Our summer schedule is filling up quickly at Victory School of Wrestling. Answering questions and replying to e-mails about what we we’re going to do have compelled me to challenge our athletes (and my readers). Instead of focusing on what you are going to do this summer, how about focusing on who you will become this summer?
Often times we place our identity – who we are – in the things we do. At Victory, we have a special poster that states, “wrestling is not who we are, it’s what we do.” Who you are is more important than what you do.
Before God tells us what to do, He tells us who we are. Matthew 5:14 says, “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Know who you are and you’ll know what to do. In God’s economy, identity comes before activity.
What am I going to do this summer is important to pin down, but who am I going to become is more important.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Potential energy vs. kinetic energy
I received a Bachelor of Arts in History, so I didn't take many science classes while I was in college. I do, however, remember from high school that energy is categorized in two main classes: potential energy and kinetic energy. Potential energy is stored energy. Kinetic energy is energy of motion.
As athletes, we need to be actively building up our stores - increasing our potential - and when our number gets called, we need to take action. The phrase we use in the wrestling world is "pulling the trigger." Potential will always be potential until action is taken. Then, and only then, it becomes strength and power.
As athletes, we need to be actively building up our stores - increasing our potential - and when our number gets called, we need to take action. The phrase we use in the wrestling world is "pulling the trigger." Potential will always be potential until action is taken. Then, and only then, it becomes strength and power.
Monday, April 4, 2011
The world is run by people who show up
I've been involved in many different organizations over the past few years. I can't say that I enjoy my role in each of them, but I joyfully accept the responsibilities that I have. I was raised to think of others first, and as a result, I find myself in volunteer positions and a part of organizations that must make difficult decisions. I believe in being part of the solution rather than complaining about problems. Often times, these roles can be thankless and disheartening, however, we all know that the world is run by people who show up and I make a point to "show up" when it matters. I aim to BE the change that world is waiting for. I don't expect others to do for me what I can do for myself.
Somehow, our world has morphed into something that is a stark contrast to the way I was raised. I see self-esteem trump self-respect. This is completely backwards and leads to a culture of individuals who posses a sense of entitlement. I have a strong dislike for entitlement.
It's easier to critique the decisions of other than it is to have to courage to be a part of decisions that matter. People rant and rave about the decisions that are made by others, but don't take initiative to get involved when it has the potential to make a difference. I'm surprised by how many people think they are privileged to all of the information and decision making processes of organizations while never offering their services to help or share their input when it has the potential to sway the decision. Their input comes in the form of complaints - often anonymously and without recourse (heaven forbid that someone would actually offer these opinions in front of others when accountability is prevalent).
My advice to these individuals is to get involved. Put in the same amount of time that I am. Instead of criticizing the decision making process and questioning the integrity of those making the decisions, show up when it matters. Show up when it's not convenient of self-serving. The world is run by people who show up.
Somehow, our world has morphed into something that is a stark contrast to the way I was raised. I see self-esteem trump self-respect. This is completely backwards and leads to a culture of individuals who posses a sense of entitlement. I have a strong dislike for entitlement.
It's easier to critique the decisions of other than it is to have to courage to be a part of decisions that matter. People rant and rave about the decisions that are made by others, but don't take initiative to get involved when it has the potential to make a difference. I'm surprised by how many people think they are privileged to all of the information and decision making processes of organizations while never offering their services to help or share their input when it has the potential to sway the decision. Their input comes in the form of complaints - often anonymously and without recourse (heaven forbid that someone would actually offer these opinions in front of others when accountability is prevalent).
My advice to these individuals is to get involved. Put in the same amount of time that I am. Instead of criticizing the decision making process and questioning the integrity of those making the decisions, show up when it matters. Show up when it's not convenient of self-serving. The world is run by people who show up.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Does professionalism still matter?
With information available instantly and the emergence of the blogoshpere, forums and textese (text message language), it seems to me that the attention to written detail has declined immensely. Maybe this is because everyone has an opportunity to share their opinions so the filters and editors are no longer critical. But still, I believe businesses and organizations have a responsibility to be professional.
Professionalism goes beyond internet information and fliers. It includes how one associated with a business or organization in any capacity, paid or volunteer, treats the customer. Communication, expertise, punctuality and much more is required. It's fair to demand and expect this from the business or organization you're involved. Professionalism is not the exception, even if our culture seems to be heading in that direction.
