Lend Me Your Imagination

Schultz International Memorial

2012-02-02T06:06:00.001-08:00

As I mentioned in my previous post, I'm in Colorado Springs at the Olympic Training Center for the Dave Schultz Memorial International. This event usually pits the top American athletes against each other and adds a few international stars. This year, athletes from Canada, Japan, Bulgaria and Italy highlight the foreign competition. Central American countries are usually represented, as well. The Schultz is one of three international tournaments held in the United States.

In February, my schedule is loaded with practices and tournaments. I cherish the opportunity to kick it off with an event of this caliber. Last weekend, I was a guest clinician at a youth tournament. I showed technique and shook hands with hundreds of 1st graders. This week, I get to sit in the corner of world medalist and shake hands with Olympic champions. In between these two events, I worked with athletes at the youth, middle school, high school and college levels. In less than a week, I have experienced every level of wrestling. This is a dream come true for a wrestling junkie like myself.

One of the major advantages that I have by being involved at every level is that it helps me to communicate more effectively with age group. First of all, I witness the difference in levels and how to put everything in proper perspective. Secondly, opportunities like this help me everywhere I go in this sport. Spending time with ten year old wrestlers give me an opportunity to learn much differently than does spending time with athletes in their twenties who have committed their life to training and competing. I can bring high level skills and techniques down to other age groups and I can bring the energy and fun of the young wrestlers up to the professionals.

No matter what age level I'm watching or working with, I always conclude that, left to its own, wrestling is inherently FUN. Those who are most passionate about enjoying themselves and the journey benefit the most from what wrestling offers. I hope I never lose sight of this.

The Dave Schultz International Memorial is named for one of America's greatest wrestling champions - Dave Schultz. He was a 3-time world and Olympic champion. He embodied many of the great qualities offered in wrestling. Until the day he passed away, he exuded passion and demonstrated that he loved what he was doing. For him, wrestling was, no doubt, fun.

"The Real National Champion"

2012-01-31T20:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel like my posts lean on the side of bashing the sport that I love. To be fair, I promote the positive side of wrestling throughout my daily endeavors. This blog serves as my outlet sometimes, though. And I need to vent.

I got on an airplane earlier today and headed to the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs for a wrestling tournament. After a few minutes into the flight, I pulled out the most recent issue of Wrestling USA. I feel obligated to subscribe to every wrestling publication because I'm wrestler and we support our own. I do my best to read what others across the nation have to say about our sport. Taking up eleven pages in the center of the magazine were the "December 2011 Youth Rankings!" (exclamation point is included in the page heading).

Here's the criteria: "World of Wrestling presents the Cliff Keen/Wrestling USA National Youth Rankings. These are based on national tournament results only, no bias or prejudice involved. If you wish to be ranked to accumulate the required points then your chance is in Tulsa, OK at the 57th Annual Tulsa Nationals."

I guess this is a valiant effort to be objective. But correct me if I'm way off base, but shouldn't there only be one national tournament and not a bunch to facilitate a rankings system? Whatever...moving on...they have a 6 & under age group starting at 37 pounds! Come on, seriously? This is ridiculous on so many levels that I don't have the energy to write about them. Does this really make sense and are these kinds of things going unnoticed in youth wrestling or in youth sports in general? How can a major publication endorse national rankings for a 37 pound kid under the age of 6?

Imagine the pressure on these young children for the rest of their athletic careers. Does a 6 year old who is already crowned "The Best of the Best" have much to look forward to? Is "The World Series of Wrestling" the pinnacle? "The Real National Champion" is a toddler, not Jordan Burroughs or Cael Sanderson? That's what it says in this magazine. I wonder how many of the athletes at the Olympic Training Center this week have held these titles and been on "The Ultimate Triple Crown" poster.

The irony is that at the beginning of the issue, the editor's letter explained the difficulty in ranking wrestlers at the high school level. With over 280,000 high school wrestlers last year, it's hard to create objective standards and keep in perspective that "not all states are created equal in the depth of competitive wrestlers." I agree. How much more difficult is it to rank children who need help putting on their wrestling shoes?

I don't think I have a point today. I just wanted to vent. I was excited to read the Wrestling USA magazine today and was left with yet another awful taste in my mouth because of direction of youth sports.

Does this make your skin crawl, too? Does anyone else see a problem with this?

Growth Allowance

2012-01-26T20:41:00.000-08:00

During the Wisconsin high school wrestling season, athletes are given a 2-pound weight allowance after Christmas. It’s a magnificent gift to athletes managing their weight. As a result, the weight class listed is effectively plus two pounds. For example, the 106 pound weight class becomes 108 pounds (athletes must weigh 108 pounds or less – 108.1 pounds is overweight). On February 1st, an additional pound is given (109) and for the teams that are fortunate enough to compete at the Team State tournament, they receive an additional pound on March 1st (110).

The WIAA calls this additional weight a “growth allowance.” The logic behind the decision for the extra weight is to promote healthy weight management, understanding teenage athletes continue to grow and mature throughout the season despite the accountability of wrestling at a specific and designated weight class. It sounds good in theory. In practice, it has become is an enticement to go down a weight class at the end of the season. If a wrestler can successfully make “scratch” weight at 113 pounds at the beginning of the season when his fitness level is not best, it becomes easy for him (or his coaches or parents) to justify making 109 pounds at the end of the season when he’s in better shape. Additionally, weigh-ins are further apart during tournament time because there are no events on weeknights (except Team Sectionals), so dropping a weight class is basically expected without even considering if it’s actually beneficial.

As athletes approach the end of the season and begin their “ascent” to their performance peak, the overall well-being of their body and mind are dependent upon their workload becoming lighter. Unfortunately, “dropping” a weight class has the potential to undermine that process by requiring an athlete to add volume to their workouts. This is counter-productive to the science of peak performance training. I trust that many coaches account for this dynamic, however, I see far too many athletes lose intensity as they lose more weight. Under-intensity often is the result of poor preparation (i.e., shabby weight control habits, nutrition, strength, etc.), lack of motivation (focus becomes making weight instead of wrestling) and fatigue (not reaping the benefits of tapering). It’s not always a mental toughness issue and the consequences can cause negative overall experiences in the sport.

Wrestling is marked by a few significant “black eyes.” Weight cutting is one of them. Individuals who admit they don’t understand wrestling in the slightest are often quick to associate the sport with stories about cutting weight. Wrestlers also grow to dislike the sport that has been so good to them because of their passionate hatred towards cutting weight. Shouldn’t it be the wrestling team, not the weight cutting team? This leads to an entirely separate topic; however, the “growth allowance” contributes to that conversation, too.

My position is that a “growth allowance” should be taken at its word and allow for growth instead of a license to cut more weight. I talked to an athlete today and he asked me what my opinion was on him dropping a weight class. My response was extremely vague because, in my experience, that is a loaded question. I asked him what HE wanted to do. He said that it’s not very hard making his current weight and he doesn’t have to cut much weight right now. I replayed his answer in my head over and over and find it strange that our wrestling culture has pressured him into believing that making weight should be “hard” and that he should be cutting more weight. His statement was laced with red flags and, truth be told, had very little to do WRESTLING.

Doing my own amateur research on this topic, I’ve actually found that “dropping” a weight class at the end of the season is NOT commonly beneficial when considering only post season outcomes. An overwhelming majority of athletes who win the high school state tournament compete at their weight class throughout the season. These statistics are easy to discover on Trackwrestling. Seldom does a wrestler who goes down a weight class for the Regional Tournament wrestle to his potential. In fact, many of them underperform. Don’t believe me? This February, take a look for yourself and believe what you see instead of holding on firmly to the status quo.

Picking up the pace on mental skills training

2012-01-21T09:32:00.000-08:00

The end of January is just around the corner and things will begin falling into place in the high school wrestling world. In Wisconsin, the tournament season begins with the conference tournament and is followed by the state tournament series. There is a tournament each of the four weekends in February that young athletes put their blood, sweat and tears into with their "eyes on the prize."

From the outside, this is a very exciting time for many. Behind the scenes, however, turmoil takes over in the lives of some prominent athletes. I spend more time discussing purpose, value and significance over the next month than I do breaking down technique and video. I cherish this role because I feel like I have the opportunity to really make a difference in the lives of young men. Certainly, it's nice that those talks help clear some space in their minds and hearts to achieve their dreams, however, what's more is that they become pivotal moments in their development as men. This is when we pick up the pace on mental skills training.

