Youth Wrestling Tournaments Are Not Fun Anymore!

I don't even know where to start with this one. I've had a great week reflecting on life, in general, and many of my positive thoughts have been polluted with issues that have come to head since the most recent youth state wrestling tournament.

I serve as the Women's Director on the Wisconsin Wrestling Federation board of directors. I was initially scared to take the position because I was afraid my legacy in the Wisconsin wrestling community would be women's wrestling. However, I have grown past that thought and strive to do what is best for wrestling overall, regardless of age or gender. That's why I'm concerned.

I run a very successful wrestling school. We have testimony after testimony from athletes and parents who have become better wrestlers from their time spent at Victory School of Wrestling. What's more, these individuals are quick to reference the individual growth that is taking part in all who participate - athletes, coaches, officials and parents. We are positively influencing people and lives are being changed. That's what youth sports are about, right? So it probably comes as no surprised when I reveal that I am not a fan of youth wrestling tournaments.

Don't get me wrong, I love competition and I think children need to be in competitive environments and experience the thrill of victory and the sting of defeat. However, the youth wrestling environment has been infiltrated with arrogant, self-serving, uneducated coaches and parents set on devouring each other. They are so prevalent, that I fear the lasting impact these events are now having on children.

When I was a little kid, youth tournaments were fun! Now, they're scary. As a second grade wrestler, I remember the announcers were always smiling; today it seems like they're always reprimanding someone. The energy in the gymnasiums was always positive, but today the energy is so negative it hurts to be inside. We focused on having fun, now the focus is on winning and parents will do whatever it takes to see that their child is the winner. Unfortunately, in the end, that child and parent are the loser. They lose because of the missed opportunities to develop as a human being, to use wrestling as a tool to build life skills and to have fun enjoying youth sports. You're only a kid once.

There's no way that I could put all of my feelings into one blog post and I'd rather not take time writing on negative topics like this. I attended a large youth wrestling tournament three years ago that sums up my thoughts. It was a dual meet tournament and I didn't agree with the format to begin with, but I thought it would be a good experience for my middle school athletes and help me evaluate their progress (and mine as new club).

I was appalled by the attitude of many of the coaches. They were cut throat and did whatever it took to win. Before the tournament started, they manipulated the weigh-ins and brackets to get a head start on their quest to win the tournament. During the event, they were nearly violent with their attitude towards the officials. While coaching, they were extremely negative and caused enough fear in their athletes that there was no other option but to win. It worked. The team with the coaches that were the biggest jerks won. Imagine that: kids will respond when they're scared out of their mind. It was a rude awakening for me.

Humbled, I sat my team down and had a heart-to-hear with them. I had assembled a group of kids that were top-notch in the character category. The first thing I said is that I was sorry they had to be a part of such a lousy experience. I admitted that I was not prepared for the conduct of the adults (and athletes) at this event. I mentioned that they lost today, but will continue improving and what makes them "winners" is that they competed with good sportsmanship and are developing the "right things the right way" and they'll get what they deserve. I told them that I'm the wrong coach for an event like this because I will not belittle a child or scare them into winning. I pointed out the history of one of the clubs that destroyed our team. They are quick to burn kids out, they have a history of high school athletes getting in trouble and they don't experience success at the next levels of competition, not to mention the coaches had never experienced high level success their own. It's like the blind leading the blind. That was three years ago and my group of athletes has soared past nearly every individual on the other team (believe me, I'm tracking the progress of that team).

I'm scared for the future of the sport that I dearly love. Budget cuts and school boards are not putting our sport in jeopardy; coaches and parents are. No one is above self-reflection on this topic. Everyday I ask myself if I am on the right path with my athletes and if I'm presenting the sport to them in a way that promotes individual growth and retention of athletes. I strive to have a positive influence on every single athlete - leaving no child behind. I don't want to be "that guy" who is responsible for someone having a negative experience. Are you that guy? I hope not. If you are, it's time to think of others.


"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedome to indulge the sinful nature, rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other." - Galatians 5:13-15