US Open - Day 5

Day 5 is the final day of the US Open.  Unfortunately, we don’t have anyone competing today.  Our boys battled hard yesterday, though.  We’re quite pleased with how they wrestled and are excited to get back to work and prepare for the next thing.  They learned a lot about wrestling at a high level and learned about themselves and each other.  

 

I’d say the trip was a success.  We’re already planning ahead for next year and thinking about what our group will look like next year.  We had one senior woman, two high school girls, three U15 boys, three U17 boys, and three U20 boys in our crew this week.  All of them won at least one match.  They’ll all come back and share their experience with teammates and likely motivate several others to take the challenge next year.  As soon as the date, location, and schedule are released, we’ll begin making arrangements.

 

This was an important seed planted in the wrestling careers of those that came this year.  Now they need to continue to water the seed and let it grow.  That’s how development happens in our sport.

 

Viva Las Vegas!

US Open - Day 4

We’re back on the mat in Las Vegas with our U17 and U20 athletes.  This is Day 4 of the tournament.  Days kind of start to run together by this time.  People who have been here know what I mean.  The same is usually true in Fargo.  The schedule is helpful, and we print things out for our wrestlers, but all we really know is that we need to get to the venue in the morning and then just make sure our text alerts for mat assignments are working.  Once the matches begin, it’s a whirlwind.

 

Last night our boys had the chance to watch some very good senior men’s freestyle matches.  It was a privilege for them.  We love watching things on Flowrestling, ESPN, or breaking things down on Instagram or YouTube.  But to be matside watching some of these superstars is a game changer for a high school kid.

 

Wrestlers who seem larger than life on TV are the same size as we are.  They might look like superheroes in costumes on the screen, but they wear normal clothes from regular stores (mostly Rudis or Lululemon).  It’s great for our kids to be able to humanize a few of them.  This is one of the many positive things that come from participating in an event like this.

 

We’re excited for these guys to wrestle today because they’ve invested a little bit extra each week leading up to this.  All of our kids wrestling freestyle this spring are taking steps outside of their regular high school or middle school seasons to get better – doing the extra.  But we made sure to provide extra opportunities beyond the extra so these guys took things seriously here in Vegas.  I think they’ll have something to show today for the hard work they’ve done and it will be a great push for our club.

US Open - Day 3

Day 3 is set to begin in Las Vegas as the Men’s Freestyle division takes over the arena.  Our crew is in the spectator role today and not all by choice.

 

I was fortunate to wake up early enough to watch the sun rise this morning.  After the way some performed yesterday, I didn’t know for sure if it would. 😉

 

Wrestling tournaments are great in so many ways.  I love wrestling and I love competition, that goes without saying.  I love to win, and I also love the pursuit of trying to improve so that winning can become a reality.  For me, this is as true as a coach as it was as an athlete, even if it looks different.  However, sport kicks you in the face without warning sometimes and you end up experiencing almost everything except winning.  Then what?  How you make sense of those experiences and learn and grow from them is a major component of why we do what we do.

 

Spoken like someone who didn’t experience many wins yesterday, huh?

 

One of my heroes in sport and life is Olympic Gold Medalist Ben Peterson.  He once said, “always compete, and when you can, win.”  I love the simplicity of the saying because it captures the true competitive nature inside the world’s best winners.  Winning happens a lot more for those who are relentless competitors.

 

What’s the difference between wanting to compete and wanting to win?

 

That’s an important question for athletes to come to grips with.  We often talk about “surrendering the outcome” to bring freedom to the competitive experience.  Compete hard and with great intention and purpose without attaching yourself to the outcome.  But what does it mean to compete?

 

To compete is to give yourself entirely to a moment in time and to scratch and claw and grit your teeth while trying to be your best and do your best.  To implement strategy and hustle while avoiding going through the motions.  To engage all senses and pull out an intensity that is paired with a controlled aggression that expressing a willingness to stress and strain and do whatever it takes to succeed, which is never as simple as a desired outcome.  It’s to leave it all on the mat each time you step foot inside the circle and consistently find more to leave on the mat all over again.  To fight for your right to…fill in the blank (thank you Beastie Boys).

