The soldier who salutes the flag

An important tradition in my family is attending the Memorial Day service at the Greenwood Cemetery in River Falls. For as long as I can remember, I've sat in the same place under the same tall oak tree with my parents, grand parents and siblings. I might be mistaken, but I think this might actually be the 32nd consecutive year of my attendance. It was Isaiah's 4th.

Memorial Day is important to us because many of our relatives have served in the military. Both of my grandfathers were World War II veterans. Both have passed away and left a legacy of love for our country. Aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. have also faithfully served our country.

This American holiday has become many things. It marks the beginning of summer with a long weekend, picnics, great sales and other Memorial Day specials. Unfortunately, many of these annual celebrations have very little to do with what the holiday was intended to be.

After the American Civil War, Decoration Day was created to officially recognize the Union soldiers that fell during the Civil War. The term decoration day comes from the act of decorating graves with flowers, something my Grandma Audrey Black continues to do on this special day (and others). By the 20th century, this day had been used to honor all Americans who have died in all wars. It became a common celebration after World War II and the name was officially changed to "Memorial Day" in 1967. In 1968, Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, which moved four holidays, including Memorial Day, from their traditional dates to a specified Monday in order to create a convenient three-day weekend. The change moved Memorial Day from it's traditional May 30 date to the last Monday in May.

Aside from a powerful keynote speaker, the moment that caught my eye during today's ceremony was during the Croix Chordsmen choir compilation of hymns representing each branch of the military. Servicemen from each branch appropriately stood at attention when their song was played. About ten chairs occupied by veterans sat alone beneath the American flag in front of the stage. When "The Army Goes Rolling Along" was sung, all of them quickly rose to their feet, stood proudly with their chest puffed out, head held high and saluted the flag. All, except for one gentleman. This old man labored hard to rise to his feet and suddenly fell back into his chair. He did the best he could to scoot his 90+ year old body to the front of the chair and grab a hold of the one next to him. He put all of his effort into raising to his feet, as if his life depended on it. I could sense him rushing to do so while his song played. He made it to his feet for a moment before all of the men became seated in unison.

It was subtle, and I might be one of the only people who noticed, however, I saw a man who had put his life on the line for my freedom when he was young and able bodied maintain the same commitment to the United States of America despite being only a remnant of the man that he once was. I was humbled and moved because in that moment, it was clear to me that he would do it all again. That's what Memorial Day is about.

We've lost our way as a nation many times, however, those who protect our freedoms have not.

It is the Soldier, not the minister, who has given us freedom of religion.
It is The Soldier, not the reporter,who has given us freedom of the press.
It is The Soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech.
It is The Soldier, not the campus organizer, who has given us freedom to demonstrate.
It is The Soldier, not the lawyer, who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the Soldier, not the politician, who has given us the right to vote.
It is The Soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag and whose coffin is draped by the flag who allows the protester to burn the flag.

The Soldier by Charles M. Province

Reflecting

It's been far too long since I've logged onto this blog page and threw down my ideas. I've missed it. Writing has always been an outlet for me. I have a lot of things going on inside of my head and getting them out helps me keep my thoughts organized and reflect.

Yesterday I gave a presentation at River Falls Meyer Middle School. It was a part of the Everest Project, a character development program and lesson on setting goals. My presentation was called "The Preamble to Greatness." Humility turned into honor, unleashing our potential and staying on the right "path" is the summary of the 70 minute conversation. From my perspective, it was quite successful.

I went through my Power Point three times, once with each grade (6th, 7th and 8th) and allowed for questions at the end. A 7th grade Language Arts teacher asked me to talk about "reflecting." I told her that I'm constantly reflecting, analyzing and evaluating everything I do. Actually, as I reflect, I often notice that I over-analyze things or evaluate myself and what I'm doing too much and miss the opportunity to live in the moment or appreciate what has unfolded.

She brought up reflecting in front of her students because she was having difficulty getting some of the boys to take part in the activity when she allowed time in class and encouraged them to do so. As a male, I can identify. What we hear when someone asks us to sit down and reflect is that we have to share our feelings. Boys, especially teenagers, get a little squirmy when they have to tell others what is going on inside. Naturally, they can express themselves with various physical outlets, but frankly, they're scared to talk (or write) about their feelings. That's not a valid reason for them to excuse themselves from the reflective process.

The blogosphere has provided an outlet for many people and it's a fantastic option for boys who might be afraid to share their feelings. It's great because it leaves a mark and impacts others. What this 7th grade teacher inspired me to do is help the athletes at Victory begin to blog. I've been actively encouraging them journal for years (journaling is the masculine way to keep a diary). I've provided numerous materials that facilitate the reflective process. Sometimes, it's like pulling teeth, though.

