From the bleachers

I was fortunate to spend the weekend watching high school wrestling. Many things came to my attention and most of them don't get discussed on the Internet forums. So, I thought I would bring up a few here. These are purely cosmetic, however, I wasn't able to look beyond them. Feel free to discuss them on the comments below or anywhere else you might see fit.

About 10-15 years ago, a few teams rolled out "finals singlets." They were awesome. Usually white or gold, these special garments were saved for the individuals who reached the championship finals of prominent tournaments, like the state tournament. They were special and gave extra incentive to do well. Now, everyone gets to wear one. Most of the coaches have renamed them "championship singlets." It doesn't sit right at all to see two individuals square off for 11th place in championship singlets. Friends, no matter how you dice it, the 11th place bout is not the championship match. Maybe the kid fought hard and over-achieved to get there. Maybe he overcame an insurmountable amount of adversity, I'm not minimizing those efforts or heroics. Often times, the best stories happen there, but let's not pretend the consolation side, or even 3rd place for that matter, are championship finals matches. They're not.

Tattoos and cauliflower ear are pretty much the norm at high school wrestling tournaments. It was once unheard of for a high school kid to sport a tattoo. Currently, it's a wild fad. Cauliflower ears were reserved for only a few exceptional high school wrestlers and predominantly collegiate and international competitors, now below average wrestlers have them. I'm not against tattoos or cauliflower ears. I have one of each. That being said, I'm not overly impressed with the kid who spent $450 on a bad-ass tribal tattoo that covers his entire shoulder and half of his upper arm when he loses first round of a high school wrestling tournament. Worst yet, when he goes 0-2. The kid definitely isn't as tough as he thought he was when he got inked. Once I believed the dude with the barbed wire tattoo around his biceps was tough. Not any more. To be "tough" that better be real barbed wire wrapped tightly around your arm.

Every wrestling coach on the planet understands that at high school events, only two coaches are permitted to be in the corner of each wrestler. It's so obvious, in fact, that the tournament directors often have TWO chairs in opposite corners, color coordinated to make it easy on coaches and they make announcements regularly throughout the day. They don't have to think where to go or how many coaches are allowed. Just look at the chairs and sit down. Well, if you've ever been to a wrestling tournament, you would see that coaches just can't get this one right. Two in a corner in this part of the state means 2 + at least 1. If you have a stat girl, she gets a spot on the floor. Video? Yep, right next to the coach. Over-zealous parent with a camera? Sure, give the coach 4-5 feet and put them on the floor, too. Of course, the recent graduate who is unemployed and lives at home because he's no longer in college should stand with his shirt untucked directly behind the assistant coach. Oh yeah, the cute 5th grade aspiring wrestler should sit in the corner, too. There are no less than 5-6 people in the corner for most matches. You're an anomaly if you follow this clear and concise rule. I wonder why athletes feel so entitled today. You don't suppose it's because coaches might be leading by example, do you?

Some of the things that people say from the stands are quite amusing. I'm not going to throw them under the bus, though, because they're fans. They don't have to know what they're saying. They're just passionate, which is awesome. It's not awesome, however, when the coach doesn't know what he's talking about. There seems to be a few general cliche statements that have little to no meaning, but for some reason, most coaches use them. "How bad do you want it?" Is that question supposed to be answered or is it rhetorical? It serves no purpose with 30 seconds left to wrestle. "Hips! Hips! Hips!" "Belly! Belly! Belly!" "Go!" "Come On!" Or to the official: "Stalling" "Really?!?!" "Stalling" "Ah, Come On!" "Stalling!" "He's backing up!" "He's stalling!!!!" These words account for nearly 50% of the vocabulary used by wrestling coaches. None of it has an impact that leads to anything positive. It becomes noise to competitors and officials. It's unfortunate because when the coach does have something beneficial or useful to say, their voice is already categorized as noise and is blocked out so it goes unnoticed.

There are several other things that caught my attention, but I'll reserve them for another day.

The End of the World: I Was There

If you're reading this post, you survived the end of the world that was scheduled to take place last Friday. I don't think many of us actually believed the world would cease to exist on December 21, 2012. However, if you're like me, you secretly wondered "what if it's true?"

As the day approached, I guess I looked at things differently and appreciated the little things a bit more. Coupled with a recent tragic event that shook the US and the upcoming Christmas season, last week was full of reminders to hug your loved ones a few extra times, take advantage of the opportunities that are in front of you and seize the day (carpe diem).

One of my mentors once told me a story about one of his friends who died and how the brother of his friend read a quote that was hand written in the back of his Bible. It said, "when it's your time to die, it better be the only thing you have left to do." When he said those words, they pierced my soul. They were simple, yet extremely profound and, dare I say, haunting. I immediately grabbed my Bible and wrote the same words inside the back cover. If I have anything to do with it, I don't want to leave anything on the table when it's my time.

Do you have things you're putting off for another day that should get done today? Do you wait for a tragedy or an end times prophesy to hug your loved ones a little more than normal? Step into the moment and take advantage of the opportunities that are before you.

As we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ this week, I'm encouraged to know that God took advantage of the opportunity to send his son into the world at an exact and perfect time. Galatians 4:4 says, "But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law." God seized the moment and it changed the course of history forever. Let's all do the same.

Living in a mom's world

I'm sure everyone who reads this blog is familiar with the character of Batman. Bruce Wayne acts as an American billionaire playboy, industrialist, and philanthropist by day and caped crusader by night sweeping through Gotham City ridding it of bad guys. I suppose my life is similar in that I play two characters simultaneously. Mr. Mom cooking, cleaning and washing clothes by day and a whistle wielding wrestling coach by night.

We decided to organize our lives in such a way that we wouldn't need to utilize child care. Our system works well for us because Liz works days and I work nights. As a result, I find myself doing many of the things that traditional stay-at-home mothers do during the day. I make breakfast, start the dishwasher, load the washing machine, drive to preschool, switch the laundry, drive to the library, grocery store and, of course, Target. Then I make it home in time to make lunch before unloading the dishwasher and putting the boys down for naps. In the midst of raising two joyful little boys, I've managed to conduct a variety of covert amateur anthropological studies focused primarily on the organization of human social and cultural relations and human behavior (for more context, read Opening scene: an indoor playground). I see many of the same people day-to-day, and as you might guess, not many of them are of the male gender. I'm the only person with facial hair at story time at the library (and the grandmother who brings her two grandchildren doesn't count).

I'm surrounded by mothers and their children everywhere I go during the daylight hours and I've classified the stay-at-home moms into three distinct categories. I've made significant stereotype claims and none of them are intended to be derogatory. In fact, I have the utmost respect for these powerful women that I cross paths with on a daily basis. So, in tongue-and-cheek fashion, here are the categories:

OVERTLY CHRISTIAN MOM
She wears her faith on her sleeve. She's not ashamed of the cross or her godly responsibility to be at home with her kids. And she's not offended by the title, either. In fact, she's probably glad we know she's rock solid in her faith and would be honored to pray for you. This mom offers great perspective during difficult times and is the mom of all moms. She's involved in MOPS and organizes play dates at the park. Most of her kids are still pre-Kindergarten, however, she has her ducks in a row and is ready to begin the homeschool process. She hasn't owned a television since she got married (much to the dismay of her husband), so she read On Becoming Babywise, What to Expect When You're Expecting, Parenting by the Book and several other parenting books. She's quick to take advantage of free opportunities at the public library because she has her family on a budget after completing Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. She's very exclusive and works hard to surround herself with other Overtly Christian Moms.

Overtly Christian Mom: The Stats
Kids names: Biblical names like Jacob, Isaac, Grace, Hope (or Isaiah and Micaiah...)
Vehicle: 2007 Chrysler Town & Country
Workout: A long summer walk pushing the stroller
Breastfeeding in public?: With a paisley "hooter hider," of course
Diaper bag: 16 pockets, fully-equipped with various wipes, powders and ointments
Diapers: Tried cloth, but it was way too hard, settles for bulk deals at diapers.com
Grocery Store: Aldi
Garden: yes
Organic: When it's cost effective, absolutely
Wardrobe: maternity clothes (even when she's not pregnant)
Phone: LG flip phone
Social media: Facebook

HIPPIE MOM
This mom is similar to the mom above except she doesn't base her decision to stay at home on pressure from anyone other than herself. She hasn't been called by God and feels no guilt from the church (she might not even believe in God). Staying home is just the most natural thing for her to do. Actually, most of her life is based on what is natural - her clothes (and sometimes hygiene, sorry), her child rearing or disciplinary actions, etc. Her kids can become a distraction to others and she doesn't think it's a big deal. She's very "chill" and never overreacts. She doesn't have cable television because she's never been interested in the programming on anything other that public television. The look of this mom is very distinctive and her circle is unintentionally quite exclusive.

