Women need a good leader

Women need a good leader. Are you alright with this observation? Because it's true. If you're insulted by me writing this, I encourage you to relax and continue reading. I believe women were created with an innate need to be led well. Certainly, there have been wonderful female leaders throughout history and many women have tremendous leadership qualities. However, women still desire to be led. I can hear a few of you accusing me as being a chauvinist and clinging to 1 Peter 3:7 where it states that women are the "weaker vessel," but I'm not. I'm treating women like women in an attempt to embrace their feminine qualities. Females respond best in athletics when they are led.

Some women become guarded and insulted when I bring this to their attention. All athletes benefit from a successful leader, but women thrive in an environment with good leadership. As pioneers in women's wrestling, many of our athletes have stepped up in courage and I applaud them. As a result, many have been forced to assume leadership of their own competitive careers and training schedules. Still, success is more prevalent to those who have a leader who understands them and takes them to where they ought to be.

I understand much of what I'm writing is in line with stereotypes (women are more nurturing, empathetic and responsive; men are action-oriented and focused on tasks, so they tend to be more self-reliant). Men want to accomplish a task on their own to prove they "have what it takes" to be a man. Women are cooperative. As a child, I remember desiring to finish my homework without any help whereas Liz recalls that she wanted help all of the time. To a man, asking for help is admitting failure (regardless if it's needed or not). To a woman, asking for help is building a crucial relational bond. Females are more concerned about the relationship than they are about accomplishing a task. What is important to them is if they have someone to share their successes with.

I test this theory with every female athlete that I work with and it proves itself over and over. My male athletes will take initiative to work out on their own if I don't give them instructions or direction. Additionally, they're quick to create a workout of their own if they're not clear on what to do. On the flip side, female athletes don't take it upon themselves to get a workout in without input and, most times, will not workout all together if not instructed to do so.

I had a female athlete come to Victory to train and her previous coach warned me about her lack of work ethic. He said that she won't do the little things on her own to be successful. I found that she was willing to do all of the little things and much more with some guidance and leadership. She responded very well when I instructed her on what was best. She was reluctant to take the steps on her own. I submit that it wasn't in her genetic make-up to do the little things on her own like her coach expected. She was not a man, so I didn't expect her to train like a man. As a woman, she needed to be led.

In my experience as a coach of female athletes, women work best when they can follow a plan and receive direction and instruction from a leader. I notice this much more in women than in men. I'm not surprised by this at all as it seemed that most of the females that I grew up with were diligent in filling in their assignment notepad and following the plan set out by our teachers. Males wanted to do it their own way (eventually discovering that the teacher had the best way).

This all presents a very unique opportunity for me as a coach. I have the potential to play a very large roll in the success of my female athletes. Obviously, I can play a large roll in the success of my male athletes, too, but the females can be impacted exponentially while the males only incrementally. The coach (or leader) is a key component in the life of the female athlete. They want to approach and work towards a goal in a cooperative way. Men and women are programed differently and should be treated accordingly.

Being cooperative, females turn challenge into opportunity by working in teams; not by trumpeting their ideas, but by listening. They don't seek out problems and go fix them. They use alliances to get things done over time and enjoy working through problems with others. A network is crucial and the leader plays a significant role.

Since women need leaders, they are naturally great followers. They listen well and put the plan into action if they trust their leader--which is my next topic. It all becomes very clear to me because I sum it up this way: women take care, men take charge.