Serve others by working

This weekend I shared a leadership idea with my athletes that has the potential to help them become great leaders on their high school teams. I encouraged them to be servant-leaders by using their gifts and talents to serve others.

Our society is postured in a way that motivates us to work so that we can be served. Instead, we need to serve others by working. It's not about making money so people can wait on us. We should be waiting on others. The idea is not to work to be served by others, but to serve others by working.

The most important aspect to leadership and creating more influence is in serving others. The servant-leader wants to serve first. By serving, he can become a leader because his top concern is caring for the needs of others. The people he leads grow as individuals and while being served, become healthier, wiser and more likely to become who they were created to be.

The challenge to my athletes was simple. Ask, "how can I help?" and mean it. How can you help on your team, at school, at home, at work, etc.?

Servant-leadership can only be acquired through humility - the greatest character trait that one can seek.

"But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant.
- Luke 22:36 (NLT)

Is patience a virtue?

In 1377, William Langland wrote the allegorical narrative Piers Plowman. From this piece came a very popular proverb: patience is a virtue. The ability to wait for something without excessive frustration is a valuable character trait. It's similar to the Latin, Maxima enim..patientia virtus (Patience is the greatest virtue) and the French, Patience est une grand vertu (Patience is a great value).

Personally, I don't believe patience alone is the greatest virtue (I believe humility is), but it is rightfully a very desirable character trait that individuals have sought after over the course of history. This is why I thought it was important to mention that I spent the weekend in New York City and was shocked by the lack of patience that I saw so proudly on display.

I admit, I don't identify with the hustle and bustle and fast lifestyle that it takes to survive on Wall St. or to live in Manhattan. I'm a Midwesterner who enjoys the slower pace that the East Coast lacks. I don't think this is reason for the lack of patience that I witnessed this weekend, though.

I could list numerous examples, but I think I will stick to one in particular: elevators. I choose not to ride elevators for a variety of reasons, but I was literally forced to this weekend in New York City. I was shocked by the lack of patience that individuals exercise while riding up and down. Before they even stepped foot on the elevator, I saw individuals repeatedly pushing the "up" or "down" button in the lobby as if they didn't notice the obvious light that indicated that it had already been pushed by someone, in most cases, themselves. I gave a pass for this because there are circumstances that force the elevator to take more time than usual.

Watching people exit and enter elevators became and interesting social experiment for me, too. I didn't see the manners that I thought everyone learned from their grandmother as an infant. Let others get off before you get on. Seems pretty reasonable, especially if you live in a culture that depends on elevators. I didn't concern myself with this "phenomenon" much, either. I mean, I can't change the entire culture in NYC much like I can't explain to people in Moscow the concept of a single file line.

The thing that got me the most was that little button at the bottom of the menu of buttons - the "close door" button. I saw people abuse this button and push it as if their life depended on it. It was so noticeable, that I thought I would research the difference this most-popular button actually makes. I went online to find a few answers, but there was nothing definitive. I was surprised to see some claims that the button actually wasn't wired to anything. It was simply there to give passengers the illusion of control. The lift control mechanisms decide when the doors should actually shut according to their programmed cycles. Others claimed it actually does work. One writer who had "evidence" for the importance of pushing the close door button said the door in his building will close in five seconds after pushing any button, but will close in only three seconds after pushing the close door button. He saves close to two seconds in an amazing display of impatience.

Is patience a virtue? The elevator illustration might be an impractical example, but where else do we experience a lack of patience that is just as ridiculous when we break it down? Traffic lights, buffering videos, microwaves, mobile phones, etc. are all pieces of technology that drastically make for more time, but somehow rob us of our patience. The elevator might be insignificant, but is that lack of patience rolling over to other, more important, areas of our lives? I think so.

Blissfully bouncing through the terminal

I’m on my way to New York City for the annual NYAC wrestling tournament. I’ve been attending this event as an athlete and coach for the past five years. Not that I frequent the Big Apple much, but I have to admit that I’m not a huge fan of the city. It’s too big and there’s just too much hustle and bustle for my liking. Even though I’ve been open about my dislike for the New York, I want to change my perspective and offer some optimism as I take on this adventure.

I’m not going to shower the East Coast with praise. Instead, I’m going to write about my optimism while traveling by air. Isn’t it strange how something amazing like air flight can turn into one of the most dreadful experiences of one’s life? If you think about it, we often take things that were created to be great and make them miserable. To be blunt, I think it has to do with our entitled, self-centered, narcissistic life style (sorry if that was harsh). Honestly, think about it…

I’m going to New York City and it’s going to take me three and a half hours to get there. That’s incredible. I can pull out my computer and write about my experience while it’s happening. That’s amazing. Last weekend I was in San Diego and this weekend I will be in New York – coast to coast in one week. That’s astounding. If I was in a car, this would take weeks. If this was over a hundred years ago, this would take months (and my wheel would probably fall off my wagon in the mountains somewhere).

