It's time to wake-up in the wrestling world

I don't like it, but sometimes the truth hurts.  Sometimes looking in the mirror is difficult and way too revealing.  So we look away.  We search for others to quickly blame in order to feel like the victim.   The decision by the IOC has served as a wake-up call, but after three days, we're still sleeping.  As a wrestling community, we're failing to see that we played a giant role in this decision and, until we face the facts, we're destined to lose again.

First of all, I'll affirm everyone's claims that the IOC is a corrupt political organization looking out for itself and following the all mighty dollar.  However, that doesn't give us license to dismiss responsibility in all of this.  If we dare to look at this situation through the eyes of the IOC, there just might be logic to their decision.  And that might be the start to identifying a few of our own problems.

As a wrestling community, it's not wise to believe all of us have a "voice."  With all due respect, petitions and Facebook 'likes' will do very little in restoring wrestling.  A petition to the President of the United States, really?  That's what we're going with?  Remember how excited the IOC was to hear from Barak Obama in Copenhagen in 2009 for the Chicago Olympics bid?  Have you ever seen a Facebook presence by FILA?  Now, we're taking it to Facebook.  Too little, too late.  That's not how the world works and it's not how America works anymore, either.  Jacques Rogge might feel pressure or hear the complaints, but it will pass in time.  We've entirely missed the big picture if this is how we're planning on fighting for the sport that we love.  We all must choose to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem and if it is going to be reinstated, it's going to take personal relationships with IOC members.  That's not about using our "voice."

As I mentioned, sometimes the truth hurts.  Here's the truth:

• The Associated Press has reported that wrestling ranked low in general popularity scoring just below 5 on a scale of 10  (pentathlon scored 5.2 on the same scale).  We aren't relevant; plain and simple.

• Wrestling has always ranked low in TV, internet hits and press coverage ratings.  It's an extremely difficult sport to watch given the inconsistent and subjective rules.  Olympic wrestling is boring.  It's just not good for TV with the current rules and people don't understand it.  Swimming, gymnastics, figure skating, etc. are easy to watch and understand even if you've never competed in it.

• Wrestling sold 113,851 tickets in London out of 116,854 available at a Games where most events were selling out.

• The IOC report also observed that FILA has no athletes on its decision-making bodies, no women's commission, no ethics rules for technical officials and no medical official on its executive board.

• As previously stated, FILA has basically been invisible on social media outlets like Facebook and Twitter.  Their website is impossible to navigate (even for a wrestling junky like myself) and major international events are basically unreported.  Even their URL is confusing.  It was recently www.fila-wrestling.org, but now it's www.fila-official.com. 

Wrestling wasn't blind sided, either.  The media and general public may not have seen it coming, but there's no way it should have been a surprise to the international wrestling federations.  I've known for quite some time that the IOC has been talking about eliminating Greco-Roman wrestling.  Failure to take that seriously is nothing less than arrogance on the part of FILA and the entire international wrestling community.  Pentathlon had known since 2002 and made progressive change to be in the favor of the IOC.  Wrestling did the opposite.  Pentathlon was also successful in getting someone on the IOC board (Juan Antonia Samarach, Jr.).  FILA did virtually nothing of the sort and everything I've heard is they've never made a push to get someone on the board.  So why expect a different result?

Look at it from the IOC perspective - logically, not emotionally.  Has wrestling grown in the past 10 years?  Compare it to, say lacrosse or soccer in the US.  Since the inclusion of women's wrestling in the Olympics in 2004, major universities across the US have added numerous women's varsity programs, including beach volleyball and lacrosse.  By contrast, the number of Division 1 women's wrestling programs: zero.  Closely related is the fact that college wrestling programs are being dropped annually as a result not offering a comparable opportunity for female athletes and the three-prong test of Title IX (number 2: expansion of athletic opportunities for the underrepresented sex).

The IOC (yes, the IOC) threw wrestling a bone to grow wrestling.  They made it completely comprehensible to offer wrestling to the other 50% of the world's population.  Free of charge, they gave us the single best opportunity to grow.  We took the bone and buried it in the back yard.  I can count on one had the number of individuals who have gone into the trenches for women's since 2004.  Wrestling pulled the victim card instead of seeing it as the opportunity for international growth and influence.  Remember the poster with Bruce Baumgartner and Tim Vanni that said "Any Body Can Wrestle."  Can they?  Can Iran really say wrestling is for everyone?  Can the US, for that matter?  We've refused to invest the necessary resources and manpower into real growth and we throw pentathlon under the bus for being about only a certain echelon of society?

