Taming the Tongue: Proceed With Caution

The childhood phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is one of the biggest lies that we learn growing up. Words have the potential to hurt far more than any physical pain we can experience. The pain that comes from words can leave scars much deeper than any flesh wound.

As a coach, I need to constantly be aware of the words that I use with my athletes. A single word has the ability to empower and lift up and individual. However, the same word has the ability to destroy someone. The way it is communicated makes all of the difference. The tongue can be an extremely dangerous weapon.

In the Book of James, God warns us about the destructive power of our tongue. Its power is disproportionate to its size, much like a bullet or a match. It can become a deadly weapon if we do not tame it. A match may seem very small and insignificant, but it has the power to start a fire that burns thousands and thousands of acres. The tongue, says James, is much more powerful than a match.

The planned talks are not usually the ones that cause destruction. It is the unplanned action of our tongues that cause pain. James simply wrote this so we would mind our tongues, or watch what we say.

Your tongue reveals what's in your heart. James 3:8 states, "but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison."

If no human being can control the tongue than why bother trying? Even if we may not achieve perfect control of our tongues, we can still learn enough control to reduce the damage our words can do. It is better to fight a fire than to go around setting new ones. Man might not be able to tame the tongue, but God can.

So, be careful and focus on God. Focusing on God means we will be less apt to discharge or say something the we wish we never would've said.

"Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips" Psalm 141:3.

Absolute Truth

I am anxiously awaiting my return home for a myriad of reasons. I miss my family and my country dearly. I am also excited to reconnect in the lives of the athletes that I work with. On Monday I will be the keynote speaker for the premier of FalconLife – Athletes In Action’s monthly gathering – on campus at UW-River Falls.

I have a passion to reach college athletes. Together, Liz and I have volunteered to lead AIA at UWRF through the SportLink connection. AIA is a Christian sports ministry and a division of Campus Crusade for Christ. The mission is One World to Reach, One Language of Sport, One Message of Victory.

In his best-selling book The Closing of the American Mind Allan Bloom writes, “there is one thing a professor can be absolutely certain of: almost every student entering the university believes, or says he believes, that truth is relative.” Today it is common to hear the word relative used when talk turns to ethics, morality or religious matters.

I do not consider myself to be a “religious” man. I identify myself as a Christ follower who supports the movement of Jesus Christ and I do believe that there is, in fact, absolute truth.

The Bible states that full knowledge of all things belongs to God alone and not to man (Romans 11:33-34). Translation: we do not know everything. While there is much that humans cannot discern, there is also much that God has revealed to them (Deuteronomy 29:29). So, we can trust his Word because He proves himself trustworthy. If we do accept the Bible as God’s inspired and true Word (2 Timothy 3:16, 2 Peter 1:21), then there is at least one thing in this world that is not relative: scripture.

My heart’s cry for these college athletes comes from John 17:17. It says, “sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.” I can share my faith with others and I have the ability to be very convincing. However, I am not looking for these young men and women to agree with me. Instead, I am hoping to merely introduce them to the God of the universe and watch them experience Him for who He is.

The Big 3-0

Today is my birthday! In years past, I have been very excited for this day. However, as we get further and further from 1979, I no longer look forward to this day with anticipation.

I remember feeling butterflies in my stomach for weeks leading up to my big day. I am fortunate to have grown up in a family that made a very big deal out of birthday celebrations. Our extended family filled our house on the first weekend available following our own special date.

It became awkward for everyone when you became a teenager because it was unclear if we were too "mature" for Mom and Dad to host another party. If there was a party, were you supposed to get presents and what type of gifts were you to receive? My grandparents gave me a card with money inside that equalled the age that I turned. When I turned 13, I received $13 from each grandparent. Now, a simple phone call will sufice, if that.

I have had a lot of great memories on September 25th over the past 30 years. I do not remember, but I have seen pictures of 9/25/80 - #1 - when my Grandpa Julie gave me my first winter jacket. I fell over because it weighed as much as I did. On 9/25/88 I fell off a hay wagon and severly cut my right arm. I have a scar to prove it. 9/25/93 was memorable because Kady Kleven broke my heart at the Homecoming football game. I cried. 9/25/03 was significant because it was the first birthday as a married man and last year I had the best gift yet, a baby boy named Isaiah James. There are so many more memories; I could go on and on.

