I was fortunate to spend the weekend watching high school wrestling. Many things came to my attention and most of them don't get discussed on the Internet forums. So, I thought I would bring up a few here. These are purely cosmetic, however, I wasn't able to look beyond them. Feel free to discuss them on the comments below or anywhere else you might see fit.
About 10-15 years ago, a few teams rolled out "finals singlets." They were awesome. Usually white or gold, these special garments were saved for the individuals who reached the championship finals of prominent tournaments, like the state tournament. They were special and gave extra incentive to do well. Now, everyone gets to wear one. Most of the coaches have renamed them "championship singlets." It doesn't sit right at all to see two individuals square off for 11th place in championship singlets. Friends, no matter how you dice it, the 11th place bout is not the championship match. Maybe the kid fought hard and over-achieved to get there. Maybe he overcame an insurmountable amount of adversity, I'm not minimizing those efforts or heroics. Often times, the best stories happen there, but let's not pretend the consolation side, or even 3rd place for that matter, are championship finals matches. They're not.
Tattoos and cauliflower ear are pretty much the norm at high school wrestling tournaments. It was once unheard of for a high school kid to sport a tattoo. Currently, it's a wild fad. Cauliflower ears were reserved for only a few exceptional high school wrestlers and predominantly collegiate and international competitors, now below average wrestlers have them. I'm not against tattoos or cauliflower ears. I have one of each. That being said, I'm not overly impressed with the kid who spent $450 on a bad-ass tribal tattoo that covers his entire shoulder and half of his upper arm when he loses first round of a high school wrestling tournament. Worst yet, when he goes 0-2. The kid definitely isn't as tough as he thought he was when he got inked. Once I believed the dude with the barbed wire tattoo around his biceps was tough. Not any more. To be "tough" that better be real barbed wire wrapped tightly around your arm.
Every wrestling coach on the planet understands that at high school events, only two coaches are permitted to be in the corner of each wrestler. It's so obvious, in fact, that the tournament directors often have TWO chairs in opposite corners, color coordinated to make it easy on coaches and they make announcements regularly throughout the day. They don't have to think where to go or how many coaches are allowed. Just look at the chairs and sit down. Well, if you've ever been to a wrestling tournament, you would see that coaches just can't get this one right. Two in a corner in this part of the state means 2 + at least 1. If you have a stat girl, she gets a spot on the floor. Video? Yep, right next to the coach. Over-zealous parent with a camera? Sure, give the coach 4-5 feet and put them on the floor, too. Of course, the recent graduate who is unemployed and lives at home because he's no longer in college should stand with his shirt untucked directly behind the assistant coach. Oh yeah, the cute 5th grade aspiring wrestler should sit in the corner, too. There are no less than 5-6 people in the corner for most matches. You're an anomaly if you follow this clear and concise rule. I wonder why athletes feel so entitled today. You don't suppose it's because coaches might be leading by example, do you?
Some of the things that people say from the stands are quite amusing. I'm not going to throw them under the bus, though, because they're fans. They don't have to know what they're saying. They're just passionate, which is awesome. It's not awesome, however, when the coach doesn't know what he's talking about. There seems to be a few general cliche statements that have little to no meaning, but for some reason, most coaches use them. "How bad do you want it?" Is that question supposed to be answered or is it rhetorical? It serves no purpose with 30 seconds left to wrestle. "Hips! Hips! Hips!" "Belly! Belly! Belly!" "Go!" "Come On!" Or to the official: "Stalling" "Really?!?!" "Stalling" "Ah, Come On!" "Stalling!" "He's backing up!" "He's stalling!!!!" These words account for nearly 50% of the vocabulary used by wrestling coaches. None of it has an impact that leads to anything positive. It becomes noise to competitors and officials. It's unfortunate because when the coach does have something beneficial or useful to say, their voice is already categorized as noise and is blocked out so it goes unnoticed.
There are several other things that caught my attention, but I'll reserve them for another day.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Monday, December 24, 2012
The End of the World: I Was There
If you're reading this post, you survived the end of the world that was scheduled to take place last Friday. I don't think many of us actually believed the world would cease to exist on December 21, 2012. However, if you're like me, you secretly wondered "what if it's true?"
As the day approached, I guess I looked at things differently and appreciated the little things a bit more. Coupled with a recent tragic event that shook the US and the upcoming Christmas season, last week was full of reminders to hug your loved ones a few extra times, take advantage of the opportunities that are in front of you and seize the day (carpe diem).