Hippie Mom: The Stats
Kids names: Theo, George, Harmony, Mabel
Vehicle: 1988 Toyota Land Cruiser (on occasion, a used Prius)
Workout: A challenging hike with a homemade wrap baby carrier
Breastfeeding in public?: Go for it, au naturale
Diaper bag: Reusable eco-friendly bag from Trader Joe's
Diapers: Cloth
Grocery Store: local co-op
Garden: Yes
Organic: Definitely (and vegan)
Wardrobe: Wool, earth tones and Keen's or Choco's
Phone: iPhone 4
Social media: e-mail

TWEENER MOM
She lands smack dab in the middle of the Overtly Christian Mom and Hippie Mom. She wants to be home because she thinks it's right for her children. She might have a spiritual background that guides her desire towards being at home and it just feels right for her. She just wants to spend the formative years with her kids. She's naturally extraverted and mingles with every group so she has friends from every category. In fact, when she has a few moms over for dinner, it's the only time some of her Overtly Christian Mom and Hippie Mom friends interact with one another. She has DirecTV because her husband insists they need it for sports. She quietly wishes they didn't have a television like her other mom friends, but she's thankful for the option to plop the kiddos down in front of an episode of Thomas while she makes dinner (she would never admit this to the others). She shares songs like "Summergirls" by LFO on Spotify and has a Cascada station on Pandora because it reminds her of her college years. Now, she spends her free time Pinning cutesy crafts, gingerbread houses and stocking stuffers or watching old episodes of Grey's on Hulu.

Tweener Mom: The Stats
Kids names: Bella, Ella, Brayden, Aiden, Caden, Madison, Addison
Vehicle: 2010 Honda Pilot
Workout routine: Zumba (with child care)
Breastfeeding in public?: not comfortable/too modest
Diaper bag: A chic Vera Bradley or modern Columbia that doubles as a messenger bag
Diapers: Target brand
Grocery Store: Target or Trader Joe's
Garden: In her dreams
Organic: If it's convenient, sure, why not?
Wardrobe: Joe's Jeans, Tom's, layers and, of course, a scarf
Phone: Galaxy S III
Social media: Pinterest

Thank God for moms!

The Ten Habits of Highly Effective Coaches

One of the most successful business self-help books in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. I recommend it as a "must read" by anyone interested in reaching his/her full human potential. The book presents an approach to being effective in reaching goals by following "true north." He divides the habits into three categories: independence or self-mastery (habits 1-3), interdependence (habits 4-6) and renewal (habit 7).

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
1. Be Proactive
2. Begin with the End in Mind
3. Put First Things First
4. Think Win-Win
5. Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the Saw

These habits are universal principles that lead individuals to being effective, no matter the endeavor - including being a coach. The idea of the habits of highly effective people has been applied to almost every industry in America. Wayne Goldsmith gives expert advice for sports coaching success and shared his perspective with The Ten Habits of High Effective Coaches.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle

The Ten Habits of Highly Effective Coaches
1. Make training more challenging and more demanding than the competition your athletes are targeting
2. Learn and develop as a coach at a faster rate than your athletes
3. Accelerate your rate of learning faster than your opposition
4. Enhance your creative thinking skills
5. Coach individuals - even in team sports
6. Ensure that every athlete that you work with out prepares (in every aspect) their opposition
7. Adapt your training plans and programs to optimize their impact on each individual athlete at every training session
8. Performance practice - not practice makes perfect
9. Adopt an integrated, multi-disciplinary approach to talent development and performance enhancement
10. Lead

I will be taking the next few weeks to dig deeper on the habits of highly effective coaches by putting a wrestling spin on each one.

Thinking outside the box as a coach

This week marks the beginning of the high school wrestling season in Wisconsin. I was fortunate to take part in the starting process for a few schools this year. I saw some new, innovative ideas as well as many mediocre and stagnant approaches that are prevalent in our sport.

The best programs and best coaches are creative. They communicate well and have passion and commitment, however, they have the secret ingredient that's also available to everyone else: the desire to think outside the box.

Coaches and leaders discuss ideas to spur "outside the box" thinking. They're often interested in trying something new. They claim to be looking for real innovation, genuine creativity and ideas to give them an advantage over their competition or build a program with the numbers to compete with basketball, hockey and other opportunities offered in their community. However, most aren't really looking for something "outside the box." What they're really looking for is a way to continue selling the same thing in a different way. For something that makes their current "box" a little bigger so it can hold more of the same stuff. Or they want short term, quick fix solutions using the "box" analogy. They want some nice wrapping paper and a pretty ribbon to make the old "box" look new. Thinking outside the box often requires something entirely different than what we're used to.

Sport is inherently conservative and therefore it doesn't progress as quickly as it could. Many educated and capable leaders choose the status quo because it's comfortable and predictable. They opt to do things the way they've always been done. Many times, in spite of the best solution being obvious and readily available, we don't take it, preferring instead to adopt the solution that ruffles the least amount of feathers or causes the fewest waves.

Success in sports is about daring to be different, taking intelligent risks and taking the lead in introducing real breakthroughs by being unique, more innovative and creative than your competition. Coaches who chose comfortable complacency over celebrating creativity are hard pressed in the growth process. Doing what everyone else is doing is boring and results in mediocrity.

So, how do we think outside the box?

1. Look at other sports.
In most sports, coaches are stuck in their ways. If they consider a different approach, it's probably from another coach within their sport. Thanks to the Internet, anyone can find anything at any time for free, so the chances of finding a winning edge or breakthrough by looking within your sport is very low. Look at other sports, other coaches and other athletes outside your sport for athletic principles that can be applied to all areas of life and sport. Every above average wrestling coach watches the Technique Wave on FloWrestling. How many are picking the cross country coach's brain to understand periodized training at a higher level?

2. Look beyond sports.
Sports are a very small part of society. There are many other professionals who perform with precision in high pressured situations on a daily basis. There are great teachers who have mastered scenario based learning and differentiated educational plans in order to maximize the learning potential of every student. Anyone who is successful in an endeavor possess desire and drive similar to that of a successful athlete. They can all help take your coaching abilities to a new level. Take 20 minutes to view one of many TED Talks and you'll quickly understand that if you're only looking to sports to help you become a better coach, you've only just scratched the surface.

3. Look inside.
As human beings, we have an unlimited capacity to love and imagine. We're only limited by our willingness. Creativity is taking your imagination and dreams and turning them into actions and behaviors. Ignoring that "little voice" with all of the ideas and crazy thoughts is limiting your potential and keeping you from being the man or woman you were created to be. Who we are is on the inside, so let your light shine. Successful coaches use their strengths and ideas effectively. They don't try to be the person their coach or mentor was.

This is what it looks like to think outside the box:

Nissan - Wouldn't It Be Cool - Sentra 2013 from danDifelice on Vimeo.

The End of an American Icon: Hostess Brands

In 1930, the first Twinkie rolled out of the oven. The "Golden Sponge Cake with Creamy Filling" made it's mark on American snack food history, but it's legacy is coming to an abrupt end today.

Hostess Brands announced that it is ceasing plant operations and laying off most of its 18,500 employees. It stated that it intended to sell off all of its assets, including Twinkies, and liquidate. This is a sad day for America.

Twinkies popularity soared in the 1950's because it sponsored the 'Howdy Doody Show.' It was also relevant in popular culture in the '60s. Archie Bunker from 'All In the Family' got a Twinkie in his lunch everyday. The Twinkie remained a part of television throughout each decade (remember Ghostbusters in the '80s?). Apu from 'The Simpsons' even stated, "You cannot hurt the Twinkie." Well, despite Bill Clinton insisting that it should be in the millenium time capsule alongside a piece of the Berlin Wall, the Twinkie is more than hurt. It's dead. Clinton said that it is an "object of enduring American symbolism." Ironically, it seems the conclusion of this confectionary creation of Hostess symbolizes America and its politics of today quite well.

It took more than 40,000 miles of plastic wrap to wrap a year's production of Twinkies. I always appreciated the little residue of gooey cake that stuck to that clear plastic wrapper. It was my favorite part.

Twinkies have a shelf-life of twenty-five days. The recipe for the Twinkie contains no dairy products, which prolongs its freshness. The rumors of Twinkies lasting forever aren't true. My boys had their first Twinkie today, so even if I were to stock pile, it will likely be their last.

Opening scene: an indoor playground

The Giggle Factory. An indoor playground full of runny noses and estrogen is where I chose to take the boys this morning. We go there occasionally so they can go down the slides, but they seem to be interested only in the snacks.

We were the first ones there this morning and enjoyed almost ten minutes of the entire place to ourselves. It was exciting to see Isaiah taking risks and Micaiah thoroughly enjoying himself. Then the flood gates opened.

As a preferred location for "play dates," when a mother of four rolls in, she's usually there to meet a few girlfriends who bring their children, too. Pandemonium ensues. Within 20 minutes, the Giggle Factory is home to over 30 kids and 16 parents (only 2 dads). Moms are frantically chasing their kids around the facility attempting to micromanage their activity and apply hand sanitizer to every square inch of exposed skin. One conversation near the padded stairs turns into tears because Mom is no less than smothering her rambunctious bambino. All at once, it seems, each mom throws up her hands and collectively decides to let kids be kids. A few moms head for the espresso bar for snacks and refreshments. My kids had been munching on Goldfish crackers back there since the others arrived, mind you. The women frantically dig in their diaper bags for spare change amidst the baby wipes and pre-packed snacks so they can buy something to take the edge off. They choose cappuccino, because vodka-tonic or margaritas aren't on the menu.

Kids being kids is a joyous sight. Genuine jubilation for life is difficult to ignore. I watch my boys climb, slide, jump and laugh without a care in the world. This is the life.

