Be choosy about choosing

Last weekend I spent some time with my friend and colleague Shane Sparks. We rapped about how frustrated we get when wrestlers don't take advantage of the opportunity to make a choice. On our broadcast, we talked specifically about choosing to defer after the first period and choosing down because "that's just what you do." Together, we expressed our frustrations with this and are on a mission to get the word out. I suppose there are far more noble topics to bring to the masses, however, there is something profound here, too.

I travel around the state and talk to coaches about a variety of topics. Often times, I hear coaches explain how part of their purpose as a coach is to help athletes learn how to make decisions. It's a great outlook and I'm motivated to do the same. This is why I'm bothered so much by some of those same coaches missing on the potential teachable moments that come from choosing between periods.

In the sport of wrestling, between the first and second periods, one individual is given "choice." He can choose top, bottom, neutral (both on the feet) or defer the choice to his opponent and get choice in the third period. Between the second and third period, the other athlete has choice of top, bottom or neutral. You know the phrase, you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink, right? Well, if the horse is dying of thirst, it's nearly a guarantee that if you lead him to water, he will drink. It undermines the idea of it being a choice. Similarly, if you give an unsure-about-himself teenager the choice to let someone else choose for him, he likely will because he fears responsibility. So, he defers, naturally. Unfortunately, letting others make choices for you often comes with consequences - sometimes big, sometimes small. I'm all for deferring the choice to your opponent if it gives you a strategic advantage. I'm not in favor of deferring the choice by default, though. There isn't much in life that results in good after you defer (think: deferring on your taxes, etc.)

Empowering individuals to make wise choices has the potential to teach young men about responsibility and accountability. Avoiding responsibility (letting others choose for you) can prolong the development of becoming a man. I know, it sounds like I'm blowing everything out of proportion, and maybe I am. However, between periods is the only time in a wrestling that the official stops the action and asks the individual to make a choice...so choose wisely.

Within this same category is the unfortunate phenomenon of choosing "down" without carefully considering if it's the best choice. I try to engage coaches in this conversation and often times I hear responses like this: "you have to be able to get away if you're going to win," "he needs to learn to get away," "we always go down; to get our one," etc., etc. All of these statements lack logic. First of all, you don't have to be able to get away to win. That's just not true unless you're in the final overtime. If he needs to learn to get away, teach him in practice. And always going down is stubbornly stupid. Individuals are empowered in decision making when they see positive results from their choice. Why choose to put someone where they're not good or sure to fail? If your answer is because you always do, that's simply foolish.

As a coach, my responsibility to athletes should be about helping them manage their choices and eventually empowering them to choose wisely on their own. Shame on the coaches who fail to see the opportunity to teach their athletes about responsibility in this category. The impact of the shortsighted decisions they make on behalf of their athletes is appalling. Be choosy about choosing. Every time you have the opportunity to actually choose, no matter how big or small, choose wisely. Make educated and informed decisions.