One of my mentors once told me a story about one of his friends who died and how the brother of his friend read a quote that was hand written in the back of his Bible. It said, "when it's your time to die, it better be the only thing you have left to do." When he said those words, they pierced my soul. They were simple, yet extremely profound and, dare I say, haunting. I immediately grabbed my Bible and wrote the same words inside the back cover. If I have anything to do with it, I don't want to leave anything on the table when it's my time.
Do you have things you're putting off for another day that should get done today? Do you wait for a tragedy or an end times prophesy to hug your loved ones a little more than normal? Step into the moment and take advantage of the opportunities that are before you.
As we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ this week, I'm encouraged to know that God took advantage of the opportunity to send his son into the world at an exact and perfect time. Galatians 4:4 says, "But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law." God seized the moment and it changed the course of history forever. Let's all do the same.
As the day approached, I guess I looked at things differently and appreciated the little things a bit more. Coupled with a recent tragic event that shook the US and the upcoming Christmas season, last week was full of reminders to hug your loved ones a few extra times, take advantage of the opportunities that are in front of you and seize the day (carpe diem).
One of my mentors once told me a story about one of his friends who died and how the brother of his friend read a quote that was hand written in the back of his Bible. It said, "when it's your time to die, it better be the only thing you have left to do." When he said those words, they pierced my soul. They were simple, yet extremely profound and, dare I say, haunting. I immediately grabbed my Bible and wrote the same words inside the back cover. If I have anything to do with it, I don't want to leave anything on the table when it's my time.
Do you have things you're putting off for another day that should get done today? Do you wait for a tragedy or an end times prophesy to hug your loved ones a little more than normal? Step into the moment and take advantage of the opportunities that are before you.
As we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ this week, I'm encouraged to know that God took advantage of the opportunity to send his son into the world at an exact and perfect time. Galatians 4:4 says, "But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law." God seized the moment and it changed the course of history forever. Let's all do the same.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Living in a mom's world
I'm sure everyone who reads this blog is familiar with the character of Batman. Bruce Wayne acts as an American billionaire playboy, industrialist, and philanthropist by day and caped crusader by night sweeping through Gotham City ridding it of bad guys. I suppose my life is similar in that I play two characters simultaneously. Mr. Mom cooking, cleaning and washing clothes by day and a whistle wielding wrestling coach by night.
We decided to organize our lives in such a way that we wouldn't need to utilize child care. Our system works well for us because Liz works days and I work nights. As a result, I find myself doing many of the things that traditional stay-at-home mothers do during the day. I make breakfast, start the dishwasher, load the washing machine, drive to preschool, switch the laundry, drive to the library, grocery store and, of course, Target. Then I make it home in time to make lunch before unloading the dishwasher and putting the boys down for naps. In the midst of raising two joyful little boys, I've managed to conduct a variety of covert amateur anthropological studies focused primarily on the organization of human social and cultural relations and human behavior (for more context, read Opening scene: an indoor playground). I see many of the same people day-to-day, and as you might guess, not many of them are of the male gender. I'm the only person with facial hair at story time at the library (and the grandmother who brings her two grandchildren doesn't count).
I'm surrounded by mothers and their children everywhere I go during the daylight hours and I've classified the stay-at-home moms into three distinct categories. I've made significant stereotype claims and none of them are intended to be derogatory. In fact, I have the utmost respect for these powerful women that I cross paths with on a daily basis. So, in tongue-and-cheek fashion, here are the categories:
OVERTLY CHRISTIAN MOM
She wears her faith on her sleeve. She's not ashamed of the cross or her godly responsibility to be at home with her kids. And she's not offended by the title, either. In fact, she's probably glad we know she's rock solid in her faith and would be honored to pray for you. This mom offers great perspective during difficult times and is the mom of all moms. She's involved in MOPS and organizes play dates at the park. Most of her kids are still pre-Kindergarten, however, she has her ducks in a row and is ready to begin the homeschool process. She hasn't owned a television since she got married (much to the dismay of her husband), so she read On Becoming Babywise, What to Expect When You're Expecting, Parenting by the Book and several other parenting books. She's quick to take advantage of free opportunities at the public library because she has her family on a budget after completing Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. She's very exclusive and works hard to surround herself with other Overtly Christian Moms.