Then, in comes that mom. Judgmental stares emerge above the cardboard cappuccino mugs. Stares followed by more stares. You know who she is. The mom who lost all her additional "baby weight" during labor and probably wore 3-inch heels and skinny jeans home from the hospital. She's wearing slouch cuffed knee high boots and low rise silhouette True Religions that appear to be painted on. Where did she even fit a baby? Of course, she's accompanied by a crew of spiky haired little boys who double as a Gap models. They look more like accessories than her children. The mom who was wincing earlier from hitting her head on a pole in an area that was way too small for her makes a few snarky comments under breath, rolls her eyes and looks to the espresso bar to re-confirm that they don't have a top shelf of special drinks for the moms that aren't pregnant or nursing.

The other dad is lost on a smart phone, likely in a world of Fantasy Football updating his roster and my boys are already asking for round two of snacks when a "child care collaborative" group in matching yellow shirts arrives. The Giggle Factory has officially turned into a zoo. Almost 40 kids have morphed into animals. Isaiah observes the raucous, munching on Goldfish. How do I explain to him that this is actually normal behavior...for chimpanzees?

Three little boys gang up on a smaller boy and engage in a beating that looks like something from Robert DeNiro's A Bronx Tale. I almost step in to break it up. No one disciplines the three bullies, so I begin to plan my exit strategy in case these little guys start something with my kids. I think: if they so much as look at my kids, I might do something that I regret. I digress.

Seriously? Seriously. The dad who I thought was updating his roster in time for tonight's game on the NFL Network was actually summoning the troops for a birthday party. Enter more 3 year olds. I thought he was responsibly just letting his kids be crazy like dads do in these settings. I thought we were on the same page. So much for Band of Brothers. He wrote the names of the party goers on clear plastic cups. Head injury mom eyes the cups and reminisces about a time in her early 20's when she would use them for something else. That was long ago.

Another fight breaks out at the bottom of the red slide between two boys who tried to occupy the same space between the slide and the wall. There was scratching and clawing and then screaming and some laughing. A Bronx Tale is soon to become an indoor version of Westside Story on this playground. Sharks vs. Jets (I wonder what side Isaiah and Micaiah are on). Much to the chagrin of everyone over 6 years old, the instigator belonged to Knee High Boots. She was definitely out of her element and suddenly Head Injury felt like she was back in hers.

Isaiah patiently walks in my direction, "Daddy, can I have another snack."

In the back corner I hear rustling. Trying to make out what the little rug rats are saying, I imagine it sounding something like [queue music] "When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way. From you first cigarette till you last dyin' day."

"No, Buddy. I think it's time to go."

Fashion in wrestling

I always wear a collared shirt when I play golf. My high school wrestling coach told me, "to be good, you have to look good." He said it tongue-and-cheek, of course, but it has stayed with me. He explained that if you're a good golfer, but carry a junky bag and wear raggedy clothes, when you have a nice shot, people think you're lucky. On the flip-side, if you have a nice set of clubs and look like a golfer, but you're actually horrible, when you have a bad shot, people will think that you're probably really good, but just had an isolated bad shot.

On a similar note, I recall a teacher encouraging me to "dress-up" on big test days. He said, "If you look good, you feel good and if you feel good, you perform better."

I don't know if there's merit to these philosophies, however, many people seem to believe in them. Either way, the sports world has as much of a fashion culture as Hollywood does. The style of uniforms, workout gear, etc. change as rapidly as the preferred fit of jeans. It's difficult to say if sports style is related more to social acceptance/popularity or to performance.

This blog is about wrestling-specific sports fashion. The idea is a request from one of the most stylistically interesting athletes that I've coached (imagine 3-inch Rocky Balboa shorts and a turquoise sweatshirt). His style was definitely his own and outside of the trends. So, what are a few trends that I've seen?

When I was in high school, it was a trademark for wrestlers to tuck their sweatshirts into their pants. From a performance standpoint, the idea was to keep your body heat from escaping and to eliminate baggy clothing during practice (fingers break in baggy clothing). It was also a way for wrestlers to clearly distinguish themselves from others. I wore sweatpants with elastic ankles and tucked everything in - t-shirts, warm-up jackets, sweatshirts, etc. If I had an elastic waist band, it was a license to jam something down those pants. Very few wrestlers do this today.

In 1998, there was a significant shift in how coaches, athletes and others approached wrestling because of four weight cutting tragedies. People evaluated what was actually best for athletes instead of following "old school" stereotypes. Hydration became a major part of the sport and it affected fashion, too. Bulky clothes were out and tight fitting clothes were in. Wearing sweatpants and sweatshirts "drained" too much energy and the loss of excessive water weight during practice was counter-productive. Wearing light clothes and staying hydrated during practice allowed for individuals to train at a much higher level. I was a college freshman and spandex shorts were "it." Once you go spandex, you never go back. Tight fitting shorts made so much more sense in a wrestling practice room. College athletes aren't insecure about their bodies, so everyone wore them during practice. My brother was a senior in high school and it wasn't socially acceptable to bring the spandex into the high school room, but he did it anyways.

This all coincided with the emergence of sports super company Under Armour. Not only did they make compression shorts, they rolled out a line of "Heat Gear" compression shirts in nearly every team color. By 2001, wrestlers across the US were covered in spandex. It wasn't uncommon to see an elite wrestler practicing in a long sleeve Under Armour shirt and long spandex pants. Under Armour took hold of other sports, too, so tight fitting practice clothing trickled down to high school wrestling rooms because athletes could wear a $50 shirt under their football pads and then wear it during wrestling season and whatever he/she did in the spring.

Currently, it's not uncommon to see high school athletes wearing singlets during practice. Little kids wear their singlets to practice and until recently, it was unheard of to see an elite wrestler practice in a singlet. I think the emergence of female wrestling has made it culturally acceptable to wear singlets during practice. Most females wear singlets because it's one piece. It has led males to understand that it is comfortable practice attire. Senior-level Greco-Roman wrestlers have practiced in singlets for as long as I've been involved and many international athletes wear competition singlets during practice. It's not the norm and, in most rooms, the guy who chooses to wear a singlet is usually the "coolest" guy in the room and isn't peer-pressured out of it. Fight shorts have emerged, but it's basically mesh shorts and cotton t-shirts that is worn during practice by most wrestlers today.

The fashion within wrestling stretches across many categories. Practice attire mildly affects competition attire. Hair styles, head gear, socks, singlets, warm-ups, head phones and bags have all gone through various kinds of style transformations. I was in sixth grade when a few high school athletes stayed at my house during an event. I immediately began rolling my socks over my shoes. Rolled socks, tall socks, short socks, no socks, wool socks, double socks, bunched socks, flamboyant socks, basketball socks, name brand socks, black socks and the list goes on. All have found their place as the "it" way for sock protocol in the past 20 years. Long hair, short hair, dyed hair, bleached hair, designed hair, big hair, bangs, mohawks, tails, stripes and mullets have already started to recycle within 20 years.

I could go on and on about this subject. I'm actually quite passionate about it. I see styles and trends change across the coaching world, too. Going to a wrestling tournament today, nearly every coach seems to have a shaved head. Under Armour rules the coaching world, which makes sense since the spandex wearing athletes in 2001 are now coaches. Mustaches, goatees, sideburns, clean shaven...so many decisions for coaches, too.

The demise of Lance

When Lance Armstrong made the announcement that he would stop fighting allegations regarding doping during his cycling career on August 23rd, I thought he had either evaluated his priorities and realized his Tour victories didn't define him and was ready to move on OR he knew that a mountain of undeniable evidence was just around the corner and he was trying to save face and take the high road before he was pegged a cheater.

There comes a time in every man's life when he has to say, "Enough is enough." For me, that time is now. I have been dealing with claims that I cheated and had an unfair advantage in winning my seven Tours since 1999. Over the past three years, I have been subjected to a two-year federal criminal investigation followed by Travis Tygart's unconstitutional witch hunt. The toll this has taken on my family, and my work for our foundation and on me leads me to where I am today - finished with this nonsense. - Lance Armstrong, August 23, 2012

That's it. Armstrong quit. The poster child for never give up did exactly that. I'm angry because I believed him and believed in him for so long. "Everyone wants to know what I'm on," he said during memorable commercial. "I'm on my bike busting my ass 6 hours a day. What are you?" The answer his teammates and every other cyclist interviewed gave was, "the same thing as Lance...and our bikes for 6 hours a day, too." His actions over the past two months have been nothing short of an admission of guilt. Quitting the fight says he's guilty of cheating.

The Lance Armstrong that I admired was not a quitter. He was a cancer survivor and became the most dominant athlete in professional sports. People like that don't quit, but this one did. His 'enough is enough' statement came only a few weeks before a gigantic, 202-page compilation of eye-witness accounts of him taking performance enhancing drugs on several occasions. He never failed a drug test (at least what we know), but quitting the fight this way is worth more than 1,000 failed drug tests. The man who didn't quit, who wouldn't quit, when death was knocking on his door quit when allegations pilled so high they couldn't be denied any more. If the allegations were false, he would have fought them forever.

What message do these past few months give to people who looked to Armstrong for inspiration? Cancer patients, cancer survivors and so many others now see a hypocrisy in a man who overcame death only to quit when his personal reputation was on the line. Certainly, Lance Armstrong, the inspirational cancer survivor, and Lance Armstrong, the disgraced cyclist, will be put into two separate categories for some time. His foundation has raised over $500 million for cancer research. Regardless of how he earned his platform, that is commendable. Livestrong will continue to do great things in medical research, but will forever be followed by a cloud of suspicion and scandal. It's hard to imagine that it will be as effective as it was before Armstrong's reputation was permanently damaged.