I'm never surprised by what I hear from teenagers in my office. The concerns and weight they carry varies drastically. Some are simply looking for a mental edge while others are looking for ways out of the pressure they feel. Some express their dislike for the sport and want to quit when it's time to reap what they have sown. Some are scared and don't know what to do next. Some are dealing with family dynamics that are less than desirable and it greatly affects their performance. It's all become par for the course in my role. Most of the time it is as simple as comparing our behind-the-scenes to the highlight reel of others. Sometimes it's more.

Those who confront their anxiety and fears while continuing to train mentally are able to do their best when all the chips are on the table. The athletes that bottle thing up and don't address them usually become a casualty at the hands of their own mind. Even the most novice fan can pinpoint the athlete who falls short of his potential and gets tagged with "it was all mental." I seek out those cases and enjoy helping turn it around.

I have four very difficult cases already and I'm eager to see positive changes in each of them. Many more will make that sheepish knock on my office door over the next few weeks ready to dump their issues in my lap. I'm ready for all of them. In some regard, I believe the attention to mental skills is our "secret weapon" this time of year. Every high school wrestler who walks up the stairs at Victory has already put the time in from a physical stand point and have many resources to maintain their physical prowess. For us, the volume and intensity in the mental skills increases exponentially. Only those close to our program fully grasp this and understand the importance. Outsiders think becoming a champion is all about singles and doubles or being in good physical condition, but that's an extremely small piece of the puzzle.

What separates the boys from the men has nothing to do with physical output or consumption as our sports culture and society believes. Boys become men when they can recognize and handle their emotions properly and accept responsibility. Manhood has nothing to do with the outcome. It's entirely about the process.

They're only boys

2012-01-16T08:50:00.000-08:00

Last week we started two new sessions at Victory. We've been entrenched in the lives of high school athletes since September and will continue to be through August. The beginning of January is when we get the ball rolling with younger athletes - middle school and youth.

The younger athletes are exciting for me. They're so vibrant and they bring a fresh energy to Victory at an optimal time. January can be a difficult month for high school wrestlers for a lot of reasons. Having the younger athletes around helps me maintain the positive energy needed to get some of the high school athletes through it. I also like working with middle school kids because they're "under the radar."

From a purely athletic standpoint, they're under the radar because many haven't accomplished the things they will when they get older. That's simple. They're also under the radar because of their potential to do great things as boys. Our culture usually writes off boys and girls because they're young, however, I believe there are great things in store from them simply because they're young.

We do our best to meet the athletes where they are and speak their language so they can understand what we're trying to build into them. We strive to give them tools to increase the likelihood of them achieving their athletic goals. We also speak life into them and speak directly to their potential as young men. This is where it gets the most exciting. Grades 6-8 are prime time for defining moments. These will shape the rest of their existence. They walk through the doors already on the hunt for wisdom and life lessons that resonate with them. I know because I have indelible memories from that age that affect my daily life today. I flood them with quotes, nuggets of truth and pieces of wisdom in hopes that I can deposit something in them so they will never be the same.

Additionally, I believe these young men are uniquely positioned to have giant-sized impact on those around them. I believe it because the Bible uses youngsters to make a difference frequently. Luke mentions that at age 12, "Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and favor with God and men" (Luke 2:52). This is a very clear objective for us to follow with these middle school boys. To empower these young men to do great things, this week we will cling to 1 Timothy 4:12, "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

I'm also reminded of the only miracle recorded in all four Gospels - Jesus feeding 5,000. In this story, according to John, one of the main characters is "a boy with five small barley loaves and two fish" (John 6:10). Through the resources of a boy, Jesus was able to impact over 5,000 people. This is quite profound if you think about the boy. The disciples initiated a conversation with Jesus that the large group was very hungry. Andrew pointed out a boy with some food. What's amazing to me is that this boy is the only person in the entire group who didn't need a miracle at that time. He had all of the food he needed. He was set. Then a couple of old guys with beards approached him and his food. The Bible doesn't mention what type of conversation ensued, but it is clear that this boys food reached the hands of Jesus. Jesus used this boy to initiate one of the most impacting miracles of all time. And he was just a boy.

Some of the young athletes enrolled at Victory are looking for a "miracle" in their own life or need that defining moment to help them become the men they were created to be. Others, however, will be the miracle that God is intending to use in the lives of others. Either way, I believe God is going to move in the lives of these young athletes. And they're only boys.

Come as you are

2012-01-02T07:26:00.000-08:00

My brother was in town last week and asked to borrow our car. I told him he was welcome to it if he was willing to drop a vehicle off for Liz at work. He drove to the hospital and made the change. The only hitch was Liz didn't know he was coming.

She called to tell me she had given the keys to Tony, but would have liked to have known he was coming so she could have cleaned the car first. I assured her, "it was just Tony" and he's alright with seeing who we really are.

Liz's desire to tidy-up had pure intentions, of course, however, it also revealed one of our largest insecurities we have as human beings. We want to clean ourselves up before we present who we are to the world. Often times this is good. I like that people address basic hygienic needs before they leave their home. I'm not really interested in your bad breath, but I am genuinely interested in who you really are.

When it becomes most important, though, is when we try to clean up before we go to God. As if we're loaning someone our car, we take time to clean up our act before taking the steps to walk through the church doors. Or we adamantly try to stop doing this or that before we pick up the Bible or engage in a conversation with God. I often hear people describe that they need to adjust their lifestyle before they enter into a relationship with God. We're scared to come as we are. We want to present our best side because we know God deserves it, but it just prolongs getting to actually meet him because we actually can't clean ourselves up. To those if-then people: the IF never happens and the THEN never comes.

"But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" - Romans 5:8.

Read the verse again. Jesus knows where you are and what you're about, and he still chose to love you...while you were a sinner. Never did He say you need to clean up your act first. He's passionately pursuing you in your mess of a life, just as you are today, not what you want to become tomorrow. While we were yet sinners...

I find great comfort in knowing that Jesus loves me just the way I am. And I'm encouraged to know that he loves me too much to let me stay that way. He doesn't ask us to change on the outside before we go to him. He wants us to come as is and allow for Him to change us from the inside. He's available to everyone, no questions asked. You don't have to tidy-up first, take his word for it. He remains faithful (2 Timonty 2:13).

"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved." - Ephesians 2:1-5

Remembering 2011

2011-12-31T13:24:00.000-08:00

Soon we'll be watching the ball drop in Times Square and 2011 will be no more. At this stage of life, 365 days goes by quickly and I wouldn't be doing the last day of the year justice if I didn't take time to reflect on what has transpired over the past 12 months.

It goes without saying, but I'm going to say it anyways, I'm very blessed and fortunate to be in the position I am as a father, husband, brother, son, friend, business owner, coach, etc. So many wonderful things have happened this year. I've celebrated life more this year than ever before. There have been birthdays, births (11/11/11 - 11:11) and rebirths (1 Cor 5:17) all around.

I've experienced minor new things that have become a big part of my life, too, namely Apple, as in the iPad and iPhone. Yep, they're everything they're cracked up to be, even if the iPad is used mostly to watch "Gummi Bear Song." Netflix: another great thing. DVR - we've had it for six years, but just recently joined the crowd to record series. Why did I wait so long? Mini-Vans...recliners...nap time..free time...holy crap! I'm old!

Life has definitely been moving in fast forward all around me. I've done my best to take it all in and appreciate what is right in front of me. I remember I used to look forward to the next adventure or the next big thing, but now it seems like I'm frantically searching for the "pause" button as life happens. Unfortunately, we can't DVR the daily routine and re-live it or re-watch it whenever we want.

Of course, there are great things to look forward to in 2012, however, I don't want to get ahead of myself and miss out on the good stuff happening today. Heck, the boys are asleep right now and when they wake up in a few minutes, I'm sure I'll have yet another life changing experience. I love that. Why fast forward to tomorrow when I can submerse myself in today? I guess that's why I spent the afternoon at my sister's house and will be enjoying a movie and Whirly Pop tonight with Liz.

December 31, 2011 is what 2011 was all about for me (minus all of the politics, of course) - quality family time. Remembering 2011 is easy. All I have to do is look at my living room.

The Wife

2011-12-29T12:12:00.000-08:00

I had a short conversation with my brother yesterday about people in Northwest Wisconsin calling their wife "The Wife" or "The Old Lady" or any other nomenclature besides their actual name. Then today one of my favorite authors wrote about calling your wife "the bride" and he shared similar discontent with the idea.