Professionalism goes beyond internet information and fliers. It includes how one associated with a business or organization in any capacity, paid or volunteer, treats the customer. Communication, expertise, punctuality and much more is required. It's fair to demand and expect this from the business or organization you're involved. Professionalism is not the exception, even if our culture seems to be heading in that direction.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Better than it sounds
In a recent post by Seth Godin, he mentioned that Mark Twain said that Wagner wrote music that was better than it sounds. It got me thinking, is my product (Victory School of Wrestling) better than it sounds, or does it sound better than it is?
Five years ago I had a vision to create an environment that produced championship wrestlers with championship character. We work hard to be sure that we're constantly in line with our mission. This helps posture me as a learner and puts me in a position to be constantly evaluating our approach. Our mission never changes, but our approach is always changing and improving. I'm trying to provide something that, like Wagner, is better than it sounds.
Yesterday I received a message from the mother of a 5th grade athlete who has been involved at Victory for three years. Here's what she posted on my Facebook wall:
I think this is evidence that we're moving in the right direction. I often say that I won't be able to accurately evaluate our club model until these young men are adults with families and responsibilities. When they're having a positive impact on our world, I'll know that our approach is successful. Unfortunately, there are far too many programs within the wrestling community that sound better than they really are. However, when a 5th grade student steps up and does something like this, it leads even me to believe that what what we're doing is actually better than it sounds.
Five years ago I had a vision to create an environment that produced championship wrestlers with championship character. We work hard to be sure that we're constantly in line with our mission. This helps posture me as a learner and puts me in a position to be constantly evaluating our approach. Our mission never changes, but our approach is always changing and improving. I'm trying to provide something that, like Wagner, is better than it sounds.
Yesterday I received a message from the mother of a 5th grade athlete who has been involved at Victory for three years. Here's what she posted on my Facebook wall:
A "feel good story"...Paul received a phone call today from the Elementary Principle (typically not a good thing from past experience). But today, "I am calling to tell you about a spectacular thing that Gabe did. He stood up for a girl that was about to be ridiculed by another classmate. He discouraged the boy from doing wrong, pointing out the consequences. If only all of the kids could do one of these random acts, just imagine the possibility?!". When we discussed this with Gabe, he simply said "Kevin's been teaching us about doing the right thing, taking responsibility for our lives.". We just want to say...THANK YOU!! The influence you have is powerful. - The Colbeth's
I think this is evidence that we're moving in the right direction. I often say that I won't be able to accurately evaluate our club model until these young men are adults with families and responsibilities. When they're having a positive impact on our world, I'll know that our approach is successful. Unfortunately, there are far too many programs within the wrestling community that sound better than they really are. However, when a 5th grade student steps up and does something like this, it leads even me to believe that what what we're doing is actually better than it sounds.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Boys forfeiting to girls
Two weeks ago, history was made in the state of Iowa when two female athletes qualified for the state wrestling tournament. The tournament turned into a media frenzy after a boy decided that it was inappropriate to take the mat against a female competitor. There has been a lot of interest in this story within the wrestling community and outside of it, including from ESPN and the New York Times. Public opinion about this situation is all over the spectrum. I've been asked what I thought many times. In a previous blog post, I did my best to present both sides of the story in an objective way. Now, after more people have started to voice their opinions, I'd like to share my thoughts on male wrestlers forfeiting to female wrestlers and specifically on the situation in Iowa.
Before I do, it's important to understand my stance on gender and competition. I believe God created male and female with distinction and uniqueness. Obviously, this is a sensitive topic because it's politically incorrect to discuss the differences between men and women. I believe men and women deserve equal treatment under law and should have equal opportunities, however, the two genders are significantly different. To maximize the competitive potential of both, we must discard the value judgements that these differences are bad and look to a larger social context to explain behavior.
Males and females take different perspectives on the world. The experiences that shape values, the situations that cause fear, and the circumstances that define success stand distinct. At the heart of these differences lies a masculine identity defined by a basic sense of living separate from others as opposed to a feminine identity defined by a basic sense of living connected to others.
If this is true, each gender approaches competitive situations from vastly different contexts. Girls come to the gym seeking to bond as a means to success; boys battle each other to achieve the same thing. Women are predisposed to connect to achieve goals; men compete to achieve goals. Both want to win and both want results, but they hold markedly different ideas on how to access their aspirations.
