Projects on top of projects

We have an unusually high number of projects happening right now at our house.  Each day seems to take on a mind of its own because we often don't know where to start with any of them.  We're currently in the middle of adding a mud room onto to our house, re-doing our back deck, re-arranging the garage/building storage and reconfiguring our basement to create a "secret lair" for the boys (a young boy's version of a man cave).  We kind of bit off more than we can chew.

It's been a bit overwhelming, to say the least, yet it's also provided many opportunities for new experiences.  So, it's also been fun and rewarding.

I don't have a carpenter's brain.  I'm not the typical handy-man, so I always feel out of place picking up lumber at Menard's.  Additionally, Liz is not a visionary when it comes to projects.  My dad is, though, and we've been making progress together.  We've also seen each of our boys step up to the plate in a variety of ways and we've been able to see their personalities shine in new ways.  That was unexpected.

We'll continue to hodge podge our way through these projects and eventually be finished with each one in time to start some more.  Just at the time when we've grown tired of the clutter, I have a fresh perspective on the chaos going on here.

I think it's important for us to take on some projects that are outside our areas of expertise and force us to see life through some different lenses, seek good advice, and ask for help.  In our situation, it might have made more sense for us to hire a contractor to complete our addition.  It would have been cleaner and more efficient, but we'd miss out on the growth areas and the opportunity to model to our children what we encourage them to do daily.

So, my advice tonight is to take on a project.  Build or create something.  Do something outside of your expertise and everyday routine that forces you to ask questions and get some help.  It's good for your soul and practice for the areas where you excel at life.

First Day of School

Today was the official "first day of school" in our household.  The middle school and high school year started yesterday, however, elementary schools in River Falls began today.

Isaiah is our oldest and is in 5th grade.  He has the same teacher for 5th grade as he did in 4th grade.  Micaiah is a 3rd grader and has a new teacher.  Our little squirt (Ezra) is an "older" in 1st grade.  He has the same teacher as last year, too, as he's in the multi-age Kindergarten/1st grade class with Mrs. Hanson.  All three of our boys will have had Mrs. Hanson for two years.  That's 6 consecutive years in her classroom.  She happens to be our neighbor, too!

There was a lot of excitement here this morning.  Liz had the day off, so we were fortunate enough to walk to the bus stop as big group of 5.  The boys could hardly contain themselves as they were ready with more than 40 minutes to spare.  Tomorrow will be another exciting day because the boys will need to be a little more self-sufficient with Liz heading to work just before the bus arrives.

Here's to an incredible 2019-20 school year!

Do you smile when no one is looking?

A small sentence stood out in an article that I recently read.  I've been pondering on it often over the last few days.

The article was about being appreciative and controlling your attention or what you choose to focus on.  It made me think that joy is not about my circumstances, but what God is doing in and through me.

Here's the sentence:

"One common thing to observe is how much you smile when no one is looking."

It's had me paying attention to where my attention is.  Am I satisfied with where I'm at in my life?  Do I choose gratitude enough to have a cheerful disposition so that I'm actually smiling?  Do I understand biblical joy enough to be content, and even smile on my free time?

When you're all alone, what do you focus on?  Do you smile when no one is looking?

Take the Stairs

I have several little idiosyncratic routines that I bestow upon my athletes.  They're often silly and create a number of interesting conversations.  At the same time, a few of them stick and become personal convictions of others.

I made a personal commitment to always choose the stairs and not take elevators.  When I traveled to Paris in 2001, I took the stairs to the 2nd level of the Eiffel Tower (674 steps) and went up and down the stairs outside the Sacre Coeur several times.  After that, there was no turning back and now traveling provides a lot of inconvenient obstacles.  My athletes will confirm this.

"Taking the stairs" went to a new level last week as one of our athletes moved into his 5th story dorm room.  Normally, it wouldn't be a conversation starter for him to take the stairs.  It's just the way it is and it's not negotiable.  However, the commitment went to new heights because he's fresh off ACL surgery.

They way we attack these small commitments is to remain 100% committed no matter what occurs.  It's easier to do something 100% of the time than it is 99% of the time.  The decision had already been made, so a repaired ACL wasn't going interfere with this college freshman taking the stairs.

What are some of your idiosyncrasies that you're certain set you apart?

College Move-In Day: Caution and Encouragement

Yesterday was the official move-in day at UW-RF.  Driving through campus, I felt excitement and optimism bubbling out of young men and women.  Students looked eager to take the next steps in their lifelong journey of education and self-discovering.  I love this weekend.  All over the US, from big public universities to small private liberal arts colleges, "welcome week" encourages inclusion and school spirit and sort of gives everyone the, "hey, go get it" feeling.  It represents a clean slate for so many students; a fresh start for many who are really just beginning their lives.