Other terms I hear too often: the ball and chain, the old hag, the boss, etc.

It's most likely universal in thought, however, the titles used to label one's wife seem to vary across regions. Whenever someone asks me what "the wife" does or where she is, my skin crawls. They could rephrase by saying, "what does your wife do?" instead of "what does the wife do?" and it would make all the difference. Since it irritates me so much, I quickly snap back and say, "her name is Liz." They usually look at me confused, but yes, she does have a name. If you don't know her name, that's fine, but do not call her the anything.

The reason this bothers me so much is because I feel like it's a subconscious attempt to dehumanize the most important human being in my life: Liz. She's not a convenient label or below any man. She's an equal and she's unique and distinctive. Her name represents her. A convenient title assumes she's like "everyone" else or that all women or all wives are the same. They're not. As a result of my feeling this way, I take special notice to how other men treat and talk to their wife. I get a horrible feeling that this type of creating a label for their wife (or wives in general) is a sneaky way to disrespect them. I'm sure most people won't admit to that, though.

Be good for goodness sake

2011-12-26T15:12:00.000-08:00

This has been an interesting holiday season for me. Christmas came and went by very quickly. It seemed like yesterday we were trying to figure out what to eat for Thanksgiving dinner, and voila! Christmas was here and then gone.

Aside from how quickly the joyous time of year passed, my reflection of the glorious day is less than admirable. I was a victim to the commercialization of Christmas, and not by choice. Since I have children, there was pressure on all sides to make this holiday about one thing: Santa.

Is Santa coming to your house? What did you ask Santa to bring you for Christmas? Are you being good...for Santa?

We place very little emphasis on Santa in our home. There are many reasons for this parenting decision. I'm not the Grinch and I'm not trying to squelch the imagination of my children. Instead, we have intentionally decided to simply make Santa a part of Christmas - a small part, mind you - and not the central figure and/or focus. Somehow, our good intentions were thwarted by others insisting that Santa IS Christmas.

Together, Liz and I had been teaching our oldest son how to approach Christmas with a healthy perspective, however, he went to bed on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day night with very little appreciation for what he had received and he wasn't satisfied. It was an ugly side of him that we were both appalled by. It was almost like he had been told by everyone that he was entitled to an abundance of gifts because everyone told him he was. He was a brat. And I blame Santa.

We had been building up "Jesus' Birthday" for weeks and we were really excited to celebrate it with Him. We had the party, but unfortunately, it turned out that Jesus wasn't even invited. Santa was, though, and he took Jesus' seat. Not only was Jesus kicked out, but many of his unique qualities were bestowed upon the man with the white beard - figuratively and literally - omnipotent, omnipresent, all-knowing, etc. When Jesus was born over 2,000 years ago, there was no room for him. It seems like things haven't changed.

Santa is watching you. You better be good or Santa won't come.

What ever happened to be good for goodness sake? That's what the Santa anthem says. That message wasn't communicated to my kids. They were told to be good or Santa wouldn't come. It was a bribe. In the end, Santa didn't come anyways. Isaiah didn't want him to. As he was falling asleep, he asked for Mommy and Daddy to come into his room. He insisted that we call Santa and tell him not to come because he was afraid of the idea of someone coming into our house while he was sleeping. I can't blame him. I don't want him around, either.

What's the deal with medals and trophies?

2011-12-22T11:30:00.000-08:00

I've often heard parents and young athletes talk about the size of the medal or trophy at a tournament as a measuring stick for the quality of the event. I'm adamantly opposed to large trophies and gaudy rewards for many reasons that are not the topic of this post. Nonetheless, these awards seem to be a driving force in the lives of many young athletes (and parents). Does it really matter how the kid gets the medal or trophy?

There are a lot of answers to this straight forward question. Many would say, "of course it matters, they need to earn it." Others claim participation is worth something and it's the carrot that gets them away from video games and promotes healthy competition and activity. Still, some believe that the trophy, and the size, is the be-all, end-all to the experience.

Dan Gable told me that he believes kids should receive bananas at tournaments because after one week, the banana gets old and it's time to get a new one. No one wants a rotten banana on their mantel. By the way, I've seen Gable's mantle and there are no bananas. There is an Olympic Gold Medal, though.

The reason I'm bringing up this subject is because I saw something in my 3-year old son that I wasn't aware of as a critic of the overabundance of medals and trophies. It's nothing that is going to force others to say, "see, I told you so, when your own have kids..." (I hear that too often). It actually solidifies my conviction on this subject. Isaiah was digging around at Victory and found a gold medal at the bottom of a drawer. It was left over from an event that I held four years ago. It didn't matter to him. He loved this "new" gold medal. He wore it the entire day and even took his afternoon nap with it. I hear parents and see forum posts explain the importance of these awards by describing how their kid sleeps with his/her trophy after an event because it means so much to him. And it does.

Reality check: why not just buy your son or daughter a medal or trophy? My son got to enjoy his gold medal and then, after a while, the newness wore off and now it's sitting on the steps. Isn't this the final destination for all trophies and medals? Eventually they get old and less exciting. Sure, some of them have a deeper meaning and great value (like Gable's Olympic gold medal), but they get old just like bananas. Is the trophy-looking carrot really what's best for children. Must they compete in events to "earn" or receive a medal?

I had no shame in letting my son parade around the house with his medal even though he didn't earn it. I'm glad I have this renewed perspective. I actually don't have to take my kids to a youth wrestling tournament, surrounded by chaos and confusion, for him to have this experience. It can be this simple. Kids crave the trophy, but many of them aren't interested in the competition they must endure before receiving it. It's a tricky marketing scheme to get them in the door to feed the youth sports system. The parents don't need convincing, do they? But the children do. They'll participate just for the medal or trophy. Event organizers are well aware of this and promote it.

So, what's the deal with medals and trophies? Are they essential to long term development? When Target or ShopKo start carrying gold medals, it could be the end of youth tournaments. I haven't decided if that would be a good or bad thing.

De-training

2011-12-12T16:01:00.000-08:00

One of the largest differences in youth sports today compared to ten years ago or longer is the opportunity to train. There are options for more practice, greater intensity, specialization, advance techniques from highly educated and experienced coaches, awareness and understanding of scientific approaches to athletics and much more. When used correctly, these opportunities can be extremely beneficial. One particular area in the advanced training of athletes that doesn't receive enough attention is the recovery phrase, but more particularly, the "de-training" period.

Rest periods are essential to successful training cycles. One doesn't over-train as much as under recover. Recovery has many layers and is often times the secret weapon to success in a culture that pushes to the extremes. Preparing the body, mind and soul for the recovery phase is a key to getting the most out of it.

De-training is the two or three day time frame (or more) that immediately follows a large competition or the conclusion of a peak performance plan. It takes into account the heavy workload and intensity of a competition and helps you prepare for the recovery phase. It includes a variety of de-programming activities that assure the athlete adequately recovers.

Athletes can come out of a recovery phase without experiencing any kind of recovery. When dealing with the Total Athlete, all three facets must be adequately recharged (body, mind and soul). American athletes complete a cycle or finish a large competition and immediately take time off or "rest." Most of the time, their break has very little foresight. A typical scenario is an athlete competes on Saturday and then stays up late, ingests what has been forbidden for a period of time, sleeps in and catches up on the social activities that were missed while preparing. It makes sense and seems natural because the hard work is done. There is validity to this, however, it's not always the most productive avenue for recovery. Simply because the "hard" work is done doesn't give the athlete a license to ignore the "easy" work. Many of those things that were missed during the hard work can still be enjoyed, but proper preparation should be utilized here, too.

A lot of attention is placed on getting the athlete to peak while very little is placed on getting the most out of the recovery phase. Getting the most from each rest period or recovery phase will enable the next peak to be higher.

The truth about Tebow

2011-12-05T12:03:00.000-08:00

I heard an interesting observation of Tim Tebow the week leading into his first start this year. The analysts said, "Tim Tebow is everything his fans say he is and everything his critics say he is." It was an interesting comment at the time. One to which I agreed with. However, I think it's time his critics are confronted. The critique of those naysayers revolved around the idea that he couldn't win in the NFL as a starting quarterback. They're wrong.