Wrestling was in ancient Olympics and has been in the modern Olympics since the beginning.  It's globally diverse and Olympic medals are won by every ethnic background.  This is important, for sure.  It's not going to keep us in the match, though.  We have to become relevant.  We have to get with the times.  We have to show the world what we have to offer right now and in the future, not just where we've been in the past.

One of the ideals I've learned in wrestling is that participating in sports is not a right; it's a privilege.  For the Olympics, that adage rings true.  Wrestling is not exempt from earning it's place in the Olympic Games.  We're not entitled to anything simply because Jacob wrestled an angel of God 4,000 years ago.

We have to wake up.  We have to look at the facts and listen to the truth.  The writing was on the wall and we refused to look at it.  We have to be better than we are today.  Albert Einstein is quoted to say, "Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them."

Trying to make sense of the IOC and wrestling

February 12th has turned out to be a rather peculiar day in the wrestling world.  The moment the news broke early this morning regarding the decision by the International Olympic Committee to eliminate wrestling from the Olympic Games, the wrestling community was flooded with a wide array of emotions.  Throughout the day, those emotions turned into action in various petitions, Facebook pages, press conferences, talking points and productive dialogue on Internet forums.  By the end of the day, many of the great wrestling minds in the US have declared they're in for the biggest match of their life - reinstating wrestling into the Olympic program.

After sifting through articles by prominent news sources and scouring the talking heads on forums the entire day, I'm now able to look at this situation with a "big picture" view.  I'm slightly more optimistic at the moment than I was early in the morning.  This has the potential to be an important wake-up call for the international and local wrestling communities and has created an opportunity to share why wrestling is a valuable sport at every level, including the Olympic Games.  I have no interest in discrediting the efforts and dreams of other aspiring athletes by degrading the sports the IOC decided to keep instead of wrestling.  Being empathetic, I also don't think the IOC made a terrible decision given the information they had.

The first place the wrestling community needs to look is in the mirror.  Why was wrestling on the chopping block to begin with?  Honest answers to this question can begin the steps to reinstating it in May in St. Petersburg, Russia.  There are many things that I want to bring up in my attempt to answer this question, however, there two specific things I feel I must bring up because I believe they're at the root to the entire downfall that occurred so quickly.

The first is how the FILA (wrestling international governing body) has taken care of itself above wrestling.  Their corruption gave the final death blow.  A glaring example of this hits home for many Americans and it occurred in the 2012 Olympic Games in London.  Jake Herbert (USA) was wrestling Sharif Sharifov of Azerbaijan.  In the second period, Sharifov attempted a double leg attack that was countered by Herbert with a chest lock before the action ended out of bounds.  Confusion on how to score the sequence forced the referee, mat judge and chairman to deliberate resulting in a 5-0 score in favor of Sharifov.  Zeke Jones, the US coach, followed protocol and challenged the scoring.  The video was reviewed and the officiating jury concluded the score should be 3-3.  According to FILA, protocol was followed and the score of 3-3 should have been final according to the rules, however, FILA Bureau Member Kim Ik-Jong unilaterally changed the call to 6-0 in favor of Sharifov (1 additional point for the failed challenge) ending the match.  Tragically, no one was surprised or was able to act on this blatant corruption.  A few tried to interfere with the man coming down from the stands who held up the scoring bats/paddles.  On the world's largest stage, the IOC witnessed one of its International Federations circumvent the rules of its own sport.

After years of corruption, countless rule changes, general stubbornness and blatant sexism, the actions of Kim Ik-Jong may have been the straw that broke the camel's back in the eyes of the IOC.  Can you blame them?  In 2009, I was in the corner for Deanna Rix when an utterly unexplainable scoring interpretation reversed a call that resulted in Rix losing the bronze medal bout and giving it to her opponent from Azerbaijan.  This occurred only moments after a similar situation happened in a match that featured Tatiana Padilla against an Azerbaijan athlete resulting in a bronze medal for Azerbaijan and the eventual team title.  Coincidently, the two corporate sponsors for the 2009 World Championships were companies from Azerbaijan.