Men learn to view the world as a hierarchical social order. They value autonomy, latitude, and winning. Females value attachment, intimacy, and interdependence. Males fear helplessness. They may be wary of commitment if they see it as a loss of freedom. Females fear rejection, isolation, and abandonment. They equate these conditions with loneliness and failure.
Knowing these simple, but complex, gender differences gives us context to understand why individuals can have such differing opinions about what happened in Iowa. To a boy, the person across from him in the circle is trying to take something that he believes is rightfully his. He is bound and determined to fight for it because he believes winning that battle is the mark of a man. Now, match that same boy against a girl and the hierarchical struggle drastically changes. The motivation isn't the same and it becomes a lose-lose situation for the boy (if he wins, he loses; if he loses, he loses). This fear drives the boy, and often times his dad, to look for a way out or a way to win and it seems as if the wrestling community and many Christian circles have given boys and men a free pass to forfeit to the girl by claiming they respect women and cite the Bible as their source. However, the act of forfeiting leaves the girl feeling abandoned, as if her efforts and struggles didn't mean the same as the boys. Not taking the mat and acknowledging her as an athlete is the epitome of disrespect to a female wrestler.
I'm not in a position to make a judgement on the male wrestler in Iowa who forfeited to the female, however, I do believe I am privileged to question the logic that he (and his parents) used because we're both claiming to be representing Jesus Christ on this subject.
First, the boy said that wrestling is violent and he didn't believe it was right to engage a female in that manner. I think I know what he's trying to say, but I think he missed the mark. And why are Christian circles so quick to jump on this bandwagon? I would argue that wrestling is NOT violent. If he's approaching the sport with violence, then I believe it is wrong for him to engage any human being in this manner - boy or girl. Wrestling is combative, but not violent. There are inherent risks to the sport, as there for any sport, and all of the participants are fully aware of those risks. Wrestling is a combative sport that has specific rules to assure that it is not violent. By claiming that it is "violence" sounds too much like "machismo," or excessive masculinity, or chauvinism. It epitomizes the tough guy stereotype alpha male, socially and physically dominating and imposing his will upon others. That attitude is the antithesis of the Bible. It's laced with pride and there is no honor in that.
Forfeiting to a female on the grounds of respecting her is a slap in the face to every female athlete forced to compete against boys. The girl doesn't interpret this act as respectful. I've asked many of my female athletes how they feel about this topic and they're all vehemently opposed to boys forfeiting to them "out of respect for women." I guess I think the females should have a say on this topic. After all, it's directly affecting them, isn't it? I have yet to talk to a female wrestler who said this is a sign of respect or chivalry. So why do we champion it as being so? In my marriage, if my wife feels disrespected because of something I did believing I was respecting her, isn't it logical to conclude that I'm actually not being respectful if she's feeling disrespected? If the girl doesn't believe she's being respected, we can't continue claiming this decision is about respect for the girl.
In 2007, I went to Azerbaijan for the World Championships. In the arena, the ushers constantly walked up to the Americans and told us to put our feet on the ground when we were resting them on the seat in front of us. Showing the bottom of our feet was the ultimate sign of disrespect in their culture. What that act shows to others is that they are below you. Of course, I meant no disrespect by it. It was a cultural difference. However, I didn't hang on to my belief system the rest of the time I was there because I didn't want to show any disrespect. I feel that men are constantly showing the bottom of their feet to women in the sport of wrestling and then, out of fear, hide behind an inerrant claim that they respect them. The problem is, the women don't feel respected.
The only time I support a male forfeiting to a female is if wrestling a girl causes a boy to struggle sexually. I'm in favor of him opting out, but call it what it is. If close contact with a female on a wrestling mat takes a males mind to another place or gives a "hint of sexual immorality" (Ephesians 5:3), by all means, forfeit, but be a man and tell the real reason for not stepping to the line. Don't hide behind the pseudo-chivalrous claim of "respecting women."
I'm sure I ruffled a few feathers on this one. This is precisely why I believe every state association needs a separate boys and girls division. Individuals shouldn't be forced to make difficlut decisions that can be so drastically misunderstood by the two genders.
*work cited: Gender and Competition by Kathlees deBoeur.
Before I do, it's important to understand my stance on gender and competition. I believe God created male and female with distinction and uniqueness. Obviously, this is a sensitive topic because it's politically incorrect to discuss the differences between men and women. I believe men and women deserve equal treatment under law and should have equal opportunities, however, the two genders are significantly different. To maximize the competitive potential of both, we must discard the value judgements that these differences are bad and look to a larger social context to explain behavior.