As a starting quarterback in the NFL this season, Tebow is 6-1 and has successfully brought an awful team out of the cellar into first place in their division. Now, they're on the verge of making the playoffs. Still, the pundits are claiming he can't play, he can't throw, he can't read defenses, he doesn't know how to play the position, and his defense is carrying the team. These are all things people are saying in an attempt to continually cut Tebow down. I watched the Broncos against the Packers in week 4 and then yesterday against the Vikings. News flash: their defense is not very good. I also witnessed, with my own eyes, Tebow hit a few wide open receivers down field and win a football game with his arm. I didn't read about it, I saw it. It was in the same game that the opposing quarterback - who also happens to be a first year starter drafted in the first round - missed some very important passes and threw a bone headed interception in the closing minutes of the game, two things Tebow has not done as a starter. Yet, he gets raked over the coals and they spare the Vikings starter who "had a record day" and is 1-5 as a starter.

This week tells it all. He improves to 6-1, the Vikings future star drops to 1-5. He has a game winning drive after his opponent throws a game deciding interception and Tebow gets criticized. His defense gave up 32 points this week. Why doesn't he get a few kudos for this victory? The truth is, people don't like Tebow because he's a Christian. That's it.

Jake Plummer recently made a comment about how he wished Tebow would just quit talking about his faith in Jesus Christ. This argument is really starting to bother me. I follow football very closely and I have yet to hear Tebow talk about Jesus when the topic is football. Others talk about it around him and to him, but he's a football player. His post game interviews are about football, not Jesus. Plummer and the others are simply making this stuff up. Of course, he prays or points to the sky after a touchdown, but so does Greg Jennings and probably 100 other players, including a handful of quarterbacks. He's a Christian and everyone knows it, but he's not proclaiming it nearly as much as the media says he is.

Before this week, I thought a lot of the negative remarks and criticism were because Tebow is unconventional and unorthodox. He's not traditional and analysts are more comfortable with things they've already seen and things they can predict. They haven't seen the likes of Tebow and he's difficult to predict. That's an awful combination for journalists who are trying predetermine the winner. After this week, however, I now understand it no longer has anything to do with football. In fact, I'm not sure if it ever did.

He's an easy target for these vultures because no matter how much ridicule there is about him, he takes it and continues to play football. He doesn't fight back, so their drivel has no recourse. This must drive Boomer Esiason and others absolutely crazy. It's like he completely ignores them and goes out and proves them wrong. He continues to win in spite of their assurance that he won't. For them, it would be much easier if he lashed back, told them to shut up or tried to stick up for himself, but he doesn't, and they despise him even more because he continues to prove that he's better than them. He wants to play football, and he is.

I don't think Tim Tebow should win the NFL MVP and I think he has a lot of things that he needs to work on as a quarterback. He would agree, and has stated that he needs to improve. However, he's winning football games and has led a team from worst to first in a matter of weeks. Any argument that says he's not a good NFL quarterback is outlandishly ignorant, naive and ridiculous. Mechanically and technically, he's not Joe Montana. No one claims he is. In Montana's second season in the NFL, by the way, he was 2-5 as a starter with 15 touchdown and 9 interceptions. Peyton Manning was 3-13 in his first year as a starter and had more interceptions than touchdowns (26-28). John Elway, his boss, was 4-6 and threw twice as many interceptions as touchdowns (7-14). Come on, people, the kid can play. He is 6-1 and has a 10-1 touchdown-to-interception ratio.

If you don't like Tebow because he's a positive role model (for kids and adults), is a humanitarian, doesn't get in trouble, demonstrates great sportsmanship, works hard, etc., then come out and lead your critique with those statements. Otherwise, hold the rest of the NFL's young quarterbacks to the same standard (e.g. Christian Ponder, Tyler Palko, Blaine Gabbert, Curtis Painter, Sam Bradford, Colt McCoy, etc.) and don't tell me how the NFL needs better people representing the sport than the Ben Roethlisbergers or Ndamakung Suhs who make poor decisions. The truth is, Tebow wins. The truth is, he's a great man. The truth is, people don't like him because of it. And they don't like him because he's a Christian.

Burn the ships

2011-11-30T12:18:00.000-08:00

One of the most important mental skills I work into the lives of athletes is eliminating the "back door." When push comes to shove, athletes who have given themselves a way out (back door), will take it. It's human nature - the path of least resistance. There are exceptional athletes who choose the path of most resistance in anticipation of growing and developing. Even still, if there's a back door option, inevitably, it will be taken at some point. How does one combat that notion? By leaving no option other than progress and success.

There is a popular urban legend about Spanish conquistador Hernan Cortes that explains how he instructed his people to "burn the ships." There is little historical evidence to support that this actually took place, however, there is a great lesson that can be applied to our lives. The legend suggests that the only option left for Cortes and his people was to succeed.

In 1519, Cortes directed his 500-puls Spanish troops to burn their ships and everything on them before the siege of the Yucatan Peninsula in present-day Mexico. He was explicitly confident that they would win and take their enemies' vessels as prizes. If they were to return home, they needed to acquire new ships. He left no option for failure. He eliminated the possibility of running back to their own ships to flee difficult situations. There was no "back door." It was literally a win or die scenario.

One of the first steps in creating the ideal situation for success is to metaphorically burn the ships, or take away the option of backing out. When the pressure is heating up, many athletes begin addressing and focusing on small inconveniences, injuries and other issues. This generally happens when one cannot see themselves having the success they desire, so they create a way out to cope with the lack of success that they're now assuring for themselves. Before going for it, if our mind tells us it's because of a bad ankle, it's easier to justify not stretching for it. It's simply an out - a back door - and even the most talented and gifted athletes will take it if the option is in their mind.

Burn the ships! Rid your mind of the excuses you're stock piling for the future. Simply by creating space in your mind for them, you're essentially guaranteeing that you will use them. Eliminate them all together. Leave no option other than progress and success, as if your life depends on it.

Why is practice important?

2011-11-22T05:54:00.000-08:00

Why is practice important? This is a very straight forward question that a coaching friend of mine asked me the other day. To be honest, though, I had difficulty coming up with a straight forward answer. Of course, I have an objective in each and every practice that is in line with a 3-4 month cycle and is a part of a bigger plan. I implement a variety of assessment techniques to be sure the objective is being met and I use a variety of age-appropriate teaching and learning activities, address the "big picture" and try my best to reach various learning styles. I put a lot of time and effort into making practice work, however, I surprised myself that I didn't have an immediate, straight forward answer to why practice is important.

Practice is important for many reasons. If wrestling is a tool to teach life skills, then practice is a wonderful opportunity to implement strategies that allow for individual growth. Being able to critically analyze situations, celebrate experimentation, handle adversity, take responsibility for actions and decisions are all motives. Speaking strictly of the physical side of the sport, it's imperative that there is at least incremental improvement (or more) in every single practice. Individuals should become better wrestlers. Developing mental skills are equally as important. Acquiring a love for the sport, practice and training are other great things to focus on. There are many answers to this question and most of them are valid. Each is unique to the needs of the individuals (coaches, parents, athletes, etc.) as well as to the culture of the club, team or system that they're in.

What is the answer to this question, though? Why is practice important? Below are two stories to consider when thinking about your answer. This is an important conversation.

I see a lot of young children choose to walk away from the sport of wrestling because they don’t like it. This is acceptable and understandable, not everyone likes the same things. Wrestling isn’t for everyone...or, is it? Most young children engage is some type of wrestling behavior or playful combat as infants. For those who have the physical capacity, it seems to be natural and fun. When presented with the option, many children decide to give wrestling a try because they already like doing it with Dad, their brother/sister, or their dog on the living room floor. Unfortunately, when they get to practice for the first time, it’s not what they expected and nothing like what they have experienced. Instead, they’re taught a series of drills and skills that aren’t interesting to them and often times aren't physiologically possible at their age (many of them cannot even put their wrestling shoes on by themselves yet). In my experience, the first practice is usually focused on stance/motion or general basic skills.

I took notice one night after attending a youth wrestling practice and a mother asked her first grade son if he had fun. Sadly, he said, “no…we never even wrestled.” It was true. He had been wrestling with his stuffed animals since he was two years old and when he finally got to attend a wrestling practice, he was forced to learn shoulder-knee-toe alignment and lateral motion. This little guy never came back. Why? Because he went to wrestling practice and never got to wrestle. The coach spent time teaching the youngsters how to wrestle instead of allowing them to actually do it.

Why is practice important?

