We decided to organize our lives in such a way that we wouldn't need to utilize child care. Our system works well for us because Liz works days and I work nights. As a result, I find myself doing many of the things that traditional stay-at-home mothers do during the day. I make breakfast, start the dishwasher, load the washing machine, drive to preschool, switch the laundry, drive to the library, grocery store and, of course, Target. Then I make it home in time to make lunch before unloading the dishwasher and putting the boys down for naps. In the midst of raising two joyful little boys, I've managed to conduct a variety of covert amateur anthropological studies focused primarily on the organization of human social and cultural relations and human behavior (for more context, read Opening scene: an indoor playground). I see many of the same people day-to-day, and as you might guess, not many of them are of the male gender. I'm the only person with facial hair at story time at the library (and the grandmother who brings her two grandchildren doesn't count).
I'm surrounded by mothers and their children everywhere I go during the daylight hours and I've classified the stay-at-home moms into three distinct categories. I've made significant stereotype claims and none of them are intended to be derogatory. In fact, I have the utmost respect for these powerful women that I cross paths with on a daily basis. So, in tongue-and-cheek fashion, here are the categories:
OVERTLY CHRISTIAN MOM
She wears her faith on her sleeve. She's not ashamed of the cross or her godly responsibility to be at home with her kids. And she's not offended by the title, either. In fact, she's probably glad we know she's rock solid in her faith and would be honored to pray for you. This mom offers great perspective during difficult times and is the mom of all moms. She's involved in MOPS and organizes play dates at the park. Most of her kids are still pre-Kindergarten, however, she has her ducks in a row and is ready to begin the homeschool process. She hasn't owned a television since she got married (much to the dismay of her husband), so she read On Becoming Babywise, What to Expect When You're Expecting, Parenting by the Book and several other parenting books. She's quick to take advantage of free opportunities at the public library because she has her family on a budget after completing Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. She's very exclusive and works hard to surround herself with other Overtly Christian Moms.
Overtly Christian Mom: The Stats
Kids names: Biblical names like Jacob, Isaac, Grace, Hope (or Isaiah and Micaiah...)
Vehicle: 2007 Chrysler Town & Country
Workout: A long summer walk pushing the stroller
Breastfeeding in public?: With a paisley "hooter hider," of course
Diaper bag: 16 pockets, fully-equipped with various wipes, powders and ointments
Diapers: Tried cloth, but it was way too hard, settles for bulk deals at diapers.com
Grocery Store: Aldi
Garden: yes
Organic: When it's cost effective, absolutely
Wardrobe: maternity clothes (even when she's not pregnant)
Phone: LG flip phone
Social media: Facebook
HIPPIE MOM
This mom is similar to the mom above except she doesn't base her decision to stay at home on pressure from anyone other than herself. She hasn't been called by God and feels no guilt from the church (she might not even believe in God). Staying home is just the most natural thing for her to do. Actually, most of her life is based on what is natural - her clothes (and sometimes hygiene, sorry), her child rearing or disciplinary actions, etc. Her kids can become a distraction to others and she doesn't think it's a big deal. She's very "chill" and never overreacts. She doesn't have cable television because she's never been interested in the programming on anything other that public television. The look of this mom is very distinctive and her circle is unintentionally quite exclusive.
Hippie Mom: The Stats
Kids names: Theo, George, Harmony, Mabel
Vehicle: 1988 Toyota Land Cruiser (on occasion, a used Prius)
Workout: A challenging hike with a homemade wrap baby carrier
Breastfeeding in public?: Go for it, au naturale
Diaper bag: Reusable eco-friendly bag from Trader Joe's
Diapers: Cloth
Grocery Store: local co-op
Garden: Yes
Organic: Definitely (and vegan)
Wardrobe: Wool, earth tones and Keen's or Choco's
Phone: iPhone 4
Social media: e-mail
TWEENER MOM
She lands smack dab in the middle of the Overtly Christian Mom and Hippie Mom. She wants to be home because she thinks it's right for her children. She might have a spiritual background that guides her desire towards being at home and it just feels right for her. She just wants to spend the formative years with her kids. She's naturally extraverted and mingles with every group so she has friends from every category. In fact, when she has a few moms over for dinner, it's the only time some of her Overtly Christian Mom and Hippie Mom friends interact with one another. She has DirecTV because her husband insists they need it for sports. She quietly wishes they didn't have a television like her other mom friends, but she's thankful for the option to plop the kiddos down in front of an episode of Thomas while she makes dinner (she would never admit this to the others). She shares songs like "Summergirls" by LFO on Spotify and has a Cascada station on Pandora because it reminds her of her college years. Now, she spends her free time Pinning cutesy crafts, gingerbread houses and stocking stuffers or watching old episodes of Grey's on Hulu.
Tweener Mom: The Stats
Kids names: Bella, Ella, Brayden, Aiden, Caden, Madison, Addison
Vehicle: 2010 Honda Pilot
Workout routine: Zumba (with child care)
Breastfeeding in public?: not comfortable/too modest
Diaper bag: A chic Vera Bradley or modern Columbia that doubles as a messenger bag
Diapers: Target brand
Grocery Store: Target or Trader Joe's
Garden: In her dreams
Organic: If it's convenient, sure, why not?
Wardrobe: Joe's Jeans, Tom's, layers and, of course, a scarf
Phone: Galaxy S III
Social media: Pinterest
Thank God for moms!
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Dude, this is the best blog I have ever read. You are one of the finest: Husband, father, wrestling coach, blogger, homebody I have ever known. There is a whole Company of Soliders currently in Afghanistan that are happier because I read your blogs out loud. ;-)
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Nice post. As a fellow stay-at-home dad I can relate to your unique position in the world. If you were to do a fourth category it might be Too Tired or Lazy Mom (or in my case Dad). When I became a stay at home dad after our move I thought it would be a great opportunity to spent quality time with the kids, especially the younger two. As a learning scientist I thought I'd really be able to help my five year old with his cognitive development, and be super dad for the older two. What I've found is that I'm always tired, forgetting things, and turning on the t.v. way more often than I should (to occupy the kids so I can get something done). I certainly have much more respect and admiration for stay-at-homers, hopefully I'll get the hang of this at some point. Cheers for the post.
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