HIPPIE MOM
This mom is similar to the mom above except she doesn't base her decision to stay at home on pressure from anyone other than herself. She hasn't been called by God and feels no guilt from the church (she might not even believe in God). Staying home is just the most natural thing for her to do. Actually, most of her life is based on what is natural - her clothes (and sometimes hygiene, sorry), her child rearing or disciplinary actions, etc. Her kids can become a distraction to others and she doesn't think it's a big deal. She's very "chill" and never overreacts. She doesn't have cable television because she's never been interested in the programming on anything other that public television. The look of this mom is very distinctive and her circle is unintentionally quite exclusive.
TWEENER MOM
She lands smack dab in the middle of the Overtly Christian Mom and Hippie Mom. She wants to be home because she thinks it's right for her children. She might have a spiritual background that guides her desire towards being at home and it just feels right for her. She just wants to spend the formative years with her kids. She's naturally extraverted and mingles with every group so she has friends from every category. In fact, when she has a few moms over for dinner, it's the only time some of her Overtly Christian Mom and Hippie Mom friends interact with one another. She has DirecTV because her husband insists they need it for sports. She quietly wishes they didn't have a television like her other mom friends, but she's thankful for the option to plop the kiddos down in front of an episode of Thomas while she makes dinner (she would never admit this to the others). She shares songs like "Summergirls" by LFO on Spotify and has a Cascada station on Pandora because it reminds her of her college years. Now, she spends her free time Pinning cutesy crafts, gingerbread houses and stocking stuffers or watching old episodes of Grey's on Hulu.
Thank God for moms!
We decided to organize our lives in such a way that we wouldn't need to utilize child care. Our system works well for us because Liz works days and I work nights. As a result, I find myself doing many of the things that traditional stay-at-home mothers do during the day. I make breakfast, start the dishwasher, load the washing machine, drive to preschool, switch the laundry, drive to the library, grocery store and, of course, Target. Then I make it home in time to make lunch before unloading the dishwasher and putting the boys down for naps. In the midst of raising two joyful little boys, I've managed to conduct a variety of covert amateur anthropological studies focused primarily on the organization of human social and cultural relations and human behavior (for more context, read Opening scene: an indoor playground). I see many of the same people day-to-day, and as you might guess, not many of them are of the male gender. I'm the only person with facial hair at story time at the library (and the grandmother who brings her two grandchildren doesn't count).
I'm surrounded by mothers and their children everywhere I go during the daylight hours and I've classified the stay-at-home moms into three distinct categories. I've made significant stereotype claims and none of them are intended to be derogatory. In fact, I have the utmost respect for these powerful women that I cross paths with on a daily basis. So, in tongue-and-cheek fashion, here are the categories:
OVERTLY CHRISTIAN MOM
She wears her faith on her sleeve. She's not ashamed of the cross or her godly responsibility to be at home with her kids. And she's not offended by the title, either. In fact, she's probably glad we know she's rock solid in her faith and would be honored to pray for you. This mom offers great perspective during difficult times and is the mom of all moms. She's involved in MOPS and organizes play dates at the park. Most of her kids are still pre-Kindergarten, however, she has her ducks in a row and is ready to begin the homeschool process. She hasn't owned a television since she got married (much to the dismay of her husband), so she read On Becoming Babywise, What to Expect When You're Expecting, Parenting by the Book and several other parenting books. She's quick to take advantage of free opportunities at the public library because she has her family on a budget after completing Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. She's very exclusive and works hard to surround herself with other Overtly Christian Moms.
Overtly Christian Mom: The Stats
Kids names: Biblical names like Jacob, Isaac, Grace, Hope (or Isaiah and Micaiah...)
Vehicle: 2007 Chrysler Town & Country
Workout: A long summer walk pushing the stroller
Breastfeeding in public?: With a paisley "hooter hider," of course
Diaper bag: 16 pockets, fully-equipped with various wipes, powders and ointments
Diapers: Tried cloth, but it was way too hard, settles for bulk deals at diapers.com
Grocery Store: Aldi
Garden: yes
Organic: When it's cost effective, absolutely
Wardrobe: maternity clothes (even when she's not pregnant)
Phone: LG flip phone
Social media: Facebook
HIPPIE MOM
This mom is similar to the mom above except she doesn't base her decision to stay at home on pressure from anyone other than herself. She hasn't been called by God and feels no guilt from the church (she might not even believe in God). Staying home is just the most natural thing for her to do. Actually, most of her life is based on what is natural - her clothes (and sometimes hygiene, sorry), her child rearing or disciplinary actions, etc. Her kids can become a distraction to others and she doesn't think it's a big deal. She's very "chill" and never overreacts. She doesn't have cable television because she's never been interested in the programming on anything other that public television. The look of this mom is very distinctive and her circle is unintentionally quite exclusive.