The University of Wisconsin won the NCAA Championship in men's cross country last week. The Badgers are a perennial powerhouse in cross country, regularly finishing in the top 5 in the NCAA and winning 13-consecutive Big Ten titles.

Here are some comments from head coach Mick Byrne as he prepared to lead the Badgers in pursuit of the title:

"Well, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, that part of what I teach is you’ve got to get out there every day and be passionate about what you do. Ultimately, yes, we’d love to win the national title and we’re going after it. We’re as committed to doing that as any other program. But I’ve always said that you have to enjoy the pursuit.

"I think next Tuesday, you ask these guys did they have fun together this year, did they get after it, is there anything they would change, and I think you’d be surprised what they’ll say. And I think that’s what it’s about. It’s about the pursuit of that goal, enjoying the day-to-day hard work.

"When you look back, July 1, when these guys started, just coming off an outdoor season in preparation for this -- it’s very easy for us right now today and look forward seven days down the road, as we get so close to this competition -- but put yourself in their shoes, go back to July 1 when they’re four and five months out from the competition. Everything that they put into this, that’s what I’m about, that’s what this team is about. Enjoy the daily pursuit of what you’re doing. Because then, ultimately, you will enjoy the goal, whether it’s first place, second place, third place, fourth place.

"Yes, there’s tremendous history here. It’s the reason I came here. I’m aware of that. The kids are aware of that. It’s the reason they’re Badgers. But ultimately, at the end of the day, you’ve got to enjoy what you do."

Why is practice important?

Too much too soon, part 4

2011-11-10T21:55:00.000-08:00

Looking at very critical and identifiable elite performance results was one of the reason USA Hockey investigated the youth hockey scene. The results at the top weren’t matching the opportunities at the bottom. Elite performance reflects the direction of the youth culture, especially in grassroots organizations.

Over the past four Olympic Games in wrestling, the performance levels have steadily declined. Looking only at the medals won by male athletes (freestyle and Greco-Roman), the United States medal count is as follows: 1996 – 8; 2000 – 7; 2004 – 4; 2008 – 2. There were 20 medal opportunities in 1996, 18 in 2000, and 14 in 2004 and 2008. The won U.S. medals at 40%, 39%, 29%, 15% of the weight classes, respectively.

Considering the past four world championships prior to this year, this is the medal count: 2006 – 7; 2007 – 4; 2009 – 3; 2010 – 0. The U.S. did add two medals in the 2011 World Championships, however, there is an obvious downward trend.

The United States is definitely one of the largest populated wrestling country in the world. Nationwide, there are over 155,000 members in USA Wrestling and over 270,000 participating in high school wrestling. We have a robust talent pool young athletes, however, our results at the highest levels don’t indicate that we’re developing them very well.

USA Gymnastics has done something similar to USA Hockey in terms of athlete development and they have shown a sizeable increase in Olympic medals for the men over the past three Olympic Games. They went from 1 medal in 2000, to 8 in 2004, and 11 in 2008. When long term development is applied correctly, it should lead to elite level success because of our large number of youth athletes. Keep in mind, the majority of athletes currently representing the United States at the elite levels grew up in the sports culture of that encouraged more competitions for youth wrestlers and they’re not performing at the highest levels. Wrestling is going in the opposite direction of gymnastics and hockey.

Two years ago, USA Wrestling developed a new program called the U.S. Future Olympian Rankings. “The program is designed to recognize the performance of America’s most talented wrestlers, based upon actual results in major USA Wrestling events.” Specific national and regional events in Freestyle, Greco-Roman, and Folkstyle wrestling are used to score points for athletes between the ages of eight and thirteen. This is the same demographic that USA Hockey targets with the ADM because it is the optimal window of trainability and the greatest loss of retention. Hockey decided to eliminate various competitions while wrestling has added more. With the U.S. Future Olympian Rankings, it is implied to athletes, coaches and parents that the path to becoming an Olympian is by competing in more age level national tournament. Furthermore, there is a large contingent of parents within the wrestling community that want even more events. To meet consumer demands, NUWAY now offers a 6 & under division at their National Championships. Is it possible that wrestling’s approach is part of the problem?

We’re creating more opportunities to facilitate the more is better attitude and at the same time, the performance of our elite levels is declining? Is this a coincidence or are the two related? Is it time for wrestling to consider the benefits of Long Term Athlete Development?

Too much too soon, part 3

2011-11-09T21:06:00.000-08:00

I’m glad to see that this topic is generating discussion. I’m not as interested in being “right” in this conversation as I am that it is actually happening. I’ve challenged the status quo my entire life and when I take a stance on something, I expect opposition for a multitude of reasons. I’ve learned that when people oppose my viewpoint, and they’re convicted one way or the other, the focus on the conversation is then shifted towards items that aren’t quantifiable. Why? Because arguing on a feeling or emotion cannot be backed up or refuted. What I am trying to do is point out that there is research done by many more experts than me, and they are revealing that there is a better way.

Wrestling people are afraid of science because it doesn’t reinforce what they already think. No one wants to be told that they’re thoughts are contrary to evidence. Too much too soon is contrary to scientific evidence. The system encourages more competition at a young age than it does at an elite level. This actually doesn’t have anything to do with parents’ choices. It’s a failure in the system.

I took a fairly ardent stance and included some bold comments, so I’m not surprised that several people took the time to post a reply in a less-than-supportive manner. Parents don’t like being talked at, even if the best wrestlers and experts are on my side. So, the communication style and process is critical if changes are going to take place. I understand that parents are simply concerned and need to be spoken to delicately, positively and supportively and the hard line approach isn’t always productive. Having said that, this is my blog and my opinion doesn’t necessarily need to foster these parents.

In determining what I believe is best for youth athletes; I’ve considered many scientific studies and resources. Of course, I have an abundance of anecdotal evidence to support the claim that our system is indeed backwards; however, the science seems to hold more weight at this point in the conversation.

Istvan Banyi has developed a world-wide accepted athletic development model that he refers to as Long Term Athlete Development. It has served as the primary tool used to identify major gaps in the current sports system. Here is a quick snapshot from another publication to what this means:

Scientific research has concluded that it takes eight to twelve years of training for a talented athlete to reach elite levels (Bloom 1985; Ericsson et al. 1993; Ericsson and Charness 1994). This is called the ten-year or 10,000 hour rule. For athletes, coaches and parents, this translates to slightly more than three hours of practice daily for ten years (Salmela 1998). Unfortunately, parents and coaches in many sports still approach training with an attitude best characterized as the “peaking by Friday” approach (Balyi and Hamilton 1999). For example, as soon as many coaches start to train athletes, they train them to win. We now know that a long-term commitment to training is required to produce elite athletes in all sports, something that needs to be communicated to and understood by parents, coaches, sports administrators, organizations, etc.

Ultimately, success comes from training and performing well over the long-term rather than winning in the short-term. There is no shortcut to success in athletic preparation. Rushing competition will always result in shortcoming in physical, technical, tactical and mental abilities.

In principle, sports can be classified as either “early specialization” or “late specialization” (Balyi and Hamilton 1999). Early specialization refers to the fact that some sports, such as gymnastics, rhythmic gymnastics, figure skating, diving and table tennis require early sport-specific specialization training. Late specialization sports, such as track & field, combative sports (wrestling), rowing and all team sports, require a generalized approach to early training. In these sports, the emphasis of training should be on the development of general, fundamental motor and technical/tactical skill.

Understanding Long Term Athlete Development has encouraged USA Hockey to initiate the first step in steering the ship in the right direction with the American Development Model (ADM). Since my journalistic integrity has inappropriately been questioned in regards to this program, it’s important to clarify my reference here. Injury reduction may be a by-product of the ADM; however, it’s not the starting point. The poster may have confused the ADM and the removal of checking from PeeWee hockey.

The foundation for the development of the ADM was the result of the following:

1.) Recognizing from a retention standpoint that hockey was losing players at a relatively early age. 43% of players dropped out by age 9 and 60% dropped out by age 11-12. This obviously impacts the membership size and player pool at the older age groups.

2.) Identifying that USA Hockey programs were too focused on the outcome (winning) rather than the process (optimal training and development).

3.) Gaining an increased base of knowledge in sports science that USA Hockey was underutilizing critical and sensitive periods of accelerated adaptation to training. For example, not developing athletes at the most important ages. This is referred to as windows of trainability (8-13 years old).

