality?  How do they view women and what does respect mean to them?  How do they now see themselves?  As a result, will they make bad decisions that will leave them victimized?  Will they tell their parents how the evening made them feel?  Are they listening to lies that spewed out of Miley Cyrus's mouth?  How many more lies will they hear and listen to?  Every time you believe a lie [about who you are], something inside dies.

Miley is heralded as being innovative, creative, independent and sexy - all traits that little girls are longing for.  She's not any of those things.  Deception does its best work in areas of vulnerability.  An entire generation of girls are being deceived by the loudest female voice of this decade.  They "think" this is what it means to be woman.

I don't regret going to this concert at all.  I'm actually glad I went.  I also don't feel like I compromised any of my values or standards (because I was with Liz).  I feel like it was a fortunate slap in my face to wake up to what pop culture is and what messages our children are receiving.  How do we get an entire generation of girls to believe they're accepted, cherished, loved and valuable?  How do we get them to listen to right voices?

"The voice you believe will determine the future you experience." - Steven Furtick

What a journey this has been: women's wrestling in the US

Seeing Terry Steiner on the podium holding that large 3^rd place team trophy was a special moment.  No one was satisfied with a bronze finish at the World Championships in Budapest; we left a couple of medals there, that’s for sure.  However, it is rewarding for everyone involved in this program to see the fruits of our labor.  Alyssa Lampe, Elena Pirzkhova and Adeline Gray all won bronze medals, Victoria Anthony nearly missed being in the finals finishing 5^th, Helen Maroulis was 7^th and Alli Ragan and Veronica Carlson were also in the hunt for a medal.

Terry was my coach at Wisconsin when he received phone calls from Mitch Hull and Rich Bender asking him to take a new position at USA Wrestling in 2001.  It was announced that the International Olympic Committee would add women’s freestyle wrestling to the program.  USAW needed a coach and Terry was the only choice.  When he accepted the position and told our team, I remember all of us were very confused about why he would leave a Big Ten team who had just finished in the top 10 in the NCAA in back-to-back years to coach girls.  Many of us had a negative attitude towards women’s wrestling for a variety of reasons, but he told us that he asked himself why he coaches and he concluded that his purpose to help transform lives through wrestling wasn’t gender specific.  That was a defining moment in my life.  I became intrigued by what was Terry was doing.  In 2003, the World Championships were held in New York and I had to opportunity to attend (as a spectator).

I saw a US team of women competing with one common goal – to win a team title.  Terry had inherited a team of athletes and coaches and things started to resemble a “team.”  They finished second in front of a home crowd and many people, for the first time, believed in women’s wrestling.  I was one of them.  I approached Terry after the tournament and told him I was all in.  He was a significant person in my life when he was at Wisconsin and I was inspired what he was doing.  I told him I’d do whatever I could to help him achieve his goals.  As a fresh college graduate, I didn’t know that he would believe in me almost as much as I believed in him.  He took my up on my offer immediately by sending me to China with a group of 14 and 15 year old girls.

I started going on tours with the girls and coaching at a variety of developmental and national team camps.  USA Wrestling added assistant coach Vladimir Izboinikov and he perfectly complimented Terry and his vision.  Coach Izzy was able to organize a comprehensive development plan that included identifying talent and developing them as a team in anticipation of building a program that would win that elusive team world title.  He put in place a group of volunteer coaches that each had his/her own unique style and it all meshed together perfectly.  This was the first year every member of the US World Team was a part of that development model.  All seven girls have an abundance of age-level international experience.  Each one of them has won a medal at the junior and/or university world championships.  With all of them between the ages of 21 and 25, this was our youngest team ever, but it was also the most experienced.  This is exactly what the plan was designed to do.

Terry standing on the podium represented much more than a bronze medal.  It represented the fruit of a 10-year plan.  It represented patience, persistence and consistency.  It’s also a lightning bolt of confidence to this program and for the girls.  The principle of the harvest is simple: you reap what you sow.  We planted the seed, watered and cultivated it and are ready for the harvest.  In agriculture, it’s easy to trust this principle, but with the human element of emotions and individual choice, it’s much more difficult to do so.  We’re getting close, though.  It was as if Terry standing on the podium was a proverbial ear of corn on a stalk assuring us that we are, indeed, going to have that bumper crop we anticipated when we planted those seeds years ago.  Now it comes down to timing and remaining patient as we actively wait for the crop to become ripe.  That ripening is the only piece of the puzzle left and it happens as these athletes begin to believe in themselves.  They need to see themselves as the best team in the world before it happens.