The second thing that I believe has led to this decision is the unwillingness to accept women's wrestling at all levels from grassroots to the Olympics.  Sure, they added it into the Olympic program, even trimming a few men's weight classes in the process.  Adding women's wrestling events is much different than actually supporting it, though.   Women's wrestling has been an after thought in the wrestling community at all levels.  Through 2005, the FILA even gave the "prettiest wrestler" award to the female athlete they found most attractive.  They don't respect women athletes.  After three Olympic cycles that have included women's wrestling, many countries have yet to or refuse to participate.  Most of the countries that do have very little support from their federation.  There's an overall apprehension towards women's wrestling across the entire wrestling community that is manifested at the highest level.  It all gets brushed under the rug.  Even within the US, prominent wrestling figures and coaches are adamantly opposed to women's wrestling in spite of its Olympic inclusion.

Take into account that the 2012 Olympic Games were heralded as the "women's Games" by many and the head of the IOC, Jacques Rogge, noted with pride in his speech at the opening ceremony that it was a "a major boost for gender equality."  Tell me the IOC hasn't noticed how the FILA has handled women's wrestling.  I can envision conversations discussing how the wrestling community has done very little to advance and grow women's wrestling.  And we're still left wondering how the IOC can make this decision?  Many of the countries hurt most by the decision to drop wrestling will join the worldwide discussion and plead to reinstate it.  Iran claims wrestling is it's national sport.  Turkey's Olympic identity is in wrestling; the same is true for many Eastern European and former Soviet countries.  How will Iran respond when the IOC asks them why they only participate in 2/3 of the Olympic program?  Oppressing women is not part of the Olympic movement.

I'm not surprised by this decision.  I'm upset with the wrestling community, particularly FILA for not thinking of the future, but I'm not surprised by what the IOC has done.  Yes, wrestling was in the first Olympics and it's one of the world's oldest sports with a rich history, but what does wrestling have to offer the future?  History is fascinating, but it doesn't cast a vision of forward thinking.  This century is about right now and the future, not about a storied past and a historical presence.

The unfortunate part is all of this could have been avoided.  It was within our control as a wrestling community and we've blown it.  We could have built a system with the future in mind.  I hope we're able to look in the mirror and evaluate who we are as a community and who our leaders are.  Moving forward, this could be an opportunity to do it right.  We can't wait to see which way the wind blows on this one.

The new wrestling phenomenon

The ascend to the state wrestling tournaments began last weekend.  The format used in Wisconsin includes a Regional tournament, an individual sectional tournament the following weekend and the individual state tournament the weekend after that.  In between the regional tournament and individual sectional tournament is the team sectional (Tuesday).  The team state tournament is one week after the individual state tournament.

This year has presented a unique set of circumstances for a number of wrestlers and wrestling fans.  It's crucial that we discuss what has led to these if we desire to see this sport grow.  I fear that we're "cutting off our nose in spite of our faces" and we're beginning to see detrimental consequences to our short sightedness.  In some cases (maybe most cases), I'm only speculating, however, more times than not, where there's smoke, there's fire.

I browsed through the individual rankings and last weekend there were 19 ranked or previously ranked athletes who did not participate at the Regional tournament.  With limited research on internet forums and Facebook, it's safe to conclude that nearly all of them were due to injuries that occurred late in the season (this number doesn't include athletes who had season ending injuries prior to Christmas).  Some of these athletes suffered concussions and were not cleared to compete.  In 2011, legislation began on Wisconsin Act 172, better known as the Youth Athlete Concussion Law.  It was passed last summer and has been in full effect during the 2012-13 wrestling season.  As a result, medical professionals, coaches and parents have been much less lenient on allowing athletes to participate with concussion symptoms.  I support the impact this law has had on youth sports, but there's more here than concussions.

