Trust your 9-iron

As a freshman in college, I sat in my dorm room glued to the television during the 1999 Players Championship at TPC Sawgrass.  I watched in anticipation as the leaders approached the signature par-3 17th hole that included the famous island green.  The layout requires individuals to "drive the green."  As a result, there's a treasure trove of lost golf balls at the bottom of the bright blue lake.

That day, the hole played a little longer than 130-yards and the pin placement was near the front of the green.  There wasn't much room to play with.  Fred Couples was one of golf's premier players and he approached the hole with a 9-iron.  He hit the ball "fat" and ended up in the drink.  Without hesitation, he grabbed another ball, but kept his 9-iron.  The announcer said something along the lines of how Couples was a professional and knew his 130-yard club was indeed the 9-iron.  There was no second guessing his club selection despite hitting one into the water only moments before he teed up again.  In fact, in 1997 Couples was one of only six players in history to earn a hole-in-one on the 17th.  His confidence wasn't rattled because he knew exactly who he was and what he had.

What happened next?  Perfect swing with the 9-iron and a Bridgestone balata slam dunk.  No bounce, no spin, no roll; nothing but the bottom of the cup.  A penalty stroke for going in the water resulted in a par for Couples.  He went on to win the tournament.

This was a valuable lesson for me as an athlete and coach.  Often times, when faced with adversity like Couples on the 17th, we go to the bag and consider another club.  We doubt the game plan.  We question our strengths in moments when they don't seem so strong.  We wonder who we are and it forces us to reconsider what we're doing.  Real champions take ownership for mistakes, but they don't question who they are.  Couples didn't go to the bag or ask his caddy if he should grab another club.  He knew exactly who he was and what his strengths were.  Couples knew he needed his 9-iron at 130.  There was never a doubt.  When you know who you are, you know what to do. 

Picnic in the park

"Oh!  Penguins?  I didn't know they make penguins."  This is what I hear while I spread out a queen-sized comforter littered with flowers under a big shade tree.  We're on a picnic in the park.

Periodically, I like to write about the intriguing sub-culture of daytime parenting.  It's a unique world chockfull of stereotypes and happenings the rest of the world is completely unaware of.

As we settle in, two moms on a play date discuss the evolving topic of cheddar flavored snack crackers.  Penguins?  That's right, it's no longer just miniature goldfish on the shelves.  You could assemble a snack cracker zoo with the abundance of options available today.  This doesn't even include other phenomenal choices like the Spider-Man or Scrabble shapes made by Cheez-It. 

There's a lot to consider when shopping for snack crackers.  Are they made with real cheddar?  Do they have partially hydrogenated oils?  Is a form of sugar in the ingredients list?  Are they organic?  Does my child even like bunnies or fish or penguins?  Enriched white or whole wheat flour?  Is enriched flour even real?  Is it a hoax?  Is it bad for my kids?  Is it bad for me?  When is Kashi going to make snack crackers?  By the way, you can find the penguins at Walgreens under the Nice! brand, just in case the zoo sounds appealing. 

Daytime parenting is vastly rich in many categories, including quality of life.  After all, you have the opportunity to watch your kids learn and grow day-by-day, hour-by-hour.  It's not extraordinarily rich in deep and meaningful conversations, though.  It's not as intellectually stimulating as, say, just about anything else.  But that's not what counts.  Comparing and contrasting the diets of your children generally tops the conversational list for buzzing mothers around lunchtime at every location.

"Do you want to go on here?  Do you want to go on the 'duck butt,'" my four year old says to his brother as he invites him to ride the spring-loaded teeter-totter.  The seat looks exactly like the lower half of a yellow duck, probably on purpose.  A few of the mothers aren't as impressed with the metaphor as I am, though.  In fact, they seem appalled by the potty mouth on my sweet little boy (OMG, did I say potty in front of her kids..?).  Almost instantly, my two-year old is falling off the duck butt and making a fuss.  I thought it would be best to let him figure it out, but one of the helicopter moms felt compelled to save his life in dramatic fashion.  Her play date starred at me through her over-sized sunglasses in utter disapproval.  She was the same one with the penguins.  They have 0 trans fats, you know?  Clearly she's favored to win the highly touted parenting award today.  I'm in last place, tied with the elderly woman watching her grandson eat sand.  My boys had Capri Sun, for crying out loud.  Even though the packaging says 100% juice, Im pretty sure that disqualified me today.   She congregates with with two other women and I'm pretty sure they're discussing a route for an intervention, but instead I overhear them talking about how one of their little girls lost her plastic ring in the sand.