 

How do you access that ideal competitive state?  The Zone.  That’s the takeaway from Day 2.  Wow, do we ever need to learn how to compete.  

Can we do that?  Can you do that?

2025 US Open - Day 2

It’s early morning in Las Vegas and we’re waiting for weigh-ins to begin at Day 2 of the US Open.  Today we have an athlete competing in the Senior Women's division (Alisha Howk) and one in the Girl’s High School Showcase.  Esperanza Calvillo wrestled seven times yesterday and will try for 5^th place this afternoon.

 

This quite the event! 

 

You can probably imagine being that it’s in Las Vegas.  The competition venue is in “Downtown Las Vegas.”  Some people call it Old Vegas; it’s about 2 miles from the world famous “Strip.”  Neon lights are everywhere, and nighttime feels like daytime because the streets are so bright.

 

Our crew is staying at The Strat Hotel.  That’s the one with giant space needle.  It’s actually the highest point in Las Vegas.  It’s a short drive from the venue and at the Northern tip of The Strip.

 

Our U15 athletes will weigh-in this afternoon and will be ready to compete tomorrow morning.  There are 32 mats in the convention center.  4 of them are on the raised stage and surrounded by bleachers.  It sounds chaotic, but it’s very efficient.  The mats are sort of sectioned off and age groups wrestle in one chunk throughout the day.  With over 4,500 participants from youth to veterans, including the top senior level athletes, this one of USA Wrestling’s top events.

 

As a club, we’ve been discussing ideas on how to make this tournament a staple in the lives of our young athletes.  It’s difficult to organize because it’s during school.  For our high school athletes, we’ve always emphasized Fargo in the Summer, and will continue to do so, however, this tournament is fresh on our radar and something we need to prioritize moving forward as part of the preparation for Fargo (and future high school success).

 

Spending time at an event like gets the wheels spinning.  Seeing the top wrestlers in the country hone in on their craft is inspiring.  It also forces you to look in the mirror and consider your own level of commitment, goals and process.  We hope this week re-energizes our wrestlers and is a catalyst for dreaming bigger dreams and striving for even more.

A human being, even as we are: reflection of the 2020 Olympic Games

The Olympic Games are the biggest arena for individual heroism in sports.  My heart strings are tugged every time I witness greatness on a grand scale and there is no shortage of such things at the Games.  

There are so many things that go through my mind when I watch the Olympics.  I think about what it must have taken for each athlete to get to this point in their career.  So much has been invested.  So many things have been sacrificed.  Their dedication and commitment is evident and they've inevitably been "overcomers" in order to possess the mental fortitude on display.

All of this makes the Olympic Games seem like something in our imaginations.  Like it's not real and, most definitely, not attainable or a viable option for those watching from home.

Except, it is.  It's both real and attainable.

The curious fact is that these athletes are just ordinary people who do extraordinary things.  They go above and beyond expectation in many areas and they follow a strict training plan that fully integrates every nuance of their lives, however, they all have insecurities and fears.  They embrace struggle and strain in order to experience triumphant victories.  They're just people.  

"Elijah was a human being, even as we are."  These words from the book of James (5:17) had a tremendous impact on me the first time I read them.  Elijah was an Old Testament prophet and miracle worker.  By all standards, he was really big deal, except James said he was just a regular guy.  Those heroes of faith in the Bible, similar to the greatest of Olympians, were simply men and women just like you and me.

This gives me great hope and a sense of freedom to go for my goals, as well as encourage and inspire my athletes to pursue theirs.  Maybe it does the same for you.  However, I also get scared to think about this because it calls us out.  If not me, then who?  If not you, then who?

The Olympic Games are the place where regular people transcend the human existence and become larger than life, and for a moment in time lift the rest of us up to a better place.

Citius, Altius, Fortius.  Swifter, Higher, Stronger.  This is the credo.

Still, they're ordinary people.  That's what I like best.  There is an incredible amount of commitment and dedication, tremendous accolades and records, but there's also a lot of regular.  That seems tangible.  We can understand this.