Tomorrow I will begin a new project with our most committed athletes. I have no idea what to expect, but like most of my ideas, of course I'm optimistic about the potential. I know what being transparent, reflecting and sharing my thoughts has done for me as a man and I'm confident it will do the same for a handful of our athletes.

I'll keep you updated!

The clean-up phase

I'm in Colorado Springs at the US Olympic Training Center with a couple of my female athletes. We're in the final preparation stages leading into the US Olympic Team Trials. The Trials will take place in Iowa City, IA on April 21-22. All of the hard work is done and it's now time to get organized and take what we have into the most important event in the US since 2008.

This week is very light from a physical standpoint. The girls are tapering and honing their skills. It's too late to add anything and it's too close to push hard. This week is more of a "clean-up" phase. Essentially, the past 6-7 months of training have been a whirlwind and somewhat overwhelming, emotionally draining, mentally taxing and physically demanding. This week is about putting everything back together and in order.

I had a long conversation with one of my athletes two weeks ago and she expressed her frustrations with teammates, training, technique and almost everything associated with the sport. She felt like she was over-training and needed a break. I reassured her that all of this training is working out perfectly. I told her that the nature of her training and continued growth makes everything seem very "messy" right now. The analogy I used was that it's like her room is a mess, clothes are everywhere, she hasn't made her bed in months and now I'm coming with my vacuum cleaner and we're cleaning house: doing laundry, folding her clothes and putting them in the correct drawers (figuratively). We're going from disorder to order.

It's really not much different than a construction site. Before construction begins, the area is clean, orderly and functional. Once you "break ground," it gets a little messy. There is daily maintenance during a big job like sweeping and picking up tools, however, it's not until it's complete that you pull away the plastic and throw away the masking tape that was around the windows. The same is true now for those competing in the Trials. We have to get rid of the plastic, throw some things out and take inventory of all of our tools. We're taking a finished product to Iowa.

This is a big moment for these women. The next two weeks are extremely delicate and crucial. It's two weeks for the rest of their lives. They're feeling the weight of the pressure. If it's all done correctly, the pressure will help them rather than hinder them. Olympic Gold Medalist Scott Hamilton said, "Under pressure you can perform fifteen percent better or worse." To perform best, we need to maintain a healthy perspective and enjoy the process.

The probability of achieving the outcome you want increases when you let go of the need for it.

To be the best, you have to...

To be the best, you have to believe you're the best and do your best when it matters the most taking advantage of the opportunities before you. The opportunity of a lifetime must be seized in the lifetime of the opportunity. Mental fortitude and timing are essential.

"To be the best, you have to beat the best" is one of the most overused cliches in sports. I doubt those who become the best for any duration of time actually use this mantra. To be the best, you might never have to face the "best." The best focus on controlling what they can control. You cannot control who you compete against and you cannot control being labeled the obscure label of the best. You can control your attitude and effort, though. Externally focusing on the process and remaining positive rather than fixating on the outcome is the first step to unleashing your potential. Strive first to be your best and do your best.

It all sounds a little New Age, doesn't it? Like the person who says winning isn't important is probably the guy who is losing regularly, right? Make no mistake, winning is important and focusing on it helps fuel the desire to be the best. However, if the outcome supersedes the process, disappointment is almost sure to follow against the stiffest competition.

Every year I watch the final day of The Masters on television. Actually, I watch as much of the tournament as I can starting with the par-3 challenge on Wednesday. In recent years, the "best" golfer didn't win the tournament if world ranking and earnings are our measuring stick. Previous success is not much of an indicator, either. The winner is the individual who plays the best golf on Sunday when all the chips are on the table. The past 14 major championships have been won by 14 different golfers. 11 of the last 12 are first time major tournament winners. This year's Masters winner, Bubba Watson, played great on his way back to the clubhouse and stole a green jacket. When it came down to it, he had to beat Louie Oosthuizen - hardly the "best" golfer in the world - in a sudden death shoot out. Both are great talents, but not in the conversation of the best golfers on the planet, yet. Watson didn't have to beat the best, he had to play his best when it mattered most and believe he was capable of winning. It was a battle within himself - maintaining composure, focusing on the next shot and not allowing outside distractions to get the best of him. Sure, he finished ahead of the top golfers in the world, however, it wasn't about beating the best. It was all about him being his best.

Being the best and winning are not synonymous, so it's not about beating a specific opponent. You can be the best and not win or win and not be the best. Additionally, you can win without being your best and you can be your best and still not win. It's the nature of sports and one of the most important elements of it. It's why they play the games. if it was about beating the best, we wouldn't be captivated by people like Bubba Watson.