Meanwhile, Isaiah is making friends with a few kids.  That seems to be his modus operandi in public places.  He's an extraverted social butterfly.  He's trying to explain to another dad that you can climb up either side of the ladder.  He should have been explaining that white linen pants are never a good idea at the park.  He's wearing a t-shirt that says "Burrito."  It's an interesting combination and makes me wish River Falls had a Chipotle.  Isaiah keeps talking and talking and Burrito keeps ignoring and ignoring.  I wanted to tell him to listen to the kid.  My kid.  It was like he was trying to show his little girl what it looks like to not talk to strangers.  He's heeding his own advice on that one.  Isaiah's not phased.  He moves on.

The general theme on days like this is every parent at the park should win a prize for spending the day with their kiddos and there is definitely no top parent award no matter how badly some strive for that title.  Remember Big Sungalsses?  The one with the judgmental stares and unrealistically healthy snacks?  Well, her "gemstone" of a son started wreaking havoc on the jungle gym.  He was the biggest one of the 10-15 kids and made a habit out of pushing his brother down in the sand.  When it was "her turn" and all the parents looked to see how she handled disciplinary issues, I'm not making any judgments.  I don't need to, she's noticeably embarrassed.  I'm sure she wants all of us to think this is uncharacteristic of her son, but I know it's not.  Let's be real, he's a 6-year old boy.

Hey, Burrito found the ring.  I guess he will talk to strangers if the right situation presents itself.

It was plenty warm and around 1:00.  The children's happy hour has turned into crabby corner.  When the majority of parents begin dreaming of their own happy hour, it's time to go.  Nap time.  Dora the Explorer Applesauce Squeezers anyone?  I think so...they're "all natural."  Read the package.

Victory School of Wrestling, Chapter 3

Last week we turned the page and started a new chapter in the life of Victory School of Wrestling.  We successfully made the transition from our Main Street location to the new wrestling room at River Falls Meyer Middle School.  The Victory Training Center was home to Victory for more than six years.  A lot of blood, sweat and tears were spilled over the wrestling mats in that spacious room and many lives were changed in that location.

We opened the doors at 125 1/2 N. Main St. on March 1st, 2007 with a lot of momentum and positive energy.  It took months of construction and detail to turn old racquetball courts into a world class training environment for wrestlers of all ages and ability levels.  We hosted over 2,000 practices for almost 1,000 athletes during this span (yes, I do remember nearly all of them by name).  We challenged individuals physically, mentally and spiritually.  We helped develop world team members, national champions, state champions, conference champions and champions of many significant events.  We also helped athletes make important life decisions, including "crossing the line of faith" (E-Team) and stepping up and taking on responsibilities while becoming the men and women they're created to be - champions off the mat.  I can say with confidence that everyone who walked up those stairs on the way to practice walked back down positively influenced in one way or another.

Aesop, the ancient Greek fabulist, wrote, "After all is said and done, more is said than done."  Given that I open and close every practice with a short message, a lot was said in over six years at the Victory Training Center on Main Street in River Falls.  However, looking at this period of time in hindsight, much more was actually done than said.

At Victory School of Wrestling, we say wrestling is not who we are; it's what we do.  I've been obsessed with the wrestling mat since I was a little kid.  I'm secure in the fact that my identity comes from who God says I am and not what others say or what I do.  With that said, God has used the sport of wrestling to shape my life and He used our space on Main St. to solidify much of what I stand for.  He's put wrestling in the lives of these young men and women to help mold them, too, and the Victory Training Center has been a significant part of that process for many.

Moving to a new location also signifies a move into a new chapter of Victory School of Wrestling, chapter 3, if you will.  We started in the basement of my house before moving to Main St. in River Falls.  Now, we're in another new space with new goals.  The scenery is different, but one thing still remains: lives that will positively be influenced will inevitably contribute to an eternity.

Kid's State Perspective

I managed to find a quaint corner in the Alliant Energy Center in Madison as we have a short break at the WWF Kid's Folkstyle State Tournament.  I like to reflect on my role and everything that is happening around me when I'm in coaching mode.  This tournament provides an incredible opportunity for many athletes, coaches and parents and I try to maintain a healthy perspective all weekend.

