The morning after the best finish in the long history of the University of Wisconsin wrestling program, I'm moved to write about one my heroes: head coach Barry Davis.
When I was a sophomore in high school, my dad found a front row seat in the UW-Field House during my quarterfinal match at the state tournament. When Barry took the open seat next to him, my dad asked if he had his eye on anyone that weekend. Barry pointed in my direction and said, "that Kevin Black kid right there." As proud as can be, my dad introduced himself. That moment started a family friendship that will last forever.
During my senior year, the most difficult part in choosing a college was trying to discern what Barry was actually saying. He was thinking 1,000 miles per hour and he talked even faster. I had to pay attention closely so I could follow along with his lingo because no one understood what he was saying. He had an excitement for life that I wanted to be a part of.
On my recruiting visit, he picked me up at the airport in his Chevy Blazer and took me for the "ride of my life." He raced down University Avenue timing each stop light. Each time, I clinched the door handle because I thought he was going to run the red light. Without touching the break, the light turned green as he passed through the intersection. I was overcome by his competitive nature and made my decision to be a Badger. I have never second guessed my decision.
Barry told me that he was looking for good wrestlers, but also for great people. Madison has the potential to change teenagers who are in a vulnerable state. Fortunately, Barry helped steer me in the right direction. The path that I chose was the same one Barry was already on. My number one priority became glorifying God. Barry set a great example of what that looked like and it created a bond that was stronger than anyone elses in the wrestling room. He was my coach, but he was also my brother in Christ. He held me to a higher standard and we held each other accountable.
I have countless stories of Barry Davis. One time, we were traveling back from Central Iowa together and we had talked about everything imaginable for 5-plus hours. We ran out of discussion topics 30 minutes from Madison, so we focused on the road ahead. Since it was almost 2:00am, Barry was already tired and he started nodding off at the wheel. I didn't have anything to talk about and I was afraid to nudge him because I didn't want to embarrass him. After several nods, he fell asleep. His chin hit his chest and he was out, but the car stayed in between the lines. I didn't know what to do. Only Barry could drive while sleeping. His eyes were closed for at least 20 seconds (and it seemed like five minutes) before he picked up his head. Then it was business as usual. We still didn't have anything to talk about the remainder of the trip.
In Ohio State, he got hopped-up on (Diet) Mountain Dew. He came to my room late with Scott Mottice and did flips on the beds, push-ups on the floor and jumped from bed-to-bed. I laughed as hard as I ever had before. Later in my career, he tried to quit regular Mountain Dew. He showed me his scientific secret one day as he kept a 2-liter picher in his mini-fridge with one can of Sprite, one can of Diet Mountain Dew and two cans of regular Mountain Dew in an attempt to ween himself from the Dew.
He also had a "thing" for Cyndi Lauper. He would put her greatest hits in the CD player and go to work on the AirDyne. No one could out work him; I tried every day. If we placed top 7 in the NCAA's, he said he would dye his hair like Cyndi Lauper - red, orange (pronouced "oi-ange") and blue. Unfortunately, he never did.
The team gave him a hard time because he loved finishing sentences with, "and doin' that" or "and things and such." It's still an inside joke with many of my teammates.
Knowing his personality and kind heart, my favorite story of Barry was when he stuck his foot in his mouth with a recruit my junior year. The father of the athlete told Barry that he was concerned about college wrestling because it's very boring to watch and the matches are all low scoring. Barry assured him that it wasn't boring at Wisconsin because he had "these two Black boys that rolled around like a couple of monkeys!" Obviously, Barry was talking about Tony and me and our unorthodox style. The father was appalled and Barry did his best to dig himself out of the hole. Needless to say, that recruit never did become a Badger.
I could go on for days about Barry and the stories that make me laugh, but I don't want to take away from the reason I wrote about him today. During the recruiting process, he tells kids that he cares more about his athletes as men than he does about them as wrestlers. To him, it's about the big picture, not the fleeting fame. I had an opportunity to experience him "put his money where his mouth is."
I went to Wisconsin to win a national title. My career had progressed to the point that I had set myself up for a legitimate chance as a senior. By the end of January, I was ranked #2 in the nation and set to compete in the All-Star meet (#1 vs. #2, now it's done before the season). We had dual meets against Michigan and Michigan State the weekend before the meet. In a 10-0 win over my Michigan State opponent, I hurt my knee defending a high crotch. It progressively got worse throughout the night and Barry pulled the plug on the All-Star meet.