Hippie Mom: The Stats
Kids names: Theo, George, Harmony, Mabel
Vehicle: 1988 Toyota Land Cruiser (on occasion, a used Prius)
Workout: A challenging hike with a homemade wrap baby carrier
Breastfeeding in public?: Go for it, au naturale
Diaper bag: Reusable eco-friendly bag from Trader Joe's
Diapers: Cloth
Grocery Store: local co-op
Garden: Yes
Organic: Definitely (and vegan)
Wardrobe: Wool, earth tones and Keen's or Choco's
Phone: iPhone 4
Social media: e-mail
TWEENER MOM
She lands smack dab in the middle of the Overtly Christian Mom and Hippie Mom. She wants to be home because she thinks it's right for her children. She might have a spiritual background that guides her desire towards being at home and it just feels right for her. She just wants to spend the formative years with her kids. She's naturally extraverted and mingles with every group so she has friends from every category. In fact, when she has a few moms over for dinner, it's the only time some of her Overtly Christian Mom and Hippie Mom friends interact with one another. She has DirecTV because her husband insists they need it for sports. She quietly wishes they didn't have a television like her other mom friends, but she's thankful for the option to plop the kiddos down in front of an episode of Thomas while she makes dinner (she would never admit this to the others). She shares songs like "Summergirls" by LFO on Spotify and has a Cascada station on Pandora because it reminds her of her college years. Now, she spends her free time Pinning cutesy crafts, gingerbread houses and stocking stuffers or watching old episodes of Grey's on Hulu.
Tweener Mom: The Stats
Kids names: Bella, Ella, Brayden, Aiden, Caden, Madison, Addison
Vehicle: 2010 Honda Pilot
Workout routine: Zumba (with child care)
Breastfeeding in public?: not comfortable/too modest
Diaper bag: A chic Vera Bradley or modern Columbia that doubles as a messenger bag
Diapers: Target brand
Grocery Store: Target or Trader Joe's
Garden: In her dreams
Organic: If it's convenient, sure, why not?
Wardrobe: Joe's Jeans, Tom's, layers and, of course, a scarf
Phone: Galaxy S III
Social media: Pinterest
Thank God for moms!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
The Ten Habits of Highly Effective Coaches
One of the most successful business self-help books in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. I recommend it as a "must read" by anyone interested in reaching his/her full human potential. The book presents an approach to being effective in reaching goals by following "true north." He divides the habits into three categories: independence or self-mastery (habits 1-3), interdependence (habits 4-6) and renewal (habit 7).
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
1. Be Proactive
2. Begin with the End in Mind
3. Put First Things First
4. Think Win-Win
5. Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the Saw
These habits are universal principles that lead individuals to being effective, no matter the endeavor - including being a coach. The idea of the habits of highly effective people has been applied to almost every industry in America. Wayne Goldsmith gives expert advice for sports coaching success and shared his perspective with The Ten Habits of High Effective Coaches.
The Ten Habits of Highly Effective Coaches
1. Make training more challenging and more demanding than the competition your athletes are targeting
2. Learn and develop as a coach at a faster rate than your athletes
3. Accelerate your rate of learning faster than your opposition
4. Enhance your creative thinking skills
5. Coach individuals - even in team sports
6. Ensure that every athlete that you work with out prepares (in every aspect) their opposition
7. Adapt your training plans and programs to optimize their impact on each individual athlete at every training session
8. Performance practice - not practice makes perfect
9. Adopt an integrated, multi-disciplinary approach to talent development and performance enhancement
10. Lead
I will be taking the next few weeks to dig deeper on the habits of highly effective coaches by putting a wrestling spin on each one.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
1. Be Proactive
2. Begin with the End in Mind
3. Put First Things First
4. Think Win-Win
5. Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the Saw
These habits are universal principles that lead individuals to being effective, no matter the endeavor - including being a coach. The idea of the habits of highly effective people has been applied to almost every industry in America. Wayne Goldsmith gives expert advice for sports coaching success and shared his perspective with The Ten Habits of High Effective Coaches.
