Does Fantasy Football really matter?

Tonight I will be attending a Fantasy Football draft "party." I don't know if the word party is the best noun available for what we'll be doing tonight. Neither is celebration or bash. It's more of a social gathering - like male bonding - but no one would dare call it that.

I'm actually kind of excited about playing Fantasy Football this year. I've played in the past and it's never turned out well for me. I'm too much of a homer and I draft players with my heart, not with my mind, which is I why I'm adamantly trying to trade-up to have the first pick in the draft so I can take Aaron Rodgers. I'm sure Rodgers will be available in my original #7 position, but I can't stand the anticipation in knowing that he could be someone else's team. I probably will lose all interest in this league if Rodgers isn't on my team. My best guess right now is that I'll have 4-5 Packers players on my roster, meaning I probably won't win this league because I'm too loyal. What's a Packers fan to do, though? It's my cross to bare cheering for the green and gold and I wouldn't have it any other way. Those who cheer for other teams can't identify. Only Packers fans understand.

The media has done a very good job marketing Fantasy Football. ESPN has programs devoted to it. Magazines, books and websites are created only for Fantasy Football. It's really very ridiculous if you think about, but at the same time, it's not. Human beings' souls crave for community and men are not exempt. Somehow, our culture has decided that it's macho or manly when a man avoids community, fellowship or commitment. I don't understand why. I think it has something to do with our society telling guys that they need to be consumers to be "men" (drink a lot of beer, sleep with a lot of women, drive cool cars and trucks, take as much as you can and stake your claim), but to be a man we need to be contributors.

If Fantasy Football was called Fellowship Football or Friendship Football, no one would sign-up to play. Call it Fantasy and it becomes the land of make believe. Every man has fantasies, right? This time, the real fantasy actually isn't a fantasy at all, it's fact. Obviously, the whole coaching a make believe team is not real, but the fact that men crave fellowship and community is the single reason it has turned into such a large market in this country.

So, fittingly enough, I'll be going to our church for our Draft Party. We'll eat wings and pizza (duh, of course we will) and talk about a football fantasy world, but we will also be bonding and building meaningful friendships...don't tell anyone.

Stayin' busy?

"Are you stayin' busy?" This seems to be the most frequent question I receive from individuals who inquire about my involvement at Victory School of Wrestling. Many of them follow up this question with something along the lines of, "well, as long as you're staying busy..." or "all you can ask for is to be busy..." as if being busy is a good thing. In their eyes, being busy means that you're successful, but not in mine. I don't want to be busy, I want to be productive.

This mindset reveals a lot about the condition of our society and the culture of youth sports - in our case, youth wrestling. The busier we seem to be, the more successful we think we are. This couldn't be further from the truth. Parents sometimes believe that if their son/daughter practices more, they'll win more. Wrestle in more tournaments, in more states, and your son/daughter will have a bright future. Wrong, again.

Our young athletes are participating in sports and living their lives at an unsustainable pace. We call it normal to place children in positions with an abundance of stress and pressure. It's normal for a youth wrestler to compete in far more competitions than our top collegiate athletes. Kids have schedules that are over committing themselves to things that don't matter while sacrificing time for things that do matter. There is very little margin for error in the most important areas in the lives of young athletes.

Young athletes today fill their lives with things that don't matter, making the small things supreme things, like they never have before. I don't think it's as much their fault as it is their parents, though. There are so many opportunities for kids to become the best today (never mind the future), but there's no time for character or spiritual development.

Kids are quitting youth sports at alarming rates because they have no margin in their lives (I can't say that I blame them). Fun is replaced with expectations and pressure to succeed and development is replaced with immediate gratification.

Margin is the difference between our "load" and our "capacity." It's the amount available beyond what is necessary; the difference between what you have and what you need. It's enjoying what you're doing. It's having the emotional capacity to deal with problems when they come up. It's having a few nights a week with nothing on your schedule. It's extra time to invest in others; time to think, reflect, meditate or dream. It's being able to spend significant time with God. Margin is what most of us don't have because we're simply too busy. The irony is that the most significant things in life happen in the margin. It is time to fight against the pull of culture (see Ephesians 5:15-17 below).