I enjoy going from mat to mat watching wrestlers pour their heart and soul into the sport they love.  As wrestlers, they love to compete.  It's the grind, the fight, that fuels their fire.  Within the realm of competition, those who experience the most success and love for the sport focus on the process.

A parent of an athlete I used to coach asked me how our wrestlers were doing today.  Generally, I respond with the cliche answer: good.  I felt compelled to answer it truthfully this time, though, because I knew what she was asking.  I said, "you know, I have no idea.  It actually doesn't matter to me."  It's true.  It doesn't matter to me.  At sporting events, that question is solely asking if you won or lost, or if you're team is winning more than losing.  How's it going usually means: What place did you take?  Did you win?  What's your record?  That's how sports is too often measured and I don't measure success that way.

I'm competitive (probably more than most).  I love winning and hate losing, however, I measure success by how one approaches competition, not on the outcome alone.  If you control what you can control - attitude and effort - and focus on the process, the outcome is more likely to be desirable than if you're focal point is the outcome.  A concerted effort is required to maintain this perspective because it doesn't come naturally.

The first year I ventured to Kid's State as the Victory School of Wrestling coach, I thought this event provided a unique opportunity to market our brand.  We made t-shirts with names of the qualifiers squeezed on the back.  I was determined to have the most athletes in the tournament of any club in the state.  And we did - 53.  I encouraged athletes to put "Victory School of Wrestling" as their club name on the registration form because we wanted everyone to be sure that we were the best club and it was free advertising.  As I sat mat side that year, I realized that I was operating far outside of my core values as a coach and program.  Of course, I communicated to our athletes that we weren't focused on the outcome, however, our actions indicated otherwise.  I re-evaluated our approach and made a conscious decision to not focus on the outcome.  The number of state qualifiers is not a reliable indicator for the health and success of a youth wrestling club.  There are just too many factors that aren't included in that number.

How many kids do we have down here?  I don't know.  How is Victory doing down here?  If you're referring to wins and loses, then I don't know.  I don't know on purpose.  I try hard not to know.  What I can tell you is the athletes I've been mat side with are enjoying this opportunity.  They're growing as young men and women.  They're having fun and they know, without hesitation, that tomorrow is Sunday regardless of the outcome of today.  Win or lose, they're better today than they were yesterday.  So, if that's what you're asking, then it's going great!

Once a Wildcat, always a Wildcat

This week the news of my transition into the high school coaching world became official.  I'll be the head wrestling coach at River Falls High School, my alma mater, for the 2013-14 season.  This is a role that I've been interested in since I was in middle school and God's perfect timing has created a unique opportunity that will allow me to dive into this adventure while maintaining my identity and standards as a husband, father and coach.

I've spent the last 8 months discussing how I can best be involved with the future of this program with the administration.  We've been putting together necessary pieces of the puzzle in order to take important steps in a new direction that will enable River Falls Wrestling to become a prominent program once again.  As this time had been approaching, I was eager to engage in the many challenges ahead.  I've also been intrigued by the opportunities to learn and grow.  Learning on the job didn't take long. 

If I stacked up my accomplishments in the sport of wrestling, assuming the role of head coach for a disjointed and flailing high school program wouldn't climb very high up the list.  However, I've been flooded with congratulatory messages, words of encouragement and good fortune and support from many important and prominent figures in my life as well as a variety of random individuals, some who I've never met.  It's been quite the humbling experience.  It plainly shows me that people still care about this program and that high school athletics are extremely important.  They're important to athletes, parents, coaches, administrators and the entire community.  Often times, the discourse is drowned by a culture that supports a non-competive, participatory mindset, but deep down, the competitive nature of high school sports is still very important to people no matter how much it's down played.  People want to be a part of something successful and high school athletics often defines much of a community's identity.  It's extremely evident that this community is hungry for a successful wrestling program.

Within the past three weeks, I've been nationally recognized for achieving my gold level certification as a part of the National Coaches Education Program and had my third child, however, I've received much more praise for taking the reigns of the River Falls wrestling program.  High school coaches are important to a community because they directly affect the lives of many individuals and they're tangible; they're real.  The allure of national or international success can't be shared as easily in the check-out line at the grocery store.  An addition to my family doesn't have nearly the impact in our community as the addition of quality coach.  Humility sinks in when you realize the world doesn't revolve around you and no one person is bigger than a community who believes in a program.   

