After the bronze medal match, Precious graciously shook the hand of her opponent from India and offered her a congratulatory hug. She sincerely commended the coaches in the opposing corner and then genuinely apologized to me for not winning. She said, “thank you” to over 20 volunteers on her way back through the tunnel. They adored her and became her friend over two days and four matches. Knowing those people and their roles were appreciated mattered to her and in that moment, she wasn’t going to let the sting of the loss change that.
Her attitude of gratitude was real and infectious the entire week. Each high five, hug, fist bump, smile, picture with kids, and acknowledgment was on point and noticed. She made time for everyone. Everyone. Teammates, opponents, coaches, volunteers, fans, and locals. Everyone got her best this week. She just made others feel better about themselves.
Wrestling is an individual sport. Often, the one who can be most selfish at the right time enjoys great success. Eliminating distractions, locking in, going off the grid, and blocking others out allows one to enter the ideal competitive state: The Zone. It requires intense focus and drive to “put on the blinders.”
If focus is what moves us towards the goal, then perspective allows for peripheral vision around it. A coach once told me about an athlete who won several medals and titles but couldn’t name everyone on his team. He was one of his best friends but never remembered his birthday. He said that, to his recall, his friend never asked him how he was doing or what was going on in his life. He was laser focused, but he lacked perspective.
Perspective allows you to see things around you. It allows you to be where your feet are. To the most focused, that may seem like a distraction. That’s certainly where distractions live, but it’s a lonely existence to be so focused on winning the big moment that you lose in the areas of gratitude, sportsmanship, relationship, and community. It’s reminiscent of gaining the entire world and forfeiting your soul. That’s perspective.
Precious had a goal, no doubt, but she also had perspective. She noticed everyone around her and they felt it. It made everyone around her better. Everyone performed better. The team was better.
Her place on the senior world team was a late addition because of several circumstances. It was a blessing to have this opportunity, but time to prepare was short – childcare, schedules, flights, training, etc. She was uncertain about belonging, but was going to make it count. She shared a dream she had several months ago about being on the team and standing on the podium. It stirred her heart. That forced us to remain focused and maintain a perspective that was hard to make sense of.
It wasn’t until last Tuesday that it would be “official” that this golden opportunity was indeed in taking place. We discussed the responsibilities of being on Team USA, what her role looked like, how she could serve others, and how to secure a medal. I made her a daily checklist. I was adamant that she needed to value her needs over the needs of others when the time came to do so. She was hesitant. We talked about wrestling free and performing in a way that inspired others. She was cautious. She didn’t want to leave others behind or cut people out of the journey. She wanted to wrestle her very best and be there for everyone else at the same time (sounds like a good mom).
Before her final match, I prepared a thoughtful pep talk. I told her she needed to do this last part for herself. That she needed that laser focus and that she had earned 15 minutes to be all about herself. And..she hesitated.
Our walk to the holding area was like our walk back described above. She congratulated teammates, wished others good luck, and saw everyone. None of it was a distraction, though. She made people feel good even in the most nerve wrecking moment of her wrestling career. People high fived her, wished her luck, and wanted to see her succeed. But honestly, regardless of how important it was to her, the outcome really wasn’t important to any of them. Winning or losing had no bearing on her place on this team. That was finally secure. Peoples’ opinions of her weren’t going to change. Nothing could add to or subtract from the contributions she had made. She impacted and inspired people because of who she is and her perspective. Lives had been positively impacted and that led to a team environment that would accomplish something it never had before: TEAM gold.
She made everyone feel better, so they all performed better.
The individual medal would have been sweet, but I think there was almost a subconcious exchange of her personal medal so everyone could experience the first TEAM gold medal. She was capable of an individual medal this week, but her character wasn’t capable of compromising. Putting herself first isn’t who she is, and that lifted those around her to make history. That’s what was required of her this week. It’s a legacy story. The team that won the first gold medal since women’s wrestling became an Olympic sport needed Precious Wieser to be exactly who she is. Her time for an individual will come.
Her dream came true. How’s that for perspective?
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