Andy Stanley wrote a book called The Best Question Ever and he said the best question we can ask ourselves when we're making a decisions is, "is it wise?" Not is it right or do I have time or what is everyone else doing, but in light of future hopes and dreams, is it wise? Before you make a decision to add another practice, event or competition to yours or your child's schedule, do you ask if it's wise?

By possessing a "production mindset," we often miss the moment. We feel like if we don't have something on the schedule, then we're being unproductive or missing out on something that will push us to the next level or even provide a sense of fulfillment. We believe we have to be busy, but busy doesn't equal productivity. Busy doesn't mean important. Busy isn't meaningful. Just because you have time to do something doesn't mean you should.

We must learn, in courage and faith, to say "no" to many good things so that we can say "yes" to the best things. Too many good things quickly become the enemy of the best things. Is it wise? Do you (and your children) have time in your life for what really matters? Do you have margin? Don't let anyone else talk you out of what's most important.

Be very careful, then, how you live your life - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. - Ephesians 5:15-17

Some of the content above is taken from the series "Margin" by Craig Groeschel of LifeChurch.tv.

My version of coaching wrestling

The more wrestling opportunities that I'm a part of, the more I realize that the way I coach is different than most wrestling coaches. My personality is constructed in a way that encourages me to challenge the process. I'm confused by this at times because I fit into society very well and have friends and look "normal," but I'm quite different than most people I meet or associate with.

Everything I do in the sport of wrestling is carefully thought of in advance and done intentionally. This alone puts me in a different catergory than most wrestling coaches. I'm not one for doing things the way they've always been done just because they've always been done that way. I enjoy tradition, but I also like to know that I'm doing what is best in every situation. I like to ask why we do the things we do and often times I find that the traditional way of coaching wrestling is not the best way to do it.

Generally speaking, most coaches teach moves; I teach principles. Most coaches try to show athletes how to score points; I focus on controlling and winning positions. There are hundreds of matches taking place within every single wrestling match. I want my athletes to focus on the small "causes" that lead to successful "effects." Wrestling should be approached in a systematic way with small attacks that eventually may or may not lead to an opportunity for a committed attack (e.g., a "shot").

As a culture, wrestling is very bad at applying the scientific method. I enjoy formulating theories within the sport and testing them. If they don't work, I'm quick to try something else. If there are unique correlations, I build on them and continue asking why and formulating more theories that can be tested. For example, I notice that a very large percentage of state champions can successfully execute a round-off to a back flip (tuck or layout). So, I begin to wonder if teaching a round-off to a back flip is more valuable than teaching and arm bar. It's an idea to think about.

Something else that I notice and take initiative to change with my athletes is the lack of attention to the "easy work." As wrestlers, we understand hard work. We lead the sports world with being able to push ourselves hard, but we're not very good at doing easy work. We don't take enough time to stretch properly after practice because it will cut into our live wrestling opportunities. We don't take the time to drill positions well because it cuts into wrestling hard. I could go on and on with this one.

Wrestling coaches continuously watch the wrestlers around them instead of those above them. I choose to watch and study the highest levels of international wrestling and teach my youngest athletes the skills that work there. Our minds are lazy and will not expand if we don't look ahead. I'm shocked by how many youth coaches and high school coaches don't know who represented the US in the Olympics in 2008, or worse yet, even what styles are competed in the Olympics. I talk to middle school girl's basketball coaches and they know everything about the most recent Dream Team, but wrestling coaches don't know the top athletes in their sport. It creates a stagnant environment with very little room for growth.

At Victory School of Wrestling, I can assure you that we systematically go through the positions and experiment with new skills, tactics and positions. Ultimately, I want to teach the wrestlers how to wrestle, not just how to drill well and execute techniques in a fixed setting. They need to adapt to changes and be willing to put together one concept with another and continuously move forward (isn't that a perfect picture of life?). I want them to learn for themselves, not just repeat a system of moves (like a parrott). Everything we do is on purpose. Our wrestling style is very intentional, thoughtful and creative. We teach technique because it gives us a base, but we allow everyone to wrestle to their strengths.