The number of "elite" athletes (based on rankings) that are sidelined for the tournament series seems to be uncharacteristically high.  Add to this the number of unranked athletes that didn't participate and the large number of injuries has almost become a phenomenon.  Of course, many previously undiagnosed concussions that are now diagnosed affect this number.  Another interesting piece of the puzzle is how prevalent it was to see individuals move UP one or more weight classes.  Historically, wrestlers "drop" a weight class at the end of the season (a practice I generally don't promote).  Based on the ranking this year, more actually went up for the regional tournament than went.  Obviously, I don't know the reason behind every weight change.  I know some wanted to fit into a weight class that provided more opportunities for success.

I believe the major contributing factor to the increase in injuries, regardless of the concussion law, is the rigorous competition schedules.  Nearly 75% of ranked athletes in Wisconsin have already competed in over 40 matches.  Over 25% have more than 45 matches with 2-3 weekends left of the season.  Many of the individuals who have over 40 matches have competed in some of the nation's toughest tournaments (WI holiday tournaments, The Clash, Cheesehead, etc.); sometimes in consecutive weeks.  It's gone past the old adage, "it's making them tougher" as it's made them susceptible to a significantly increased number of over-use injuries.  Neck problems, back problems and aches and pains are not normal for teenaged athletes.  Acute sports injuries will always occur (sprained ankles, broken hands, etc.) as they're part of the inherent risks of competition.  Chronic sports injuries, on the other hand, occur when there is a lack of foresight from athletes, leaders (coaches, administrators) and parents.

Is it possible that our high school wrestling season is too long?  Does the WIAA allow for too many competitions?  Are chronic sports injuries a result of negligent and uneducated coaches and parents?  Is it possible that the attitude that coincides with mental toughness in "working through" injuries is antiquated?  Are we really doing what's best for these teenagers?

Of course, there are parents and coaches who assure us that the rigors of high school athletics are part of life.  They're convinced that competitions ultimately make athletes better (instead of properly training and evaluating) regardless of the toll it takes on a body.  I'm inclined to think otherwise, especially considering how the rigors of everything else they're doing has ramped up.  The demands of a successful academic schedule, other sports, strength training, etc. have squeezed out the margin for error and, unfortunately, we haven't raised our awareness or standards within the wrestling community to compensate for it.  Hence, we have state powerhouses with half of their starting line-up on the bench during tournament time and others underperforming when it matters most.  It's clear that athletes, coaches, parents, athletic trainers, etc. are worn out.

The wrestling community can begin the steer the ship in the right direction by engaging in important conversations and remaining objective about it all.  The length of the season - when it begins and concludes - needs to be on the table.  How the post season is approached needs to be in the conversation as well.  Tuesday night team sectionals are not good for wrestling.  One of my athletes was injured on a Tuesday night and was forced to withdraw from individual sectionals as a 42-0 senior and I experienced 7 hours in a bus on a school night (3 1/2 hours each way) as a junior in high school that night.  There can be a better way.  We can save athletes and save wrestling.

The principle of the path says that direction determines destination.  The path that you're on determines where you'll end up.  It's not your hopes, dreams, goals, ambitions or intentions that get you to the place you're going or where you'll end up; it's the path that you're on.  

Wrestling community, we're on a path and it's going to lead somewhere.  Is that somewhere really where we want to be?

Manhood and motivation

I appreciate those who read the previous blog post about Manhood and the movies.  It has become one of the most viewed posts on this site and I appreciate the feedback.   I'm on a quest, if you will, and I'm searching hard to discover what real manhood is.  I owe it my children and my athletes to get it right and spur them on in the right direction.  It goes without saying, but it's also crucial for me to continue growing as a man.  Not so much for me as an individual, but for me as a husband, father, brother, friend, coach, etc.  

I've continually sought wise council and looked into what others have to say about manhood and I've looked into many different resources and publications.  Some have been helpful and insightful while others have not.  Generally speaking, I've discovered that one of the quintessential ingredients to manhood involves Biblical truth.  I'm not suggesting that an individual must hold a specific world view or adopt a new paradigm or profession of faith to be a man.  The truth (and Truth) is true whether you agree with it or not, believe in it, or are even aware of it at all.  Many of the resources on manhood that I'm inclined to agree with have a faith element to them, yet others elude to similar principles without emphasizing elements of faith.  One of the major principles of real manhood deals with motivation and purpose.

Why do we do what we do?  And why are we here?