I love it when ordinary people do unexpected things.  It helps me to believe that no matter how unremarkable I may feel, God can do something extraordinary with me.  There are some common "ingredients" that we would do well to deposit into our pursuits if we desire to live the life of an Olympian, possibly becoming one in 2024 or beyond: 

• Grit - Passion + Perseverance 
• A clear vision - eyes on the prize and in clear view
• Freedom - exactly who you were created to be; use the freedom to be/do more, not less
• Integrity - connecting all of the dots and unifying all aspects of your life into the vision and purpose

We hosted a camp last week during the Olympic Games with several athletes who have real Olympic dreams.  We watched every wrestling match, picking apart the words mentioned above and understanding that this all requires a deep sense of purpose, sincere meekness, and bold courage, as well. 

There's noting inherently "special" about the athletes we watch in the Olympics.  They're just people like you and me.  There's no magic pill, special technique, talent, or luck that put them onto the biggest stage.  Their stories always include a ton of little things added up over time.  The Olympics demonstrate that success is about development and maturity through the process.  You can make the changes to commit to that.

You're just a regular person.  Now, go and do extraordinary things.  The changes God wants to see in our lives happens from within.  He's not trying to put something inside of us; He wants to pull something out of us.  

"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, the Lord looks at the heart." - 1 Samuel 16:7

Finite Games vs. Infinite Games

Simon Sirek rose to popularity in the business world with his TED Talk "How Great Leaders Inspire Action" based on his book Start With Why.  It transformed leadership across the world, including the sports world, starting with that central question: what's your why?  He followed it up by becoming one of the greatest motivational speakers in the world and writing his second book Leaders Eat Last.  

His most recent release is The Infinite Game.  He uses "game theory" as a way to describe impactful and long-term success in life, business, and elsewhere.

A finite game is defined as known players, fixed rules, and an agreed-upon objective.  Once the objective is reached, the game ends.  Most board games and sports operate this way.

An infinite game is defined as known and unknown players, the rules are changeable, and the objective is to perpetuate the game.  The goal of the game is to play in a way that allows you to keep playing.

When you pit a finite player against a finite player, the system is stable.  Baseball, for example, is stable. When you pit an infinite player versus an infinite player, the system is also stable.  The Cold War was stable because in an infinite game there are no winners or losers.  You cannot lose the game, so we work to keep the game in play.  

It's important to be clear on which type of game you are playing.  If you're in an infinite game and trying to win, you won't succeed, because there are no winners and losers.  In a finite game, you cannot do as you please because you'll get passed up (and lose).

In real life, the games we play are mostly infinite games.  Things like relationships, our health, education and most businesses.  However, much of the language we use in these areas is about competition, winning, being the best, being number one, etc.  How can you be number one when the standards aren't clearly defined?  So, we should be striving to build things that last rather than just trying to win.

Don't misunderstand this concept.  I love to win.  And winning is important, but only when score is kept and the outcome is clearly defined.  

In the wrestling room, learning new skills, understanding positions, etc. are infinite games.  

Live combat, matches, etc. are finite games.  

It's critical that we understand the difference and both partners are on the same page.  We grow frustrated quickly when trying to learn a new skill and our partner fights everything.  The same can be said when we have a very clear 6-minute live go and a wrestler stops to ask questions about a position.  As a coach, I need to be crystal clear about what type of "game" we're playing at all times.  While learning a skill, our partner needs to provide the pressure that leads to success instead of fighting back.  During a live go, a wrestler must hold their thought until the whistle blows before asking that question.  Practices go much smoother and more efficient when the players are all playing the same game.

For us, "play wrestling" and "sparring" are infinite games.  There's no score kept, so no one can win or lose.  The goal is, in fact, to keep wrestling and learn in new positions.  This can take the pressure off that athlete with a fixed mindset (see yesterday's post).  There should be no coaching or instruction during these times unless it's wrestler directed - innovate, create, take risks and keep wrestling.  

"Live" wrestling is straight forward: all wrestling rules apply and there is a clear winner and loser.  It's no hold's barred.  It's not a time to innovate or create if it's causing problems.  Implement sound strategy and tactics and stay on task.  Coaches should wield their whistle and voice their opinions to help motivate the correct attitudes.

Sirek didn't write Infinite Game with wrestling in mind, however, much of game theory can applied to our sport and how we train.  Success in operating a business with an infinite game mindset is to create longevity by drawing people into a just cause with a big vision of the future, treating others with respect and resting in the strength of leadership.  This also defines a successful wrestling program.