"You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time." - Abraham Lincoln

Leaders are Lifters

While watching NFL Sunday Countdown, a quote about Eli Manning caught my attention. One of his wide receivers said of the Super Bowl MVP, "leaders are lifters. He picks us up and carries us on his back." I liked the little phrase so I searched the internet for similar quotes regarding leaders are lifters. The only thing that turned up was Manning's head coach Tom Coughlin saying the same thing about him. Leaders are lifters.

Digging deeper, it's clear that Manning has a great rapport with his teammates. They describe his as being very positive and encouraging. He speaks to the potential of each athlete instead of dwelling on the things he cannot control (dropped passes, injuries, etc.). He also demonstrates genuine care for other players. He talks to them, walks off the practice field with them and continues to give people chances. He's easy for players to follow.

It's evident in professional sports that the best leaders are lifters. Aaron Rodgers is another great example of a Super Bowl MVP who lifted his teammates to higher levels in spite of injuries and setbacks to achieve the ultimate goal in professional football.

Here are nine leadership principles that lead to leaders becoming lifters:

1. They believe in others. Leaders who actively empower others to showcase their abilities are able to pull the potential out of those around them.

2. They're passionate. It's easy to follow a leader who cares deeply about the vision and mission. It's just as easy to not follow someone when they're not as interested in the plan as others.

3. They take personal responsibility for the bad and quickly give credit to others for the good. The trick to this principle is it must be sincere. Great leaders credit others because they sincerely believe they deserve the credit. Followers will sniff the fraud who credits others only because they believe it will benefit their bottom line. Additionally, they shoulder the blame when it doesn't go well. They look at themselves first and recognize how they can become better while realizing they cannot do it alone.

4. They control the controlables. Staying focused is a key ingredient to success in all facets of life. When a leader begins to focus on things out of his/her control, the pieces will fall apart. Attitude and effort is always within your control. Start there.

5. They open their mouth only when needed. When words are carefully selected and used only when needed, people listen eagerly. When words are used too much, they become noise and are quickly blocked out. Great leaders lead by example first and with words second.

6. They remain upbeat. Being optimistic allows for a leader to be a positive encouragement instead of a "Debbie Downer." People want to follow individuals who are upbeat, can keep things light and have a healthy perspective. Optimistic leaders believe the best is possible.

7. They choose greatness. You don't need permission to make yourself better. The best leaders set a higher standard for themselves than what they expect of others. They simply demand that what gets done today is more excellent than what was done yesterday. The standard doesn't have to be your standard. Your can set standards higher than the rest. It's your choice.

8. They lead with their heart, not their ego. When maintaining status as a leader takes precedence over winning as a team, success becomes difficult. The best leaders are also humble - they have a proper understanding of who they are and how they relate to the world and others around them. Leading with your heart forces you to care for others.

9. They don't miss the opportunity to publicly praise others. Similarly, they never take the opportunity to publicly ridicule or demean others. Public praise allows for private criticism because trust is established.

How can this type of leadership be applied to our lives? Everyone has access to becoming a leader that lifts others. If you're a husband or wife, parent, friend, coach, athletes, etc., these principles can be used to have a positive impact on others. Make it a goal to assure that others are better for having come into contact with you.

Jiro Dreams of Sushi

I'm fascinated by individuals who strive to become the best in the world. I study the mannerisms and nuances that help make them great. Whether if it's the best athlete in the world, the best coach, or...the best sushi chef, there are striking similarities between those who are the best.

I recently watched a documentary about the world renown sushi chef Jiro Ono. His skill and technique is unmatched in the culinary world. His small, 10-seat restaurant requires reservations almost one year in advance and demands $300 per plate. His reviews are impeccable and people travel across the world to sit before the great Jiro.

His presence and preparation makes nearly every one of his customers nervous. They all explain that their experience is worth whatever it took to be a part of the greatness.

In the case of Jiro Ono, one journalist described that a great chef has the following five attributes:

1. They take their work very seriously and consistently perform at the highest level.

2. They aspire to improve their skills.

3. Cleanliness. If the restaurant doesn't feel clean, the food isn't going to taste good.

4. Impatience. They're better leaders than collaborators. They're stubborn and insist on having it their way.

5. They're passionate.

Jiro sets the standard for discipline. He’s always looking ahead. He’s never satisfied with his work. He’s always trying to make the sushi better, or improve his skills. Even now, that’s all he thinks about, all day, every day. He's 85 years old and considered the best sushi chef ever, however he still strives to improve.

All I want to do is make better sushi. I do the same thing over and over, improving bit by bit. There is always a yearning to achieve more. I’ll continue to climb, trying to reach the top, but no one knows where the top is.

He's obsessed with sushi. It's his passion. It's the only thing he's ever wanted to do and he has always pushed the envelope to be original. He said, "I would make sushi in my dreams. In the middle of the night, I’d jump out of bed with new ideas."

The qualities that Jiro Ono exudes are similar to those of the greatest of all-time in other categories. Individuals like Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs and Albert Einstein, to name a few, will go down in history as being the best in the world at what they did. They demonstrated a passion, character traits and standards similar to best sushi chef in the world.

In the wrestling world, Dan Gable studied other greats like Mickey Mantle and Secretariat. Dave Schultz was fascinated by the great Miyamoto Musashi. The greats study the greats. I wonder if it's because they're the only people they really understand. They cannot identify with someone who doesn't posses the same attributes they do. They might be in a different field or profession, but greatest is often manufactured in the same way.

Burn the Plows

Steven Furtick recently released his second book, entitled Greater. In it, he uses the story of Elisha to describe how God desires our life become greater. The book was released congruent to a sermon series of the same title. It’s profound in wisdom, yet simple in application.

In 1 Kings 19:19-21, Elisha is called to follow Elijah. Elisha was in the field with his oxen and plow when Elijah arrived to bring him on board. Immediately, Elisha knew that there was something greater for him and he burned his plow and had an enormous barbecue for the people serving oxen.

Elisha had a career that was respectable and safe. He knew that pushing a plow supported his family. So when he decided to burn the plows, he left himself with no way out. He was “all in.” He didn’t give himself a back door in case things didn’t work out. He didn’t store his plow for when things became difficult in ministry.

I shared this story with our athletes after practice this weekend because many of us have plows we’re storing in the shed (metaphorically speaking). We hesitate to go all in because the results are not guaranteed. It’s scary to fully commit to something knowing the risks and that it might not work out the way you would like. We naturally hold on to those things that are less than best because it’s safe. We settle for good enough at the expense of greater.

What does it look like in your life to go “all in”? It’s different for everyone. A plow could be something like a change of attitude towards a certain situation, a relationship that might need to end or need boundaries, something physical like a habit to stop, or anything holding you back from what is BEST.

Elisha’s plow symbolized something good. The worst enemy of what’s BEST for you is what’s GOOD for you. Settling for good enough keeps us from being the men and women that God created us to be. You can’t move into greater things until you burn good enough.


Most of us are not in danger of ruining our lives. We are in danger of wasting our lives.

What I learned from Monday Night Football

Opinion about the replacement referees in the NFL is no longer a controversial issue. Everyone who doesn’t own a professional football team thinks it’s time to get the original referees back on the field. For Packers fans, Monday night’s debacle was something they never want to experience again.

As a sports fan, I understand that bad calls happen and can affect the outcome of the game. This isn’t new, however, the subsequent reactions seem to be treading on new territory. Calling out the NFL, phone calls to the commissioner, players tweeting expletives, social media outcries, etc. are happening because the fans are upset.

The dynamic I was most interested in during the fiasco was how individuals demonstrated their capacity to handle adversity. Mike McCarthy, the head coach for the Green Bay Packers, represented all that is right about sportsmanship and standards of excellence during and after that already infamous moment. (I’m an avid Packers fan and stock holder, by the way, so I might be biased).

McCarthy was emotionless while the events unfolded. He never lost his composure. In fact, he had the similar stoic demeanor that he exudes during victories. He was calm and steady. Of course, many of the players lost their cool, but McCarthy stayed the course. He has standards and he walked the talk. He went on the describe that he was frustrated that he hadn’t made a change in the game plan sooner and that he was only going to control what he could control. He took the high road.

The talking heads beat this issue to death on Tuesday. I watched the final play at least 150 times. I was anxious to hear what McCarthy had to say and during his afternoon press conference, he didn’t disappoint. He acknowledged that he was upset, however, he said it was his responsibility to help channel all of the emotion and energy in the locker room towards the Saints this weekend. He didn’t say they were ripped off, he didn’t talk about the replacement referees and he didn’t dwell on what had happened. He buried it in the past and moved forward like a great leader.

The Packers are less than two seasons removed from winning the Super Bowl. McCarthy’s press conference yesterday reminded me of his midseason stance two seasons ago. He found a way to take all of the negative energy (injuries, etc.) and funnel it towards the next game one week at a time. He helped the team carry that proverbial “chip” on their shoulders. Once again, one of the best teams in the NFL has a chip on their shoulder and their commander-in-chief, Mike McCarthy, is steering the ship.

McCarthy is a great example of what convictions and standards of excellence look like in professional sports and leadership. Not only is he admirable in moments of crisis, he’s a role model of character and integrity when things are going well, too. He has clearly turned a setback into a set-up this week.