These are questions that every man wrestles with in one way or the other.  For the purposes of defining manhood, the answers aren't as crucial as the ethereal process.  Those who honestly seek to answer both questions come up with versions of the answer: it's not all about me.

Real men have a healthy sense of purpose and their motivation is significant enough to impact them to act or move.

Many of the motivating factors that I heard growing up dealt with individual "happiness."  When it was time to make grown-up decisions, it was: go to the school that feels right - as long as you're "happy."  Date or marry the person that makes you "happy."  Need to choose a career path?  What will make you "happy?"  I recall a friend of mine in college who was in a dead end relationship.  It was clear to me at the time and I was inevitably right because it indeed ended.  I challenged him about it, but he rested on his mother's continual reassurance that it was alright as long he was "happy."  The politically correct way to avoid holding a guy responsible in a dead end relationship is by saying he doesn't need to find Mrs. Right right now, as long as he's happy it's all good.   Happiness seemed to be the motivation for many of the guys I grew up with.  Unfortunately, many of them are still trying to make themselves happy and have yet to contribute to society in a meaningful way.  Some are still single, some have foreclosed on [several] homes/property, some are still using others in their quest for happiness and most still haven't found it and appear to be unmotivated in their 30's.  The motivation of happiness isn't sustainable.  It leaves us short of what we were created for - to have an impact or leave the world better when we're gone than it was when we arrived.  There's more to your life than being happy.

Freelance writer Robert Brault said, "Never ask, 'what reason do I have to be happy?'  Instead, ask 'To what purpose can I attach my happiness."  Some argue that we have no purpose, however, the best seller's list is chock-full of books about the meaning/purpose of life.  A movie that involves a character without purpose won't make a splash at the box offices.  If there's no purpose to life, then what's the purpose of writing (and reading) about it?  If nothing else, the purpose of life is to have a life of purpose.  If your life isn't on purpose, then are you're living it by accident.

I know people that are in marriages, houses, career paths, etc. and they're living a life that, sort of, just happened to them.  They don't know how they got to where they were.  Their job was initially temporary as they were seeking "happiness" by living in the moment and, before they knew, life happened.  Accidentally.  It wasn't on purpose because they didn't live with purpose.  Their motivation to be happy was lackluster and they accidentally found themselves being someone other than what they expected of themselves.  They let themselves down.   And they let humanity down.  But...as long as they're happy...

Ultimately, I believe our maximum motivation comes from a life that is fully alive seeking to have an impact for the Glory of God.  I could list several passages from the Bible or quote Christian authors attesting to that claim.  However, below are few quotes from "secular" authors and resources that point to the principles of purpose and motivation (or passion) and, basically, that it's not all about me; and it's not all about you.

Manhood and the movies

As we head into tournament time during the high school wrestling season, we're focusing on what it means to be a man.  I use a lot of different resources to put together our vision for manhood.  Many boys and young men hear others instructing them to "be a man," however, many of them don't exactly know what that means.

Our vision comes primarily from four points used in Raising A Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis.  A real man rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously and expects a greater reward.  We expand on these points by striving to live for something bigger than ourselves or having a "transcendent cause" (expecting a greater reward).  Additionally, we believe that real men are contributors, not consumers and protect others.  

If we expect our boys to become men, we have to lay out a clear vision of what that means.  If they're left to discover what a man is on their own, they'll likely base their ideas on what others tell them and might miss the mark entirely.  Unfortunately, there aren't many quality influences lining up to tell them what it means to be a man.  Instead, they hear from society, television, radio and other places to drink this to be a man or drive that to be a man.  Take the opportunity to watch the commercials during the Super Bowl this weekend and evaluate if they're telling boys that their manhood is defined by what they consume or the contributions they make.  I assure you, the message will be loud and clear.  Hollywood offers a few heroic stories of manhood, but it doesn't get much clearer in the movies, either.

A typical story line in today's movies features a guy who has to overcome adversity or fight the patriarchy or "bad guys."  Once he is successful, he collects his rewards, which more than likely is a female character who is drawn to him after he is successful.  Sure, there are glimpses of quality life lessons in movies, but they're few and far between.