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle
The Ten Habits of Highly Effective Coaches
1. Make training more challenging and more demanding than the competition your athletes are targeting
2. Learn and develop as a coach at a faster rate than your athletes
3. Accelerate your rate of learning faster than your opposition
4. Enhance your creative thinking skills
5. Coach individuals - even in team sports
6. Ensure that every athlete that you work with out prepares (in every aspect) their opposition
7. Adapt your training plans and programs to optimize their impact on each individual athlete at every training session
8. Performance practice - not practice makes perfect
9. Adopt an integrated, multi-disciplinary approach to talent development and performance enhancement
10. Lead
I will be taking the next few weeks to dig deeper on the habits of highly effective coaches by putting a wrestling spin on each one.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Thinking outside the box as a coach
This week marks the beginning of the high school wrestling season in Wisconsin. I was fortunate to take part in the starting process for a few schools this year. I saw some new, innovative ideas as well as many mediocre and stagnant approaches that are prevalent in our sport.
The best programs and best coaches are creative. They communicate well and have passion and commitment, however, they have the secret ingredient that's also available to everyone else: the desire to think outside the box.
Coaches and leaders discuss ideas to spur "outside the box" thinking. They're often interested in trying something new. They claim to be looking for real innovation, genuine creativity and ideas to give them an advantage over their competition or build a program with the numbers to compete with basketball, hockey and other opportunities offered in their community. However, most aren't really looking for something "outside the box." What they're really looking for is a way to continue selling the same thing in a different way. For something that makes their current "box" a little bigger so it can hold more of the same stuff. Or they want short term, quick fix solutions using the "box" analogy. They want some nice wrapping paper and a pretty ribbon to make the old "box" look new. Thinking outside the box often requires something entirely different than what we're used to.
Sport is inherently conservative and therefore it doesn't progress as quickly as it could. Many educated and capable leaders choose the status quo because it's comfortable and predictable. They opt to do things the way they've always been done. Many times, in spite of the best solution being obvious and readily available, we don't take it, preferring instead to adopt the solution that ruffles the least amount of feathers or causes the fewest waves.
Success in sports is about daring to be different, taking intelligent risks and taking the lead in introducing real breakthroughs by being unique, more innovative and creative than your competition. Coaches who chose comfortable complacency over celebrating creativity are hard pressed in the growth process. Doing what everyone else is doing is boring and results in mediocrity.
So, how do we think outside the box?
1. Look at other sports.
In most sports, coaches are stuck in their ways. If they consider a different approach, it's probably from another coach within their sport. Thanks to the Internet, anyone can find anything at any time for free, so the chances of finding a winning edge or breakthrough by looking within your sport is very low. Look at other sports, other coaches and other athletes outside your sport for athletic principles that can be applied to all areas of life and sport. Every above average wrestling coach watches the Technique Wave on FloWrestling. How many are picking the cross country coach's brain to understand periodized training at a higher level?
2. Look beyond sports.
Sports are a very small part of society. There are many other professionals who perform with precision in high pressured situations on a daily basis. There are great teachers who have mastered scenario based learning and differentiated educational plans in order to maximize the learning potential of every student. Anyone who is successful in an endeavor possess desire and drive similar to that of a successful athlete. They can all help take your coaching abilities to a new level. Take 20 minutes to view one of many TED Talks and you'll quickly understand that if you're only looking to sports to help you become a better coach, you've only just scratched the surface.
3. Look inside.
As human beings, we have an unlimited capacity to love and imagine. We're only limited by our willingness. Creativity is taking your imagination and dreams and turning them into actions and behaviors. Ignoring that "little voice" with all of the ideas and crazy thoughts is limiting your potential and keeping you from being the man or woman you were created to be. Who we are is on the inside, so let your light shine. Successful coaches use their strengths and ideas effectively. They don't try to be the person their coach or mentor was.
This is what it looks like to think outside the box:
The best programs and best coaches are creative. They communicate well and have passion and commitment, however, they have the secret ingredient that's also available to everyone else: the desire to think outside the box.
Coaches and leaders discuss ideas to spur "outside the box" thinking. They're often interested in trying something new. They claim to be looking for real innovation, genuine creativity and ideas to give them an advantage over their competition or build a program with the numbers to compete with basketball, hockey and other opportunities offered in their community. However, most aren't really looking for something "outside the box." What they're really looking for is a way to continue selling the same thing in a different way. For something that makes their current "box" a little bigger so it can hold more of the same stuff. Or they want short term, quick fix solutions using the "box" analogy. They want some nice wrapping paper and a pretty ribbon to make the old "box" look new. Thinking outside the box often requires something entirely different than what we're used to.
