Investing in the lives of others is more important for my growth than it is for theirs. I've had the opportunity to "mentor" a few people over the last ten years. It's important that I help give back by sharing my experiences and what I've learned from being in similar life situations. Not only is it important to those receiving the advice and input, but it's invaluable to the one handing it out. This year, I looked forward to those weekly meetings because they were extremely rich in content and helped me grow in several areas as a man, husband and father. Coaching young athletes provides several areas for me to invest in others as well, however, I'm the one learning the most in those relationships.
Things that matter don't happen accidentally. Receiving the right kind of input requires being intentional. I'm hard pressed to find time to read books, however, I take advantage of extended periods of solitude (airplanes, hotels, etc) to jam in as much as I can. I also look for moments in the car when I can play a talk, book on tape or sermon series. The scenario that I'm currently living in has me pouring a lot of myself out - coaching, parenting, etc. - and I need fill up. It needs to be intentional, though.
A jigsaw puzzle is a great metaphor for life. I love completing a puzzle and admiring the finished product, however, what happens in between dumping the pieces on the table and overlooking it when it's complete is a perfect picture of how successful people navigate life. Laying a foundation for future success is how every puzzle maker begins the process by sorting pieces and building the edge. Throughout the experience, there are several times when things fall together with little effort while many more require patience and a change of perspective. The ability to see a situation differently in the midst of a struggle is one of life's greatest challenges. Spinning a puzzle piece around in my fingers helps me remember that my point-of-view is only one of many and in the end, there's only one way...referencing John 14:6, not a Sammy Hagar lyric.
When presented with the opportunity to choose your family, pick them every time. I love my life because I'm able to put a few things on hold and spend a lot of time with my family. My wife and I are extremely blessed to spend an abundance of time with each other and our children. I've had to make some difficult decisions in order to make it a reality and I don't regret any of them. I miss a few things about the life I had before children, but I've listened to hundreds of people older and much smarter and wiser than I am who said spend as much time with your children while they're young as you can. In 2014, I lightened my load even more in order to spend more time with my family. I understand my circumstances are different than most and many aren't afforded the same opportunities I've been blessed with. Still, if you do get the chance to choose, choose your family.
Marriage is exciting and fun when you continually make it a priority. This might be a quote by Captain Obvious, however, I'm shocked by how little attention couples actually give to their marriage. There are a lot of great people with wonderful marriages who get by without consciously prioritizing it, however, studies show they might be one unprojected change or tragedy from separating. Liz and I understand we each married another human being full of thoughts, expectations and opinions different than our own. Each of us has a lifetime of baggage, too. We committed to that person on our wedding day while making a promise to commit to who that person becomes in the future. We want to navigate life together, however, we want our marriage to thrive, not just survive, in a selfish society that has stacked the deck against the institution of marriage. 10 months ago we completed the Love and Respect study by Emerson Eggerichs and it was a "game changer" for us.
Actions speak louder than words. This is an important principle to live by, however, don't excuse that words matter as well. Showing someone you love them is far more important that telling them, but if we strive to show them, it doesn't hurt to tell them, too. It's irresponsible to assume the other person knows what you're thinking and feeling. We must show others with actions (and use words to communicate).
My list of recommendations shrink year after year, however, I do suggest everyone in a coaching role spends some time exploring the notion of 3 Dimensional Coaching. I'm also a big fan of Talent Code by Daniel Coyle and Relentless by Tim Glover. I did some research on Vince Lombardi and he's a pretty important resource for coaches (even those who don't cheer for the Packers). I attended the Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit and plead with everyone who breathes to attend it in 2015 (August 6-7). I was inspired by Pastor Choco (Wilfredo de Jesus) and enjoyed In The Gap. It was relevant to my life and provided some historical context that excites a history nerd. I receive an e-mail daily from Seth Godin. His leadership expertise is priceless (actually, it's free). I carve time in my schedule to listen to sermons by Steven Furtick, Matt Chandler and Andy Stanley. I have a long list of others, including Louie Giglio, who never cease to blow my mind with Biblical truths. I'm also excited about the impact Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck has had on the administration at River Falls High School.
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