Who's going to coach my son?

Coach's education has become very important to me. As I open my mind to what the world has to offer me, I have come to expect other coaches to do the same. Individuals never outgrow learning, especially those who are educators and coaches.

Why is it then, that the place that I see those who are least willing to learn are in positions that have the most influence in the life of a child? The most influential person in the life of a child is, in fact, Coach. Studies have proved the two most important words that American children hear or say is, “Coach says.” That’s a heavy burden to carry and a very large responsibility that must be taken seriously by anyone who calls themselves “coach.”

The problem that we have in the United States is that anyone can call themselves coach. We let every Tom, Dick and Harry put on that title if they’re willing. Never mind if they’re qualified for the position, if they’re interested then give them a clipboard and whistle. I guess it’s consistent with the “participation mindset,” that everyone is a winner and everyone gets equal playing time. Why should it be different for adults, right?

I’ll tell you why it should be different, because the lives and overall well-being of children is at stake. Their character development is in the hands of coaches. Our future leaders are being shaped by these individuals. Sometimes, this is left up to an adult with no positive character traits and no leadership skills. I think it is wise to have very high standards for coaches.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate everyone who has given their time and energy to helping children in sports. I believe that most coaches are genuinely doing the best that they can and doing what they believe is right. However, this doesn’t give everyone a free pass to coach because not everyone is a good coach, even if they’re doing the best that they can. Sorry, but not everyone is qualified to coach.

I communicate with coaches and parents on a regular basis. I hear many different perspectives and my conviction on youth sports grows stronger and stronger each day. There is a right way to coach youth athletes and there is a wrong way. The right way is to encourage participation by making sports fun and focusing on development and retention while promoting healthy lifestyles and sound decision making abilities with positive character. Period. That’s it. That’s youth sports. Notice, I didn’t mention anything about winning?

The wrong way, 100% of the time, is to focus on winning. When winning becomes the focus, development is hindered. Short cuts are inevitably taken to find immediate success. There are no long-term goals to those who focus on winning at the youth level. This short sightedness leads to the demise of youth programs and high school sports. We’re getting everything out of our children at an age when they don’t understand its significance and it’s robbing them of future opportunities to grow. Sorry, but your 3rd grader is not an exception, either. I don’t care how advanced you believe he/she is, or how ambitious you are as a coach, you can’t, can’t, CANT substitute development for a chance at fleeting, temporary success. If this offends you, I'm glad someone is finally telling you because you're wrong.

The best analogy that I have to understand my commitment to development at the youth levels is like planting a tree. I planted a small pine tree in my back yard three years ago. It would have been easier to plant that little thing right outside my backdoor instead of far away in the corner of my yard. It would have been easier to care for it, water it and watch it grow. Heck, it may have even grown quicker because I would have paid close attention to it. However, in a few short years, when that pine started to mature, it would not have been able to grow anymore. The roots would have grown into the house. I’m certain the insurance company would have eventually made me dig it up because it could damage the integrity of the foundation. Plus, who wants a tree alongside the house? I'd much rather have a beautiful deck outside my backdoor. This is how youth sports should be viewed. This is the right way. It’s wrong to plant your tree outside your door.

Today, there are 57 million kids playing youth sports who are between 6 and 14 years of age, but only 7 million 15 years or older. Too many people are planting their trees next to their houses and it's time to do something about it.

One coach will impact more young people in one year than the average person impacts in an entire lifetime. So, what’s our filter for these people? How do we choose who gets to coach my son? What are the qualifications, if any, to hold these precious, moldable hearts and minds in our hands? A child’s future is at stake. I don't think we need to make sure a coach understands the cognitive abilities of children, or their kinesthetic capabilities and awareness of lactic acid threshold and periodized cycles. We need someone who is willing to learn and grasps the sport they’re teaching, and above all, loves children and wants to see them develop into men and women?

I'm very passionate about seeing children succeed and I'm not sorry if this offended you. I'm not interested in making coaches feel good about what they do. It's not about them. We need to start thinking about what the kid’s need, not what the adults want.