Sport is inherently conservative and therefore it doesn't progress as quickly as it could. Many educated and capable leaders choose the status quo because it's comfortable and predictable. They opt to do things the way they've always been done. Many times, in spite of the best solution being obvious and readily available, we don't take it, preferring instead to adopt the solution that ruffles the least amount of feathers or causes the fewest waves.
Success in sports is about daring to be different, taking intelligent risks and taking the lead in introducing real breakthroughs by being unique, more innovative and creative than your competition. Coaches who chose comfortable complacency over celebrating creativity are hard pressed in the growth process. Doing what everyone else is doing is boring and results in mediocrity.
So, how do we think outside the box?
1. Look at other sports.
In most sports, coaches are stuck in their ways. If they consider a different approach, it's probably from another coach within their sport. Thanks to the Internet, anyone can find anything at any time for free, so the chances of finding a winning edge or breakthrough by looking within your sport is very low. Look at other sports, other coaches and other athletes outside your sport for athletic principles that can be applied to all areas of life and sport. Every above average wrestling coach watches the Technique Wave on FloWrestling. How many are picking the cross country coach's brain to understand periodized training at a higher level?
2. Look beyond sports.
Sports are a very small part of society. There are many other professionals who perform with precision in high pressured situations on a daily basis. There are great teachers who have mastered scenario based learning and differentiated educational plans in order to maximize the learning potential of every student. Anyone who is successful in an endeavor possess desire and drive similar to that of a successful athlete. They can all help take your coaching abilities to a new level. Take 20 minutes to view one of many TED Talks and you'll quickly understand that if you're only looking to sports to help you become a better coach, you've only just scratched the surface.
3. Look inside.
As human beings, we have an unlimited capacity to love and imagine. We're only limited by our willingness. Creativity is taking your imagination and dreams and turning them into actions and behaviors. Ignoring that "little voice" with all of the ideas and crazy thoughts is limiting your potential and keeping you from being the man or woman you were created to be. Who we are is on the inside, so let your light shine. Successful coaches use their strengths and ideas effectively. They don't try to be the person their coach or mentor was.
This is what it looks like to think outside the box:
Nissan - Wouldn't It Be Cool - Sentra 2013 from danDifelice on Vimeo.
The End of an American Icon: Hostess Brands
In 1930, the first Twinkie rolled out of the oven. The "Golden Sponge Cake with Creamy Filling" made it's mark on American snack food history, but it's legacy is coming to an abrupt end today.
Hostess Brands announced that it is ceasing plant operations and laying off most of its 18,500 employees. It stated that it intended to sell off all of its assets, including Twinkies, and liquidate. This is a sad day for America.
Twinkies popularity soared in the 1950's because it sponsored the 'Howdy Doody Show.' It was also relevant in popular culture in the '60s. Archie Bunker from 'All In the Family' got a Twinkie in his lunch everyday. The Twinkie remained a part of television throughout each decade (remember Ghostbusters in the '80s?). Apu from 'The Simpsons' even stated, "You cannot hurt the Twinkie." Well, despite Bill Clinton insisting that it should be in the millenium time capsule alongside a piece of the Berlin Wall, the Twinkie is more than hurt. It's dead. Clinton said that it is an "object of enduring American symbolism." Ironically, it seems the conclusion of this confectionary creation of Hostess symbolizes America and its politics of today quite well.
It took more than 40,000 miles of plastic wrap to wrap a year's production of Twinkies. I always appreciated the little residue of gooey cake that stuck to that clear plastic wrapper. It was my favorite part.
Twinkies have a shelf-life of twenty-five days. The recipe for the Twinkie contains no dairy products, which prolongs its freshness. The rumors of Twinkies lasting forever aren't true. My boys had their first Twinkie today, so even if I were to stock pile, it will likely be their last.
Hostess Brands announced that it is ceasing plant operations and laying off most of its 18,500 employees. It stated that it intended to sell off all of its assets, including Twinkies, and liquidate. This is a sad day for America.