I think I'm different right now, but I see a lot of other coaches who think the same and want to break out of the old mold. Sometimes they just don't understand that they can. There are endless opportunities when you become your own man/woman and coach athletes they way they need to be coached and begin to move away from doing things the way they've always been done.

Are you doing what you're created to do?

My previous blog post touched on two very important questions that one must constantly be wrestling with while "sharpening the ax." Are you doing what you're created to do and are you doing what you're created to do the way you're created to do it can be both be expanded on greatly, so my next two entries will go deeper on each question.

Am I doing what I was created to do?

I listened to a sermon by Erwin McManus called "Maximizing Your Strength" and he preached on Ecclesiastes 10:10. He said that he believes a lot of us live "accidental lives" - not lives that we've chosen or that we live on purpose, but lives that just sort of happen to us. We live life accidentally, not intentionally and the world around us shapes us.

You need to ask yourself if what you're doing is on purpose. Are you taking responsibility for your actions?

McManus continues saying that sometimes we take that Ecclesiastes 10:10 ax and just swing and swing and swing and live our lives, fulfilling responsibilities, choosing obscure goals and never stopping to ask ourselves the hard question: is this what I was created to do?

Sometimes we have what he called "creative envy," not living the life we were created to live. Instead, we're living the life someone else was created to live, but we want that life really bad. So we do everything we can to get that person's life, but just because you admire someones talent doesn't mean that you've acquired that talent. The reason we chose false dreams is because we don't have the confidence to believe that God created us for something that really matters as the person that we are.

What were you created to do? What's your calling? Everyone has a calling. What's your purpose on this earth? We all have a purpose.

Have you ever participated in a strength finder or type indicator test in hopes of finding your strengths? Isn't it funny how you can take a strength finder and not become any stronger? That's because these tests are designed to find tendencies, which is more like potential. It's not a strength until you fill the gap between potential and competency and skill. That range between talent and skill is discipline and that's what is needed to take all of your gifts and talents (potential) and harness and sharpen them so the ax works best.

We live in a culture of unreached potential. I meet a lot of people with potential who never become potent. When we reach our potential, life becomes easier (we don't become lazy) because we're in our "sweet spot" and doing what we were created to. To reach our potential it takes four steps and you must 1.) work hard; 2.) work hard at what comes easy; 3.) work hard until it's hardly work; and 4.) work hard at what matters most. When we can harness all of the great things God has given us, we begin to affect the world in a way that has the greatest affect that we can have.

If you fall into a category of working hard and not making progress, this is for you. Ecclesiastes 10:10 says we need to work smart by sharpening the ax. However, sometimes we don't have a sharpened ax because we live a frantic life. We don't stop long enough to ask the important questions of life. Is your life an accident or did you choose this life? Are you doing what you're called to or doing what you just felt "in to" in life? A lot of people feel like their life happened to them rather than choosing their life. Take ownership over your life.

Ask yourself, am I doing what I'm created to do? Not what anyone else wants me to do. Not what all the social pressures want me to do. Not what all the past momentum in my life seems to demand what I should do.

When you look back on your life and someone asks how you got doing that for the past 15 years are you going to say it just sort of happened? Or will you take responsibility for your life?

It's so terrifying to actually follow God into the future; it's much easier to cling to God in the past. If you want your ax to be sharp you need to ask if this is what I'm created to do. Is this the life that I chose? Have I chosen this path on purpose or am I just like drift wood floating down a river being taken where it's going?

Be courageous and do what you were created to do. Be bold and confident in who you are. If you take that step you can rest in the promise that God will indeed equip you to do all that you were created to do. "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" - Ephesians 2:10.

Work harder or work smarter

Tomorrow my life is going to change forever. At 7:15am, Liz will be going in for a scheduled c-section and we will welcome our second son into the world. I'm nervous for that moment because in an instant, our lives will never be the same as they are now. I'm very excited to be a father to another child as it is probably the most significant role I will play in my life. Leading up to the day has forced me to sit back and re-evaluate the direction of my life. I've been asking myself if I'm doing what I was created to do and am I doing it the way I was created to do it.