Athletic programs in high schools are great complimentary activities to a quality education and they benefit the entire community, not just a coach or a student involved.  They're more than fun or wins and loses.  They're tools to help students learn about life.  They develop a competitive spirit in student-athletes, an attitude that helps them in a modern competitive job market.  It's also difficult to find something that has the potential to humble an individual the way high school athletics can since they're about contributing to something greater than one self.

So, here we go.  We're on our way.  Everything has come full circle...once a Wildcat, always a Wildcat.

Sow the seed

The mayhem of the youth tournament series begins tomorrow with the Kid's Folkstyle State Regionals.  Almost 4,000 athletes will come together in eight separate locations across Wisconsin in an attempt to qualify for the Kid's Folkstyle State Tournament held in Madison in two weeks (over 600 in River Falls alone).  Thrown into the mix for many of these families in the coming weeks are trips to Wisconsin Dells for the Dominate in the Dells tournament and Cedar Falls, IA for the USAW Folkstyle National Championships.

A parent told me last night that he thinks there is more pressure surrounding this event than the state qualifiers for high school athletes.  It's a month that can become a pressure cooker for the youth athletes.

Of course, Victory School of Wrestling offers the "Regional Warm-Up," a program designed to introduce youth athletes to the concept of training for an event.  It's one of the most successful programs we have and I fully recognize the potential it has to "feed the monster" and create still more stress.  That's why it's crucial that we talk about maintaining a healthy perspective to athletes and parents.

In light of healthy perspectives, just imagine the stress that a 10-year old boy could carry over these several weeks.  Mom and Dad have had the hotel rooms reserved and submitted vacation days at work in anticipation of the weeks to come.  Unfortunately, in some degree, the happiness of his family is unintentionally dependent on his success this weekend.  I haven't met a parent that puts this on their children on purpose, however, as adults we have a responsibility to communicate our intentions clearly in order to maintain that important perspective.  This stress is not a hypothetical conversation for many of these families.

A healthy message to a youth athlete is only genuine when it comes from those who are actively practicing the principle of sowing the seed.   There are too many people who sow seeds and lose sight of it when it goes underground.  Often times they dig it up the next day frustrated nothing has happened.  Everyone who sows seeds understand there's a period that growth isn't directly seen; there appears to be no results.  They know that because the seed was properly sown, growth is indeed happening and it takes time to take root and germinate.  Sowing seeds is what youth wrestling is about and we have to be careful to keep that front and center this weekend.

We like things that are measurable, have immediate feedback or things we can count, with progress and cycles, etc.  There are a lot of adults who want to reap right now when, in fact, the seeds are still taking root.  Youth tournaments are part of a process.  In the sports culture it's easy to lose sight of the process because we underestimate the importance of the daily grind and over estimate the rewards.

This weekend isn't about collecting on our investments.  It's not about reaping what sow.  It can't be.  Not yet.  These young athletes are still growing.  They're still trying to take root.  They're not ready for the harvest.  It's our responsibility to make sure those roots are cultivated in fertile ground

It's time to wake-up in the wrestling world

I don't like it, but sometimes the truth hurts.  Sometimes looking in the mirror is difficult and way too revealing.  So we look away.  We search for others to quickly blame in order to feel like the victim.   The decision by the IOC has served as a wake-up call, but after three days, we're still sleeping.  As a wrestling community, we're failing to see that we played a giant role in this decision and, until we face the facts, we're destined to lose again.

First of all, I'll affirm everyone's claims that the IOC is a corrupt political organization looking out for itself and following the all mighty dollar.  However, that doesn't give us license to dismiss responsibility in all of this.  If we dare to look at this situation through the eyes of the IOC, there just might be logic to their decision.  And that might be the start to identifying a few of our own problems.