Why not me?

I've heard many athletes use the term "why not me?" when looking for the confidence needed to achieve their goals. It's a rhetorical question and along the lines of "someone has to win, so it might as well be me" thought process. I'm on board with both.

Last night, I was discussing goals with an athlete and he said he had come to the realization of "why not me?" He was indicating that he had turned the corner in his mind and was ready to achieve the goals he has set for himself. When he said, "why not me?" I instructed him to answer the question. He was stunned and somewhat speechless. I said, "Why not you? Answer that question." Of course he wasn't prepared to answer the cliche question, but it's my nature to push people in those scenarios.

He began explaining why he should reach his goals. He has put in the time, worked harder than anyone else, done all of the little things right, etc. I informed him that's why him. It doesn't answer why not. This is the disconnect. He understood all of the things that should be leading to success, however, he wasn't ready to consider the things that were leading him away from success. It wasn't a case of taking the wrong path or choosing bad things. He was simply being shortsighted in some of the decisions he had made. They looked great in the moment, but more flavor-of-the-month decisions instead of long term planning on how to achieve the goals he had set. The reason he had not reached his goals yet is because he hasn't been completely committed to it in all areas of his preparation and training even if it appeared so from a physical standpoint.

Why not me? Why not? Can you answer that question?

Always make withdrawals, rarely make deposits

We can take this illustration in many different directions. I've shared my concern with the abundance of competitions compared to practices. I've also talked about young athletes are burning out at an alarming rate because of unneeded pressures that steal their margin (margin is the space between load and limit). The truth is, we're a limited resource and we have to be strategic about how we use our time.

If withdrawals exceed deposits, an overdraft is inevitable. We all know this and watch the balance sheet in our checking accounts. Are we doing the same with our life? When someone files bankruptcy, it's too late to start looking at the balance sheet. That work should have been years before the breaking point. The same is true in divorce, giving up, quitting, etc. The breaking point might provide a new perspective, but it's too late to start monitoring the balance. That has to be done well in advance, with foresight and vision, with hopes and dreams, with classifications and priorities.

As a coach, I encourage every athlete to make a priorities list and check it often. I give them permission to classify and prioritize their commitments and relationships. I encourage them to give themselves permission, too. Because some people are useful and some are useless. Some opportunities are build our lives up, others tear them down. When liabilities have out-weigh assets our debt ratio becomes uncontrollable and presents a large number of risks.

In the market place, the higher the debt ratio, the greater risk will be associated with the firm's operation. Like all financial ratios, a company's debt ratio should be compared with their industry average or other competing firms. In the industry of youth sports, the debt ratio of young athletes is running at an unsustainable rate. If the same ratio was attached to an investment firm, a lot of people would lose their money.

Yesterday, an 11-year old athlete told me that his baseball team was scheduled to play 16 games over four days this weekend and into next week. I was shocked by that number and my only response was that he should bring a lot of sunscreen. Our best junior athletes wrestled over 15 matches in four days last week in Oklahoma (down from 20+ matches in previous years). A family friend of ours said they go to soccer games nearly every night. So many athletes are making withdrawal after withdrawal, but not depositing anything. An overdraft is inevitable. When the teenager files bankruptcy on his young sports career, it's too late to offer alternatives.

Classify and prioritize. Is it necessary to participate if it robs your family of movie night? It is worth it to try to impress a coach at the expense of a family vacation, prom, a graduation ceremony, etc.? Why do you do what you do? What's the long-term vision (of your "coach" or your son/daughter or you)? Why not take a night off?

Last night, I took the night off and took my son to the movie 'Brave.' It was awesome to hang out with him. One of the best nights of my life. Much to my chagrin, the athletes that I left at Victory didn't suffer a bit. In fact, many of them went to the movie, too. Maybe they needed a movie night placed into their rigorous sports schedule to actually take some time for themselves (make a deposit). Since leaving the theater, Isaiah and I have been repeating the line with Merida's little Irish accent, "if you could change your fate, would ya?" Well, would YOU?

High sense of entitlement, low sense of gratitude

This first topic - high sense of entitlement, low sense of gratitude - shapes the entire discourse on this subject. It's first on the list because it's most evident and most powerful. Additionally, it's not unique to athletics and is more so a result of child rearing than it is of the sports culture. However, the sports culture magnifies and multiplies the sentiment of entitlement coupled with a lack of gratitude. We're trained to be takers instead of givers and the sports culture rewards it.

Family psychologist John Rosemond penned the book Parenting By the Book and answers questions by parents on his website, rosemond.com. He explains Generation E's sense of entitlement like this:

When I began writing this column in 1976, I never thought parents would ever ask me for advice concerning problems with young adult children, and for many years they did not.

Over the past 10 years or so, however, as the pigeons of what I call Postmodern Psychological Parenting have come home to roost, more and more parents have asked me what to do about children (and they are most definitely still children) in their twenties and even thirties still living at home, still expecting their parents to solve their problems, and still acting irresponsibly.

For 40 years and counting, American parents have raised children in a manner that emphasizes feelings over rational thought and good citizenship.

With rare exception, post-1960’s “experts” encouraged parents to focus on the “inner child,” allow their children to express feelings freely, and cultivate high self-esteem.

In the home and America’s public schools, training children to think straight and prepare them for responsible adulthoods took a back seat to helping them feel good about themselves and protecting them from failure and disappointment.

The result is Generation E — self-absorbed young adults who have a high sense of entitlement and low regard for others...

...I know you would say you love your son, but let me challenge you: Love is doing for someone what they need, not what they want.

Years ago, the Wall Street Journal did a feature on "Trophy Kids" entering the workplace. They used the term "millennial generation" to describe individuals born between 1980 and 2001. The millennials were coddled by their parents and nurtured with a strong sense of entitlement.

In an article from October, 2008, Gretchen Neels, a Boston-based consultant, described a time when she was coaching a group of college students for job interviews and she asked them how they believe employers view them. She gave them a clue, telling them that the word she was looking for begins with the letter "e." One young man shouted out, "excellent." Other students chimed in with "enthusiastic" and "energetic." Not even close. The correct answer, she said, is "entitled." "Huh?" the students responded, surprised and even hurt to think that managers are offended by their highfalutin opinions of themselves.

This generation was treated so delicately that many schoolteachers stopped grading papers and tests in harsh-looking red ink. Some managers have seen millennials break down in tears after a negative performance review and even quit their jobs. "They like the constant positive reinforcement, but don't always take suggestions for improvement well," says Steve Canale, recruiting manager at General Electric Co. In performance evaluations, "it's still important to give the good, the bad and the ugly, but with a more positive emphasis."

Entitlement not only enters the workplace in the adult world, it enters the sports culture in the world of children. As a coach, do I have a responsibility to confront entitlement head-on? Should I aim to teach youth athletes about self-respect instead of self-esteem? I think so.

Kids come into our building with the belief that they're deserving or entitled to certain privileges. As a general rule, the more a parent is around (hovering), the more entitled, or exempt from the rules, the young athletes seem to believe they are. They are predisposed to believe their involvement is a right rather than a unique opportunity.

Unfortunately, I have to lay out our expectations of respect because, quite frankly, it's a foreign concept to a group of young athletes. We operate with high standards and have a few rituals that combat their sense of entitlement immediately. One seemingly small tradition is "having a seat" along the wall before and after practice. We share announcements and explain the expectations for each practice at the beginning and talk about life lessons at the end. It's a simple act of obedience that goes unnoticed for many who have been a part of Victory for an extended period of time, however, nearly every first time athlete notices and possesses an uncomfortable posture. Occasionally, an individual will have his own agenda and won't sit against the wall and we have to tell him that everyone must do so. What we're basically communication is, "you're not entitled here." It also signifies a beginning and an end to what we're doing. When we're finished, everyone shakes hands as an act of sportsmanship.

It's amazing how a simple gesture of sportsmanship creates a sense of gratitude. Individuals are humbled and I hear a lot of "thank you's" on the way out the door. I also make a point to thank them for coming. Practicing gratitude creates a grateful heart. I'm much more interested in working with a group of grateful athletes than I am with entitled ones, so we emphasize gratitude.

Today's Athletes - A Blog Series

Every few months I try to write a small series of blogs that are related in substance and topic. A couple of these series' received a lot of attention. Others, not so much. This week I plan on sharing a few ideas about the sports culture - something I'm very passionate about. I'd like to focus specifically on the athletes.

I hear coaches, parents, teachers and other adults claim that athletes today "are different." They say today's kids (athletes) don't work hard, don't respect authority, etc. I don't believe kids are different, however, the pressures surrounding them are new. This creates a different culture that turns out athletes that are unlike generations before them.

Below is a borrowed list of what I see the typical athlete in 2012 looks like:

1. High sense of entitlement, low sense of gratitude
2. Always makes withdrawals, rarely makes deposits
3. Demands rights, forsakes responsibilities
4. Doesn't follow through on commitments
5. Thinks what they're dealing with is the biggest deal
6. Excuses their own issues, picks out faults of others
7. Talks so much, listens so little
8. Wants success, won't work for it

I will focus on each of the eight characteristics of today's athletes in my upcoming posts. I encourage readers to offer their insights and opinions in an attempt to steer the ship in the right direction.