In the Book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon shares with us some wonderful insights on how to live out our purpose in life and maximize our strength. Solomon is described as the wisest man who has ever lived and he shares an important proverb in Ecclesiastes 10:10. He says:

If the ax is dull and its edge unsharpened, more strength is needed but skill will bring success.

Three thousand years ago Solomon was saying what still rings true today - you can either work harder or work smarter.

By doing the same thing the same way over and over we become exhausted. As a result, we apply more strength and get less and less. We get stuck focusing on the product or outcome and get lost in the way we do it. What we all need is the discipline to step back and reflect on the way we're doing it. Are we actually doing what we should be doing, the way we should be doing it for the reasons we should be doing them? Are you doing what you're created to do?

Stop and reflect to be sure your ax is sharp. Use wisdom to succeed. Take a step away and re-sharpen. What you were created for today could be different tomorrow. God might be calling you from what you used to do to what you ought to do. "Are you doing what you're created to do" isn't a permanent question because you're constantly changing and progressing. Sometimes you just to have put the ax down and ask again, "is this what I'm supposed to be doing in this moment, in this time. Is this my calling in life?"

Not only should you ask yourself are you doing what you're created to do, but are you doing it the way you're created to do it? This is where we don't pull back and sharpen. We don't take enough time for self-reflection. There's a certain way unique to you to do what you're called to do, but you have to have courage to be willing to explore and discover who you are. There's creative beauty inside of you, but it's not enough just to know what you were created to do, you have to begin to discover how you were created to do it. The great danger is to live a life of monotony and sameness rather than discovering uniqueness.

Tomorrow is going to be one of the most important days of my life. What's more important is what I do after the arrival of my second child. Before tomorrow comes, I need to ask myself today if I'm developing the skills necessary to be the best at what I do to do the best at whatever I do? Because we were never created to do what we do at a lower quality than the best that we are; the best that we have. We're all called to a high price to develop the skills for success in whatever field, whatever endeavor or whatever journey we choose.

Am I doing what I was created to do and am I doing it the way I was created to do it?

Participation Mindset

I've been following a very interesting and thought-provoking thread on the Wisconsin Wrestling Online forum. I read most of the drivel that is posted, but felt compelled to engage in this particular conversation entitled "coaching ideas."

Often times, I open links on the forum hoping to be enlightened and inspired, but often close them disappointed for a variety of reasons. Needless to say, I don't find much joy in Internet discussions, however, I feel that it is imperative to hear the "voices" of the wrestling nation no matter who these anonymous avatars are if I desire to have an impact on this culture.

I'm encouraged by this new thread because I believe it has the potential to open important dialogue that is crucial to our sport. If you haven't noticed, youth sports are hurting and I think wrestling is hurting more than others. Youth sports aren't hurting for participation as many claim, though. Kids are participating in sports, especially wrestling. Youth wrestling tournaments are as big as ever and there are more than ever. The number of USA Wrestling members (the most accessible measuring tool for participation) has increased for the fifth consecutive year nationwide and in Wisconsin. Participation is not a problem, but it is THE problem.

If I can be frank, I'm sick and tired of the "participation mindset." The idea that everyone needs to participate in everything all of the time is going to pull the rug out from underneath us and we're all going to fall flat on our faces. If I were going to summarize youth wrestling in one word, I'd use consumer. Athletes, parents and even coaches spend entire seasons consuming everything they can. This is the norm in our society, but as a kid, I was led to believe that wrestling was different. We're blue collar, hard working individuals who remember traditional values and how to treat one another. Not any more. I used to hear military officers and other prominent leaders say they want wrestlers by their side because they can stand alone and do the hard work. Not any more. The wrestling culture has become "takers" like everyone else because we're stuck in a participation mindset.

I whole heartily believe that every young child should be able to participate in sports and I encourage parents to be involved. However, not every kid has the "right" to compete in a variety of world championships before they turn 10 years of and not every parent has the tools to be a coach. Participation is great, but participating in everything has corrupted our sport.

