11 Totally Rotten Things We Do That Are Ruining Athletes' Lives

I recently read an article online about the "terrible" things parents do their kids.  It was a satire piece that shared the insights of children and how they understand parenting styles to be mean, unfair, unreasonable, etc.  You know, the stereotypical tantrums that include, "you're stupid, I hate everyone, you're ruining my life..." or making your 15-year old shovel the driveway even though it will likely snow again.  One of my favorite bloggers used the idea as inspiration to confess and share the horrible wrongdoings of several coaches and how they're "ruining the lives" of athletes.  Both were great reads.

This led me to consider some of the things we (River Falls Wrestling) do that are sometimes misconstrued as "awful."  In nearly every example, it comes down to the fact that younger individuals sometimes struggle to see the big picture.  That's alright because it's how human nature works.  Adolescents and children are still growing and developing.  Adult have a responsibility to be the grown up and stay the course no matter how obscene the tantrum is.  Coaches have a responsibility to establish order and structure.  While leading young people, adults must act out of conviction and not convenience.

Okay, here we go:
*disclaimer: not all original ideas; some are repeats from the articles mentioned above...

1. We're so old fashioned that we tell high school boys that real men respect women.  This includes, but is not limited to, holding doors, speaking highly of and being protective of the opposite gender.  I know, it is 2015...
2. Can you believe it?  Our athletes are not allowed to lift weights unsupervised.  But how will they get the numbers they need to be college-ready?
3. Our coaches are such hard asses, seriously, we expect kids to be to practice on time.  Man, the audacity, especially considering they only have 45 minutes to get to another building and dressed in time after school.
4. We require wrestlers shower after practice.  Are you kidding me?  Whatever happened to free will?
5. We have a crazy rule that athletes need to attend practice the week before a meet.
6. Our athletes are not allowed to text during practice.  Or go on Facebook, or Twitter, or Instagram or Snapchat.  How on Earth will their friends know if they're alright?  Where's the empathy, you might say.
7. If we catch our athletes cheating, we call them out.  If they break rules, we hold them accountable.  We don't turn our eye or pretend it didn't occur because it's easier...is this the United Soviet Socialist Republic, or what?
8. We actually communicate with our athletic trainer, so our athletes are not allowed to say she said something that she actually didn't say as a way out of hard work.  It's so deceiving, right?
9. We hold everyone to the same standards regardless of their ability level or gender.  No single athlete is bigger than the program.  No one is "special" even if his/her mom or dad says so.
10. Our wrestlers are told to make their bed every morning even though we're not their parents!  What right do we have?  If their lives are a mess, their training will be a mess.  Also, we want them to start their day by accomplishing something first thing in the morning.  That's all likely grounds for a lawsuit.
11. In our program, student-athletes are students first.  Not getting it done in the classroom?  Not allowed to wrestle.  Simple.

There are several other things that come as a surprise to our athletes as we interact with them daily.  Things like telling them to say "thank you" or "I love you" to Mom and Dad or that you only get out of athletics (and academics) what you put into them or the concept of cause-and-effect are a few.  It's fun to change the point-of-view to drive home the point: we're most concerned that our student-athletes do their best and be their best.  If their overall well-being is important to us, sometimes we're going to be unpopular.  And that's okay.