As a wrestling community, it's not wise to believe all of us have a "voice."  With all due respect, petitions and Facebook 'likes' will do very little in restoring wrestling.  A petition to the President of the United States, really?  That's what we're going with?  Remember how excited the IOC was to hear from Barak Obama in Copenhagen in 2009 for the Chicago Olympics bid?  Have you ever seen a Facebook presence by FILA?  Now, we're taking it to Facebook.  Too little, too late.  That's not how the world works and it's not how America works anymore, either.  Jacques Rogge might feel pressure or hear the complaints, but it will pass in time.  We've entirely missed the big picture if this is how we're planning on fighting for the sport that we love.  We all must choose to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem and if it is going to be reinstated, it's going to take personal relationships with IOC members.  That's not about using our "voice."

As I mentioned, sometimes the truth hurts.  Here's the truth:

• The Associated Press has reported that wrestling ranked low in general popularity scoring just below 5 on a scale of 10  (pentathlon scored 5.2 on the same scale).  We aren't relevant; plain and simple.

• Wrestling has always ranked low in TV, internet hits and press coverage ratings.  It's an extremely difficult sport to watch given the inconsistent and subjective rules.  Olympic wrestling is boring.  It's just not good for TV with the current rules and people don't understand it.  Swimming, gymnastics, figure skating, etc. are easy to watch and understand even if you've never competed in it.

• Wrestling sold 113,851 tickets in London out of 116,854 available at a Games where most events were selling out.

• The IOC report also observed that FILA has no athletes on its decision-making bodies, no women's commission, no ethics rules for technical officials and no medical official on its executive board.

• As previously stated, FILA has basically been invisible on social media outlets like Facebook and Twitter.  Their website is impossible to navigate (even for a wrestling junky like myself) and major international events are basically unreported.  Even their URL is confusing.  It was recently www.fila-wrestling.org, but now it's www.fila-official.com. 

Wrestling wasn't blind sided, either.  The media and general public may not have seen it coming, but there's no way it should have been a surprise to the international wrestling federations.  I've known for quite some time that the IOC has been talking about eliminating Greco-Roman wrestling.  Failure to take that seriously is nothing less than arrogance on the part of FILA and the entire international wrestling community.  Pentathlon had known since 2002 and made progressive change to be in the favor of the IOC.  Wrestling did the opposite.  Pentathlon was also successful in getting someone on the IOC board (Juan Antonia Samarach, Jr.).  FILA did virtually nothing of the sort and everything I've heard is they've never made a push to get someone on the board.  So why expect a different result?

Look at it from the IOC perspective - logically, not emotionally.  Has wrestling grown in the past 10 years?  Compare it to, say lacrosse or soccer in the US.  Since the inclusion of women's wrestling in the Olympics in 2004, major universities across the US have added numerous women's varsity programs, including beach volleyball and lacrosse.  By contrast, the number of Division 1 women's wrestling programs: zero.  Closely related is the fact that college wrestling programs are being dropped annually as a result not offering a comparable opportunity for female athletes and the three-prong test of Title IX (number 2: expansion of athletic opportunities for the underrepresented sex).

The IOC (yes, the IOC) threw wrestling a bone to grow wrestling.  They made it completely comprehensible to offer wrestling to the other 50% of the world's population.  Free of charge, they gave us the single best opportunity to grow.  We took the bone and buried it in the back yard.  I can count on one had the number of individuals who have gone into the trenches for women's since 2004.  Wrestling pulled the victim card instead of seeing it as the opportunity for international growth and influence.  Remember the poster with Bruce Baumgartner and Tim Vanni that said "Any Body Can Wrestle."  Can they?  Can Iran really say wrestling is for everyone?  Can the US, for that matter?  We've refused to invest the necessary resources and manpower into real growth and we throw pentathlon under the bus for being about only a certain echelon of society?

Wrestling was in ancient Olympics and has been in the modern Olympics since the beginning.  It's globally diverse and Olympic medals are won by every ethnic background.  This is important, for sure.  It's not going to keep us in the match, though.  We have to become relevant.  We have to get with the times.  We have to show the world what we have to offer right now and in the future, not just where we've been in the past.

One of the ideals I've learned in wrestling is that participating in sports is not a right; it's a privilege.  For the Olympics, that adage rings true.  Wrestling is not exempt from earning it's place in the Olympic Games.  We're not entitled to anything simply because Jacob wrestled an angel of God 4,000 years ago.

We have to wake up.  We have to look at the facts and listen to the truth.  The writing was on the wall and we refused to look at it.  We have to be better than we are today.  Albert Einstein is quoted to say, "Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them."