Ok, so this is completely uncharted waters for me. I have never formally critiqued a book. I don't know the protocol and I'm sure I will violate a number of journalistic ethics in the process, but a friend suggested on Facebook that I write my thoughts about Love Wins by Rob Bell. Since I don't have a seminary background and my exegetical skills are deficient, at best, due to my lack of training in systematic theology, hermeneutics and classic languages, I guess I'm a good person to review a book that has more depth than any other book I have read. So, with that disclaimer, enjoy my review.
Rob Bell is smarter than I am. He has extensive Biblical knowledge so I won't attempt to argue any of his points. He also has a knack for presenting thought provoking questions. I first became aware of his "Nooma" series when I was in college and found myself asking many of the questions he asks. This is what ultimately lead me to reading Love Wins: A Book about Heaven, Hell and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived. Well, that and the fact that he is being attacked by nearly every prominent member of the Evangelical world. Does a loving God send people to hell for an eternity? This is a question that I have asked time and time again and I knew this book wrestled with this same question, so I went for it.
I had heard commentary and read a few reviews about the book that said Bell was suggesting at the possibility of hinting that there could be a valid reason to ask the question about the question related to the idea that no one goes to "hell." I was intrigued, but didn't pursue much because rock star pastors are always taken out of context and are unreasonably questioned by skeptics. So I simply put Bell (and this book) into that category and moved on with my life. Then, I went to his church - Mars Hill Bible Church - in Grand Rapids, Michigan and talked to some dear friends who had read the book. Suddenly, I became very interested in this "controversy" and debate. I knew I had to see for myself what the book said, so I did the best that I knew how to block out all of the other voices in order to draw conclusions of the book on my own. I also prayed that God would let the scriptures formulate my opinion, not Rob Bell or any other pastor.
Bell's style is to ask questions. Lots of questions. I appreciate that because I do the same thing. He answers questions with more questions pulling you deeper into the story because you want answers, not more questions. He really doesn't offer many answers, but the way he phrases the questions leads to me to believe that he is hinting at something closely related to what I understand to be "universalism." Christian Univeralism is basically a school of thought that believes in universal reconciliation, or that every human being will be restored to right relationship with God. This was clearly articulated in this book. He wasn't clear on many things because he asked a lot of questions, but he does claim universal reconciliation. This is extremely appealing to many because it's difficult to have standards and accountability if, in the end, everyone gets the prize. I grew up in a church that basically taught that we could think anything we wanted to about God, Jesus and the Bible and in the end we were all good. This is obviously convenient in a world full of sinners - for which I am one. It misses the essence of Jesus, though. Why church and why Jesus if none of it matters?
This book made me think about what I believe the Bible says on many issues and who I believe Jesus to be. I'm not frightened by this. I think Jesus actively pushed people to question the status quo. He did more than anyone else. I welcome books or talks or people who challenge my faith. However, two things did scare me about this book. The first one is how arrogant we can be as created beings. We think that if it doesn't look right to us, or doesn't feel right, than God must be wrong. It's a bold statement, but I see a lot of it everywhere, not just in this book. Would God do something that I wouldn't do? That is what's being asked in this book. Does God care about people as much as I do? That's at the root. Again, I don't have any theological training, however, after reading the Bible for myself, I'm certain God cares more than I do and I'm also certain that His understanding of the world and eternity is far superior to mine. So, just because it's uncomfortable and scary doesn't mean it isn't true. Just because it's not appealing doesn't mean it isn't true. And just because I wouldn't do something if I were in God's shoes doesn't mean it's not perfect and holy. For me to even think I can put myself in God's shoes is a major problem. I don't want to be that arrogant. I guess this is my problem with Christian Universalism (which is an oxymoron, by the way). We don't get to make up our own version of God's Word to fit our circumstances.