In the wrestling world, this cliche gets hammered because it's an individual sport. Henry Cejudo won an Olympic Gold Medal in 2008 and was not the best wrestler in his weight class. They don't give gold medals for the best, they award the individual who beats all of the opponents he faces. Cejudo won four matches and didn't have to beat Besik Kudokhov. Kudokhov is arguably the best pound-for-pound wrestler in the world today. He has been king of his weight class every single day since 2006 except for that one day Cejudo put everything together at the most optimal time. Cejudo has never defeated Kudokhov, yet he has a gold medal and Kudokhov doesn't. Kudokhov has five world gold medals, though. Truth be told, Cejudo was never close to beating Kudokhov. In Beijing in 2008, that wasn't the objective, though, was it? Cejudo controlled what was within his control. If he had to beat the best to be the best, there would have been another match following the championship finals. Beat the opponent in front of you and seize the opportunity when it's there.

On the flip side, I went to Russia in 2005 to seek out one competitor - Alan Dudaev. He was the reigning world champion at my weight class. I remembered the cliche to be the best you have to beat the best. In a friendly dual meet in Vladikavkaz, I beat Dudaev 0-3, 1-0, 1-1 in a match that was meaningless to him. I have a healthy perspective on that match today. Dudaev was fresh off a world gold medal and was in the middle of technical phase in his training schedule. He focused on one skill during our match (and scored 3 points on it in the first period). I caught on to his tactics and stayed away from it and he was unsuccessful the final two minutes. I scored in the clinch and on a push-out. That situation did not make me the best even though I "beat" the best (don't try to take that away from me...).

To be the best, you don't have to beat the best. You have to believe you're the best and take advantage of the opportunities that are in front of you while controlling only what you can control.

Who do you say Jesus is?

I had a quick thought in church today. People develop opinions of individuals based on what they hear from others or what someone looks like. It's common place to draw conclusions on the character of an individual based on how they dress. At our core, we know it's wrong and still find ourselves and others doing it. Our culture and society have basically discredited this kind of behavior, right? People are encouraged and taught to look inside each person and know them for who they are. Except when it comes to Jesus.

I know many people who have drawn their conclusions and opinions of Jesus based on what others say and think. In fact, it goes a step further with Jesus, and people somehow are given a pass to make-up whatever they'd like to about him. Their opinions of who Jesus is are all over the map and much of them created to fit one's way of life, thought process or desires. They're not based on who he actually is.

I naturally formulate opinions about every single person I meet - usually before I even hear them speak. I dislike this about myself. If you're anything like me, it happens regardless if we want it to or not. However, I actively strive to remain open minded and let the individual tell me who they are. You know, don't judge a book by its cover... Our culture might stereotype people, but it also puts pressure on us to get to know the individual. Except when it comes to Jesus.

I've met many people who are content and satisfied with the presumptions of Jesus. They develop an opinion and stubbornly stick to it and refuse to get to know him. In everyday life, is it alright for me assume I know everything about another person because someone else told me about him/her? Absolutely not! Then, why does our society permit - and even encourage - us to think whatever we'd like to about Jesus? It seems like a double standard.

Who YOU say Jesus is is the most important answer you'll ever have to give in this lifetime. In Mark 8:29: "'But what about you?' He asked. 'Who do you say I am?' Peter answered, 'You are the Christ.'" Jesus asked Peter who he thought he was. He didn't ask Peter who his parents thought he was. Or what his friends thought. Or what his teacher, professor and even pastor thought. Some of us are basing our faith on the faith (or no faith) of others. "Who you say I am?" He asked.

He asks everyone this most important question. Getting the answer correct on this one is too important to ignore or to take someones word for. Each of us must get to know Jesus for who he is if we're going to accurately formulate opinions about him. As humans, don't we owe that everyone? I think so. And even more when it comes to Jesus.

I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept his claim to be God." That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a good moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic-on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg-or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronising nonsense about His being a great moral teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to. - C.S. Lewis 'Mere Christianity'

The bright shiny light of the moon

Last night I saw Jupiter and Venus in the Western sky. They were each extraordinarily bright and close to one another. I love looking at the night sky because the vast universe becomes visible. Radiant stars that are millions of miles away can be seen by the naked eye. I like the reminder than I'm just a tiny, insignificant speck in God's creation. And He still knows my name. Humbling.