After returning to Madison, I had an MRI and the results showed a torn meniscus--a typical wrestling injury. The tear happened in a way that it could have been repaired. It had also torn and set in the joint, so my knee was "locked" and I couldn't wrestle. The decision was mine to make. Repair it and keep the cartilage or remove it and wrestle at Big Tens. My wife is a runner and we had dreams of a life of running together with our family, but I had a dream of winning a national title. I thought about it, sought wise Christian council and then went to Barry for his advice.
Barry said the decision wasn't mine and as the head coach, he was making the decision. I was going to have it repaired. He said he wasn't going to let me make a decision that impacted today when I had a family to consider. We cried and hugged and he told me a national title isn't worth the aches and pains I'd face when I got older. He didn't want me to hurt playing with my children. He definitely lived up to his end of the deal when he said he was going to treat me like a man.
He prayed for me, hurt for me, felt joy over me and loved me like a son. For as long as I live, I'll have Barry's back because he had mine. He had the foresight to think about my future when I didn't. I know I'm going to have more time with my children than I would have had the podium.
Thanks Barry! You're my hero.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Ahhhh, the Kohl Center - 2010
Last night was one of the great nights that I've experienced in the Kohl Center. There were some tremendous matches and I was proud to see a few Victory athletes succeed with exciting finishes. As a club, we train our athletes for Saturday night in the Kohl Center and we saw 12 Victory athletes standing on top of the Victory Stand.
What was most gratifying was how each of them won. I think first of Corey Hodowanic and his double overtime win over two-time state champion Justin Mudlaff. Corey set his sights on Mudlaff last year after finishing 3rd. Together, we orchestrated a plan to put him at his best last night and he was. He peaked at 6:30pm on Saturday, February 27th, as the plan predicted. The extra AirDyne sprints, the individual technique sessions, etc. set him up for that moment. A late second takedown forced overtime. In an overtime match, how could he be denied? He had worked too hard and spent a year developing the mental toughness and awareness to persevere. Completing the Gauntlet (27-hours of continuous working out), among other creative activities, made him rock solid in overtime.
Corey wasn't the only Victory athlete who "grinded it out" in the finals. Brayden Wienke won a close match against a longtime rival and Joe Raygor scored a takedown in overtime to win their second titles. Neither of them were rattled, even if their families and friends were. They had been thrust into these situations many times at Victory. Climbing the Incline at the Olympic Training Center, early morning workouts and late night runs helped make the difference. However, once again, the AirDyne was THE difference.
When Joe was recovering from knee surgery, I introduced him to our AirDyne and told him that they were going to become best friends. It was definitely a love-hate relationship and I remember telling him to hate it now and love it later. Today, I'm sure he loves that AirDyne. So does Brayden.
In January, we started adding short AirDyne sprints after practice for Brayden. He was apprehensive about sitting on that large seat each time, but I was by his side pushing him along. Sometimes I even helped pump the arms to keep his rpm's high enough for the workout that he needed. After the Regional tournament, he came to Victory early and I put him through a light technique session and then AirDyne sprints. He thought there were five one minute goes in this workout. When he finished his five, I went into my office and told him he had "one more." He went and gave it his all one more time. He hobbled back into my office and once again I said, "one more." He rolled his eyes and did it. When he came back, it was "one more." Each time, I could hear him pushing the pace harder and harder each time. I knew it was working and he was doing alone. He ended up doing five "one more" sprints to total 10. He couldn't believe he actually had done a 10. He was wiped out, but he felt great.
In the moment of battle, he responded with "one more" at the best time. In the second period, he did a beautiful lateral on the edge of the mat and wasn't awarded a takedown to the chagrin of everyone cheering for him. With only 6 seconds left in the period, he hustled back to the center and took a shot and secured a takedown in the closing seconds to go up 3-0. It was the difference in his 3-2 victory. If he wasn't conditioned for "one more," he may have let those 6 seconds slide and go into the third ahead only 1-0, but he didn't. His state title was won that night he did "one more" on the AirDyne.
There were other memories last, but these three athletes have committed more than anyone in the history of Victory School of Wrestling. It's great to see them get what they deserve. The coaching staff continually reminded these athletes that there was, indeed, money in the bank from their investments and they were to collect their dividends in the Kohl Center. They did.
Ahhhh, the Kohl Center...
What was most gratifying was how each of them won. I think first of Corey Hodowanic and his double overtime win over two-time state champion Justin Mudlaff. Corey set his sights on Mudlaff last year after finishing 3rd. Together, we orchestrated a plan to put him at his best last night and he was. He peaked at 6:30pm on Saturday, February 27th, as the plan predicted. The extra AirDyne sprints, the individual technique sessions, etc. set him up for that moment. A late second takedown forced overtime. In an overtime match, how could he be denied? He had worked too hard and spent a year developing the mental toughness and awareness to persevere. Completing the Gauntlet (27-hours of continuous working out), among other creative activities, made him rock solid in overtime.