Wrestlers need to be contributors, not consumers. I have a question for you, and it may be convicting: the last time you went to a wrestling event/practice, were you thinking about anyone else besides yourself? Did you go there seeing what you could get out of it or how you could contribute to something bigger than yourself? Was practice only about you or did you consider that your efforts might be key to helping someone else succeed? Were you upset with the quality of officials at the last tournament and still never offered a helping hand? Was the event too long for you? Too warm? Too cold? No event t-shirt? Not enough matches? Not enough one-on-one time? Was it all about you?

The participation mindset has grown to a point now that wrestling people feel a sense of entitlement. They believe everything needs to revolve around them as an individual. Wrestling, of all sports, needs to reverse this mindset more than ever or we will die by the wayside of unrealistic expectations with no one to run a tournament and unqualified coaches leading our spoiled kids. That's the path that we're on right now. Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?

I'm appalled by how few athletes and parents stay to help roll up mats. It saddens me to see individuals leave a youth wrestling club because it didn't offer everything they wanted. I get sick by the number of tournaments that lure children into their venue with big trophies using world or national championships in their gaudy names so they can make an extra buck so they can buy personalized duffle bags for their high school team. Seriously, we have thrown out the importance of kind, selfless service for a customized embroidered duffle bag. That's entitlement and it's going to kill our sport.

The damage done by school boards, budget cuts, Title IX, etc. is not even close to the damage caused by wrestling people to our sport. It's time to step up and make the necessary changes to succeed. By succeeding, I mean creating a culture of character-rich individuals. 10 year old kids should never wrestle more than a high school athletes (competitions and practices). Trophies should never be the reason someone competes. Adults should act like adults and kids should act like kids. Volunteers should be abundant, not scarce. Authorities should be able to say "no" and others (especially parents) should understand what "no" means.

If you continued reading to this point, my guess is that you might be on the same page as me here and I hope you have the depth in your heart to be able to say, "how can I help" the next time you come in contact with the sport of wrestling. Not only do I hope you ask, but that you're actually willing to help and not just saying the words to appear generous. In wrestling, selflessness leads to much more success than selfishness.

Outcomes vs. Process

Another great insight from Kathleen de Boer's Gender and Competition is her explanation of how men and women are different competitively by the value placed on outcome versus process.

Outcomes identify winners and losers, demarcate successes and failures. Process is continuous and ongoing; it is a journey rather than a destination. The male worldview tends to value outcome over process; the female worldview tends to value process over outcome. Each group trains harder and therefore more effectively when the practice activities match their collective mindset.

Females generally have a higher tolerance than males for the mundanity of repetitive drills. Their process focus means they pay more attention to the details of particular skills and are more attuned to technical specifics. A drill-based training regimen also allows them to bond with each other and the coach through non-confrontational, method-focused activity. The valuation of process over outcome allows groups of females a synergy of spirit in practice settings rarely available to male groups.

Males, concerned with proving themselves, are more easily distracted during repetitive practice than females. They lose interest in drills and have a harder time than females focusing on the specifics of a skill. The lack of consequence in the activity, the very feature that makes it appealing to females, makes it difficult for males. Males are more enthusiastic, and therefore more cooperative, in outcome-oriented, competitive sequences similar to those found in game situations.

These respective strengths and weaknesses, however, are reversed in actual contests. The valuation of outcome over process allows groups of males a synergy of intent in competitive settings rarely available to their female counterparts. Females, acutely attuned to method, are more easily distracted during competition than males. The primacy of consequence, the very feature that makes competition appealing to males, makes it difficult for females.

Pragmatically, this difference means males and females enter situations with divergent road maps for how to proceed, and eventually how to succeed. "Alone at the top" implies a certain detachment from personal relationships; it requires a degree of distance from underlings, an aloofness from the daily chaos of the average workplace, and the ability to compartmentalize decision-making and emotion. "The center of connections" implies a certain engagement in personal relationships; it requires a degree of familiarity with underlings, an engrossment in the daily chaos of the average workplace, and the ability to co-mingle decision-making and emotion (de Boer, pages 26-28).