Many of these characteristics, I believe, are a result of the "exceptional child" movement. As in, every child is exceptional and unique. This mindset says that children are born perfect and it's our duty to keep them that way when, in fact, every child is born imperfect and hard wired for struggle.

I do believe everyone is created with uniqueness and distinction in the image of God, so they have intrinsic value. I also believe that kids are just that...kids. They are not, and should not, be the center of the universe. When they are - at home or as a result of sports - you get individuals who fit into every category of the above list. Chances are, if every night at your household revolves around practice and game schedules, your son or daughter has become the center of your universe and they are on a path to become the typical athlete mentioned above. Hopefully we can create a dialogue that empowers parents to take the control of their families back from sports. It might require some difficult decisions, though.

Disclaimer: I certainly don't believe I have all of the answers on how to make a difference. I might not have any. I see a fundamental error in how we, as a sports culture, do what we do and I'm trying to be the change I want to see in the world. I'm inviting you to help me.

Dual Tournaments

This is an interesting time of year in the wrestling world. Tomorrow, the Junior Duals national tournament begins. Recently, the Cadet and Schoolboy national dual meet tournaments took place. Additionally, several dual meet tournaments are taking place across the state. Dual meet events have taken over the summer training and camp experiences. It's feeding a culture of athletes, parents and coaches whose primary interest is competition, not practice.

I've shared my distaste for the national dual meet tournaments with several other coaches and get the sense that many believe they're not necessary, they're "too much," and the timing is not conducive to being successful in Fargo. Why aren't we talking about it openly then?

I've had many conversations with coaches and parents about summer dual meet events hosted by high school and college programs and hear similar feedback to what I believe: that these events aren't making kids better wrestlers. Then why do those same coaches take their team? Why are we investing so much time and money into opportunities that aren't improving our wrestlers? Why can't we have this conversation?

Not enough coaches are asking the important questions in regards to summer dual events. Why are we going? Some say to build team chemistry. Is it working? Can that actually be measured? Or is it all just an illusion? Are teams that participate in dual tournaments improving? I mean, are they getting better? Is it money well spent? High school and college programs enjoy hosting dual tournaments because it's easy money (and they need it to help support a program, I get that). Is that why we're doing it?

On a national level, do the Cadet and Junior duals make sense? Is is wise to wrestle 20 matches in four days? Does this make kids better? Does it burn them up for the rest of the summer? Is it cost effective? Why do we do it? USA Wrestling and other organizations endorse it, is that reason enough for us to do it and does it benefit our wrestlers? Are we becoming a you-rah-rah team sport and are we supposed to develop superficial friendships through experiences like this?

I have a lot of questions about dual meet tournaments and it seems like I'm the only one asking them. When I do, I get answers that lead me to believe that I'm not alone on the potential harm of these events in June and July. Why aren't we talking about it at board meetings, on the forums, at tournaments, etc.?

"National" tournaments

If you've read any of my previous posts over the past few years, you're well aware of my thoughts on the direction of youth sports. I won't spend time today giving background for the reasons I believe what I believe, but I do want to make a point on "national" tournaments for youth athletes.

I've been around a large number of young athletes over the past few weeks at various camps and I'm conducting a little experiment. I'm simply asking random kids if they can define a few words for me. One of those words is "national." I have found that nearly every kid 10 years old and younger cannot accurately define the word. If they cannot define the word, certainly I have grounds to believe that they don't value "national" tournaments or understand their significance. Parents do. The kids are just interested in the water slides that follow the event.

This is important to understand if we're in a position to develop athletes and hope to grow the sport of wrestling (or any other youth sport). I maintain that parents are driving youth sports and creating and taking advantage of opportunities based on what they want rather than what their kids need. In the end, it undermines the development and growth of their children.

We're losing sight of what's important - a healthy perspective. I had a little wrestler attend camp last weekend who was a total spitfire and physically ahead of the curve for his age. However, he wore sweatpants from Carter's. With young children of my own, I know that Carter's is a baby clothing store. That made it easy for me to maintain a healthy perspective with this little kid. He is still wearing clothing from a baby store, so he's probably not in a position to be wrestling at national tournaments (or even state or regional tournaments). This goes along with the kid who cannot put his own wrestling shoes on or tie them without Mom or Dad's help; he's probably not physically or mentally capable of learning complex wrestling skills and chain wrestling no matter how much his parents want him to.

Let's maintain a healthy perspective in youth sports and remember that they're children. Do we really need "national" tournaments for 6 year olds?

Ask questions

My oldest son, Isaiah, is in a stage of life that has him asking question after question. The word used most in his vocabulary is "why?" Of course, I encourage him to ask questions because they help him learn and us what is important to him.

I ask a lot of questions, too. I often ask others why others do what they do. I'm interested in their "story" and what motivates them. Leaders are learners and learners need to ask questions to understand how others view the world.

Our questions help us learn. They also communicate our values.

I distinctly recall my parents asking how events and school activities went. They communicated to me that they were interested in me being my best and doing my best. Their questions always revealed their values. They didn't ask what grade I had earned or if I won or lost. Often times, parents (and coaches) say they simply want their kids to give their best effort, but the questions they ask reveal otherwise. Did you win? Did you pass? What was the score? What grade did you get? These are questions that are focused on the outcome, not the process. They really have very little to do with giving the best effort. Kids can tell what their parents value based on the questions they ask.

Imagine for a moment that you receive a phone call from authorities explaining that there has been accident involving someone you love. Isn't the first thing that comes out of your mouth extremely important? Is everyone alright? How's the car? Both of these questions communicate your values and you had better get that right.

Listen to the questions you're asking and be sure they're the ones you want to ask. Think what is most important and ask questions that reflect your values, and ask a lot of questions.

Memorial Day Extended

I opened my inbox this morning to extended holiday sales. Banana Republic offered me 40% off a single item over the weekend and much to my surprise, they are recognizing the sale for one more day. Isn't it amazing how we extend the consumer opportunities of Memorial Day weekend, yet quickly move beyond the honor due to our fallen soldiers?

For as long as our society revels in sales and extended offers, I'm going to do my best to extend the real meaning of Memorial Day.

Almost 225,000 individuals lost their life during the American Civil War. 116,516 were killed in World War I from the US. 405,399 Americans were lost in World War II. Korea: over 36,000. In Vietnam, 58,209 died. 6,280 have been killed in Iraq and Afghanistan combined. According to Wikipedia, 1,343,812 American soldiers have paid the ultimate price for our freedom.

These numbers are difficult to comprehend. Attached to every single number is a family and a story. On Sunday, the keynote speaker presented the audience with the numbers above. Simultaneously, in the distance, a car alarm sounded for nearly five minutes. It was eerily ironic. Car alarms were significant decades ago. Now, as an alarm blares, we go about our daily business as if we weren't aware. In fact, we have conditioned our brains to shut out the sound of car alarms. These numbers have become like that car alarm. We tune out the sound and don't even look to see if anything harmful is taking place. Instead, on this day of honor and recognition, we take advantage of seasonal bargains at large retail chains.

Businesses have hi-jacked Memorial Day with deals and sales. Today, they attempted to extend their own glory into the work week. I'm taking it back for Memorial Day to honor those who deserve it.

The amount of honor you give is in relation to the amount of value you perceive. I value our servicemen. And you should, too. Everything is better when honor is there.

Thank you, Veterans.

The soldier who salutes the flag

An important tradition in my family is attending the Memorial Day service at the Greenwood Cemetery in River Falls. For as long as I can remember, I've sat in the same place under the same tall oak tree with my parents, grand parents and siblings. I might be mistaken, but I think this might actually be the 32nd consecutive year of my attendance. It was Isaiah's 4th.

Memorial Day is important to us because many of our relatives have served in the military. Both of my grandfathers were World War II veterans. Both have passed away and left a legacy of love for our country. Aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. have also faithfully served our country.

This American holiday has become many things. It marks the beginning of summer with a long weekend, picnics, great sales and other Memorial Day specials. Unfortunately, many of these annual celebrations have very little to do with what the holiday was intended to be.

After the American Civil War, Decoration Day was created to officially recognize the Union soldiers that fell during the Civil War. The term decoration day comes from the act of decorating graves with flowers, something my Grandma Audrey Black continues to do on this special day (and others). By the 20th century, this day had been used to honor all Americans who have died in all wars. It became a common celebration after World War II and the name was officially changed to "Memorial Day" in 1967. In 1968, Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, which moved four holidays, including Memorial Day, from their traditional dates to a specified Monday in order to create a convenient three-day weekend. The change moved Memorial Day from it's traditional May 30 date to the last Monday in May.

Aside from a powerful keynote speaker, the moment that caught my eye during today's ceremony was during the Croix Chordsmen choir compilation of hymns representing each branch of the military. Servicemen from each branch appropriately stood at attention when their song was played. About ten chairs occupied by veterans sat alone beneath the American flag in front of the stage. When "The Army Goes Rolling Along" was sung, all of them quickly rose to their feet, stood proudly with their chest puffed out, head held high and saluted the flag. All, except for one gentleman. This old man labored hard to rise to his feet and suddenly fell back into his chair. He did the best he could to scoot his 90+ year old body to the front of the chair and grab a hold of the one next to him. He put all of his effort into raising to his feet, as if his life depended on it. I could sense him rushing to do so while his song played. He made it to his feet for a moment before all of the men became seated in unison.