Corey wasn't the only Victory athlete who "grinded it out" in the finals. Brayden Wienke won a close match against a longtime rival and Joe Raygor scored a takedown in overtime to win their second titles. Neither of them were rattled, even if their families and friends were. They had been thrust into these situations many times at Victory. Climbing the Incline at the Olympic Training Center, early morning workouts and late night runs helped make the difference. However, once again, the AirDyne was THE difference.
When Joe was recovering from knee surgery, I introduced him to our AirDyne and told him that they were going to become best friends. It was definitely a love-hate relationship and I remember telling him to hate it now and love it later. Today, I'm sure he loves that AirDyne. So does Brayden.
In January, we started adding short AirDyne sprints after practice for Brayden. He was apprehensive about sitting on that large seat each time, but I was by his side pushing him along. Sometimes I even helped pump the arms to keep his rpm's high enough for the workout that he needed. After the Regional tournament, he came to Victory early and I put him through a light technique session and then AirDyne sprints. He thought there were five one minute goes in this workout. When he finished his five, I went into my office and told him he had "one more." He went and gave it his all one more time. He hobbled back into my office and once again I said, "one more." He rolled his eyes and did it. When he came back, it was "one more." Each time, I could hear him pushing the pace harder and harder each time. I knew it was working and he was doing alone. He ended up doing five "one more" sprints to total 10. He couldn't believe he actually had done a 10. He was wiped out, but he felt great.
In the moment of battle, he responded with "one more" at the best time. In the second period, he did a beautiful lateral on the edge of the mat and wasn't awarded a takedown to the chagrin of everyone cheering for him. With only 6 seconds left in the period, he hustled back to the center and took a shot and secured a takedown in the closing seconds to go up 3-0. It was the difference in his 3-2 victory. If he wasn't conditioned for "one more," he may have let those 6 seconds slide and go into the third ahead only 1-0, but he didn't. His state title was won that night he did "one more" on the AirDyne.
There were other memories last, but these three athletes have committed more than anyone in the history of Victory School of Wrestling. It's great to see them get what they deserve. The coaching staff continually reminded these athletes that there was, indeed, money in the bank from their investments and they were to collect their dividends in the Kohl Center. They did.
Ahhhh, the Kohl Center...
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Ahhhh, the Kohl Center - 1999-2003
My journey to the Kohl Center was an easy trip from 1999-2003. I went to school at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, so I was a short moped ride from the epicenter of wrestling. I found my way to most of the action, but it wasn't as special for me because I wasn't emotionally attached to anyone, except in 1999.
In 1999, my brother wrestled at 112 pounds and won his second state title. I watched from 304. It was somewhat difficult watching him from so far away. I commend the fans who spend day after day in those sections because I found it hard to feel the energy that I remembered so well while I was on the floor. Since 1999, I've found ways to get on the floor because I love that energy.
Tony had a very interesting season and it was full of adversity. He was the lone competitor in the finals from our area that season, which was fitting for how his season went. He seemed to go at it all alone. His training partners had graduated, his closest friends had graduated and those that shared the leadership responsibilities with him graduated. Not only were the dynamics in the wrestling room different, it seemed as though the coaches from our area were out to get him. I still don't understand why. In the end, the 17 year old senior acted far more like an adult then the coaches that tried to back him into a corner.
When Tony graduated and joined me in Madison, we followed the tournament together and my family came to visit us that weekend. We were focused on preparing for the Big Ten Championships and went to class and practice during the daytime sessions. One year, we wrestled Northwestern during the break before the semi-finals. I wrestled Tommy Vargas and gave him one of the biggest "beatdowns" ever. It's funny, a wrestling fan mentioned that match to me this weekend. It was a butt kicking, but he left me with a left ring finger that is still pretty messed up.
There were a lot of great individuals that came through the Kohl Center during my college years, but I didn't take the time to follow them much because I was focused on my responsibilities as a student-athlete. My fondest memories of the Kohl Center during this time come from our infamous Kohl Center runs.