The second thing that scares me is how quickly people are to jump on Rob Bell, the person, in response to this while attacking his claims and stance. The first thing that came to my mind when I heard one person rebuke the book was, "Oh crap! Have I become an accidental Pharisee?" As in, am I in the camp that thinks we have it all figured out? Would I be like those people who attacked Jesus for making huge and sweeping statements about what scripture says? Would I attack Jesus if he came to my church and told me I couldn't drink coffee during the service or that I have it all wrong? Am I a part of a community that believes what other people say about the Bible more than what the Bible is actually saying? This is a gentle warning that I'm not about to take lightly.
I don't agree with everything Bell has written in his interpretation of scripture, but then again, I'm not sure if I agree with all of my interpretations, either. This is precisely the point that I think is important for me to realize in reviewing this book. I'm not clear on what the Bible says in many places. And with many of the references in Love Wins, I'm flat out confused. What I do know, however, is that I'm not privileged to put my spin on what the Bible says because I either don't like it or don't get it. Strangely, the feeling that I'm left with after reading this book is that we get to put whatever spin on this whole thing that we find most pleasurable and enjoyable right now. Rob Bell says that "the Good News is that Love Wins," but the feeling I got is that the book is saying People Win. It might be one in the same. I'm not certain. Can God win, love win and people win all at the same time? Again, I'm not sure.
Exegesis is a critical explanation or interpretation of a text, especially a religious text.
Hermeneutics is the study of the theory and practice of interpretation. Traditional hermeneutics—which includes Biblical hermeneutics—refers to the study of the interpretation of written texts, especially texts in the areas of literature, religion and law.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
You would have done the same
This past weekend we traveled to Michigan for a wedding and on the way back to Wisconsin, we received a phone call from an individual we had met the night before. She was on her way back to Milwaukee and experienced car troubles on the interstate. She was just outside of Chicago and had pulled over in the midst of busy four-lane traffic. She was distraught and didn't know what to do, so we rushed to rescue her.
We were anxiously looking forward to getting back home to see our children. It had already been a very long weekend, but we knew we needed to help her. By the time we had called a tow truck, went to the repair shop and dropped her off at a relative's house in the area, we had added nearly four hours to our trip and pushed our ETA back to well after our kid's bed time. Knowing full well that was going to be the case, we felt blessed to help.
Often times, in similar situations, I've heard the helper respond to the many thanks with, "you would have done the same." Maybe that's true, but it misses the point and is motivated by false pretense. The big question is: will you still offer help if you know they, in fact, wouldn't do the same? I love the idea of paying it forward, but that's not what Jesus did. He straight-up paid it. As a Christ follower, I shouldn't be helping others resting in the comfort that someone will, in turn, help me sometime. I should just help others. Period.
We were anxiously looking forward to getting back home to see our children. It had already been a very long weekend, but we knew we needed to help her. By the time we had called a tow truck, went to the repair shop and dropped her off at a relative's house in the area, we had added nearly four hours to our trip and pushed our ETA back to well after our kid's bed time. Knowing full well that was going to be the case, we felt blessed to help.
Often times, in similar situations, I've heard the helper respond to the many thanks with, "you would have done the same." Maybe that's true, but it misses the point and is motivated by false pretense. The big question is: will you still offer help if you know they, in fact, wouldn't do the same? I love the idea of paying it forward, but that's not what Jesus did. He straight-up paid it. As a Christ follower, I shouldn't be helping others resting in the comfort that someone will, in turn, help me sometime. I should just help others. Period.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
It comes from the heart
I've been listening to a series by Andy Stanley called It Came From Within. It's been one of those series that I will listen to over and over again because it's been convicting and transforming. In the first part, he preaches on the "Hidden Chamber." In Matthew 15:18, Jesus says, "But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart..."
Jesus says, as a matter of fact, that it is possible to tell what's in your heart by what comes out of your mouth. Instead of looking at our heart, we've developed a sophisticated filter that monitors our words and behaviors. Everyone tells us what to say or do, but we neglect the heart. There are issues below the surface that need to be addressed. People say, "watch what you say," or monitor and filter your words, but those words aren't just bad manners, they're a reflection of your heart. People argue this, but there are tons of studies that prove it. The staggering percentage of Olympic athletes who say they would cheat if they knew they wouldn't get caught and other studies overwhelmingly prove Jesus' words to be true.
Yesterday I had a conversation with my dad about a friend of his who has had a terrible run of unfortunate circumstances. He was injured badly in an accident, he lost his job and he's struggling. In the midst of his struggles, he's pointing fingers at the government. He might have legitimate claims, too. Meanwhile, over the past few years his hatred for President Obama has revealed a dark side of racism. He uses words to describe him that should never be used to describe another human being. He said that it's been over 25 years since he's used words like that and he's been driven to feel racism again. He blames Obama. I boldly defended mankind and said that Obama is not forcing this person to hate, rather he already had hate inside his heart. He's been able to monitor it for 25 years because it's socially unacceptable to be racist. However, when the pressure is on, his filter is punctured and his heart is revealed. I would argue that this person has been racist long before he knew who Barack Obama was. It's a condition of the heart. Scary, huh?
Another example of this unfolding before my eyes was in the way I saw respectable people treating each other during the recent events of the recall debacle. Individuals who wore tolerance banners and preached open-mindedness became some of the least tolerant and close-minded people I have ever seen. When the pressure was on, their heart was revealed. They masked their hate with a variety of cute words and ideas that seemed progressive. They had developed a filter in order to make life work and have relationships. That filter was pierced and their heart became visible to the world. It's another scary scene.
On a much smaller scale, the times you appear to act out of character reveal your heart as well. You say something or do something and quickly realize you shouldn't have and then defend yourself by saying things like, "that's so uncharacteristic of who I am" and "I usually don't do (or say) things like this." You get angry and blow-up at your wife or kids. You yell obscenities at another driver at an intersection. Every once in a while, the truth comes out. That which lurks in that dark place and has never been monitored pierces the filter.
This is why the wisest man who ever lived, Solomon, wrote in Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Solomon wrote many things, but he says this is the most important. Guard your heart because you live from the heart. You parent from the heart. You lead from the heart. What got in there that shouldn't be there? What's coming out that lets you know there's an issue in there? Life has a way of lodging things in the heart. Take responsibility for what's inside. Learn how to monitor and guard your heart, not just your words. Watch what goes in and what comes out.
Jesus says, as a matter of fact, that it is possible to tell what's in your heart by what comes out of your mouth. Instead of looking at our heart, we've developed a sophisticated filter that monitors our words and behaviors. Everyone tells us what to say or do, but we neglect the heart. There are issues below the surface that need to be addressed. People say, "watch what you say," or monitor and filter your words, but those words aren't just bad manners, they're a reflection of your heart. People argue this, but there are tons of studies that prove it. The staggering percentage of Olympic athletes who say they would cheat if they knew they wouldn't get caught and other studies overwhelmingly prove Jesus' words to be true.
Yesterday I had a conversation with my dad about a friend of his who has had a terrible run of unfortunate circumstances. He was injured badly in an accident, he lost his job and he's struggling. In the midst of his struggles, he's pointing fingers at the government. He might have legitimate claims, too. Meanwhile, over the past few years his hatred for President Obama has revealed a dark side of racism. He uses words to describe him that should never be used to describe another human being. He said that it's been over 25 years since he's used words like that and he's been driven to feel racism again. He blames Obama. I boldly defended mankind and said that Obama is not forcing this person to hate, rather he already had hate inside his heart. He's been able to monitor it for 25 years because it's socially unacceptable to be racist. However, when the pressure is on, his filter is punctured and his heart is revealed. I would argue that this person has been racist long before he knew who Barack Obama was. It's a condition of the heart. Scary, huh?
Another example of this unfolding before my eyes was in the way I saw respectable people treating each other during the recent events of the recall debacle. Individuals who wore tolerance banners and preached open-mindedness became some of the least tolerant and close-minded people I have ever seen. When the pressure was on, their heart was revealed. They masked their hate with a variety of cute words and ideas that seemed progressive. They had developed a filter in order to make life work and have relationships. That filter was pierced and their heart became visible to the world. It's another scary scene.
On a much smaller scale, the times you appear to act out of character reveal your heart as well. You say something or do something and quickly realize you shouldn't have and then defend yourself by saying things like, "that's so uncharacteristic of who I am" and "I usually don't do (or say) things like this." You get angry and blow-up at your wife or kids. You yell obscenities at another driver at an intersection. Every once in a while, the truth comes out. That which lurks in that dark place and has never been monitored pierces the filter.
This is why the wisest man who ever lived, Solomon, wrote in Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Solomon wrote many things, but he says this is the most important. Guard your heart because you live from the heart. You parent from the heart. You lead from the heart. What got in there that shouldn't be there? What's coming out that lets you know there's an issue in there? Life has a way of lodging things in the heart. Take responsibility for what's inside. Learn how to monitor and guard your heart, not just your words. Watch what goes in and what comes out.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
I voted...again
For some reason it seems like I've been to the polls an awful lot this year. It seems that way because it's true. In the past 9 months, I've voted 5 times. My kids love the "I Voted" stickers, but even those are wearing out their welcome.
Today is the recall election for the 10th Senate District in Wisconsin (as well as five other Senate Districts). It's been very overwhelming and, at times, quite disappointing leading up to this day. I already voted today and thought it was appropriate to shed a little light on what is taking place.
Members of this voting district collected enough signatures to recall Senator Shelia Harsdorf. The spring months were flooded with signs and individuals parked on the street, waving American flags and holding a clipboard, asking people to sign their name so Harsdorf could be voted out of office. Most of the individuals who signed call it accountability.
Before time expired, a Republican threw his name in the hat, got the signatures required and we had a recall primary between Shelly Moore and Isaac Weix on July 12th. Wisconsin has an open primary system so any registered voter can vote in either party's primary. Moore won.
According to the National Conference of State Legislatures, only 20 state lawmakers throughout the entire United States had faced a recall election before this recall-palooza this summer. That number is nationwide, since 1908, successful or not. I've often wondered if the recall has been abused and a precedent has been set that will lead to many more recalls in the future (say, every election).
Currently, only 19 states allow citizens to recall state officials. It's been a privilege in Wisconsin since 1926 when an amendment to our state constitution was approved by only 50.6 percent of the voters. Since then, only 4 recalls have taken place in our state and 2 of them have been successful (Sen. George Petak in 1996 and Sen. Gary George in 2003). To say this summer has been historic would be an understatement.
Here's what gets me, though: two unexpected elections here have obviously affected the budget that so many people and politicians are fighting over. Printing ballots, manning polling places, printing and publishing notices and finding funds that weren't included in the budget will cost taxpayers millions in unanticipated election costs. I'm sure there will be recounts, too. Additionally, the recall efforts have basically stopped the current Senate from operating in a regular capacity. Half of the senators have been campaigning and raising funds for these unexpected elections. My guess is that ordinary business of legislation has been put aside.
Our state constitution allows for recalls, but I have to be honest in saying that it's been frustrating, especially since I voted for Harsdorf in November. My vote didn't count then? If the recall is successful and Harsdorf is removed from the senate, do Republicans collect signatures to recall Moore the moment she makes a decision in office? If the recall is not successful and Harsdorf remains in office, then what do her opponents do now? They can't try again. According to Wis. Stat. 9.10(6) she could not be recalled again? I guess with the way this summer has unfolded, nothing would surprise me, though.
On a bright side, I've examined my political thought process more than ever before. I feel as if I'm more informed (even though I still don't have a clue). I've been a part of the process from the first rally on campus in River Falls and have carefully weighed both sides and objectively listened to others. I've been open minded and made my decision with confidence.
Today is the recall election for the 10th Senate District in Wisconsin (as well as five other Senate Districts). It's been very overwhelming and, at times, quite disappointing leading up to this day. I already voted today and thought it was appropriate to shed a little light on what is taking place.
Members of this voting district collected enough signatures to recall Senator Shelia Harsdorf. The spring months were flooded with signs and individuals parked on the street, waving American flags and holding a clipboard, asking people to sign their name so Harsdorf could be voted out of office. Most of the individuals who signed call it accountability.
Before time expired, a Republican threw his name in the hat, got the signatures required and we had a recall primary between Shelly Moore and Isaac Weix on July 12th. Wisconsin has an open primary system so any registered voter can vote in either party's primary. Moore won.
According to the National Conference of State Legislatures, only 20 state lawmakers throughout the entire United States had faced a recall election before this recall-palooza this summer. That number is nationwide, since 1908, successful or not. I've often wondered if the recall has been abused and a precedent has been set that will lead to many more recalls in the future (say, every election).
Currently, only 19 states allow citizens to recall state officials. It's been a privilege in Wisconsin since 1926 when an amendment to our state constitution was approved by only 50.6 percent of the voters. Since then, only 4 recalls have taken place in our state and 2 of them have been successful (Sen. George Petak in 1996 and Sen. Gary George in 2003). To say this summer has been historic would be an understatement.
Here's what gets me, though: two unexpected elections here have obviously affected the budget that so many people and politicians are fighting over. Printing ballots, manning polling places, printing and publishing notices and finding funds that weren't included in the budget will cost taxpayers millions in unanticipated election costs. I'm sure there will be recounts, too. Additionally, the recall efforts have basically stopped the current Senate from operating in a regular capacity. Half of the senators have been campaigning and raising funds for these unexpected elections. My guess is that ordinary business of legislation has been put aside.
Our state constitution allows for recalls, but I have to be honest in saying that it's been frustrating, especially since I voted for Harsdorf in November. My vote didn't count then? If the recall is successful and Harsdorf is removed from the senate, do Republicans collect signatures to recall Moore the moment she makes a decision in office? If the recall is not successful and Harsdorf remains in office, then what do her opponents do now? They can't try again. According to Wis. Stat. 9.10(6) she could not be recalled again? I guess with the way this summer has unfolded, nothing would surprise me, though.
On a bright side, I've examined my political thought process more than ever before. I feel as if I'm more informed (even though I still don't have a clue). I've been a part of the process from the first rally on campus in River Falls and have carefully weighed both sides and objectively listened to others. I've been open minded and made my decision with confidence.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Let him jump
This post is a response to the previous one about Isaiah jumping off the steps. We went to another friend's house yesterday and they had a front porch that was higher than the two-step landing he jumped from a few days ago. The first thing he did when we got to the house was climb the steps and walk to the edge as if he was going to jump.
I can't say I thought it was a good idea this time, but I tried to practice what I preach and I didn't get involved, however, our friend reached out for him and said, "don't jump, it's a long ways down." She was right. She grabbed his hand walked him away from the edge. This little moment caused me to think that sometimes we need to throw caution aside and let him jump.
I heard a talk almost 10 years ago by Erwin McManus and he told a story of a time his son crawled out his bedroom window onto the roof and asked his dad if he would catch him if he jumped. Dad said he would try to catch him, but couldn't promise that he would. The mother frantically told her son to get away from the edge and back inside. He elaborated on the story more, but concluded that often times, we get talked back inside when we should jump. In this particular situation, it might be a bad example, but in principle it is spot on.
We are often talked out of jumping and encouraged to go back inside because those who care for us are simply protecting us. Nearly every time, the reasons to protect him from what is perceived as an unnecessary risk are completely valid. However, the truth is those protective instincts could be holding him back from his God-given potential. Sometimes a risk is essential and completely necessary. Let him jump and be there for him if it's a success or a failure, but don't stop him from taking the leap. That might assure failure.
It was another lesson learned on the front porch. Am I going to talk my children back inside or am I going to watch them jump? Of course, they could get hurt. They might not be ready. They might not be good enough. I might just be protecting them because I care. They might need me. I might be right. But it's not about me. They might need to jump because it makes the most sense to them at the time and it's the only logical and reasonable avenue for growth. I should never get in the way of that. Sometimes I do need to let them jump.
"And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin
I can't say I thought it was a good idea this time, but I tried to practice what I preach and I didn't get involved, however, our friend reached out for him and said, "don't jump, it's a long ways down." She was right. She grabbed his hand walked him away from the edge. This little moment caused me to think that sometimes we need to throw caution aside and let him jump.
I heard a talk almost 10 years ago by Erwin McManus and he told a story of a time his son crawled out his bedroom window onto the roof and asked his dad if he would catch him if he jumped. Dad said he would try to catch him, but couldn't promise that he would. The mother frantically told her son to get away from the edge and back inside. He elaborated on the story more, but concluded that often times, we get talked back inside when we should jump. In this particular situation, it might be a bad example, but in principle it is spot on.
We are often talked out of jumping and encouraged to go back inside because those who care for us are simply protecting us. Nearly every time, the reasons to protect him from what is perceived as an unnecessary risk are completely valid. However, the truth is those protective instincts could be holding him back from his God-given potential. Sometimes a risk is essential and completely necessary. Let him jump and be there for him if it's a success or a failure, but don't stop him from taking the leap. That might assure failure.
It was another lesson learned on the front porch. Am I going to talk my children back inside or am I going to watch them jump? Of course, they could get hurt. They might not be ready. They might not be good enough. I might just be protecting them because I care. They might need me. I might be right. But it's not about me. They might need to jump because it makes the most sense to them at the time and it's the only logical and reasonable avenue for growth. I should never get in the way of that. Sometimes I do need to let them jump.
"And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin
Sometimes we need to watch and not push
I'm still a new parent and I'm learning fun and exciting things everyday. The simple thoughts, naivety and curiosity of my children interests me more than anything because it teaches me so much about myself. It also gives me insight into the lives of my athletes, and oddly enough, their parents.
Yesterday we went to our friend's house for dinner. They have a son that is about the same age as our oldest. He is light years beyond Isaiah physically, though. He walked early, runs, jumps and does somersaults while Isaiah struggles to climb the stairs without assistance. It's very interesting watching his mind as he tries to keep up to this boy. Understandably, Isaiah comes home from their house with many bumps and bruises and cuts and scrapes because he pushes himself. I think it's always a great experience for him. Here's the key point, though: as the parent, I have to remain a spectator and not "push" him to keep up or even come close to comparing him.
There was a moment that I'm sure I'll remember for the rest of my life. We were in the front yard talking about landscaping with our friends and all of the kids were doing their own thing. I watched Isaiah out of the corner of my eye walk over to the front stairs and jump off. To understand how great this was, allow me to set the scene a little more clearer so you can see why this was special and then I'll get to my point.
Isaiah has low muscle tone and has been behind physically since he was born. We've seen many doctors, have heard many opinions and have concluded that he'll likely be "behind" (whatever that is) for a very long time. Conversely, he's extremely smart and articulate - probably way ahead for his age - and he communicates his thoughts and feelings often. With this combination, he's not much of a risk taker. He afraid to jump and climb stairs simply because of how difficult it is for him, but also because of the lack of security. Our hearts ache for him at times, but we're optimistic.
Going back to what happened in the front yard; I saw a determined Isaiah walk up two steps to the top of the landing. He looked around momentarily, as if he was measuring the distance to the ground and mustering up the courage to jump. He sheepishly inched his toes to the edge and took the leap. He fell first on his knees then flat on his face! I was watching, but he didn't know. He got up, literally shook off the dirt and started walking towards us as if nothing had happened. Everything inside of me wanted to jump up and down and acknowledge that he jumped for the first time. I also wanted to rush to his aid to see if he was alright after his fall (it was more of a fall than a jump). However, if I would have done either, I fear the whole point would have been missed. He likely would have cried and been even more scared to do it in the future.
I saw a little boy who, for the first time, took a risk. He pushed himself and didn't need Mommy or Daddy there to help him do it or to be there for him when he failed. Sometimes, parents need to push, but sometimes we need to let them do it alone. I think it was a crucial time in his life and if I would have been there for him, it could have enabled him. I'm proud of myself for letting him go at it by himself and I'm very proud of him for trying.
As a wrestling coach, I see many parents pushing their children when they're not ready to push themselves. If we never allow for opportunities like this to develop, they may never be ready to push themselves.
Yesterday we went to our friend's house for dinner. They have a son that is about the same age as our oldest. He is light years beyond Isaiah physically, though. He walked early, runs, jumps and does somersaults while Isaiah struggles to climb the stairs without assistance. It's very interesting watching his mind as he tries to keep up to this boy. Understandably, Isaiah comes home from their house with many bumps and bruises and cuts and scrapes because he pushes himself. I think it's always a great experience for him. Here's the key point, though: as the parent, I have to remain a spectator and not "push" him to keep up or even come close to comparing him.
There was a moment that I'm sure I'll remember for the rest of my life. We were in the front yard talking about landscaping with our friends and all of the kids were doing their own thing. I watched Isaiah out of the corner of my eye walk over to the front stairs and jump off. To understand how great this was, allow me to set the scene a little more clearer so you can see why this was special and then I'll get to my point.
Isaiah has low muscle tone and has been behind physically since he was born. We've seen many doctors, have heard many opinions and have concluded that he'll likely be "behind" (whatever that is) for a very long time. Conversely, he's extremely smart and articulate - probably way ahead for his age - and he communicates his thoughts and feelings often. With this combination, he's not much of a risk taker. He afraid to jump and climb stairs simply because of how difficult it is for him, but also because of the lack of security. Our hearts ache for him at times, but we're optimistic.
Going back to what happened in the front yard; I saw a determined Isaiah walk up two steps to the top of the landing. He looked around momentarily, as if he was measuring the distance to the ground and mustering up the courage to jump. He sheepishly inched his toes to the edge and took the leap. He fell first on his knees then flat on his face! I was watching, but he didn't know. He got up, literally shook off the dirt and started walking towards us as if nothing had happened. Everything inside of me wanted to jump up and down and acknowledge that he jumped for the first time. I also wanted to rush to his aid to see if he was alright after his fall (it was more of a fall than a jump). However, if I would have done either, I fear the whole point would have been missed. He likely would have cried and been even more scared to do it in the future.
I saw a little boy who, for the first time, took a risk. He pushed himself and didn't need Mommy or Daddy there to help him do it or to be there for him when he failed. Sometimes, parents need to push, but sometimes we need to let them do it alone. I think it was a crucial time in his life and if I would have been there for him, it could have enabled him. I'm proud of myself for letting him go at it by himself and I'm very proud of him for trying.
As a wrestling coach, I see many parents pushing their children when they're not ready to push themselves. If we never allow for opportunities like this to develop, they may never be ready to push themselves.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Once a Wildcat, always a Wildcat
The Wildcat Hall of Fame Induction and Banquet was a tremendous event. I am humbled to be included in the inaugural class and to have been honored in such a way last Friday night. It didn’t seem right to be on this most excellent list alongside some of my heroes, mentors and “godfathers” of River Falls athletics.
As a young and aspiring Wildcat, I looked up to these individuals and had a tremendous amount of respect for each of them. My dad often told me stories of their accolades and many of these men and women were legends in our household. I desperately wanted to walk in the footsteps of their success because I knew of their athletic achievements, but I also knew of their individual character. In a world of professional sports entertainment, high school athletics provides children with role models who are tangible. I wanted to be a Wildcat more than anything because I knew the individuals in the blue and gold.
Kirby Symes is one of the all-time great ambassadors to the sport I chose and the wrestling community will forever be grateful for his service, however, I participated in opportunities created by Mrs. Timmermann before I did in those created by Kirby. I adored Mrs. T and was the only boy in her tumbling class in kindergarten and 1st grade. Isn’t it wonderful that Mrs. T broke through gender barriers and become a positive influence to even a boy like me? She is still an encouragement to me. In her acceptance speech, she referred to the fact that RFHS accepted women as coaches far before the law required it. I identify with that sentiment today as a coach of female wrestlers. She had an impact on many people. Can you imagine how many newspaper articles one would have to cut out of the River Falls Journal for every story that she directly or indirectly influenced. I hope she cut out the picture on the front page of the sports section from last week and wrote those enduring words, “Good job, Mrs. T” and sent a copy to herself.
I have so many more wonderful memories that include this group of individuals. Paul Wehking was the first “superstar” I ever met. He was bigger than life to me as a 5 year old wrestling fan. Next to my dad, Pauly Cudd has demonstrated what it means to love his family (and sports) more than any other man I know. DeWayne Bennedict is River Falls wrestling. Of course, others have played a large role in the storied program, but I doubt there’s anyone who has been there for all of it like he has. My brother and I used to go to church on Christmas Day and hoped Steve Farley and his brothers were there just so we could shake their hands. Steve’s dad taught my rowdy Sunday school class and we loved hearing stories about Steve’s pitching career. Whether it was raking Mr. Hanson’s yard or having our floor hockey games in the hallway halted by Mr. Wunrow after a home wrestling match, River Falls athletics has always been like a giant extended family of mine.
In 1998, I was fortunate enough to achieve some very lofty goals. I may have been the kid getting my hand raised on the mat, but I knew then, and know even more know, that there were hundreds of Wildcats who won that night. The support from my family, school and community was unprecedented. In fact, Karyn Bye called my house on the Monday before the state tournament that year to wish me luck and to let me know that my community had my back. She had much more important things on her mind that week, like winning an Olympic Gold Medal in Nagano, Japan, and she still took the time to offer me her support. She remembered her roots and so do I. Once a Wildcat, always a Wildcat.
As a young and aspiring Wildcat, I looked up to these individuals and had a tremendous amount of respect for each of them. My dad often told me stories of their accolades and many of these men and women were legends in our household. I desperately wanted to walk in the footsteps of their success because I knew of their athletic achievements, but I also knew of their individual character. In a world of professional sports entertainment, high school athletics provides children with role models who are tangible. I wanted to be a Wildcat more than anything because I knew the individuals in the blue and gold.
Kirby Symes is one of the all-time great ambassadors to the sport I chose and the wrestling community will forever be grateful for his service, however, I participated in opportunities created by Mrs. Timmermann before I did in those created by Kirby. I adored Mrs. T and was the only boy in her tumbling class in kindergarten and 1st grade. Isn’t it wonderful that Mrs. T broke through gender barriers and become a positive influence to even a boy like me? She is still an encouragement to me. In her acceptance speech, she referred to the fact that RFHS accepted women as coaches far before the law required it. I identify with that sentiment today as a coach of female wrestlers. She had an impact on many people. Can you imagine how many newspaper articles one would have to cut out of the River Falls Journal for every story that she directly or indirectly influenced. I hope she cut out the picture on the front page of the sports section from last week and wrote those enduring words, “Good job, Mrs. T” and sent a copy to herself.
I have so many more wonderful memories that include this group of individuals. Paul Wehking was the first “superstar” I ever met. He was bigger than life to me as a 5 year old wrestling fan. Next to my dad, Pauly Cudd has demonstrated what it means to love his family (and sports) more than any other man I know. DeWayne Bennedict is River Falls wrestling. Of course, others have played a large role in the storied program, but I doubt there’s anyone who has been there for all of it like he has. My brother and I used to go to church on Christmas Day and hoped Steve Farley and his brothers were there just so we could shake their hands. Steve’s dad taught my rowdy Sunday school class and we loved hearing stories about Steve’s pitching career. Whether it was raking Mr. Hanson’s yard or having our floor hockey games in the hallway halted by Mr. Wunrow after a home wrestling match, River Falls athletics has always been like a giant extended family of mine.
In 1998, I was fortunate enough to achieve some very lofty goals. I may have been the kid getting my hand raised on the mat, but I knew then, and know even more know, that there were hundreds of Wildcats who won that night. The support from my family, school and community was unprecedented. In fact, Karyn Bye called my house on the Monday before the state tournament that year to wish me luck and to let me know that my community had my back. She had much more important things on her mind that week, like winning an Olympic Gold Medal in Nagano, Japan, and she still took the time to offer me her support. She remembered her roots and so do I. Once a Wildcat, always a Wildcat.
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