Reacting vs. Responding

When I was in high school I received tremendous advice from my dad about the difference between reacting and responding. He recalled a time when his grandfather used an analogy about penicillin to describe the two. I reference back to it often throughout each day with conflict resolution or handling difficult situations.

Responding is preferred to reacting in all situations. Penicillin was created to help sick people. When we respond positively to the use of penicillin, it has the power to save our lives. However, if we react to it, we can die. This simple analogy was permanently etched into my mind when I was 14 years old. I believe that sometimes the difference between reacting and responding can be a life and death matter.

Richard Flint, a personal development speakers, says, "It's so easy to react. But responding takes another set of skills that every manager should have." Responding requires calmness and stability. If we make decisions based on our emotions, it is likely that we will react. Every time you react, you lose control of the environment and turn an opportunity into an obstacle.

Emotionally, stay cool. Each time you feel yourself starting to speed up emotionally, stop whatever you're doing, take a deep breath, and ask yourself: "What can I do to turn this into a positive experience?" If you don't slow down, you'll race in, spread your emotions all over the place, leave, and then have created a crisis attached to a crisis. The result is total confusion and frustration. Just make yourself slow down and ask questions, rather than make statements.

I use the movies Matrix and Wanted to explain this idea to athletes when they are learning new techniques. We need to step outside of ourselves and see the situation for what it truly is, this is putting everything is perspective. In both movies, characters are able to slow the world down around them and see things moving in slow motion. The can make better decisions because they see everything unfolding before their eyes. This allows us to see the silver lining and to actively chose to respond instead of reacting.

Stay focused on the solution, not the problem. Pause and ask questions before you give out information or make decisions. Examine your attitude, regulate your emotions and try alternative behaviors. You choose to react or to respond.

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." ~ Ephesians 4:31-32

Stop reacting and start responding.