We would congregate at 6:00am in the wrestling room and take University vans to the Kohl Center for sprints in the hallway. They were epic workouts. I remember the gut wrenching feeling that I'd get everytime I pushed myself beyond exhaustion. That's what hard work was about. I never lost a "race" in the Kohl Center in the years our team worked out in the hallways. Now, everytime I step foot inside the building, that's the first thing I think about, not my acheivements. I remember Barry's brainchild, the "Big Mamma" and the most difficult "Super Big Mamma" - run the stairs, sprint a lap to the next set of stairs, run those and sprint a final lap...repeat. Lovely. Oh man, the burn in the legs and in the lungs...I loved it.
Whenever I go up the stairs in the Kohl Center now, I do it swiftly. It's still conditioned in my mind to spring up them as quickly as I can. And who can forget about Tom Petty, AC/DC, Tim McGraw, Monday Night Raw, etc.?
Ahhhh, the Kohl Center...
In 1999, my brother wrestled at 112 pounds and won his second state title. I watched from 304. It was somewhat difficult watching him from so far away. I commend the fans who spend day after day in those sections because I found it hard to feel the energy that I remembered so well while I was on the floor. Since 1999, I've found ways to get on the floor because I love that energy.
Tony had a very interesting season and it was full of adversity. He was the lone competitor in the finals from our area that season, which was fitting for how his season went. He seemed to go at it all alone. His training partners had graduated, his closest friends had graduated and those that shared the leadership responsibilities with him graduated. Not only were the dynamics in the wrestling room different, it seemed as though the coaches from our area were out to get him. I still don't understand why. In the end, the 17 year old senior acted far more like an adult then the coaches that tried to back him into a corner.
When Tony graduated and joined me in Madison, we followed the tournament together and my family came to visit us that weekend. We were focused on preparing for the Big Ten Championships and went to class and practice during the daytime sessions. One year, we wrestled Northwestern during the break before the semi-finals. I wrestled Tommy Vargas and gave him one of the biggest "beatdowns" ever. It's funny, a wrestling fan mentioned that match to me this weekend. It was a butt kicking, but he left me with a left ring finger that is still pretty messed up.
There were a lot of great individuals that came through the Kohl Center during my college years, but I didn't take the time to follow them much because I was focused on my responsibilities as a student-athlete. My fondest memories of the Kohl Center during this time come from our infamous Kohl Center runs.
We would congregate at 6:00am in the wrestling room and take University vans to the Kohl Center for sprints in the hallway. They were epic workouts. I remember the gut wrenching feeling that I'd get everytime I pushed myself beyond exhaustion. That's what hard work was about. I never lost a "race" in the Kohl Center in the years our team worked out in the hallways. Now, everytime I step foot inside the building, that's the first thing I think about, not my acheivements. I remember Barry's brainchild, the "Big Mamma" and the most difficult "Super Big Mamma" - run the stairs, sprint a lap to the next set of stairs, run those and sprint a final lap...repeat. Lovely. Oh man, the burn in the legs and in the lungs...I loved it.
Whenever I go up the stairs in the Kohl Center now, I do it swiftly. It's still conditioned in my mind to spring up them as quickly as I can. And who can forget about Tom Petty, AC/DC, Tim McGraw, Monday Night Raw, etc.?
Ahhhh, the Kohl Center...
Friday, February 26, 2010
Ahhhh, the Kohl Center - Remembering 1998
I've made the annual pilgrimage to the Kohl Center since 1998. The last weekend in February is the grand daddy of them all in the state of Wisconsin...the WIAA Individual State Wrestling Tournament; there's nothing like it.
From my days as a competitor on that cold arena floor to my collegiate years watching from the bleachers to one year mat side as a coach and to now from the media booth, my memories in this facility are countless, precious and timeless.
The immediate memories that come to mind are obvious and accompanied by a smile and sense of acheivement. A few others bring back sore memories and some force pain to the forefront of my mind. All of them, however, are valuable moments that have helped shape my life.
Remembering 1998
The Kohl Center opened its doors to the high school state tournament in 1998. I was a senior looking for my fourth consecutive state title and hoping to cap off an undefeated career. In the moment, it was all surreal - the abundance of media attention, the plethora of good wishes and the tension and nerves that were impossible to escape. I wasn't "nervous" to compete, though, I was nervous for how it would all work out.
As a wrestler, the mat is like a sanctuary where all of our troubles and concerns disappear. I was obsessed with my routine and moving from "the Barn" to the Kohl Center greatly affected it. What locker would I use, where would I go to the bathroom? I thought my world was upside down because I wasn't able to fulfill some of my supersitions. This was a very big deal to me. Not only did that provide a possible distraction, but I had the KARE 11 news team following me around town that weekend. They were everywhere - they video tapped me in the car, getting dressed, warming up - it was overwhelming, but I was privileged to be in that position.