4.) Looking at very critical and identifiable elite performance results. The USA is easily the largest populated hockey country in the world and a close second in terms of hockey participation (Canada) and yet our results at the highest levels of the game are far lower than countries like Sweden, Finland, Czech Republic, and Russia (all of which have less than 1/5 to 1/8 the number of registered players the U.S. has and overall populations that are not even in the same realm as the U.S.).

Why the ADM?

For starters, many athletes spend too much time traveling, competingh and recovering from competition and not enough time preparing for it. Second, there is too heavy a focus on the result rather than the performance. This attitude leads to long-term failure, as coaches forgo the development of skills to focus on specific game tactics. And third, too many athletes are specializing too early on. An early focus on just one or two sports often leads to injuries, burnout and capping athletic potential. This way of thinking has led to 60% of players dropping out before PeeWees and 20% dropping out after only one season leading to an overall decline in retention since 2000.

The ADM is successful because kids are having fun and parents can see that first-hand. It has lowered cost and commitment barriers (i.e. less expensive to play and not asking parents at young ages to commit to 15 hours a week and full weekends to get their kids better). It is also difficult for parents, coaches and others to argue with the statistics and sports science that USA Hockey has at their finger tips to support their position. One cannot argue with a parent as to which is the right way to raise their child, but one can refute any parent that tries to argue optimal periods of trainability, loss rates at ages 9-12, etc.

This brings me to my sport. In 1990, there were 233,856 high school wrestlers. In 2008, there were 259,688 high school wrestlers (numbers compiled by the NWCA). On the surface, that’s great, as participation grew by 11%. But looking closer, the high school student population in 1990 was 12.5 million and in 2008 it was 16.3 million (30% growth). The percentage of wrestlers in high school went from 1.87% to 1.59%. Though that might not look significant, that’s a 15% decrease in participation of the student body – that’s a big deal. Why? Because participation in high school athletics if extremely important. Consider the National Federation of High School’s Case for High School Activities to see how vital participation in high school athletics is.

We all agree that wrestling presents the opportunity to develop life skills, yet we are witnessing a decrease in how many people are wrestling. Why? Because the system is broken.

Too much too soon, part 2

2011-11-08T04:33:00.001-08:00

My oldest son has hypotonia (low muscle tone). It affects everything he does physically. Recognizing hypotonia is relatively straightforward, but diagnosing the underlying cause can be difficult and often unsuccessful, as we've experienced. The long-term effects of hypotonia on a child's development and later life depend primarily on the severity of the muscle weakness and the nature of the cause. When we took our son to his one-year doctor, he was far behind other children. He never did crawl and struggles daily to "keep up" with kids his age in everything that requires gross motor skills. When we went to his one-year check-up, it was the responsibility of the doctor to bring hypotonia to our attention and explain the potential long term effect. After all, she is the expert in regards to my son's health, right? It goes without saying that I want what is best for my son. However, that doesn't preclude that I know what is best. I did everything in my capacity to get him to walk by 10 months like other parents. I had the best of intentions, but it took an expert to tell me that something was not right.

As a competitor in the sport of wrestling, I won the high school state tournament, earned a college scholarship, was sponsored by a club and even made money and traveled the world. As a coach, I have been involved with every level from youth to senior athletes. I have been in the corner for little kids and Olympians. I have run practices at the Olympic Training Center on a Thursday and worked with kindergarten athletes at a local school on a Friday. I have gotten off the airplane from the World Championships, got in my car and arrived just in time to blow the whistle to start a high school practice. I've been employed by high schools, colleges and senior-level clubs and have operated camps for all ages. Additionally, I serve on a variety of prominent wrestling boards including USA Wrestling, Wisconsin Wrestling Federation, National Wrestling Coaches Association, Women's College Wrestling Association and others. Don't I have a responsibility to the wrestling community to share my insight on this topic? Does it make sense that I might have an idea on what the lasting impact youth sports has on our athletes?

No one accuses the Department of Public Instruction of telling parents how to parent. They determine the curriculum and State Standards based on the needs of children, not the desires of parents. Parents are still free to choose how to raise their children, however, standards don't change for them. No one thought to accuse my family doctor of judging me as a parent when she made a referral to the neurologist. Why do parents instantly take a defensive stance when someone suggests there's a better way than the current sports culture? Too many parents take this personally and refuse to see the big picture. Whether or not one has kids has no bearing on their ability or inability to devise programs that are best-suited for kids.

In my previous blog, I presented very clear evidence that our approach in youth sports is backwards. It's not an opinion; the system is broken. By pointing this out by no means assumes that I'm questioning parenting choices. If anything, I'm demonstrating that I identify with them. If we're trying to keep up with the Joneses, it's imperative that we find out where the Joneses are going.

We trust the "experts" when it comes to our health, but not when it comes to athletics? Do parents really know what is best simply because they want what is best? Who are the experts? I believe I have a responsibility to the parents to share what I see firsthand almost everyday. Supporting the current system by stating that we're doing what the kids want doesn't seem logical. Simply because a child wants to do more doesn't automatically make it acceptable. My kids want candy for dinner, so do I give it to them because they want it? Of course not. I know we're talking about two significantly different situations in child rearing, however, the premise for me deciding that candy is not a good option is because I'm interested in my children's long term health and development. Are we using the same paradigm when we choose to take advantage of athletic opportunities?

I'm passionately interested in what children have to say when I ask them the question, "why do you wrestle?" The answers I hear have become very predictable and they help me maintain a healthy perspective. I ask parents a version of the same questions, "why do you want your son/daughter to wrestle?" Sometimes I even ask them how they feel their son/daughter would answer the questions. I'm never surprised that many parents are on a different wavelength than their child.

I look into the eyes of many wrestlers and dig deeply to get to their core when asking why they do what they do. I want to know the individual's "purpose" in sport and life. I'm only moderately interested in his/her goals, yet many parents insist that they're doing "all of this" to help him reach his goals. I wonder if those who think we're not on the wrong path are actually listening to the hearts of the athletes - at all levels. Are we asking the right questions? Are the right people making the right choices?

I have an obligation to the sport of wrestling. And sometimes more is less. Parents deserve better. We shouldn't have non-experts making decisions about the direction and culture of sports.

"Plans are great. But missions are better. Missions survive when plans fail, and plans almost always fail." - Seth Godin

Too much too soon

2011-11-06T16:10:00.000-08:00

Is there a path that assures future success in sports? Many parents and coaches seem to believe that there is. They don’t have the expertise to determine on their own what the path is, so they have allowed the current sports culture to define it for them. Youth sports are telling parents that more is better. It resonates with them because they don’t want their kid to fall behind. It starts very early for parents. They measure their parenting by how quickly their sons and daughters crawl, talk and walk in comparison to others. If their child is behind, they do what they can make sure they catch the pack…then pass it. Youth sports attacks that soft spot in the hearts of parents and it corrupts them and the children suffer. Parents grab onto the notion presented by our current sports culture without carefully considering the future. Our organizations need to help parents to be more responsible with the path they choose.

USA Hockey has taken an extremely bold stance to change the culture of youth sports. They have unequivocally said that more is NOT better. Of course, they were instantly lambasted by an array of uneducated parents and coaches who had been drinking the Kool-Aid given to them by youth hockey. “More is definitely better,” they all thought. After all, they were just taking advantage of the opportunities USA Hockey was providing for them to develop future NHL stars. When the NHL finally jumped on board and supported USA Hockey, people started to listen. A few prominent professional hockey players were quoted saying that the typical youth hockey season is longer than the NHL season. Kids are playing more games than the professionals.

Parents have the dream of seeing their child play in the NHL, so they believe in the system that tells them they’ll arrive there soon enough. They don’t want their child to fall behind early in his career, so they embark on a sports journey, often times robbing him of his childhood and damaging important relationships, with the genuine hope that it will land him a roster spot on a NHL team. The problem is it’s not. It’s doing the exact opposite, unfortunately, and USA Hockey finally recognized it. They noticed that there has been a steady decline in American-born players in the NHL. They couldn’t put their finger on why until after extensive research, they concluded that the USA Hockey system was broken and kids were getting too much too soon. They eliminated the youngest age group national championships and parents lost their minds, but USA Hockey stood their ground, with the support of the NHL, and is trying to steer the ship in the right direction. Now, we need to get other sports to follow this trend.

Hockey is not alone. Nearly every sport has a youth system that has created a path to burnout. Too much too soon is certainly an issue in wrestling. Youth athletes are competing more than our highest level wrestlers. It’s not uncommon for a 5th grade wrestler to compete in over 100 matches in one season while our best senior-level wrestlers compete in 30 or less. We have it all backwards.