Who are we to think we can criticize air travel. It’s really incomprehensible that this whole thing works the way it does.

I’m not minimizing the negative experiences that people have while traveling, or condoning the actions of those who exercise poor customer service. I’ve had my fair share of rude flight attendants and have had flights delayed, canceled and missed. I’ve had my luggage lost in foreign countries and been on flights that I thought were far from safe (try flying within in Russia). On these things I identify with you, however, I want to help change your perspective so that you can appreciate and enjoy how spectacular air travel actually is.

Every time I sit in the terminal waiting to board the plane, I look out and see the giant plane that I will be comfortably (most of the time) sitting in 35,000 feet above the earth. It’s mind-boggling that the science of flight actually works! That big huge piece of metal floating in the air. I think Bernoulli has something to do with it and, of course, lift force, but seriously, it just doesn’t make sense. Usually I get this unsettled feeling as the plane speeds down the runway. I wonder, “what if?” What if the Wright brothers actually had it wrong? What if this time it just doesn’t add up? Then we take off and begin ascending into the clouds and God’s creation becomes so much bigger. What I like most about flying is it makes me feel a little smaller than I do when I’m on earth. It humbles me and I think, who am I that I should not be enjoying this? Literally, I’m flying. That’s pretty cool.

Once again, I want to encourage you to be optimistic during your air travel experience. Certainly there will be a few inconveniences, but I’m fairly certain they’re worth it. Try changing your status update or Tweets from “dreadfully drudging through the terminal” to “blissfully bouncing through the terminal.” A simple change of perspective will change your entire experience.

Repeat yourself and speak clearly

My grandma is 83 years old and like most people her age, she doesn't hear as well as she once did. As a result, when I talk to her, I often have to repeat myself to get the message across. Her youthful heart and vibrant passion keep her from embracing the technology that could help her communicate more effectively. She's apprehensive about spending the money for hearing aids and fundamentally opposed to e-mail or other Internet-based forms of communicating because they're not very personal. My family always needs to be intentional about keeping her in the loop.

I would take an educated guess and say that most of you have similar stories with your parents or grandparents. Why am I bringing this up today? Because I think by understanding the simple steps necessary to engage in meaningful conversations with my grandma are the same as the principles needed to be effective in casting your vision or following your mission: repeat yourself and speak clearly.

Let me explain myself further on this idea...

Your mission needs to be clear and concise. It cannot be ambiguous. It needs to simply state what you're set out to do and why you're doing it. The trick is that you say all of that in words that are memorable so it can be understood and repeated.

You can never repeat your vision too much. No matter how much you've said it, there's always someone out there who hasn't gotten it. Or someone who's lost it. Or someone who knows it, but has yet to internalize it or own it. You can repeat yourself without being repetitive. Find creative ways to reinforce your vision that will compel and inspires others, and do it often.

I've seen too many organizations lose track of members because their vision wasn't stated enough. I've seen businesses fail after the vision didn't materialized because it wasn't talked about enough. I've been involved with groups for an extended period of time and never heard the direction the group desired to go. And I know coaches that have a difficult time reaching their athletes with their mission and vision, but they fail to recognize they're laying out their expectations clearly.

No one can hold onto any vision indefinitely without reinforcement and repetition. It doesn’t matter how compelling it is. Was any vision ever more compelling than the one Jesus laid out? Yet even he found the need to say it again.

In Matthew 19:24 NLT, Jesus starts by stating "I'll say it again..." Jesus knew he needed to repeat himself over and over

Philippians 4:4 says, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, Rejoice!" Paul repeated himself and said it clearly. It was a simple and memorable. Rejoice!

Leaders often lose focus of their own vision because they don't take the time necessary to repeat it. Not only does repeating your vision compel others, it holds you accountable to what you're doing. I want my vision to ignite passion in the souls of my athletes and I want it to be constant reminder of why I do what I do.

If Jesus had to repeat himself, what makes us think that we don't need to? Repeat yourself and speak clearly.

On leadership

There is a huge leadership deficit in the United States right now. A lot of grown men (and women) don’t act like grownups and more and more organizations are lacking adequate leaders. I believe I have a responsibility as a leader to influence others by leading courageously with the conviction to be myself and do what is right no matter what the cost. It’s never wrong to do what’s right. Leaders must act and sound like leaders.