This is an interesting generation of students entering higher level education, isn’t it?  So many life experiences at 18 years old that generations past didn’t see. Some good, some not-so-good. They’re, by far the most globally connected generation in history with the entire world's information in their pocket.  They have learned about compassion since kindergarten, yet at the same time, they might also be one of the most uniformed and self-absorbed generations we've ever seen.
They’re misunderstood by many and still easy to figure out. They’re equal parts appreciative and entitled.  Good and bad.  Fearful and hopeful.


It seems as though their lives have been a constant juxtaposition up to this point.  Yet, they are the future.  They are the hope for our nation.  They are the next group of business leaders, philanthropists, parents, judges, teachers, politicians, etc., etc.  Many social scientists assert that these young adults will pass the generation ahead of them in many significant ways.  They are the change we've been waiting to see in this world.  They must be, right?  After all, that Ghandi quote was on the wall of every classroom they've been in since kindergarten.

Here, I saw several hundred (not an exaggeration) volunteers (I hope they weren't paid) of upperclassmen unloading cars and carrying boxes inside the dorms for the freshman.  Sure, it's welcoming, hospitable and all of those nice things.  But be careful.  This is big time stuff.  Showing up on campus scared and unsure of yourself isn't a bad thing.  Navigating your way on day one is critical to how the next 4-5 years will play out.  No one is going to carry your boxes in life or your books to class and countless other examples. 

They have what it takes to get the job done.  So, let's get out of their way.  Stop holding their hands and believe that the good stuff inside can be pulled out of them in the next few years.  Speak to their potential, not their problems.  Allow their potential to actually become potent in order to make a difference.  

The Aldi Shopping Cart

As many of you know, I enjoy conducting amateur social experiments.  Well, it's closer to justifying the phenomenon of people watching.  I do my best to learn from the behavior of others around me while gaining context and perspective on how the world works.

A hotbed for human behavior is the discount grocery store Aldi.  In addition to the cheap produce and surprisingly fresh tasting salmon, the most anticipated time about my trip to Aldi is the few moments in the parking lot before and after the shopping experience.  My Aldi trip is defined by the shopping cart.

I can't tell you how many times I've rolled into the parking lot sans quarter.  Of course, I try to keep the cupholder stocked with at least 3-4 quarters at all times.  You know, insurance.  But somehow I arrive empty more than I'd like to admit.  I've gone inside and made change for a dollar so I could rent a cart from the corral.  I've also made the decision to proceed without a cart and attempt the juggling act that is certain to follow.  It's impossible to run in just for avocados.  I seem to always grab additional salsa, gluten free granola, Bolthouse Farms "green juice," etc.  I drop several items on my way to the lightning fast checkout lane and secure a mini-workout with one-legged squats, grip work that burns my forearms, and so-on.

Standard protocol at Aldi: bring a quarter to get a cart, return the cart and get a quarter back.  This is all pretty straight forward stuff.  Or, is it?

What happens when what is expected is actually not the norm?

If I see a wanderer on his or her way into the store, am I supposed to offer my cart?  Do I ask for a quarter or graciously donate the cart?  Should the other make the generous offer of 25-cents?  Is that even considered generous?  So many questions.

What if, on my way into the store, the car next to me is loaded with groceries and the owner offers me his/her cart?  Do I simply say thanks and take the cart?  Or do I need to enter into the awkward negotiation to see if they want my quarter?  If they take my quarter, are they being stingy? Are they obligated to say, "nah, it's on me..."  And if that's out of obligation or pressure, is it true generosity?  And am I being ungrateful if I automatically assume they're offering me their cart so they don't have to walk it back to the corral?

So many questions over 25 cents at a store that we choose to shop at in order save a significant amount of money.

What does that 25 cents reveal in us, though?  Are we grateful in accepting a free cart or entitled if we do?  Are gracious for offering a cart or just lazy?  If the cart exchange happens outside of the corral, what is the expectation with that quarter?

I really don't want to walk all the way back to the store and leave my whining children in the car alone with new snacks, so I can look pious by giving it to someone else and one-up that piety with gracious humility by turning down their obligatory quarter offer.  You know, pay it forward kind of stuff.