I was awe struck on Monday night, as well. I was in my car near Lake Superior and the moon seemed to be brighter than I had ever seen before. It was overcast and the clouds swirled around the bright shining moon and periodically it would break through the clouds and light up the night sky as if it was daylight. During those moments, I'm certain I could have driven without headlights. It was bright and the world's greatest optical illusion made the moon seem to be within driving distance. At approximately 250,000 miles away, it appeared closer than home.

I like to talk about the bright shiny light of the moon, except the moon actually doesn't give of any light of it's own at all. It's a giant rock. Instead, it reflects the light of the sun like a giant mirror. Without the sun, we'd never see the moon. Left to its own device, it would have a very small impact on our lives and we'd probably be unaware of its existence all together. It's the only natural satellite of the Earth and it's gravitational influence produces the ocean tides, however, that's hardly the stuff of ancient mythology, calendars, etc. The mystique of the moon comes from how bright it is in the night sky and the sole reason we're able to see it is because it reflects the sun's light.

I like how this idea of the moon can be applied directly to our lives. On our own, we're less than impressive. Sure, in our own little circle we might have clout, position or prestige, but in the grand scheme of things...we're about as bright and shiny as a rock. That is until we allow our lives to reflect the light of God. It is then that we actually make a difference and have an impact on humanity that can contribute to an eternity. When our lives become a reflection of God, people take notice. Others become fully aware of our existence. It doesn't happen because of who we are, though. I happens because of who God is and what He can do in us and through us. People might enjoy the extraordinary happenings in our lives and be impressed, but all credit is God's. He's the light and we're just a reflection.

Oh, and if you look to the Western sky tonight or tomorrow night, you'll see Jupiter and Venus reflecting the light of the Sun, too.

Let your light shine brightly because it's a reflection of who God is. God's character in our lives cannot be hidden.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." - Matthew 5:14-15

Be choosy about choosing

Last weekend I spent some time with my friend and colleague Shane Sparks. We rapped about how frustrated we get when wrestlers don't take advantage of the opportunity to make a choice. On our broadcast, we talked specifically about choosing to defer after the first period and choosing down because "that's just what you do." Together, we expressed our frustrations with this and are on a mission to get the word out. I suppose there are far more noble topics to bring to the masses, however, there is something profound here, too.

I travel around the state and talk to coaches about a variety of topics. Often times, I hear coaches explain how part of their purpose as a coach is to help athletes learn how to make decisions. It's a great outlook and I'm motivated to do the same. This is why I'm bothered so much by some of those same coaches missing on the potential teachable moments that come from choosing between periods.

In the sport of wrestling, between the first and second periods, one individual is given "choice." He can choose top, bottom, neutral (both on the feet) or defer the choice to his opponent and get choice in the third period. Between the second and third period, the other athlete has choice of top, bottom or neutral. You know the phrase, you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink, right? Well, if the horse is dying of thirst, it's nearly a guarantee that if you lead him to water, he will drink. It undermines the idea of it being a choice. Similarly, if you give an unsure-about-himself teenager the choice to let someone else choose for him, he likely will because he fears responsibility. So, he defers, naturally. Unfortunately, letting others make choices for you often comes with consequences - sometimes big, sometimes small. I'm all for deferring the choice to your opponent if it gives you a strategic advantage. I'm not in favor of deferring the choice by default, though. There isn't much in life that results in good after you defer (think: deferring on your taxes, etc.)

Empowering individuals to make wise choices has the potential to teach young men about responsibility and accountability. Avoiding responsibility (letting others choose for you) can prolong the development of becoming a man. I know, it sounds like I'm blowing everything out of proportion, and maybe I am. However, between periods is the only time in a wrestling that the official stops the action and asks the individual to make a choice...so choose wisely.

Within this same category is the unfortunate phenomenon of choosing "down" without carefully considering if it's the best choice. I try to engage coaches in this conversation and often times I hear responses like this: "you have to be able to get away if you're going to win," "he needs to learn to get away," "we always go down; to get our one," etc., etc. All of these statements lack logic. First of all, you don't have to be able to get away to win. That's just not true unless you're in the final overtime. If he needs to learn to get away, teach him in practice. And always going down is stubbornly stupid. Individuals are empowered in decision making when they see positive results from their choice. Why choose to put someone where they're not good or sure to fail? If your answer is because you always do, that's simply foolish.

As a coach, my responsibility to athletes should be about helping them manage their choices and eventually empowering them to choose wisely on their own. Shame on the coaches who fail to see the opportunity to teach their athletes about responsibility in this category. The impact of the shortsighted decisions they make on behalf of their athletes is appalling. Be choosy about choosing. Every time you have the opportunity to actually choose, no matter how big or small, choose wisely. Make educated and informed decisions.