You cannot script it much better, can you?  Next year, the World Championships are in Tashkent, Uzbekistan.  We have a year to watch this crop of athletes develop and mature.  In 2015, the World Championships will be on our turf, in Las Vegas.  In 2003, the American wrestling community ordained Terry in his role and he’ll be able to show them over 10 years later what happens when you develop a plan and follow it; the principle of the harvest.  Going into the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio, Team USA will be, without question, the best women’s wrestling country on the planet.

One more day to go

We’re in the arena and ready to begin our final day of competition.  We won one medal last night (Elena – bronze) and find ourselves in the top 3 as a team.  Japan has already secured another team title.  A solid finish today can leave us satisfied, however, as a program our expectations are high and we’ll be a little unsettled no matter what.

Sports teach us a lot about life and reveal a lot about ourselves.  Judging athletes on their performances alone often dehumanizes the effort and process that takes place to get to where they are.   Many things take place behind the scenes and these athletes cannot afford to take anything for granted.  Everyone dreams of enjoying a well-deserved and earned medal, however, few are willing to endure the adversity required to get to this place.  As always, there were plenty of bumps in the road for each athlete and watching them handle setbacks and learn from each experience is the most valuable piece of my involvement on the team.  Ironically, there are athletes who do everything absolutely right leading into this opportunity, yet fall short of their goals while some exceed expectations despite letting a few things slide along the way.   Either way, evaluating the outcome in relation to the process is where learning takes place.

The outcome of the event was less than desirable for Helen and Alli and they both felt the sting of defeat deep in their hearts.  There was a pile of setbacks for each of them that could have been used as an “out” several times during training camps and the tournament.  They likely would have been legitimate, too.  Neither of them did, though.  They fought to stay positive and sometimes became emotional, but they never shifted their focus and controlled what they could control.  They didn’t give themselves an out.  Both competed hard.

While debriefing with Helen, she shared her insights and what she learned from the week.  She impresses me in a brand new way each tournament no matter if it’s good or bad.  Her perspective on wrestling and life makes it easy to cheer for her and her ability to adapt, grow and learn is an inspiration to me.

Highs and Lows: Day 3 at the Worlds

Last night was one of those evenings that everyone experiences in high level competitive arenas.  The highs were high and the lows were low.  Dealing with the roller coaster of emotions is something you must learn to take in stride otherwise sports will eat you alive.

Team USA had an overall impressive performance on day 3 of the tournament finally winning some medals.  Jordan Burroughs won his third consecutive gold medal and improved his undefeated winning streak to 65 international matches.  Alyssa earned her second straight bronze medal and Vicki finished 5^th (in her first senior world championships up a weight class).  The results on paper don’t tell the entire story.

The 3^rd consecutive gold medal by Burroughs is one of the greatest feats in American wrestling history.  Knowing he did it on a broken ankle makes it legendary.  Rumors were flying over the past few weeks that he hurt his ankle during training, but no one knew how badly.  We did a short morning workout outside of the hotel and Burroughs’s fiancé hung around and watched.  She shared with us that Jordan had broken his ankle, had surgery on it and now has five screws and a plate.  She said it was a “God healing.”  Knowing this bit of information, it was plain for me to see that he adjusted his entire style throughout the day and turned out one of the guttiest performances I have ever seen.  The highs were really high.

And for the lows…Vicki finishing 5^th in the world is no small feat.  It’s a great accomplishment added to a lengthy resume.  With that said, it doesn’t feel right at the moment.  She was ahead 6-0 in the semi-finals and working towards securing a place in the championship finals, which would have guaranteed her no less than a silver medal, when one miniscule mental break turned into a catastrophe.  She was caught and pinned by her Mongolian opponent and knocked back into a 3^rd place bout and was defeated by a tough North Korean wrestler.  It was crushing and a $25,000 error (the Living the Dream medal fund awards $10,000 to US athletes who earn a bronze medal, $25,000 for silver and $50,000 for gold in non-Olympic years).  Ouch!

Today is a new day, though.  I’m sure there will be highs and lows; there always is.  It’s wrestling.  We have a great line-up competing on this, the fourth day of the event.  Helen Maroulis, Alli Ragan and Elena Pirozkova.  We’re “expecting great success” today – that’s how the Eastern Europeans say it in English.  Helen won a silver medal last year and Elena won a gold medal, so we have our strongest group on the mat.  Tomorrow we finish as a team with Veronica Carlson and Adeline Gray.

If you’ve read previous posts of mine, especially those from wrestling events, you know that Helen is near and dear to us.  She’s that once-in-a-lifetime athlete coaches talk about.  It happens to be her birthday, too.  Fittingly, she shares her special day with Isaiah, who turns 5 today.   What makes it great, though, is she knows it’s not her day.  It belongs to God.  ALL this for a KING! 

Women set to compete

It’s just after midnight on our third night in Budapest.  I just had some needed FaceTime with Liz and the boys and I’m retiring in my room with big hopes for tomorrow. 