Twinkies popularity soared in the 1950's because it sponsored the 'Howdy Doody Show.' It was also relevant in popular culture in the '60s. Archie Bunker from 'All In the Family' got a Twinkie in his lunch everyday. The Twinkie remained a part of television throughout each decade (remember Ghostbusters in the '80s?). Apu from 'The Simpsons' even stated, "You cannot hurt the Twinkie." Well, despite Bill Clinton insisting that it should be in the millenium time capsule alongside a piece of the Berlin Wall, the Twinkie is more than hurt. It's dead. Clinton said that it is an "object of enduring American symbolism." Ironically, it seems the conclusion of this confectionary creation of Hostess symbolizes America and its politics of today quite well.
It took more than 40,000 miles of plastic wrap to wrap a year's production of Twinkies. I always appreciated the little residue of gooey cake that stuck to that clear plastic wrapper. It was my favorite part.
Twinkies have a shelf-life of twenty-five days. The recipe for the Twinkie contains no dairy products, which prolongs its freshness. The rumors of Twinkies lasting forever aren't true. My boys had their first Twinkie today, so even if I were to stock pile, it will likely be their last.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Opening scene: an indoor playground
The Giggle Factory. An indoor playground full of runny noses and estrogen is where I chose to take the boys this morning. We go there occasionally so they can go down the slides, but they seem to be interested only in the snacks.
We were the first ones there this morning and enjoyed almost ten minutes of the entire place to ourselves. It was exciting to see Isaiah taking risks and Micaiah thoroughly enjoying himself. Then the flood gates opened.
As a preferred location for "play dates," when a mother of four rolls in, she's usually there to meet a few girlfriends who bring their children, too. Pandemonium ensues. Within 20 minutes, the Giggle Factory is home to over 30 kids and 16 parents (only 2 dads). Moms are frantically chasing their kids around the facility attempting to micromanage their activity and apply hand sanitizer to every square inch of exposed skin. One conversation near the padded stairs turns into tears because Mom is no less than smothering her rambunctious bambino. All at once, it seems, each mom throws up her hands and collectively decides to let kids be kids. A few moms head for the espresso bar for snacks and refreshments. My kids had been munching on Goldfish crackers back there since the others arrived, mind you. The women frantically dig in their diaper bags for spare change amidst the baby wipes and pre-packed snacks so they can buy something to take the edge off. They choose cappuccino, because vodka-tonic or margaritas aren't on the menu.
Kids being kids is a joyous sight. Genuine jubilation for life is difficult to ignore. I watch my boys climb, slide, jump and laugh without a care in the world. This is the life.
Then, in comes that mom. Judgmental stares emerge above the cardboard cappuccino mugs. Stares followed by more stares. You know who she is. The mom who lost all her additional "baby weight" during labor and probably wore 3-inch heels and skinny jeans home from the hospital. She's wearing slouch cuffed knee high boots and low rise silhouette True Religions that appear to be painted on. Where did she even fit a baby? Of course, she's accompanied by a crew of spiky haired little boys who double as a Gap models. They look more like accessories than her children. The mom who was wincing earlier from hitting her head on a pole in an area that was way too small for her makes a few snarky comments under breath, rolls her eyes and looks to the espresso bar to re-confirm that they don't have a top shelf of special drinks for the moms that aren't pregnant or nursing.
The other dad is lost on a smart phone, likely in a world of Fantasy Football updating his roster and my boys are already asking for round two of snacks when a "child care collaborative" group in matching yellow shirts arrives. The Giggle Factory has officially turned into a zoo. Almost 40 kids have morphed into animals. Isaiah observes the raucous, munching on Goldfish. How do I explain to him that this is actually normal behavior...for chimpanzees?
Three little boys gang up on a smaller boy and engage in a beating that looks like something from Robert DeNiro's A Bronx Tale. I almost step in to break it up. No one disciplines the three bullies, so I begin to plan my exit strategy in case these little guys start something with my kids. I think: if they so much as look at my kids, I might do something that I regret. I digress.
Seriously? Seriously. The dad who I thought was updating his roster in time for tonight's game on the NFL Network was actually summoning the troops for a birthday party. Enter more 3 year olds. I thought he was responsibly just letting his kids be crazy like dads do in these settings. I thought we were on the same page. So much for Band of Brothers. He wrote the names of the party goers on clear plastic cups. Head injury mom eyes the cups and reminisces about a time in her early 20's when she would use them for something else. That was long ago.