A step in the right direction is to understand the importance of development, not competition, at a young age. Youth athletes need to learn how to play the game before they actually engage in competition. I have adopted a philosophy for my club that requires youth wrestlers to have more practices than competitive matches in one season. This helps place the emphasis on learning the sport and all it has to offer and not on competition. The amount of competitions, which is far greater than the quality of practice time, is the catalyst to burnout.

When considering the guidelines that are in place at the high school and collegiate levels, you will see the backwards trend. The Wisconsin Interscholastic Athletic Association (WIAA) places limits on the high school wrestling season. According to their rules, the 2011-12 wrestling season may begin on November 13 (beginning of Week 20) and end on March 3 (end of Week 35). This makes the season 111 actual days long. The WIAA mandates a day off every six consecutive days, or a minimum 16 days without practice or competition this year. Taking into account the 14 allowed competition dates and 5 postseason tournaments; teams are left with 75 days to practice. Obviously, in high school teams typically don’t practice on weekends or holidays like Christmas or Thanksgiving, nor do they practice on certain hunting days and other random ones. The typical high school team practices around 65 times during a season. The top wrestlers are getting no less than 50 competitive matches under these guidelines.

Move into the NCAA Division 1 wrestling arena and guidelines permit a team to begin practice on October 10 (preseason) and conclude at the NCAA Championships on March 17th, or 162 days. They required team to take off one day, competition or practice, every calendar week (23 days). Take away the 16 competition dates and the post season tournament series and that leaves approximately 118 days. Teams cannot practice during finals week (7 days) or holidays (3 days). Then with random days off on weekends and training breaks, we’re looking at around 100 practices in a season. The top wrestlers have 30-40 competitive matches.

There are no regulations for younger athletes, but you can already see a trend with the two age levels mentioned above. Across the board, the average youth wrestling club begins in January and ends in March. Many youth athletes are practicing and competing far beyond the parameters set within their own community. If the average program is 13 weeks and practices are held two times per week most wrestlers’ competitive opportunities far out-weighs their practice time. In the Wisconsin Wrestling Federation tournament series alone, top athletes are competing in at least 20 competitive matches in the month of March. This doesn’t include the abundance of local youth tournaments that are offered on Saturday and Sunday every weekend during the season. It’s extremely difficult for young athletes to find enough opportunities to practice to keep up with the number of competitive matches they have.

The system is broken. The number of practices compared to competitive matches at the highest level (senior-level) heavily favors practices whereas the lowest level (youth) heavily favors competitive matches. In between, the trend is clear as the high school athlete sees 65 practices to 50 matches and collegiate athletes see 100 practices to 35 matches. It’s time to wake-up to reality because the athletes (and parents) who follow the ways of the youth sports culture are not around long enough to enjoy opportunities at the highest levels because they’re taking the opportunities offered at the lowest levels.

The Art of Choosing

2011-11-04T08:26:00.000-07:00

The ability to make choices is one of the most powerful qualities of a human being. We like the idea of choice because it empowers us. The choices we make, big and small, are critical to who we become. We’re in a position to make choices; however, it’s the choices that inevitably make us.

Making choices well and being able to make the correct choices is a skill that must be learned. Parents teach their children – directly and indirectly – how to make choices. Teachers, coaches, community members, spiritual leaders, television and many other factors contribute to the development of making choices.

In the United States, we love our choices. We have 500 channels on our television and over 10-pages in our menu booklet at Perkins. If you’re looking for a car, you can have the same one in five different colors. We have so many choices, in fact, that we have difficulty making them. If we don’t know how to make choices, our decision making process is foggy, at best. We have a greater responsibility in our country to teach individuals how to make choices because we value independence more than any other country in the world.

Of course, we make trivial choices, like the choosing between Coke and Pepsi, every day. We also make small choices that have the potential to turn into monumental decisions that can change the course of our lives and impact the world as we know it. And, obviously, there are big time decisions that are set before us and our choice carries a tremendous amount of weight and pressure.

Sheena Iyengar has been involved in a fantastic research project that explains more clearly how we make choices. She has written a book entitled The Art of Choosing and is featured on YouTube and TED Talks sharing her groundbreaking insights. I suggest you take time to hear what she has to say. What I found most interesting from a scientific viewpoint is that our brains cannot handle more than seven choices at the same time. Often times, even that’s too much for me.

Iyengar encourages individuals to determine what they want or need before they present themselves with a choice. I can relate to this: every time I went to the movie store undecided, it took me a very long time to actually choose a title. First, I had to narrow down a genre, then a style, then an actor or actress, then consider my mood and so-on. When I knew what I wanted, it was easy to walk into the store and choose the title. This makes sense when we pick out a movie, but how about when we choose a lifestyle or belief system or philosophy. Are we considering what we want or need before we present ourselves with choices? No. We actually don’t. Instead, we allow those choices to push us around and sway our decisions without considering ourselves first.

Here’s Iyengar secret: sit down and determine the five things you cannot live without. Having clarity about what is most important and what you prioritize will help you make the correct choices.

The Prodigy in Me

2011-11-01T12:11:00.000-07:00

The thought that there’s a prodigy in each of us is very encouraging and empowering. And it’s true. Everyone is created with uniqueness and distinction to be great. We’re all prodigies. There’s a prodigy in me. There’s a prodigy in you. There is only one you that will ever live, so you have a responsibility to mankind to be that person you were created to be. We all have a purpose. This makes each of us extremely valuable.

I recently listened to a series entitled “The Prodigy in Me” from Elevation Church. It was a powerful series and very instrumental in the life of one of my athletes during an important moment. I’ve returned a number of times to portions of those sermons to be encouraged and reminded of this simple, yet bold, truth. There’s a prodigy in me, but it’s not about me.

I paraphrased a few memorable comments from the series below:

Prod-i-gy (noun) – a person, or especially a child or young person, having extraordinary talent or ability.

Isn’t it interesting that the dictionary singles out young people in this definition? We don’t have to convince our 7-year olds that they are creative. They just create. And then life and dumb people, and negligent parents and bad friends beat the prodigy out of you, but we’re all born with the image of God inside of us. Even if you don’t have a personal relationship with Christ, the Bible says that you are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26). And so sin fractures that image, sin distorts that image, but Christ came to reclaim that image and when he comes into your life he fills your life. So, the first definition of prodigy is extraordinary talent or ability.

A second definition is “a marvelous example” (usually followed by of). So, in our usage, a prodigy of God’s grace, or a prodigy of God’s mercy.

Number three: Something wonderful; a wonder. Number four: Something abnormal or monstrous. This definition is proof that, one way or another, we all fit the category (sarcasm). Number five (this is an archaic definition, but it’s worth mentioning): Something extraordinary regarded as of prophetic significance.

Say this out loud: “I’m a prodigy because God’s in me.” Come on, say it out loud.

I’m a prodigy because God’s in me. Now, that’s the key right there, because we don’t preach from the dictionary here; we preach from the Bible. A few more verses of scripture you should study if you want to learn about the gifts God has put inside of you, the potential, the calling that he’s put on your life, you can study the following:

Ephesians 4:7-8, where the Apostle Paul tells us, “but to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.” Now, if it’s been given that means it’s a gift. And if it’s a gift, that means I can’t take credit for it. One thing that really trips me out is when someone is really good at something and they think that it’s all about them. What you need to realize about this series is this isn’t some self-help bull crap where I fill you full of a bunch of self-esteem. I’m trying to get you to understand Christ-esteem and to know that it’s God’s hand on you, God’s favor on you, God’s spirit in you, that creates hope for you. Christ has given us grace, then in verse 8, he says, “When he ascended on high, he led captives in his train and gave gifts to men.” And your gift was not given for you to sit on it, but so that you would re-gift it so that the world could see what Jesus looks like in you, through you, fighting for you. And it goes all the way on through verse 13.

1 Peter 4:10-11 says, “Each of us should use whatever gift he has received to serve others.” To serve others. The prodigy in me is not about me. It’s about others. The prodigy in you isn’t about you. It’s not about you, it doesn’t matter if these people like you or agree with you, it’s all about Jesus, it’s only about Jesus, and it’s always about Jesus. It’s given to serve others, “faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.”

You can also look at two of the classic passages in the Bible, Romans 12:3-8 and 1 Corinthians 12, the entire chapter is all about the gifts God has placed inside of you for His glory.