It could have all gone wrong, but I was fortunate to have a coach who understood the situation very well, parents who loved me and fans who were extremely supportive. For me, everything was set up like perfection for perfection. I won the matches and my name is in the program, but it wasn't done alone. I was proud to share that moment with my coach immediately after my hand was raised. Following a hug from Coach, I didn't know what to do for the first time that weekend, so I ran to my mom. She was there as she always had been - with one eye opened, and one eye closed. Hugging her, then my sisters and my dad, is my fondest memory from the state tournament in 1998.
Of course, there were other significant moments that weekend. My semi-finals bout with Justin Tritz is recalled most often when I talk to youth wrestlers and fans. A few mind games that took place surrounding that match are still fresh in my mind. Following my quarterfinals match with Chad Dercks, I slapped Justin on the butt to wish him good luck. He needed to beat Trevor Spencer in an exciting match to get his chance against me in the semi-finals. My subtle gesture forced him into a frenzy. I'm not going to pretend it wasn't intentional and calculated even though it was done in good sportsmanship. I was on his mind and I wanted him to know that I wasn't going to be shaking. I welcomed the challenge. "How could he beat me?" I remember asking myself and I think that mindset showed in that moment. That's when the match was won.
When the match finally arrived. I was amped more than ever been. The crowd of 14,000 gave us a standing ovation BEFORE the match! It was an amazing moment. Coach Brandvold and I looked at each and laughed. We couldn't believe it. He told me to enjoy it and "go have some fun." And I did. It was the most fun I had on a wrestling mat in my high school career. The 360-spin into a double leg takedown early in the match is the number one requested technique from coaches at clinics that I perform. It was done in the heat-of-the-moment and I did it because I wanted to put on a show. I think I did. After the match, we received another standing ovation. Talk about fun! I often see Justin at wrestling events because he owns and operates Trackwrestling. Everytime I see him, I take a short trip down memory lane and relive our six minutes together.
That weekend was full of other great moments. My brother turned in one of the most dominating performances that I've ever seen or heard of at the Wisconsin state tournament. It was his first state championship and he won it in style with three technical falls and one pin (which would have been a tech fall). He outscored his opponents by an astonishing 67-2 cumulated score. Joe Cudd also won his second straight undefeated state title with a pin in the finals. He had an epic showdown with Dave Neumyer in the quarterfinals. It was one of the best heavyweight matches I've seen in this building. Who would have thought that Neumyer and Joe would become great friends?
The tournament was tremendous, but so was Lombardino's, Mickey's Dairy Bar, the hotel stay, my blankie and mixed tape, the ride home, Hoag, and of course, the Super Nintendo. During the break prior to the finals, Tony beat me four times in a row in Madden Football and I told Brandvold I wasn't leaving the hotel room until I beat him, even I had to miss the finals. Brandvold understood. He always did when it came to things like that. I'm still not clear if Tony let me win the fifth game out of fear that he'd miss his finals match, too. I think he knew I was serious. I think I was.
This building is chock full of memories from 1998. They're not limited to that storybook ending to my career, though. They've continued year after year and I'm going to tell you about them in the blogs to follow.
Ahhhh, the Kohl Center...
From my days as a competitor on that cold arena floor to my collegiate years watching from the bleachers to one year mat side as a coach and to now from the media booth, my memories in this facility are countless, precious and timeless.
The immediate memories that come to mind are obvious and accompanied by a smile and sense of acheivement. A few others bring back sore memories and some force pain to the forefront of my mind. All of them, however, are valuable moments that have helped shape my life.
Remembering 1998
The Kohl Center opened its doors to the high school state tournament in 1998. I was a senior looking for my fourth consecutive state title and hoping to cap off an undefeated career. In the moment, it was all surreal - the abundance of media attention, the plethora of good wishes and the tension and nerves that were impossible to escape. I wasn't "nervous" to compete, though, I was nervous for how it would all work out.
As a wrestler, the mat is like a sanctuary where all of our troubles and concerns disappear. I was obsessed with my routine and moving from "the Barn" to the Kohl Center greatly affected it. What locker would I use, where would I go to the bathroom? I thought my world was upside down because I wasn't able to fulfill some of my supersitions. This was a very big deal to me. Not only did that provide a possible distraction, but I had the KARE 11 news team following me around town that weekend. They were everywhere - they video tapped me in the car, getting dressed, warming up - it was overwhelming, but I was privileged to be in that position.