Alyssa Lampe and Victoria Anthony compete tomorrow along with Jordan Burroughs.  There’s a realistic possibility for three gold medals.  Wouldn’t that be sweet?  Alyssa is currently ranked #1 in the world at 48 kg and Vicki is poised the shock the world at 51 kg.  Of course, Burroughs is on an undefeated international streak that has earned him a world gold medal and Olympic gold medal.  He’s the face of wrestling both in the US and globally.

My working relationship with Alyssa goes all the way back to my very first experience coaching female athletes.  She was a sophomore in high school when she ventured to River Falls for the first time.  It was the first girl’s team for both of us.   Two years later, she was the first athlete (male or female) to take advantage of opportunities offered at Victory School of Wrestling.  Immediately after graduating from high school, she occupied a spare bedroom in our house as we transformed the basement into a wrestling school.  She was there when we put the mats down.  She’s come a long ways since then and traveled hundreds of thousands of miles chasing her dream of becoming a world champion.  She won a bronze medal last year and has been on a mission this year, dominating opponents all over the world.  Tomorrow is her time.

Vicki is under the radar at 51 kg.  She won junior world titles at 44 kg and 48 kg.  She’s never weighed 51 kg before and was under weight all week while eating more than the rest of the team combined.  She’s a real wild card because the new rules play into her style perfectly.  She’s also short and extremely explosive, fast and powerful.  She has a wonderful draw on the top side of the bracket.  When she’s relaxed and having fun, she might be the best wrestler in the world at any weight class.  That’s no joke.  I love her potential as an athlete and wrestler, but I love her for who she’s become over the past few years while working alongside her.  I stumbled across Vicki when she was a junior in high school at a development camp in Chula Vista, CA.  She had all kinds of talent and separated herself from the rest with an intense focus and attention to detail.  She also challenged me to a little “dance-off.”  I recall it ended in a draw.  She joined NYAC and I became her personal coach.  She spent many nights in my basement over three years in between California, the OTC and Simon Fraser.  She even rented a house in River Falls one summer.  She’s been extraordinarily close to making the world team each of the past three years and now she’s here.  And she’s ready for this opportunity.

I’m going to bed tonight as eager as I’ve ever been as a member of Team USA.  We have a real chance to do something great as a team.  Alyssa and Vicki can set the tone for a week of success that we’ve been patiently waiting for and developing.  This team (and coaching staff) has been together at every age level and now it’s our time to shine on the international stage.  You reap what you sow.

#Budapest2013

Au revoir Paris!

Au revoir Paris!

We’re on to the next stage of our journey: Budapest.  We spent a few quality days in Paris at INSEP, France’s version of the Olympic Training Center.  It was an incredible complex with state-of-the-art facilities.  The wrestling room boasts six full-sized mats.  The wrestling area was close to 120’x80’ with a 3-tiered cement bleacher that was the length of the room.  Along one side of the room, on the second floor, was a glass wall.  Behind the windows housed the national team coaching staff.  The locker rooms were each fully equipped with a 12-man hot tub Jacuzzi and a sauna.  The same building had equally impressive accommodations for gymnastics, rhythmic gymnastics and weight lifting.  In an adjacent building, eight judo mats filled the largest judo room I’ve ever seen.  They also had a table tennis hall, indoor track, velodrome and much, much more.  They house full-time resident-athletes and have a university on location as well as a minor’s hall for teenagers.  We stayed in visiting dorms. 

The workouts were very light as we are now in a tapper mode of our final training cycle.  Attention to detail and timing is still important, however, the workout load is light and intensity remains high.  We’ll knock down the intensity now going into Budapest and the athletes will begin focusing on their mission to perform the best they can at the 2013 Senior World Championships.  #Budapest2013

With down time in our training at INSEP, we took the opportunity to go into the city for a little site seeing and power shopping.  Most of the athletes hit the main attractions – Eiffel Tour, l’Arc de Triomphe, Champs Elysee, Louvre, Notre Dame and Sacre de Coeur.  I ate at a quaint little fondue restaurant in the Latin Quarter the night before we left.  

Most of the athletes have been in Paris for a very short and concentrated duration without time for site seeing.  Leaving the City of Light (La Ville Lumière), many of them are eager to return to spend more time exploring their favorite spots.  After a few days in a city like Paris, you get to know the city and feel a connection to the culture.  There are endless exploration opportunities in one of the world's best cities.  By the time you leave, you finally understand the subway (Metro) and the layout of the city and cannot wait to go again.  I had been to Paris before, so I was able to quickly navigate our group around the city.  Moments like these I'm fortunate to have a history degree.

On the Budapest.  Go USA!