The Bechdel Test was created by Alison Bechdel as a way to identify gender bias in fiction.  It goes like this:  1. There are at least two [named] women in it; 2. who talk to each other; 3. about something besides a man.  Try this test on your favorite movies.  What does Hollywood tell our boys (and our girls) about how the world works?

Why is this relevant when we talk about manhood?  Of the 100 top movies from 2011, only 11 had a female protagonist.  This discovery shouldn't surprise us and really has little to do with manhood by itself.  However, consider that 1 in every 4 women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime.  That's tragic considering how many victims there are.  The other piece of the puzzle, though, is that there are a lot of assailants behind those statistics.  What has shaped them?  The general message in movie is that the males' job is to defeat the bad guys and collect their reward, which is usually a female who doesn't talk to anyone.  There's potential that our boys are taking the message of these movies too seriously.  I'm not claiming there's a direct cause-and-effect correlation, however, if we're actively and passively teaching boys to exhibit their power without restraint, they will take what they want.  We have a responsibility to give these boys a clear vision of manhood that includes protecting others (especially women).

A survey of 11-14 year old kids from the NYC Alliance Against Sexual Assault found that:

• 51% of boys and 41% of girls believe that a man has a right to force a woman to kiss him if he "spent a lot of money on her."
• 32% of boys and girls say it is not improper for a man to rape a woman who has had past sexual experiences.
• 87% of boys and 79% of girls said rape is okay if a man and woman are married.
• 47% of all those surveyed said it was okay for a man to rape a woman he has been dating for more than 6 months.

These stats are alarming, to say the least.  Also, consider that 35% of college men indicated some likelihood that they would rape if they could be assured of not getting caught.  Where does this come from?

Again, I'm not suggesting that movies are the root of these attitudes and tendencies, but shouldn't we be making a more concerted effort to protect the hearts and minds of our children more than we are right now?  We're not going to change Hollywood or what kind of movies lead at the box office, however, we can create a new discourse and talk about what it means to be a man rather than passively allowing our boys to look to movies for heroes while failing to consider the long-term repercussions.  We must help our boys (and girls) learn how to protect what goes in so that we can protect what comes out.

Be on guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. - 1 Corinthians 16:13


Posted on the Raising A Modern Day Knight's Facebook page today:

Luke 2:52 ~ "And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in the favor with God and men."  There is no better way to describe a young person's development.  As parents, we long to see our children grow mentally (wisdom), physically (stature), spiritually (in favor with God), and socially (in favor with others).  Make this part of your daily prayer for your son.

The Bucket List

Before I got married, I made a fancy booklet for Liz of "100 Things to Do Before You Die."  Together, we've tried to do each one, almost like a Bucket List.   Some of the list included things like "Fall in love."  Check.  Other items are to visit a famous site like "The Great Wall of China."  Check.  There are a few prominent events like "Watch the launch of a space shuttle" or "Run a marathon."  Check, check (truth be told, Liz ran a marathon and I biked along side her).  I also included important milestones that we have checked like "Buy your own house and make it exactly what you want" and "Look into the eyes of your child, see yourself, and smile."

We keep the little booklet on the refrigerator as a friendly reminder to continue chasing our dreams and pursuing each other in of love.  We did the Disney thing, watched a baseball game in an outdoor park, spent New Year's in an exotic location, been to a large rock n' roll concert, grown a garden, had our portrait painted, found jobs that we love, etc.  We've enjoyed the process.  There have been a few items on the list that we've had the opportunity to experience on our own.  I visited a concentration camp a couple of years ago and Liz went to Neuschwanstein Castle.  We brought home souvenirs, though.

Now that we have a couple of children (and a third one just around the corner), most of our energy goes towards doing things as a family.  And it should.  Our kids have already experienced a lot that life has to offer.  Pontoon boats, sewerage treatment plants, swing sets and towers made of markers that go all the way to the ceiling fancy them right now.  We're excited to embark on many of life's great journeys with them, but we won't forget the valuable time with just the two of us.

Last summer we spent a week in the Portland, Oregon area.  We saw Mt. St. Helen's (one of the most underrated attractions in the US, by the way), did an 'official' Goonies pilgrimage to Astoria.  We also strolled up and down the Pacific Coast Scenic Byway and saw every major site feature in the movie as well as a few from the Twilight series.