It could have all gone wrong, but I was fortunate to have a coach who understood the situation very well, parents who loved me and fans who were extremely supportive. For me, everything was set up like perfection for perfection. I won the matches and my name is in the program, but it wasn't done alone. I was proud to share that moment with my coach immediately after my hand was raised. Following a hug from Coach, I didn't know what to do for the first time that weekend, so I ran to my mom. She was there as she always had been - with one eye opened, and one eye closed. Hugging her, then my sisters and my dad, is my fondest memory from the state tournament in 1998.
Of course, there were other significant moments that weekend. My semi-finals bout with Justin Tritz is recalled most often when I talk to youth wrestlers and fans. A few mind games that took place surrounding that match are still fresh in my mind. Following my quarterfinals match with Chad Dercks, I slapped Justin on the butt to wish him good luck. He needed to beat Trevor Spencer in an exciting match to get his chance against me in the semi-finals. My subtle gesture forced him into a frenzy. I'm not going to pretend it wasn't intentional and calculated even though it was done in good sportsmanship. I was on his mind and I wanted him to know that I wasn't going to be shaking. I welcomed the challenge. "How could he beat me?" I remember asking myself and I think that mindset showed in that moment. That's when the match was won.
When the match finally arrived. I was amped more than ever been. The crowd of 14,000 gave us a standing ovation BEFORE the match! It was an amazing moment. Coach Brandvold and I looked at each and laughed. We couldn't believe it. He told me to enjoy it and "go have some fun." And I did. It was the most fun I had on a wrestling mat in my high school career. The 360-spin into a double leg takedown early in the match is the number one requested technique from coaches at clinics that I perform. It was done in the heat-of-the-moment and I did it because I wanted to put on a show. I think I did. After the match, we received another standing ovation. Talk about fun! I often see Justin at wrestling events because he owns and operates Trackwrestling. Everytime I see him, I take a short trip down memory lane and relive our six minutes together.
That weekend was full of other great moments. My brother turned in one of the most dominating performances that I've ever seen or heard of at the Wisconsin state tournament. It was his first state championship and he won it in style with three technical falls and one pin (which would have been a tech fall). He outscored his opponents by an astonishing 67-2 cumulated score. Joe Cudd also won his second straight undefeated state title with a pin in the finals. He had an epic showdown with Dave Neumyer in the quarterfinals. It was one of the best heavyweight matches I've seen in this building. Who would have thought that Neumyer and Joe would become great friends?
The tournament was tremendous, but so was Lombardino's, Mickey's Dairy Bar, the hotel stay, my blankie and mixed tape, the ride home, Hoag, and of course, the Super Nintendo. During the break prior to the finals, Tony beat me four times in a row in Madden Football and I told Brandvold I wasn't leaving the hotel room until I beat him, even I had to miss the finals. Brandvold understood. He always did when it came to things like that. I'm still not clear if Tony let me win the fifth game out of fear that he'd miss his finals match, too. I think he knew I was serious. I think I was.
This building is chock full of memories from 1998. They're not limited to that storybook ending to my career, though. They've continued year after year and I'm going to tell you about them in the blogs to follow.
Ahhhh, the Kohl Center...
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
What I've learned as a parent (part 2)
I had a robust plan to share my feelings about my experience as a parent before being a parent took precedence the past few days. As a result, I've been unable to write. Isaiah has been sick a lot this month and spent the night in the hospital with pneumonia and RSV. Poor little guy. Needless to say, I haven't found much time to write in this blog.
I've had a lot of other ideas lately, so this will be the final entry in this short blog series. I have learned a lot as a parent, though. As you can see with this post, sometimes life can be unpredictable. I still want to share two ideas with you. 1.) Children are smart, and 2.) they're not as smart as we'd like them to be sometimes.
Children are smart. This is a fact. They're brains are like sponges and absorb an abundance of information daily. As infants, they're just beginning to understand the world and they make large gains each day. They can sense when you're happy, mad or scared and their reactions are often influenced by your reactions.
This has become very important for me to understand and live with. I think it's important to remember that your child is always looking to you for your guidance. They're watching what you say, how you respond to situations and how you treat other people. These behaviors are learned at a very young age.
I see parents harbor ill feelings towards others and believe their child doesn't know, but they sense your feelings. Be careful, you're demonstrating to someone very precious how to live the rest of their life.
Wrestling parents need to heed this advice. Yelling at an official sets a bad example, yelling at your child because he doesn't perform like you'd like sets the worst example (it leads to performance-based acceptance which is not the topic today).