Leaders are thinkers
The best leaders are not satisfied with doing things the way they are simply because they’ve previously been done that way. They think outside the box and outside the norm. They are deliberate in their thought process to determine best practices. Thinking yields results. After all, good leaders get people where they’re going; great leaders take people where they ought to be. The best leaders add value to others’ lives. That starts by thinking.


Leaders are always growing
Growth is a process. A leader understands that he/she has to learn how to lead well and develop a plan for personal growth so leadership can become automatic and instinctive.

From John C. Maxwell’s admired book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, growth in leadership is illustrated in the following phases:
1. I don't know what I don't know
2. I know that I need to know
3. I know what I don't know
4. I know and grow and it starts to show
5. I simply go because of what I know

Successful leaders are learners and the learning process is ongoing. As a result, the growth process leads to positive changes that improve leadership opportunities and influence. Change for the sake of change is not productive. Change that produces better results is essential.

“What is the difference between a living thing and a dead thing? How to tell one from the other?...In the medical world, a clinical definition of death is a body that does not change. Change is life. Stagnation is death. If you don’t change, you die. It’s that simple. It’s that scary.” – Leonard Sweet


Leaders are confident, courageous and curious
Leaders are confident decision makers. They make sound decisions with the information they have at their disposal and they do what's right, even at the risk of failure,in the face of great danger and under the brunt of criticism. Can you thinkof one great leader that was without courage? A leader's courage gives his/her followers hope.

During the growth process, their curiosity renews their energy by learning new ideas from others and they aren’t threatened by new ways of doing things. They have strong core principles, but somehow still evolve with changing times to meet new demands. They embrace new technologies and confidently move forward into the future.


Leaders are introspective
Honest self-reflection is vital to becoming a successful leader. Leaders must regularly examine what has worked and what hasn’t. If they don’t, they become stagnant and ineffective. They admit when they’re wrong and know when to change direction, but don’t lose confidence. They have a willingness to learn more about their fundamental nature and purpose.


Leaders have high expectations
Leaders expect greatness from those who follow them, and they don't accept anything. Expectations form a self-fulfilling prophecy. “Treat a man as he is, he will remain so. Treat a man as he can be and ought to be, and he will become as he can and should be.”


Leaders have influence
Maxwell states that the true measure of leadership is in influence - nothing more, nothing less. True leadership cannot be awarded, appointed or assigned, it comes only from influence, and that cannot be mandated, it must be earned. It’s earned when those following trust their leader. When people stop following, a leader is no longer effective. This crucial trust is earned with a transparency that gives others an opportunity to know about their leader in the following ways:

Character (who they are) - This begins on the inside. People can sense the depth of a person's character.

Relationships (who they know) – They have deep relationships with the right people. 1 Corinthians 15:33 states, “bad company corrupts good character.” Notice, Paul doesn’t write, “Good character infiltrates bad company.” Who they associate with is who they will become.

Knowledge (what they know) – People don’t care how much they know until they know how much they care. Once they demonstrate to other they care, they must know that information is vital; they need a grasp of facts to develop an accurate vision for future.

Intuition (what they feel) – Leaders seek to recognize and influence others with intangibles like energy, morale, timing and momentum.

Experience (where they've been) – If it is paired with humility and a healthy perspective, experience will lead to wisdom. Wisdom paves the way for more influence and better decisions.

Ability (what they can do) - Followers want to know if the leader can lead them to victory. When they no longer believe he/she can deliver, they stop following. People seek leaders unconsciously and leaders step to the forefront instinctively.

The best leaders have a unique blend of these intangible characteristics that can't always be explained, but when you see them, you recognize them.


"Managers are people who do things right, leaders are people who do the right thing." - Warren Bennis

Brett Favre's legacy...preserved

I'm pretty sure this blog has started to take on its own personality and my Monday morning quarterback thoughts don't fit into what it's become. I know I'm not a sports journalist, but I want to write about something that I've had an excess of opinions about over the past three years: Brett Favre's legacy.

When he was "forced" out of Green Bay, I was very disappointed that Ted Thompson didn't let Favre end his career on his own terms. When he was in New York, I cheered for him, but when he went to Minnesota, I lost my mind. Until last night, I've been angry with him for many reasons that I believe are legitimate as a man and as a Packers fan. Most of those reasons dealt with him ruining his legacy and spoiling my memories of him during his glory years in Green Bay. After last night, that all changed and his legacy is, in fact, preserved.

Last season, I was literally sick for two days leading up to his return to Lambeau and was upset that he had so much success in a Vikings uniform. It was surreal and stung, and I know I wasn't alone in my feelings as a Wisconsin resident. The part that bothered me most was the sudden love for Brett Favre all over Minnesota and their pride and ownership of the old gunslinger. It didn't seem right. It was like they were showing off a toy they stole from their neighbor and everyone knews it didn't belong to them. My thoughts leading into this season weren't as severe, but I was still bitter with Favre, until last night.