9/25/09 is a very unique birthday "celebration" for me. I am spending the day halfway around the world without a single family member within 6,000 miles. It is also unique because I dredded the day that I would turn 30...the day that I became "old." The fact is, now I can measure my life in decades. I have reached an age that I can no longer "die a tragically young death." By body is digressing (or decaying) every moment. I am out of touch with the modern youth culture and I am happy to purchase clothes at Target. I thought that day would NEVER come.

So, here I am. 30 years old. I will admit that I am sulking a bit, but I honestly do not feel any older. People always say, "age is just a number." That is probably true and I know that I have a lot of great years ahead of me as a husband, father and businessman. Maintaining a proper perspective is the key ingredient to making sure that age just stays a number. At the moment, I am owning the quote on a t-shirt I purchased for one of my assitant coaches: "Been acting my shoe size since 1986."

If I can do that, I will stay young at heart and that is all that matters.

Be Still

At this moment, I am experiencing trials of many kinds and I feel as if I have been thrust into the furnace of fire. There is a crazy typhoon within my soul and my mind has been filled with many divergent thoughts. Sometimes I feel completely overwhelmed by thoughts and emotions that I do not know what to do. Most recently, I do not even know how to feel about what I am feeling or know what I am supposed to be feeling. It is definately a conundrum--an intricate and difficult problem.

The words that I hear God speaking to me right now start with a quote from Erwin McManus. He says, “I search for thoughts and none come. Or maybe there are so many that none can be heard. Noise and silence are not opposites but enemies. Both noise and silence trap us. In the noise find meaning. In the silence find stillness. Listen until you hear that still small voice.”

Often times when I am confused I turn to music. I can identify quickly with words that are sung. However, in my current situation, I need to turn to God's Word before the words of humans. This is a particular moment when I need to be aware of God and know when not to sing. “Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day” (Proverbs 25:20). I need to listen to God and allow myself to be transparent and authentic before my Creator.

For me to listen, I need to be still. I shall seek silence and attempt to eliminate noise. I hope to camp somewhere between the two and trust the promises that God has made. "Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10).

If I am sincerley still and basking in the presence of the Lord, my trials can bring great pleasure to God. In return, that will bring great pleasure to me.

"We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope" (Romans 5:3-4).

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4).

Flying Across the World

Airplane travel is always a very curious experience for me. I am fortunate to have unique opportunities to fly all over the United States and, occasionally, across the world. Today I am on my way to Billund, Denmark and have made a brief hiatus in Amsterdam. Layovers in Europe provide me with time to reflect on my feelings from the flight.

From packing to ticketing, the process leading up to boarding the plane offers a unique blend of nervousness and excitedness. I often wonder where everyone is going and where these people call home. We look like vagabonds who temporarily reside in the airport.

When I finally board the airplane, two thoughts always cross my mind. The first is the recalling of a stand-up act by George Carlin about airline announcements. It provides me just the right amount of cathartic humor needed to take the edge off the fact that I will be hovering above the North Atlantic for over six hours.

Secondly, I ponder a blog post by David Crowder that is almost 10 years old. He mentioned how difficult it is to trust physics when you look at the shape and size of a Boeing 747. The idea of lift force and Bernoulli’s Principle just does not make sense, but before you can rationalize your thought process, it actually works and you begin climbing through the clouds. While the clouds engulf the airplane, the sudden turbulence forces you to actually believe that your doubts about lift force will prove to be correct this time and the laws of science will fail, but then you get above the clouds everything changes. Everything!

Crowder wrote about how he was actually disappointed that no one ever told him of the beauty that is present above the clouds. I love gazing across the horizon until I cannot see any further. Every time I fly and look out that window, it is as though it is the first time that I am experiencing the feeling I get while breathing in all of that beauty. I get a wonderful taste of the “awe factor” of God. I immediately identify with what the ancients simply called the heavens. It communicates old truths to my heart in a fresh way. Psalm 19:1-4 speaks of the heavens declaring God’s glory. Inevitably, I end up speechless as I recognize how big God is and how small I am.