They are smart little people, but not as smart as we think they should be at times. I recall the progression that I learned math as being very sequential. When I finally started addition and subtraction I needed to "master" it before I took on multiplication and division. Additionally, I memorized the time tables before I tackled long division. If I didn't have a grasp on these basics, I wouldn't have been able to do algebra and so-on. Not only do we follow simple progressions in the learning process, our minds develop at different rates and young children don't have the capacity to solve complex problems without the necessary critical thinking tools. This takes time as children grow.
This is similar when it comes to physical development. Kids can't complete complex movements without the basics...you need to walk before you run, right? Many parents forget this and I see, first hand, parents pushing their children to do things they're not ready for and getting upset when they don't see the results they're hoping for. Be patient and allow your child to develop at the appropriate rate. Kindergartners don't have categories in their mind to understand negative numbers, so we can't expect them to start on calculus.
Remember, love your children. If you love them, you'll encourage them to learn, but won't push them to do something they're not ready for. Love is not self-serving. Love is about the other, and this time it's about your child.
I've had a lot of other ideas lately, so this will be the final entry in this short blog series. I have learned a lot as a parent, though. As you can see with this post, sometimes life can be unpredictable. I still want to share two ideas with you. 1.) Children are smart, and 2.) they're not as smart as we'd like them to be sometimes.
Children are smart. This is a fact. They're brains are like sponges and absorb an abundance of information daily. As infants, they're just beginning to understand the world and they make large gains each day. They can sense when you're happy, mad or scared and their reactions are often influenced by your reactions.
This has become very important for me to understand and live with. I think it's important to remember that your child is always looking to you for your guidance. They're watching what you say, how you respond to situations and how you treat other people. These behaviors are learned at a very young age.
I see parents harbor ill feelings towards others and believe their child doesn't know, but they sense your feelings. Be careful, you're demonstrating to someone very precious how to live the rest of their life.
Wrestling parents need to heed this advice. Yelling at an official sets a bad example, yelling at your child because he doesn't perform like you'd like sets the worst example (it leads to performance-based acceptance which is not the topic today).
They are smart little people, but not as smart as we think they should be at times. I recall the progression that I learned math as being very sequential. When I finally started addition and subtraction I needed to "master" it before I took on multiplication and division. Additionally, I memorized the time tables before I tackled long division. If I didn't have a grasp on these basics, I wouldn't have been able to do algebra and so-on. Not only do we follow simple progressions in the learning process, our minds develop at different rates and young children don't have the capacity to solve complex problems without the necessary critical thinking tools. This takes time as children grow.
This is similar when it comes to physical development. Kids can't complete complex movements without the basics...you need to walk before you run, right? Many parents forget this and I see, first hand, parents pushing their children to do things they're not ready for and getting upset when they don't see the results they're hoping for. Be patient and allow your child to develop at the appropriate rate. Kindergartners don't have categories in their mind to understand negative numbers, so we can't expect them to start on calculus.
Remember, love your children. If you love them, you'll encourage them to learn, but won't push them to do something they're not ready for. Love is not self-serving. Love is about the other, and this time it's about your child.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
What I've learned as a parent (part 1)
Becoming a parent has been one of the greatest moments in my life. As Isaiah grows and we spend more time together, I love him more and more. I'm going to admit, though, I didn't feel an instant connection to him the moment he was born. However, our bond grows every moment and this makes parenthood great.
I've learned a lot about myself during these 16 months and know that I have a lot more to learn. To be honest, I still have no clue what to do in some circumstances and don't think I'm ready for everything that is to come. I hope Liz and I can figure it out as we go...
Some of the things that I've learned have helped me become a better coach, husband and man. I want to talk about a few of them over the next few days, so I'll be doing a short blog series entitles "What I've learned as a parent." I hope it gives you insight into my world, but also helps those with or without children see life, sports and God through a different lens. It might also give you a better idea to why I do things the way I do (there is a method to my madness).
We have an unlimited capacity to love
God is love. He created us for relationship (with Him) and gave us the ability to love others. He didn't put a limit on it, though. Think about it, we have an unlimited capacity to love. When Isaiah was born, my love for Liz and my family became stronger and is still growing. I love Liz more than other human being on the planet and Isaiah comes in a close second. When Isaiah was born, I didn't have to divide the love that I already had for Liz and give part of it to her and part to Isaiah. No way, my love for Liz immediately grew and as I witness her connection to Isaiah and see her commitment to our family, it grows even more.
I didn't understand love like I do now. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
I like dissecting this verse on many levels, but the part that sticks out the most is love is not proud. To me, pride means that you love yourself more than anyone else. Don't get me wrong, I love myself and struggle with pride often, but true love is not prideful. It's not about me; it's about others.
Love matters the most.