It was subtle, and I might be one of the only people who noticed, however, I saw a man who had put his life on the line for my freedom when he was young and able bodied maintain the same commitment to the United States of America despite being only a remnant of the man that he once was. I was humbled and moved because in that moment, it was clear to me that he would do it all again. That's what Memorial Day is about.

We've lost our way as a nation many times, however, those who protect our freedoms have not.

It is the Soldier, not the minister, who has given us freedom of religion.
It is The Soldier, not the reporter,who has given us freedom of the press.
It is The Soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech.
It is The Soldier, not the campus organizer, who has given us freedom to demonstrate.
It is The Soldier, not the lawyer, who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the Soldier, not the politician, who has given us the right to vote.
It is The Soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag and whose coffin is draped by the flag who allows the protester to burn the flag.

The Soldier by Charles M. Province

Reflecting

It's been far too long since I've logged onto this blog page and threw down my ideas. I've missed it. Writing has always been an outlet for me. I have a lot of things going on inside of my head and getting them out helps me keep my thoughts organized and reflect.

Yesterday I gave a presentation at River Falls Meyer Middle School. It was a part of the Everest Project, a character development program and lesson on setting goals. My presentation was called "The Preamble to Greatness." Humility turned into honor, unleashing our potential and staying on the right "path" is the summary of the 70 minute conversation. From my perspective, it was quite successful.

I went through my Power Point three times, once with each grade (6th, 7th and 8th) and allowed for questions at the end. A 7th grade Language Arts teacher asked me to talk about "reflecting." I told her that I'm constantly reflecting, analyzing and evaluating everything I do. Actually, as I reflect, I often notice that I over-analyze things or evaluate myself and what I'm doing too much and miss the opportunity to live in the moment or appreciate what has unfolded.

She brought up reflecting in front of her students because she was having difficulty getting some of the boys to take part in the activity when she allowed time in class and encouraged them to do so. As a male, I can identify. What we hear when someone asks us to sit down and reflect is that we have to share our feelings. Boys, especially teenagers, get a little squirmy when they have to tell others what is going on inside. Naturally, they can express themselves with various physical outlets, but frankly, they're scared to talk (or write) about their feelings. That's not a valid reason for them to excuse themselves from the reflective process.

The blogosphere has provided an outlet for many people and it's a fantastic option for boys who might be afraid to share their feelings. It's great because it leaves a mark and impacts others. What this 7th grade teacher inspired me to do is help the athletes at Victory begin to blog. I've been actively encouraging them journal for years (journaling is the masculine way to keep a diary). I've provided numerous materials that facilitate the reflective process. Sometimes, it's like pulling teeth, though.

Tomorrow I will begin a new project with our most committed athletes. I have no idea what to expect, but like most of my ideas, of course I'm optimistic about the potential. I know what being transparent, reflecting and sharing my thoughts has done for me as a man and I'm confident it will do the same for a handful of our athletes.

I'll keep you updated!

The clean-up phase

I'm in Colorado Springs at the US Olympic Training Center with a couple of my female athletes. We're in the final preparation stages leading into the US Olympic Team Trials. The Trials will take place in Iowa City, IA on April 21-22. All of the hard work is done and it's now time to get organized and take what we have into the most important event in the US since 2008.

This week is very light from a physical standpoint. The girls are tapering and honing their skills. It's too late to add anything and it's too close to push hard. This week is more of a "clean-up" phase. Essentially, the past 6-7 months of training have been a whirlwind and somewhat overwhelming, emotionally draining, mentally taxing and physically demanding. This week is about putting everything back together and in order.

I had a long conversation with one of my athletes two weeks ago and she expressed her frustrations with teammates, training, technique and almost everything associated with the sport. She felt like she was over-training and needed a break. I reassured her that all of this training is working out perfectly. I told her that the nature of her training and continued growth makes everything seem very "messy" right now. The analogy I used was that it's like her room is a mess, clothes are everywhere, she hasn't made her bed in months and now I'm coming with my vacuum cleaner and we're cleaning house: doing laundry, folding her clothes and putting them in the correct drawers (figuratively). We're going from disorder to order.

It's really not much different than a construction site. Before construction begins, the area is clean, orderly and functional. Once you "break ground," it gets a little messy. There is daily maintenance during a big job like sweeping and picking up tools, however, it's not until it's complete that you pull away the plastic and throw away the masking tape that was around the windows. The same is true now for those competing in the Trials. We have to get rid of the plastic, throw some things out and take inventory of all of our tools. We're taking a finished product to Iowa.

This is a big moment for these women. The next two weeks are extremely delicate and crucial. It's two weeks for the rest of their lives. They're feeling the weight of the pressure. If it's all done correctly, the pressure will help them rather than hinder them. Olympic Gold Medalist Scott Hamilton said, "Under pressure you can perform fifteen percent better or worse." To perform best, we need to maintain a healthy perspective and enjoy the process.

The probability of achieving the outcome you want increases when you let go of the need for it.

To be the best, you have to...

To be the best, you have to believe you're the best and do your best when it matters the most taking advantage of the opportunities before you. The opportunity of a lifetime must be seized in the lifetime of the opportunity. Mental fortitude and timing are essential.

"To be the best, you have to beat the best" is one of the most overused cliches in sports. I doubt those who become the best for any duration of time actually use this mantra. To be the best, you might never have to face the "best." The best focus on controlling what they can control. You cannot control who you compete against and you cannot control being labeled the obscure label of the best. You can control your attitude and effort, though. Externally focusing on the process and remaining positive rather than fixating on the outcome is the first step to unleashing your potential. Strive first to be your best and do your best.

It all sounds a little New Age, doesn't it? Like the person who says winning isn't important is probably the guy who is losing regularly, right? Make no mistake, winning is important and focusing on it helps fuel the desire to be the best. However, if the outcome supersedes the process, disappointment is almost sure to follow against the stiffest competition.

Every year I watch the final day of The Masters on television. Actually, I watch as much of the tournament as I can starting with the par-3 challenge on Wednesday. In recent years, the "best" golfer didn't win the tournament if world ranking and earnings are our measuring stick. Previous success is not much of an indicator, either. The winner is the individual who plays the best golf on Sunday when all the chips are on the table. The past 14 major championships have been won by 14 different golfers. 11 of the last 12 are first time major tournament winners. This year's Masters winner, Bubba Watson, played great on his way back to the clubhouse and stole a green jacket. When it came down to it, he had to beat Louie Oosthuizen - hardly the "best" golfer in the world - in a sudden death shoot out. Both are great talents, but not in the conversation of the best golfers on the planet, yet. Watson didn't have to beat the best, he had to play his best when it mattered most and believe he was capable of winning. It was a battle within himself - maintaining composure, focusing on the next shot and not allowing outside distractions to get the best of him. Sure, he finished ahead of the top golfers in the world, however, it wasn't about beating the best. It was all about him being his best.

Being the best and winning are not synonymous, so it's not about beating a specific opponent. You can be the best and not win or win and not be the best. Additionally, you can win without being your best and you can be your best and still not win. It's the nature of sports and one of the most important elements of it. It's why they play the games. if it was about beating the best, we wouldn't be captivated by people like Bubba Watson.

In the wrestling world, this cliche gets hammered because it's an individual sport. Henry Cejudo won an Olympic Gold Medal in 2008 and was not the best wrestler in his weight class. They don't give gold medals for the best, they award the individual who beats all of the opponents he faces. Cejudo won four matches and didn't have to beat Besik Kudokhov. Kudokhov is arguably the best pound-for-pound wrestler in the world today. He has been king of his weight class every single day since 2006 except for that one day Cejudo put everything together at the most optimal time. Cejudo has never defeated Kudokhov, yet he has a gold medal and Kudokhov doesn't. Kudokhov has five world gold medals, though. Truth be told, Cejudo was never close to beating Kudokhov. In Beijing in 2008, that wasn't the objective, though, was it? Cejudo controlled what was within his control. If he had to beat the best to be the best, there would have been another match following the championship finals. Beat the opponent in front of you and seize the opportunity when it's there.

On the flip side, I went to Russia in 2005 to seek out one competitor - Alan Dudaev. He was the reigning world champion at my weight class. I remembered the cliche to be the best you have to beat the best. In a friendly dual meet in Vladikavkaz, I beat Dudaev 0-3, 1-0, 1-1 in a match that was meaningless to him. I have a healthy perspective on that match today. Dudaev was fresh off a world gold medal and was in the middle of technical phase in his training schedule. He focused on one skill during our match (and scored 3 points on it in the first period). I caught on to his tactics and stayed away from it and he was unsuccessful the final two minutes. I scored in the clinch and on a push-out. That situation did not make me the best even though I "beat" the best (don't try to take that away from me...).

To be the best, you don't have to beat the best. You have to believe you're the best and take advantage of the opportunities that are in front of you while controlling only what you can control.

Who do you say Jesus is?

I had a quick thought in church today. People develop opinions of individuals based on what they hear from others or what someone looks like. It's common place to draw conclusions on the character of an individual based on how they dress. At our core, we know it's wrong and still find ourselves and others doing it. Our culture and society have basically discredited this kind of behavior, right? People are encouraged and taught to look inside each person and know them for who they are. Except when it comes to Jesus.

I know many people who have drawn their conclusions and opinions of Jesus based on what others say and think. In fact, it goes a step further with Jesus, and people somehow are given a pass to make-up whatever they'd like to about him. Their opinions of who Jesus is are all over the map and much of them created to fit one's way of life, thought process or desires. They're not based on who he actually is.