Another fight breaks out at the bottom of the red slide between two boys who tried to occupy the same space between the slide and the wall. There was scratching and clawing and then screaming and some laughing. A Bronx Tale is soon to become an indoor version of Westside Story on this playground. Sharks vs. Jets (I wonder what side Isaiah and Micaiah are on). Much to the chagrin of everyone over 6 years old, the instigator belonged to Knee High Boots. She was definitely out of her element and suddenly Head Injury felt like she was back in hers.
Isaiah patiently walks in my direction, "Daddy, can I have another snack."
In the back corner I hear rustling. Trying to make out what the little rug rats are saying, I imagine it sounding something like [queue music] "When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way. From you first cigarette till you last dyin' day."
"No, Buddy. I think it's time to go."
We were the first ones there this morning and enjoyed almost ten minutes of the entire place to ourselves. It was exciting to see Isaiah taking risks and Micaiah thoroughly enjoying himself. Then the flood gates opened.
As a preferred location for "play dates," when a mother of four rolls in, she's usually there to meet a few girlfriends who bring their children, too. Pandemonium ensues. Within 20 minutes, the Giggle Factory is home to over 30 kids and 16 parents (only 2 dads). Moms are frantically chasing their kids around the facility attempting to micromanage their activity and apply hand sanitizer to every square inch of exposed skin. One conversation near the padded stairs turns into tears because Mom is no less than smothering her rambunctious bambino. All at once, it seems, each mom throws up her hands and collectively decides to let kids be kids. A few moms head for the espresso bar for snacks and refreshments. My kids had been munching on Goldfish crackers back there since the others arrived, mind you. The women frantically dig in their diaper bags for spare change amidst the baby wipes and pre-packed snacks so they can buy something to take the edge off. They choose cappuccino, because vodka-tonic or margaritas aren't on the menu.
Kids being kids is a joyous sight. Genuine jubilation for life is difficult to ignore. I watch my boys climb, slide, jump and laugh without a care in the world. This is the life.
Then, in comes that mom. Judgmental stares emerge above the cardboard cappuccino mugs. Stares followed by more stares. You know who she is. The mom who lost all her additional "baby weight" during labor and probably wore 3-inch heels and skinny jeans home from the hospital. She's wearing slouch cuffed knee high boots and low rise silhouette True Religions that appear to be painted on. Where did she even fit a baby? Of course, she's accompanied by a crew of spiky haired little boys who double as a Gap models. They look more like accessories than her children. The mom who was wincing earlier from hitting her head on a pole in an area that was way too small for her makes a few snarky comments under breath, rolls her eyes and looks to the espresso bar to re-confirm that they don't have a top shelf of special drinks for the moms that aren't pregnant or nursing.
The other dad is lost on a smart phone, likely in a world of Fantasy Football updating his roster and my boys are already asking for round two of snacks when a "child care collaborative" group in matching yellow shirts arrives. The Giggle Factory has officially turned into a zoo. Almost 40 kids have morphed into animals. Isaiah observes the raucous, munching on Goldfish. How do I explain to him that this is actually normal behavior...for chimpanzees?
Three little boys gang up on a smaller boy and engage in a beating that looks like something from Robert DeNiro's A Bronx Tale. I almost step in to break it up. No one disciplines the three bullies, so I begin to plan my exit strategy in case these little guys start something with my kids. I think: if they so much as look at my kids, I might do something that I regret. I digress.
Seriously? Seriously. The dad who I thought was updating his roster in time for tonight's game on the NFL Network was actually summoning the troops for a birthday party. Enter more 3 year olds. I thought he was responsibly just letting his kids be crazy like dads do in these settings. I thought we were on the same page. So much for Band of Brothers. He wrote the names of the party goers on clear plastic cups. Head injury mom eyes the cups and reminisces about a time in her early 20's when she would use them for something else. That was long ago.
Another fight breaks out at the bottom of the red slide between two boys who tried to occupy the same space between the slide and the wall. There was scratching and clawing and then screaming and some laughing. A Bronx Tale is soon to become an indoor version of Westside Story on this playground. Sharks vs. Jets (I wonder what side Isaiah and Micaiah are on). Much to the chagrin of everyone over 6 years old, the instigator belonged to Knee High Boots. She was definitely out of her element and suddenly Head Injury felt like she was back in hers.
Isaiah patiently walks in my direction, "Daddy, can I have another snack."
In the back corner I hear rustling. Trying to make out what the little rug rats are saying, I imagine it sounding something like [queue music] "When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way. From you first cigarette till you last dyin' day."
"No, Buddy. I think it's time to go."
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