Quitting is hard

One of the single most defining moments in my life took place when I was in seventh grade. I was a boy on the verge of setting some large personal goals in my academic career as well as in my athletic endeavors. What happened in early fall of 1992 changed my life. I've had many opportunities to share this story at various camps and speaking engagements.

During this time at River Falls Meyer Middle School, seventh grade students were given the option to choose between introductory level French or German as part of the exploratory unit. Each language was offered for one quarter. The goal was to introduce students to foreign languages so they would be able to make a better decision on what foreign language they would learn from grade eight through graduation. I chose French.

My French class met 4th period during the first quarter. Many of my friends also enrolled in French, but were in different class periods. I felt very self-conscious attempting to learn another language while being vulnerable in front of classmates that I was uncomfortable around and I just wanted to be with some friends. So, after the first week, I decided to "drop" French I. I thought I would maybe pick it up again later during the year or even try German. I didn't have a plan, but I made the decision to part ways with that class.

I went to the office and picked up a yellow drop form and brought in home to my parents. Together, we filled it out and I brought it to school the next day to have my teacher Madame (Lisa) Myhre sign so I could be released. What happened next it what changed me.

I sheepishly approached Madame before class and asked her to sign my drop form. She looked right through me and said something along the lines of, "Xavier (my French name), I'm very disappointed in you. Is this how you're going to handle everything in life when it gets difficult? Are you just going to quit?" I was completely shocked and extremely convicted on the inside. I put on my best tough guy face and gave her a half hearted grin. She signed the form and slid it across her desk. I picked it up and sat down.

I was terrified by what she said. Was I going to quit every time? I didn't want to be a quitter. I had huge dreams and big goals. I wanted to be a winner, not a quitter. Wow! I was perplexed.

I put my drop form in my backpack. All that was left for me to do was turn the signed sheet of paper into the office and I was done with 4th period French I. I remember thinking: If I do this, I will be a quitter the rest of my life. However, if I decide to make it work and push through it, I could be great. When I was able to look at it from that perspective, everything changed. I never turned in the form and Madame Myhre didn't mentioned the situation the rest of the quarter. She demonstrated tough love and I needed it.

I finished French I and took French every year through high school, completing French VI as a senior. I've been to France twice and have successfully navigated my way through Paris while communicating well with others. That's not what I got most from French class, though. I learned that quitting is hard and I don't want to be a quitter.

As I pursued my goals in academics and athletics, I was faced with many situations that I wanted to back out of. Almost daily, I recalled the conversation with Madame Myhre and asked myself what she had asked me in September 1992, "am I going to quit when things get tough?" No way! Not this kid. I wanted to be a winner and it took a seventh grade French teacher to say the right words with perfect timing to empower me to persevere and move forward no matter what the obstacle was in front of me. Everyone faces obstacles in life, but how one handles adversity truly reveals his or her character.

As a husband and father, I'm faced with new adversities and I still find myself thinking of Madame Mhyre often. You never know where a child (or adult) is at in their journey. Speak greatness into others because your words can change lives and, as a result, change the world.