Males and females take different perspectives on the world. The experiences that shape values, the situations that cause fear, and the circumstances that define success stand distinct. At the heart of these differences lies a masculine identity defined by a basic sense of living separate from others as opposed to a feminine identity defined by a basic sense of living connected to others.
If this is true, each gender approaches competitive situations from vastly different contexts. Girls come to the gym seeking to bond as a means to success; boys battle each other to achieve the same thing. Women are predisposed to connect to achieve goals; men compete to achieve goals. Both want to win and both want results, but they hold markedly different ideas on how to access their aspirations.
Men learn to view the world as a hierarchical social order. They value autonomy, latitude, and winning. Females value attachment, intimacy, and interdependence. Males fear helplessness. They may be wary of commitment if they see it as a loss of freedom. Females fear rejection, isolation, and abandonment. They equate these conditions with loneliness and failure.
Knowing these simple, but complex, gender differences gives us context to understand why individuals can have such differing opinions about what happened in Iowa. To a boy, the person across from him in the circle is trying to take something that he believes is rightfully his. He is bound and determined to fight for it because he believes winning that battle is the mark of a man. Now, match that same boy against a girl and the hierarchical struggle drastically changes. The motivation isn't the same and it becomes a lose-lose situation for the boy (if he wins, he loses; if he loses, he loses). This fear drives the boy, and often times his dad, to look for a way out or a way to win and it seems as if the wrestling community and many Christian circles have given boys and men a free pass to forfeit to the girl by claiming they respect women and cite the Bible as their source. However, the act of forfeiting leaves the girl feeling abandoned, as if her efforts and struggles didn't mean the same as the boys. Not taking the mat and acknowledging her as an athlete is the epitome of disrespect to a female wrestler.
I'm not in a position to make a judgement on the male wrestler in Iowa who forfeited to the female, however, I do believe I am privileged to question the logic that he (and his parents) used because we're both claiming to be representing Jesus Christ on this subject.
First, the boy said that wrestling is violent and he didn't believe it was right to engage a female in that manner. I think I know what he's trying to say, but I think he missed the mark. And why are Christian circles so quick to jump on this bandwagon? I would argue that wrestling is NOT violent. If he's approaching the sport with violence, then I believe it is wrong for him to engage any human being in this manner - boy or girl. Wrestling is combative, but not violent. There are inherent risks to the sport, as there for any sport, and all of the participants are fully aware of those risks. Wrestling is a combative sport that has specific rules to assure that it is not violent. By claiming that it is "violence" sounds too much like "machismo," or excessive masculinity, or chauvinism. It epitomizes the tough guy stereotype alpha male, socially and physically dominating and imposing his will upon others. That attitude is the antithesis of the Bible. It's laced with pride and there is no honor in that.
Forfeiting to a female on the grounds of respecting her is a slap in the face to every female athlete forced to compete against boys. The girl doesn't interpret this act as respectful. I've asked many of my female athletes how they feel about this topic and they're all vehemently opposed to boys forfeiting to them "out of respect for women." I guess I think the females should have a say on this topic. After all, it's directly affecting them, isn't it? I have yet to talk to a female wrestler who said this is a sign of respect or chivalry. So why do we champion it as being so? In my marriage, if my wife feels disrespected because of something I did believing I was respecting her, isn't it logical to conclude that I'm actually not being respectful if she's feeling disrespected? If the girl doesn't believe she's being respected, we can't continue claiming this decision is about respect for the girl.
In 2007, I went to Azerbaijan for the World Championships. In the arena, the ushers constantly walked up to the Americans and told us to put our feet on the ground when we were resting them on the seat in front of us. Showing the bottom of our feet was the ultimate sign of disrespect in their culture. What that act shows to others is that they are below you. Of course, I meant no disrespect by it. It was a cultural difference. However, I didn't hang on to my belief system the rest of the time I was there because I didn't want to show any disrespect. I feel that men are constantly showing the bottom of their feet to women in the sport of wrestling and then, out of fear, hide behind an inerrant claim that they respect them. The problem is, the women don't feel respected.