I think one of the reasons Packers Nation loved Brett Favre so much was because of his transparency. He was a real human being with an extraordinary capacity to throw a football. He had a lot of magical moments on the football field that elevated him to a place above humanity, but he also made many poor choices that brought him back to reality. He started his career as a renegade before getting serious and taking over for the Packers. He struggled with drug addiction and other things that he openly talked about. We didn't condone his actions, but could identify with his struggles. He then went through a series of tragic events in his personal life that he shared with the Packers fans (the death of his father and brother-in-law as well as his wife's battle with cancer). He dealt with a lot of these problems through football and through the Green Bay Packers. We were there for him and felt his pain.

Last night was all too familiar. It seems like poetic justice. He goes across the river to an organization that pales in comparison to the Packers on many levels. Obviously, the history, the championships, the ownership, the fans, I could go on and on. He took the helm of a good team and much was expected of him, rightfully so, but I never understood what bothered me so much until now. It was the fact that the Vikings and their fans hadn't been through life with Brett Favre. They hadn't been through the ups and downs with him and hadn't learned how to deal with the bad in order to enjoy the good. They were spoiled by his great season last year, but didn't know how to handle the setbacks because they didn't appreciate Brett Favre for who he is - human. I don't think the Vikings deserve him and last night was the best evidence I have for this idea.

After a poor performance that ended in a loss, the Vikings coach threw Favre under the bus and the fans are calling for Tarvarias Jackson to take over. We're now seeing a man broken physically, mentally and emotionally after a series of poor choices on and off the field. What's ironic is that it all came to a breaking point last night...in Lambeau Field...in front of those who know who Brett really is - human.

His transparency will be part of his legacy. This is how I'll remember Brett Favre as a Green Bay Packer and this is how his career is going to end. The best part of it, the Packers fans are the only ones who truly understand Brett and it all ended for him at home in Green Bay. Packers fans are the only ones who can truly appreciate him for what he is. Other organizations have no choice but to give up on him and throw him under the bus because they don't know who he is. He's human and even though I don't condone the bad decisions he's made, he's endeared himself to me once again as a broken man. That, I can identify with. I've always loved Brett Favre for his transparency.

I write all of this with his future uncertain. His consecutive games streak will likely end this weekend. His first start was in Green Bay and his last start is going to be in Green Bay. 19+ years of heroism and magic alongside real life and brokenness. His pain threshold is out of this world, but it appears as though he is just like me - human. I like that.

Brett Favre's legacy is preserved, but I'm pretty sure you need to be a Packers fan to understand it.

WWCA Coaches Convention

I was recently asked to speak at the Wisconsin Wrestling Coaches Association Fall Coaches Convention. I was honored because my good friend Mark Hull was the one who asked. Mark is the regional director for Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) and this year FCA will be hosting a break-out session on Saturday morning at the Coaches Convention in Green Bay. Every year, FCA holds a breakfast banquet at the NCAA Division 1 National Championships and it's very well attended, so my guess is many of the coaches are familiar with the idea. There could be hundreds of coaches in attendance.

I had originally planned on not going to the Coaches Convention this year. I was scheduled to be in Vancouver, CAN for an international wrestling tournament, but it all changed. It's clear to me that God wanted me in Green Bay speaking to my peers.

If I'm honest, I'm a little nervous on how I'll be received by the coaches. I'm a young, 31 year old coach who hasn't been around the block like some of the grandfathers of the sport. Many of them could wonder what I could possibly offer them, spiritually speaking. Wisdom comes with age and, frankly, I don't have the years of experience like many others. It's alright; I understand. I am confident, though, that God has blessed me and uniquely positioned me to have an impact in the lives of other coaches, regardless of age.

If I trust God in this moment, this could actually be one of the most important days of my life. As an athlete, I pointed my success towards Him. I wanted to make God's name known through my athletic accomplishments. I knew that my name was not going to last very long while God's will last for an eternity. I wanted my career to be about His name, not mine. Now, as a coach, the focus is the same: make God's name the main idea of my story. This is an opportunity to point everything toward God. My name will be on the brochure and program, but God is going to get the credit.

If you're the praying type, I ask that you would pray that I will boldly and confidently represent Christ in a way that is unique to my own personality as a coach and that I would be a catalyst in a move of God that will change the entire wrestling culture for the glory of God. If you're not the praying type, that's alright, but I want you to know that I just prayed for you to embrace God like you've never done before. :)