Coaching styles - what do you say from the corner?

Over the weekend I sat in the corner for over 50 high school wrestling matches as my varsity team competed in an 8-team scramble.  Each wrestler had 5 individual matches (pending forfeits).  Everything was ordinary for a tournament like this, however, I had a lightbulb moment when I heard instructions coming from a coach across the mat.

He was saying things that are very common at the beginning of the second period of a match at a wrestling tournament: "watch the leg coming in," "he wants to ride legs," "don't let him power half you."  These are the three that stuck out in that moment, but there are several other statements of the like in almost every position in wrestling.  This particular coach used a lot of them.  What occurred to me was the opposing coach was focused solely on my wrestler.  Never once in the entire 6-minute match did he make a suggestion to productively assist his his athlete in doing something.

Immediately, I thought hard about the things I say during wrestling matches.  I've been told by several parents, spectators and wrestlers that I'm not extremely vocal from the chair.  This is intentional.  I want to be careful that the words I use are helpful and valuable.  I believe "over-coaching" from the corner can simply turn into noise leaving it difficult for athletes to deceiver what's important in a moment of need.  I also believe that a good coach will do most of his/her coaching in the wrestling room or between matches and equip athletes to perform on their own during a competition.  If I indirectly create a dependency on my instruction or presence, I'm directly holding an athlete back from reaching his/her potential.  With all of that said, I concluded that the instruction that does come from my mouth during a wrestling match has very little to do with the other athlete.  It's almost 100% focused on actions that my athlete can take.  The instruction is meant to be informative in the moment and ultimately encouraging, empowering and positive.  I consciously try to avoid cliches or catchy phrases in exchange for relevant information geared for the moment.  Unfortunately, that's not all too common at wrestling tournaments.

Why is this important?

I believe that I have a responsibility to model the character that I desire to produce in my athletes.  Part of this is acting professional and with good sportsmanship and part of it is to demonstrate personal responsibility, the ability to set goals and have success in little moments.  Setting goals can be a difficult process for athletes, especially if the coach is constantly reminding athletes of what they do poorly, what they shouldn't do instead of what is possible, or comparing and informing them of what others are doing.  This creates a victim mentality and an opportunity for a teenager to avoid responsibility.  Anytime you define goals by what you won't do instead of what you will do, you'll undermine your development (one reason New Year's Resolutions tend to be unsuccessful).

Hearing that coach on Saturday has led me to take even more time to reflect on what I say as a coach.  Because it matters.  I ask athletes what their thoughts are regarding my matside demeanor.  I lean into other coaches and parents for input, too.  I know far too many coaches who are afraid to open themselves up to constructive criticism from those closest to them.

Coaches, watch video of yourself as a coach, ask for input on how you're doing and what others see in you.  You want your athletes to watch video of themselves after competitions and be coachable, don't you?  The same should be true for those steering the ship.  We should lead by example and constantly be looking for ways to improve.

I do my best to posture myself as a lifelong learner.  I'm thankful I was able to glean something from another coach over the weekend.  We should always be looking for opportunities to learn from everyone no matter what their role is.