The only time I support a male forfeiting to a female is if wrestling a girl causes a boy to struggle sexually. I'm in favor of him opting out, but call it what it is. If close contact with a female on a wrestling mat takes a males mind to another place or gives a "hint of sexual immorality" (Ephesians 5:3), by all means, forfeit, but be a man and tell the real reason for not stepping to the line. Don't hide behind the pseudo-chivalrous claim of "respecting women."
I'm sure I ruffled a few feathers on this one. This is precisely why I believe every state association needs a separate boys and girls division. Individuals shouldn't be forced to make difficlut decisions that can be so drastically misunderstood by the two genders.
*work cited: Gender and Competition by Kathlees deBoeur.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Win the crowd
"Listen to me. Learn from me. I was not the best because I killed quickly. I was the best because the crowd loved me. Win the crowd and you will win your freedom." - Proximo
It feels like yesterday that I laced my bright yellow Adidas shoes and marched through the Parade of Champions prior to the state finals my senior year. The whole weekend seemed surreal at the time. However, as I become less recognized and relevant as an athlete in Wisconsin, I'm starting to comprehend what took place in the Kohl Center in 1998.
I enjoyed my time as a high school athlete and nothing was more enjoyable than standing in the center of Mat 1 to the ovation of over 10,000 wrestling fans. I had a wide range of emotions from releaved to happy. What I cherish most from that moment, though, is how the fans made me feel. I felt like I was a part of something much larger than myself. If you've read any of my previous blogs, you'd know that I believe I was part of a story of God. Within that story was a farm kid that won the crowd over the course of four years. Obviously, I was there in the middle so I cannot seperate my bias, but I haven't seen, or felt, that same energy towards an athlete in the Kohl Center since (closest was Alyssa Lampe and Davion Willis).
There have been a handful of four-time state champions since my day in the spotlight and this year, another individual will join me as a Division 1 four-timer (for one more day, I'm the only one). So there have been a lot of great wrestlers, but I'm going to take a stab and say none have loved the crowd and been loved quit like I was in 1998. Please understand that I'm not trying to hang on to any overdue glory. I know my time has passed, but there is something left to be desired as a fan following the handful of super stars that have graced the Kohl Center floors most recently.
During my career, I didn't have to deal with the pressures of internet forums or Facebook. I wasn't a controversial character because of my lack of character. I had tremendous family support and I was grounded enough to know at the time that I wasn't alone in my athletic endeavors and I knew there was no way I could have done it alone, either. I was a gracious winner and respected my competitors. For a lack of a better way to describe what I'm thinking, I believe I was successful in "winning the crowd."
I didn't compete to seek the approval of the crowd, but we certainly worked together to accomplish great things.
It feels like yesterday that I laced my bright yellow Adidas shoes and marched through the Parade of Champions prior to the state finals my senior year. The whole weekend seemed surreal at the time. However, as I become less recognized and relevant as an athlete in Wisconsin, I'm starting to comprehend what took place in the Kohl Center in 1998.
I enjoyed my time as a high school athlete and nothing was more enjoyable than standing in the center of Mat 1 to the ovation of over 10,000 wrestling fans. I had a wide range of emotions from releaved to happy. What I cherish most from that moment, though, is how the fans made me feel. I felt like I was a part of something much larger than myself. If you've read any of my previous blogs, you'd know that I believe I was part of a story of God. Within that story was a farm kid that won the crowd over the course of four years. Obviously, I was there in the middle so I cannot seperate my bias, but I haven't seen, or felt, that same energy towards an athlete in the Kohl Center since (closest was Alyssa Lampe and Davion Willis).
There have been a handful of four-time state champions since my day in the spotlight and this year, another individual will join me as a Division 1 four-timer (for one more day, I'm the only one). So there have been a lot of great wrestlers, but I'm going to take a stab and say none have loved the crowd and been loved quit like I was in 1998. Please understand that I'm not trying to hang on to any overdue glory. I know my time has passed, but there is something left to be desired as a fan following the handful of super stars that have graced the Kohl Center floors most recently.
During my career, I didn't have to deal with the pressures of internet forums or Facebook. I wasn't a controversial character because of my lack of character. I had tremendous family support and I was grounded enough to know at the time that I wasn't alone in my athletic endeavors and I knew there was no way I could have done it alone, either. I was a gracious winner and respected my competitors. For a lack of a better way to describe what I'm thinking, I believe I was successful in "winning the crowd."
I didn't compete to seek the approval of the crowd, but we certainly worked together to accomplish great things.
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