At 36,000 feet, there are no words in our vocabulary to describe the scene. The sun set creates poetic and artistic imagery. I attempt to comprehend this awesome beauty of such radiant colors splashed across the sky, but my thoughts seem so lacking. Francis Chan says, “The many facets of God expand beyond our comprehension. He cannot be contained in this world, explained by our vocabulary or grasped by our understanding.” Amen!

You Must Try My Vinaigrette

Today is Isaiah's first birthday. We are hosting a small party for him that has a cute jungle theme. We are doing our best to prepare great food and snacks for our guests in anticipation of them bringing noisy, plastic toys that will surely be choking hazards.

I am very excited to see how Isaiah responds to all of the attention that he will be receiving today. I am also very excited to see how people respond to my "famous" vinaigrette. I prepared hamburgers, chicken and guacamole. In my family, my hamburgers are second-to-none as I throw in my special ingredients well in advance so they have optimum taste. They look like your average hamburger, but when you bite into them there is an explosion of flavor. The guacamole has also become a staple at family events. However, I have the most pleasure in today's meal from my vinaigrette.

It is actually quite simple. I start with whole peppercorns in a mortar and pestle and crush the pepper before adding sea salt. It is pleasantly fragrant and endorphins are released immediately following the addition of garlic to the salt and pepper. I usually pause and inhale the aroma from the simple concoction.

Following my work with the mortar and pestle, I pour olive oil into a glass jar. The quality of the extra virgin olive oil is extremely pivotal. I always use the highest quality olive oil. In my mind, I believe that I should never use olive oil in a recipe if I am not willing to drink the olive oil separately. I have never actually drank olive oil straight, though.

What makes it a vinaigrette is the vinegar. The choice of vinegar is very important. Champagne vinegar works very well, but lately I have taken it one step further by using special citrus champagne vinegar. This tops off the flavor of the vinaigrette because it provides some "zing" with the essence of lemon and the sparkle of champagne. It brings an interesting taste that is crisp, light and dry with a twist of lemon. It is this "secret" ingredient that leaves the consumer pleasantly puzzled by what they are experiencing inside their mouth.

Finally, I mix all of the ingredients together. The finished product should contain three times more olive oil than vinegar and you must whisk vigorously so it properly infuses all of the flavors. I will be using the vinaigrette on a carefully prepared spinach salad. The last time I made this salad I put fresh basil on top and it was fabulous.

I hope I am not putting too much pressure on the vinaigrette today, but I am very excited to hear the feedback. It works well as a marinade, too.

What Am I Writing About?

"The lie is that you need to know your voice as a writer before you write. The truth is you won't unless you write."

This quote came from the Twitter update on John Acuff's profile (prodigaljohn). He writes Stuff Christians Like, an amusing blog about life as a Christ follower. His personality as a writer was one of the final inspirations for me to begin my very own blog. I am still struggling to understand what topic(s) I would like to write about, but I was encouraged by what John wrote today. As a result, I will jump in and begin writing what is on my mind and see where it takes me. We'll see what happens...

Finally! My Own Blog

I finally did it. I finally created my own blog page. I have been writing blogs on various websites for a few years and have always wanted an avenue to freely speak my mind and express myself to the world. However, I have never taken the necessary steps to have that outlet. Today, I took the first step by setting up an account to actually have my own blog page.

I read various blogs for various reasons. I am interested in philosophical blogs about religion and my faith in Christ. I enjoy blogs about music and decoding cryptic meanings in song lyrics. I also follow many sports-related blogs on all of the major network websites as well as some obscure bloggers. I have read blogs about relationships and have recently been intrigued by others opinions about parenting as I am now a father.

At this point, I am very unclear as to the direction that I will take with this blog. I chose "Lend Me Your Imagination" as the title because I would like those who read my thoughts to do just that. I always read the opinions of others with an open mind and hope that you will be inclined to do the same.

I understand that it is imperative to designate a topic to blog about in order to acquire followers. Therefore, at this point, the topic(s) that I will discuss will be the intricacies of my mind. A journey into the playground of my brain, if you will. At some point my writings may become more focused, but as this time, I only plan and spewing my thoughts onto the keyboard.