The Growth Mindset Thrives on Challenges

The Growth Mindset thrives on challenges.  This is critically important for the athlete who is willing to push beyond their comfort zone in order to be the best that he/she can be.  They know that failure is doesn't define them, so they're free to give it their all.  In fact, the outcome is secondary to the process when development is on the line.

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success is the result of the brilliant work by Carol Dweck.  She's a psychologist and researcher from Stanford and tackled the subject of belief systems, specifically how our beliefs, both conscious and unconscious, impact nearly all aspects of our lives.

I first heard about Mindset from a friend of mine who was a school administrator.  His team had read and discussed the book over that summer and he told me it was a complete game changer for him and his staff.  He shared a few revelations and I was hooked, so I bought the book on Amazon.  He was right, it's truly a game changer.

Because of this book, I've allowed small changes to positively impact my belief systems and how I see  myself and my role as a coach.  It's helped our athletes move in the direction of a growth mindset in order to maximize their development.  

I chose Mindset for my first post because I'm already very familiar with it.  On Blinkist, it's a quick listen that I enjoy from time to time.

The opposite of a growth mindset is a fixed mindset.  Our mindset is created at a very young age (and can change over time).  A fixed mindset assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are "fixed" and cannot be changed in any meaningful way and success comes as a result of those fixed qualities.  You either have "it" or you don't.  They believe talent is king and will only do the things that they're naturally gifted at.  The problem: talent doesn't always receive training.

The growth mindset believes that growth and development is possible and that individual will push their growth potential.  There's really no telling how how the ceiling is for an athlete with a growth mindset while a fixed mindset places a lid on growth potential because a fixed minded individual needs to protect their reputation or status quo.  

The fixed mindset seeks approval.  A growth mindset seeks development.

To the fixed mindset, failure is disaster.  With a growth mindset, it's an opportunity to grow.

Fixed mindsets avoid difficulties, growth mindsets relish them.

Dweck explains that we adapt our mindset from our roll models.  Parents often instill a certain mindset into their children by the time they turn three years old.  It's revealed in how small children play and solve problems.  The fixed mindset believes things are unchangeable and the growth mindset tries new ways.

I watch this play out in the wrestling room and I can quickly identify which mindset an athlete is working with.  What's unique is it can go back and forth, which makes it important for us as coaches to fan the flames of the growth mindset and squash the desires to resort back into a fixed mindset.

For example, when development is taking place and we're focused on an opportunity for growth (aka, a "weakness"...notice the language choice...), it's important that we don't emphasize the outcome.  Rather, we want to get submersed in the process and learn in the middle of those hardships or unfamiliar positions.  We encourage taking risks, being vulnerable and celebrate creativity and experimentation.  Sometimes we have to resist the urge to score/finish in hopes of improving in the process.  Often times, a growth mindset responds well to a practice scenario like this, but a fixed mindset struggles and wants to get to the end.  In fact, the fixed mindset will sometimes take short cuts to finish the hold or win the position or even abandon the objective of the drill entirely just to "win" and protect their reputation.

It's tricky because many times the one who has been to the top quickest (matured sooner, elite sooner, etc.) develops a fixed mindset completely on accident.  They win early and part of their identity is attached to early success because they heard from many other how great they are.  They have to protect what others have said and don't want to let down others with expectations or opinions (seeking approval of others).  It creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over.

I've seen a lot of successful athletes who believe they need to prove themselves during practice because every situation calls for a confirmation of their talent, reputation, personality, or character.  Every situation is evaluated:  Will I succeed or fail?  Will I look good or bad?  Will I be accepted or rejected?

Unfortunately for the athlete with the fixed mindset, we don't really provide the confirmation he/she is looking for.  Instead, we champion vulnerability, risk taking and the beauty of being comfortable with the uncomfortable.  We demand progress in the process and protecting a reputation or an opinion of one's self isn't a recipe for growth, development and sustained success. 

People with a fixed mindset obstruct their own development through their belief in innate talent and their fear of failure.  On the contrary, people with a growth mindset work hard and train hard to ultimately realize their potential to the fullest.  By confronting our own attitudes and ideas, we can develop a growth mindset.