I naturally formulate opinions about every single person I meet - usually before I even hear them speak. I dislike this about myself. If you're anything like me, it happens regardless if we want it to or not. However, I actively strive to remain open minded and let the individual tell me who they are. You know, don't judge a book by its cover... Our culture might stereotype people, but it also puts pressure on us to get to know the individual. Except when it comes to Jesus.

I've met many people who are content and satisfied with the presumptions of Jesus. They develop an opinion and stubbornly stick to it and refuse to get to know him. In everyday life, is it alright for me assume I know everything about another person because someone else told me about him/her? Absolutely not! Then, why does our society permit - and even encourage - us to think whatever we'd like to about Jesus? It seems like a double standard.

Who YOU say Jesus is is the most important answer you'll ever have to give in this lifetime. In Mark 8:29: "'But what about you?' He asked. 'Who do you say I am?' Peter answered, 'You are the Christ.'" Jesus asked Peter who he thought he was. He didn't ask Peter who his parents thought he was. Or what his friends thought. Or what his teacher, professor and even pastor thought. Some of us are basing our faith on the faith (or no faith) of others. "Who you say I am?" He asked.

He asks everyone this most important question. Getting the answer correct on this one is too important to ignore or to take someones word for. Each of us must get to know Jesus for who he is if we're going to accurately formulate opinions about him. As humans, don't we owe that everyone? I think so. And even more when it comes to Jesus.

I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept his claim to be God." That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a good moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic-on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg-or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronising nonsense about His being a great moral teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to. - C.S. Lewis 'Mere Christianity'

The bright shiny light of the moon

Last night I saw Jupiter and Venus in the Western sky. They were each extraordinarily bright and close to one another. I love looking at the night sky because the vast universe becomes visible. Radiant stars that are millions of miles away can be seen by the naked eye. I like the reminder than I'm just a tiny, insignificant speck in God's creation. And He still knows my name. Humbling.

I was awe struck on Monday night, as well. I was in my car near Lake Superior and the moon seemed to be brighter than I had ever seen before. It was overcast and the clouds swirled around the bright shining moon and periodically it would break through the clouds and light up the night sky as if it was daylight. During those moments, I'm certain I could have driven without headlights. It was bright and the world's greatest optical illusion made the moon seem to be within driving distance. At approximately 250,000 miles away, it appeared closer than home.

I like to talk about the bright shiny light of the moon, except the moon actually doesn't give of any light of it's own at all. It's a giant rock. Instead, it reflects the light of the sun like a giant mirror. Without the sun, we'd never see the moon. Left to its own device, it would have a very small impact on our lives and we'd probably be unaware of its existence all together. It's the only natural satellite of the Earth and it's gravitational influence produces the ocean tides, however, that's hardly the stuff of ancient mythology, calendars, etc. The mystique of the moon comes from how bright it is in the night sky and the sole reason we're able to see it is because it reflects the sun's light.

I like how this idea of the moon can be applied directly to our lives. On our own, we're less than impressive. Sure, in our own little circle we might have clout, position or prestige, but in the grand scheme of things...we're about as bright and shiny as a rock. That is until we allow our lives to reflect the light of God. It is then that we actually make a difference and have an impact on humanity that can contribute to an eternity. When our lives become a reflection of God, people take notice. Others become fully aware of our existence. It doesn't happen because of who we are, though. I happens because of who God is and what He can do in us and through us. People might enjoy the extraordinary happenings in our lives and be impressed, but all credit is God's. He's the light and we're just a reflection.

Oh, and if you look to the Western sky tonight or tomorrow night, you'll see Jupiter and Venus reflecting the light of the Sun, too.

Let your light shine brightly because it's a reflection of who God is. God's character in our lives cannot be hidden.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." - Matthew 5:14-15

Be choosy about choosing

Last weekend I spent some time with my friend and colleague Shane Sparks. We rapped about how frustrated we get when wrestlers don't take advantage of the opportunity to make a choice. On our broadcast, we talked specifically about choosing to defer after the first period and choosing down because "that's just what you do." Together, we expressed our frustrations with this and are on a mission to get the word out. I suppose there are far more noble topics to bring to the masses, however, there is something profound here, too.

I travel around the state and talk to coaches about a variety of topics. Often times, I hear coaches explain how part of their purpose as a coach is to help athletes learn how to make decisions. It's a great outlook and I'm motivated to do the same. This is why I'm bothered so much by some of those same coaches missing on the potential teachable moments that come from choosing between periods.

In the sport of wrestling, between the first and second periods, one individual is given "choice." He can choose top, bottom, neutral (both on the feet) or defer the choice to his opponent and get choice in the third period. Between the second and third period, the other athlete has choice of top, bottom or neutral. You know the phrase, you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink, right? Well, if the horse is dying of thirst, it's nearly a guarantee that if you lead him to water, he will drink. It undermines the idea of it being a choice. Similarly, if you give an unsure-about-himself teenager the choice to let someone else choose for him, he likely will because he fears responsibility. So, he defers, naturally. Unfortunately, letting others make choices for you often comes with consequences - sometimes big, sometimes small. I'm all for deferring the choice to your opponent if it gives you a strategic advantage. I'm not in favor of deferring the choice by default, though. There isn't much in life that results in good after you defer (think: deferring on your taxes, etc.)

Empowering individuals to make wise choices has the potential to teach young men about responsibility and accountability. Avoiding responsibility (letting others choose for you) can prolong the development of becoming a man. I know, it sounds like I'm blowing everything out of proportion, and maybe I am. However, between periods is the only time in a wrestling that the official stops the action and asks the individual to make a choice...so choose wisely.

Within this same category is the unfortunate phenomenon of choosing "down" without carefully considering if it's the best choice. I try to engage coaches in this conversation and often times I hear responses like this: "you have to be able to get away if you're going to win," "he needs to learn to get away," "we always go down; to get our one," etc., etc. All of these statements lack logic. First of all, you don't have to be able to get away to win. That's just not true unless you're in the final overtime. If he needs to learn to get away, teach him in practice. And always going down is stubbornly stupid. Individuals are empowered in decision making when they see positive results from their choice. Why choose to put someone where they're not good or sure to fail? If your answer is because you always do, that's simply foolish.

As a coach, my responsibility to athletes should be about helping them manage their choices and eventually empowering them to choose wisely on their own. Shame on the coaches who fail to see the opportunity to teach their athletes about responsibility in this category. The impact of the shortsighted decisions they make on behalf of their athletes is appalling. Be choosy about choosing. Every time you have the opportunity to actually choose, no matter how big or small, choose wisely. Make educated and informed decisions.

Wrestling and the Academy Awards

The objective of the Academy Awards is to recognize every aspect of the film industry. As movie goers, we only see a small percentage of the work required for two hours of suspended belief and entertainment. The Academy presents Oscars in categories that seem obscure to those outside the industry like visual effects, sound editing, etc. These are essential to the completion of the movie and the Academy wants to honor the behind the scenes work, too.

Most movies take well over a year to complete. Hundreds of people and thousands of hours are a part of the pain staking process to release a film. The winner of Best Picture always wins a few awards in the other less known categories like musical score and art direction, as was the case with “The Artist” this year (it also nabbed best actor and best director).

At the high school state wrestling tournament, we see only the finished product. We’re privileged to see on display great athletes for a few precious minutes while many hours and years have gone into making them a reality. What happens behind the scenes is what makes that moment possible for these athletes. The quality of the finished product is a result of years of preparation and an abundance of support long before the end is even in sight. Behind the finished product of most of the best athletes are categories like best work ethic, best coach, best original or adapted plan. Often times, those that win the prestigious award of state champion also take home awards in other categories like best work ethic, best original or adapted plan or even best coach. Similar to the film that wins best picture, winning the top award is almost always accompanied by other awards.

Unfortunately, the finished product also reveals holes in the preparation process. We’ve all seen movies that are less than desirable in a number of areas. The DaVinci Code, for example, was one of the best books written in the past decade, but the movie was average. It had a terrific cast and financial support, but the “adapted screen play” lacked the creativity to win any Academy Awards. We’ve also seen movies win awards in those obscure categories and miss out on the bigger, more recognizable awards. Such is the case with athletes and the state tournament. An athlete might win best work ethic and fall short of the biggest award. You don’t get to win best picture if you lack quality directing or editing just like you don’t win a state title if you lack work ethic and basic skills. A movie can make a lot of money and generate popularity and not be a good movie. When it comes to winning those prestigious awards, however, the quality of work behind the scenes is revealed and nearly 100% of the time the awards go to those who deserve them. The same is true on Saturday night in the Kohl Center. Those who win the state championship deserve it and have earned it with their behind the scenes work.

Fans might be surprised by outcomes on several occasions, however, it’s never a surprise to those associated with these winning athletes because they witness the behind the scenes work. Metaphorically, these young men had already earned other more obscure awards that led to the climax of the awards presentation.

When I finish watching a movie, I sit through the credits. I don’t do it because I’m looking for anyone or anything specific. In fact, I usually don’t know what I’m looking at. I do it out of respect for those who put in the years of work so I could suspend reality for two hours. I do it on principle. I sit for the extra six minutes because it reminds me that the finished product doesn’t happen by accident.