This coming summer will require a lot of juggling to get our annual getaway set-up.  On the cover of our little booklet is a vintage advertisement from Hershey's Chocolate of a cute little girl with a bob haircut giving a little boy a Hershey's Kiss.  It looks like he's anticipating a different kind of kiss.  The catchphrase is "A Kiss for You."  I'd like to visit the Hershey's Factory and other Chocolate World attractions.  I suppose we could even bring the kids.  There is a piece of that puzzle that the kids wouldn't appreciate as much as Mom and Dad, though.  How does a chocolate fondue body wrap at the spa at Hotel Hershey sound?  I'm almost willing to bet that for my 9-month pregnant wife, she'd prefer the spa treatment to anything else in the world, except maybe a chocolate factory...maybe I'll get to check Hershey, PA off the list this year.

Lance: Forgiven

I took a few days to let the smoke settle after the Lance Armstrong interview to give my final assessment.  I had many productive and informative discussions with a variety of individuals regarding Armstrong.  Nearly everyone saw this day coming and throughout the whirlwind, no one seems to be surprised.

The final stages of the "unconstitutional witch hunt," as Armstrong called it, resulted in mountains of eye witness testimony that slowly changed the minds of American sports fans last summer and it became only a matter of time for all of the wheels fell off the proverbial wagon, and now they finally have.  It wasn't a sudden event that broke the news (like the Tiger Woods scandal, for instance), so Lance's fall from grace was gradual and his supporters drew their conclusions over time.  This allowed for people to cope with this mess and put everything in perspective.  Then, he did the interview with Oprah.

It's difficult to understand why Lance took the opportunity to do this interview.  Was it to be forgiven?  To start forgiving himself?  To make money?  To move on?  To control the narrative?  No one really knows.  Oprah asked him directly, however, his answer didn't reveal much.  I can only speculate it was a combination of many of those things.  Regardless of the motive, I believe it is time to move towards forgiveness.  Not because Lance Armstrong deserves to be forgiven, but because we've been forgiven (and we didn't deserve to, either).

It is possible to forgive Lance Armstrong for what he did.  And we all should.  He made a series of mistakes, admitted to them, [half-heartedly] has asked for forgiveness and is apparently moving in the opposite direction of those mistakes.  It meets the checklist, forgive him.

I had been wrestling with the idea of what it might look like if we all forgave Lance Armstrong.  Then I was humbled by the child-like faith of my 4-year old son Isaiah and realized what it ends up looking like is irrelevant.   During an overdramatic scene in our kitchen that involved two boys interested in the same wooden train, Isaiah was adamantly pleading his case to me when I explained to him that everything was going to be alright and that he needed to forgive his brother.  I'm sure he doesn't fully understand this concept, however, I explained to him that when someone does something that is 'naughty,' then admits they were naughty, says they're sorry and that they won't do it again, then we should forgive them because Christ has forgiven us.   It was text book parenting and an opportunity to teach one of life's precious principles, even if he's too young to grasp it.  Then, I remembered: more is caught than is taught and if my children are going understand how to forgive others, then they certainly need to see their dad demonstrating those words.

Is it any different when it comes to pre-school kids taking toys from each other and world class athletes breaking the rules?   I can just see the conversation taking place:

"Daddy, did he say he was naughty?  Did he say he was sorry and won't do it again?  Then you should forgive him, right, Daddy?"

"Right, son.  I should forgive him."

Forgiveness doesn't mean we dismiss accountability or that there aren't consequences for our actions.  Lance Armstrong is, and should be, banned from competition - probably for the rest of his life.  He will never carry the respect or platform of a champion athlete and will likely never get the opportunity or privilege to be a role model ever again.  In fact, Lance Armstrong is done.  He's over.  He'll always be a celebrity, but his fame is finished.  His legacy as an athlete has ceased to exist.  People won't tell their children about this once great champion.  We'll move on and forget about him entirely, much the same people have done about other scandalous figures in sports like Danny Almonte, Clem Haskins, Ben Johnson, Tonya Harding, etc.  There aren't many teenagers who recognize those names.  My children will know very little of Lance Armstrong 10 years from now because I'm not going to be talking about his greatness.  There are consequences for what he did, but he is forgiven.