I could also take that cart on my way in to save that person a trip.  You're welcome.  Yay, free cart for me.  I didn't even have to reveal that I was sans quarter today.  God blessed me, right?  Certainly, I don't want to take away another's opportunity to bless someone or to be a light that day by trying to offer 25 cents for their gift and servanthood.  That could actually be more offensive than not saying thank you for the free cart.  A gift with strings attached isn't truly a gift.  As a Christian, I know how to accept free gifts (like salvation).  But on the flip side, what an entitled prick, right?  What if I turn down their cart and get my own from the corral as they return theirs?

I'm confused.  What am I supposed to do?  Should I just put my head down, mind my own business and follow standard protocol?  Are the expectations different for an extrovert compared to an introvert?  I like engaging with others while I shop.  If I pretend I'm on the phone, does that change things?  Wait, what if the other person is a young female, does it look like I'm hitting on her if I give her a cart?  I definitely want to preserve my witness...especially in front of my kids.

Does that 25 cents really matter?  Does it reveal what's inside our soul?  Our true character?  It doesn't matter, does it?  Or maybe it matters a lot more than we think.

What are your thoughts on The Aldi Shopping Cart?

A blog for Ben Lee

Ben Lee graduated from River Falls High School in 1994.  As a member of the wrestling team, I remember watching him compete on the JV squad when he weighed less than 100 pounds.  With a baggy lycra singlet, he fought like crazy back then and now he's fighting for his life.

Here is a link to his Caring Bridge site: Support Ben Lee & His Family.

How does one make sense of things like this?  It's a sad time for the Lee family and I'm going to use it to elevate Ben into the spotlight so he knows that he made a difference.  He's a part of a bigger story.  Interconnected in a move of God.  So, I'm giving him his own blog post.

I wrote my first blog in 2009.  Very few people followed it and my posts were essentially a journal of my thoughts.  Most of those early posts had less than 10 viewers.

I didn't really have a plan, but I knew that I had things that needed to be said.  I just tried to put into words the things that God was teaching me through my various roles and relationships with others.  I left the results to God.

It didn't take long before I received random messages from friends on Facebook and people I didn't even know.  Many of them said they appreciated what I was doing and encouraged me to keep writing.  So I have.  And a decade later, I've been able to connect with hundreds of thousands of readers all over the world.  I believe God has used this blog in many ways and each time I sit down to write I think of my audience and one person always comes to mind: Ben Lee.

It's true.

The most important feedback that I have received about this blog came from Ben's sister almost 10 years ago.  Kaari grew up with my little sister and we've had conversations about our faith since the 90's.  She told me that Ben enjoyed reading my blogs and they had been positively influencing him.  The way she communicated this struck a cord inside my heart and I realized that God was doing something through this blog and, at times, these words were the only connection others had to the marvelous wonders of God.  I no longer had a choice.  I had to write.  The audience was, indeed, far and wide, but it was also very close and personal.

Between 2009 and 2015, our crew at Victory School of Wrestling crossed paths with Ben weekly as we were regulars at Steve's Pizza year round.  He was an artisan at the most popular pizza joint in town.  I can't imagine how many shrimp and gyro pizzas he crafted for athletes, coaches and parents across the road.

I'm sure Ben peeked through the looking glass window from time to time and drew some inspiration from what was happening on that 2nd floor.  People were moved by what we were doing because God was moving through us and our mission to impact the lives of others with Victory School of Wrestling wasn't confined to the walls of the wrestling room.  It was a global mission and people like Ben fit into what we were doing.  Simultaneously, people like Ben fueled our daily activity with encouragement and kindness.

Ben was making an impact on me so that I could impact others.  He was a reminder of my audience and that my words mattered.  He's a unique piece of the foundation that God used to move the mission.

Erwin McManus wrote the following in The Way of the Warrior:

I have lived too long to believe that these things are just coincidence.  The warrior leaves nothing to chance and finds rest in their intention.  The way of the warrior moves you into the path of interconnection.  The path of the warrior is filled with an array of seemingly random and serendipitous moments.  The warrior does not strive to create divine moments but feels confident that when they walk in their intention, those moments will come to them.  The warrior's courage comes in that even when they stand alone, they know they are never alone.  The warrior knows that when they move in their intention, the universe moves in their direction (page 166).

McManus also wrote, "You are more than you know, so stop underestimating who you are.  Who you are does not end at the border of your skin.  How you become who you are can be attributed as much to the world around you as the world within you."

Ben had a simple, yet profound, impact on me and, as a result, has been a part of a movement that has reached further than anyone in our sleepy town could have imagined.

Thank you, Ben.  May "the Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace."