"She said she's willing to do whatever it takes."
This is what I was told about an athlete who had just suffered a devastating loss. She was hurting badly and looking for anyone or anything to help her make sense of it. She had committed her entire life to that single moment and fell short. She had seen her dream as a reality for so long that she knew nothing of a life without it.
She had done everything she was told and worked harder than everyone else. But it didn't work. The sports community told her that if she prepared the right way, believed in herself and did her absolutely best, she'd accomplish her goals. They lied. Her best wasn't enough.
Talent can fool you into thinking you're prepared for something you're not. She put all she had on the line and came up short.
When what you have isn't enough, you begin to wonder if who you are is.
She had so many questions and no answers. She lost motivation, lost trust in the process and most of all, lost herself. It didn't feel right; it wasn't her. She didn't know who she was anymore.
She was broken and that's precisely where she needed to be.
She had arrived at a crossroads, one that will be a defining moment in her life. Hard work and talent wasn't enough. There was a new realm within the sports world that she had yet to explore. Becoming the Total Athlete requires a commitment to the body, mind and soul. It's as if the veil was lifted from her eyes for the first time and her paradigm was shifted. Doing whatever it takes took on a new meaning and there was no turning back.
To reach her full human and athletic potential, attacking the mental and spiritual aspects of sport cannot be overlooked any longer. Avoiding passivity and moving towards the fight in a wrestling match is imperative and obvious. Now, she must go towards the fight inside of her. Ask the hard questions of who am I? and why am I here? The new journey is overwhelming and terrifying. Without knowing where to start, she must do so immediately. The same intensity needed to endure a grueling practice must be applied when confronting the condition of her own heart.
Identity Before Activity
When your guts are torn out and exposed to the world, vulnerability is not a choice and the only response is humility. You're finally able to admit to yourself that athletics is about the journey and not the outcome. You're forced to change your perspective. The loss creates an opportunity to develop perseverance in a way that wouldn't be possible without it.
The setback becomes a set-up for something bigger than yourself.
There's no guarantee that a favorable outcome is waiting on the other side of vulnerability, but it's guaranteed that the outcome won't show up if you're not willing to be. Digging deeper and deeper, finding out who you are beyond the wrestling mat is the new journey. It's necessary for victory and it's necessary for who you are to become. When you know you are, you know what to do.
Living Life at the Highest Level
Finding the strength to put her shoes on and step on the mat is the easy part. Stepping away and examining what's in her own heart is not. Courageously, she must stand face-to-face with who she's created to be - or Whose she's created to be. Motivation, significance and value independent of sport must be her discovery in order to live her life at the highest level. It's then, and only then, that she'll be able to compete at the highest level.
The pain is real. The loss will hurt forever. She'll never get over it. She will, however, be able to embrace all of it because this is exactly what she needed. All of it points to the one thing that matters most.
Without hesitation, she says she's still willing to do whatever it takes even though it's much, much more than she had anticipated.
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing, but if you're not enough without the medal, you'll never be enough with it."