I've learned a lot about myself during these 16 months and know that I have a lot more to learn. To be honest, I still have no clue what to do in some circumstances and don't think I'm ready for everything that is to come. I hope Liz and I can figure it out as we go...
Some of the things that I've learned have helped me become a better coach, husband and man. I want to talk about a few of them over the next few days, so I'll be doing a short blog series entitles "What I've learned as a parent." I hope it gives you insight into my world, but also helps those with or without children see life, sports and God through a different lens. It might also give you a better idea to why I do things the way I do (there is a method to my madness).
We have an unlimited capacity to love
God is love. He created us for relationship (with Him) and gave us the ability to love others. He didn't put a limit on it, though. Think about it, we have an unlimited capacity to love. When Isaiah was born, my love for Liz and my family became stronger and is still growing. I love Liz more than other human being on the planet and Isaiah comes in a close second. When Isaiah was born, I didn't have to divide the love that I already had for Liz and give part of it to her and part to Isaiah. No way, my love for Liz immediately grew and as I witness her connection to Isaiah and see her commitment to our family, it grows even more.
I didn't understand love like I do now. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
I like dissecting this verse on many levels, but the part that sticks out the most is love is not proud. To me, pride means that you love yourself more than anyone else. Don't get me wrong, I love myself and struggle with pride often, but true love is not prideful. It's not about me; it's about others.
Love matters the most.
Monday, February 15, 2010
We make it our goal to please him
Ask ten people on the street what their goal in life is, and you'll get a variety of answers. Usually, ten completely different answers. Additionally, ask most athletes what their purpose is and they'll quickly recite their individual goals. However, are these people's priorities in order?
The Apostle Paul had no problem telling others what his life's purpose was, from 2 Corinthians 5:9, he says, "So we make it our goal to please him."
The first purpose at Victory School of Wrestling - beyond developing championship character, morality and work ethic, creating high school state champions or anything else - is to please God. The challenge as an athlete is to refrain from asking what will make me happy, as if winning and accomplishments will fulfill us. We must ask, "what will make God happy?" This is where we can draw the most strength and compete with maximum motivation. And just in case it's still not entirely clear, Paul says a few verses later, "Those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again" (2 Corinthians 5:15).
Last summer, athletes at Victory embarked on an incredible, life changing journey as they completed "The Gauntlet." 27-hours of continuous activities couldn't have been accomplished on their own. They had to dig deeper than what they were accustomed to and find a new strength from within - soul power. This treasure was stored in jars of clay and they needed to break those jars to expose the treasure that was Jesus. They were "hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body" (2 Corinthians 4:8-10).
Just as Jesus went to the cross, so must I go to the cross, always considering myself as carrying around "the death of Jesus" so that his new life - his motivations, his purposes, his favor - might dominate in everything I do.
Nail it and press on. Go to the cross. Put all your transgressions, troubles and fears behind you. You can move forward with maximum motivation to please God, and as we've stated at Victory this month, like a crash of rhinos!
By taking this approach, how will you ever lose? Our victory is already won! I'm sure it's pretty simple to understand why we call it Victory School of Wrestling.
All this for a King!
The Apostle Paul had no problem telling others what his life's purpose was, from 2 Corinthians 5:9, he says, "So we make it our goal to please him."
The first purpose at Victory School of Wrestling - beyond developing championship character, morality and work ethic, creating high school state champions or anything else - is to please God. The challenge as an athlete is to refrain from asking what will make me happy, as if winning and accomplishments will fulfill us. We must ask, "what will make God happy?" This is where we can draw the most strength and compete with maximum motivation. And just in case it's still not entirely clear, Paul says a few verses later, "Those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again" (2 Corinthians 5:15).
Last summer, athletes at Victory embarked on an incredible, life changing journey as they completed "The Gauntlet." 27-hours of continuous activities couldn't have been accomplished on their own. They had to dig deeper than what they were accustomed to and find a new strength from within - soul power. This treasure was stored in jars of clay and they needed to break those jars to expose the treasure that was Jesus. They were "hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body" (2 Corinthians 4:8-10).
Just as Jesus went to the cross, so must I go to the cross, always considering myself as carrying around "the death of Jesus" so that his new life - his motivations, his purposes, his favor - might dominate in everything I do.
Nail it and press on. Go to the cross. Put all your transgressions, troubles and fears behind you. You can move forward with maximum motivation to please God, and as we've stated at Victory this month, like a crash of rhinos!
By taking this approach, how will you ever lose? Our victory is already won! I'm sure it's pretty simple to understand why we call it Victory School of Wrestling.
All this for a King!
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