Of course there’s a balance and there’s a flipside to everything. I’m talking about the prodigy in you, but we have to know a few foundational things and the reality of it is: Although there is a prodigy in everyone, no one is a prodigy at everything. You’re not that good. Maybe that’s the reminder that you needed today. Some of you feel unworthy of God’s love and He’s going to use this to lift you up to show you who you are in Jesus. Others of you are good and you know it. And you’ve lost sight of how much if it wasn’t for others and if it wasn’t for God’s forgiveness, you wouldn’t be here today.

Oswald Chambers says, “Every unguarded strength is a double weakness.” That’s why the same gift that God put inside of me, to make me passionate about preaching the Gospel, if it is abused (abnormally used, that’s what abused is: used for the wrong purpose), then I could be a pusher on the street using the same gift God has given to lead thousands to Jesus to try to sell drugs to children. So, in that way we would say every drug user is a misguided entrepreneur or preacher for God. And the most foundational thing you can understand is the prodigy in me is not about me; it’s not for me.

Untrained experts in youth sports

2011-10-30T20:19:00.000-07:00

I need help understanding the youth sports culture. I have a decent understanding of the youth wrestling scene and I can put my finger on most of the issues that are prohibiting the long term development of young athletes. Most of them include the short sightedness of parents. Read this sentence carefully: parents should absolutely be involved in the athletic endeavors of their children; however, this doesn’t mean they always know what’s best for them. Sport seems to be the only industry that allows, and even encourages, untrained individuals to be the “experts.”

I recently listened to two parents describe how well the football season went for each of their sons. They raved about the new direction of the youth football program. They were excited because their sons were in 3rd grade and they started tackling. In addition, the experience was vastly enhanced for Dad because, at that age, only parents were allowed to coach. You know, father-son bonding on the football field (sarcasm noted).

I did my best to listen and try to understand the excitement of the two parents, but there were too many red flags for me. I couldn’t get past them, so I’ll share a few of them.

Number 1: Is it really necessary for 3rd graders to play organized tackle football? Is it even safe? I mean, can children handle the impact? Does this “fast track” them to success? Because I’ve seen a number of highly successful football players who never played organized football until they were a member of a professional football team. I asked a few more questions and it became apparent to me that these youngsters practiced two times a week plus played one game on the weekend – for 9 weeks. This doesn’t make sense to me.

The NFL recently ended a fierce skirmish with the players and owners a few months ago. The player’s union basically said the season was too long and they were too susceptible to long term injuries, but didn’t have long term health benefits. These are physically developed, world class athletes; men, not children. NFL teams don’t even tackle three times a week, but 3rd graders do? It just doesn’t make sense.

Think on this notion for a moment: could it be possible that the concussion epidemic that has become so prevalent in sports today could be linked to the increased impact that athletes encounter as children? Just think about it. Is it possible? If it is we need to take caution at a very early age.

Number 2: When I was in youth sports, the mantra was always “safety first.” It was preached at every practice and throughout my physical education classes. Is safety really first? If I’m honest, it was actually frustrating for me as a young athlete, but I wasn’t the adult, was I? Safety must be the number one priority of parents and coaches. They MUST act like adults, not children.

I told these two parents that tackle football for 3rd graders scares me. It’s similar to my concerns with sports specialization. Young children aren’t physically ready for the repetitive stress on their underdeveloped bodies. As a result, athletes are experiencing serious overuse injuries at a very young age. It’s not healthy for children. Obviously, I wasn’t surprised that these two parents had never thought of the long term health ramifications of their shortsighted actions. I trust that they emphasize safety during practices and games; however, the real question is if they emphasize their safety years beyond those practices and games. It all sort of resembles the NFL Player’s Union, doesn’t it?

Number 3: Another aspect of the conversation that raised concern was the concept of only parents coaching. I understand youth sports depends on parents assuming these roles.

Side note: this just might preclude, by the way, that they’re too young…if Johnny can’t tie his own shoes and needs Daddy there, he’ll probably have difficulty understanding how to find the check down receiver when a blitz is coming.

Adamantly, I asked these parents if their children actually learned anything about playing football. They both quickly replied, almost in unison, “They had fun.” Clearly, that wasn’t my question. I asked if they learned how to play football. If our goal is to have fun, then let’s have fun. I completely identify with them on this notion. In fact, I agree whole-heartedly that these kids should have fun. Unabated, imaginative FUN. A parent-led football organization is significantly different than the football I remember being fun in third grade. We organized our own games on the school playground and in our backyards. In fact, every adult was hell bent on making sure we didn’t play “tackle.” We threw a Hail Mary on every play. That was fun. It’s no wonder I don’t see a group of children playing pick-up games at the park. How can learning cover 2 defense or how to run a halfback option pass be fun for anyone other than the halfback? We don’t need organized football led by parents to provide fun for kids. In fact, it’s actually stealing from them the creativity and genuine joy fostered in a pick-up game.

A few months ago, I wrote about a youth baseball game that I attended as a spectator. I was appalled by the lack of skill. I watched a pitcher throw the ball as hard as he could past underdeveloped hitters. That didn’t happen in the Sandlot because the objective was to have fun by playing the game. If the pitcher threw the ball past everyone, the kids in the field wouldn’t get to engage in the activity. We all held that pitcher accountable so everyone could play. Parents take away the fun by organizing it the pitcher’s goal becomes eliminating the possibility of the ball being put into play. That’s not much fun for the kid standing in right field.

All of a sudden, we trust parents to teach our youth athletes the intricacies of these great games. Are they qualified to teach skills, tactics and techniques effectively? Last time I checked, kids don’t need parents to instruct them how to have fun. And we don’t need parents assuming the expert role when they’re not.

Delusions of grandeur

2011-10-26T15:19:00.000-07:00

I’ve been fired up, dare I say angry, since the Packers-Vikings game ended this weekend. I haven’t been able to shake it, so I’m going to write about it. Of course, I’m a die-hard Packers fan and would much rather see the Vikings lose football games than win them. So, after the Packers won in the Dome, it would make sense if I was overjoyed, but I wasn’t.

I’m tired of the antics that come from the Minnesota Vikings and it has nothing to do with my allegiance to the Green Bay Packers. I’m tired of them because they have a great effect on the people I see every day and, unfortunately, the Minnesota Vikings organization currently represents the American people more than the tradition of excellence that comes from the organization in Green Bay. The Vikings have set their standards on mediocrity and they revel in it. They applaud and champion complacency, and it’s not right. The proof was in the pudding on Sunday when their head coach decided to punt the ball to the Packers (the most prolific offense in football) with three minutes left, down by 6 points, instead of going all in and trying to win. Result: another second half collapse and one more notch in the loss column. The Vikings simply don’t play to win. So, guess what? They don’t win.

I’m upset with all of this because a professional organization, in the country for which I happen to live, has no expectations of excellence. They don’t strive to win. They don’t care if they lose. Their delusions of grandeur are unacceptable and I’m not going to be silent about it anymore. In fact, I went on a ten minute rant to my athletes at practice on Sunday night about it. I’m sick and tired of the Minnesota Vikings organization because they don’t care about success and there are too many impressionable young people watching.

To further this point, they started a rookie quarterback who made a few decent throws and looked good (even great) at times, however, he ended the day 13-32 with 219 yards, 2 touchdowns and 2 interceptions (one of his completions was a surprise 79 yard pass on the first play of the game). He had an awful day as a quarterback, and lost the game, mind you, but the Vikings have found a way manipulate the truth to crown him the “next big thing” and the savior to their franchise. Why? Because he’s good looking? It’s pathetic and I can’t stand to see children and athletes that I work with buying this garbage. We have to have higher standards. If kids are going to look to professional athletes as role models, they need to see those professional athletes living standards of excellence.

I told my athletes that I expect excellence from them in every facet of their lives. We expect them to always do their best and be their best. I’m not interested in settling for mediocrity and have no intentions of not playing to win. I don’t care if they struggle in math or their teacher doesn’t like them, I expect them to be on the honor roll. If they’re going to be involved with what we’re doing, I expect them to treat others kindly and respect their parents and teachers. I expect them to follow rules and be an example to others. I expect their lives to exude excellence and force people to take notice; to stand out and be different and not settle for less than best or be complacent. The outcome is irrelevant if they play to win, leave it all on the field and go all in. Who they are today is important, but not as important as who they’re going to become. They need to expect to be “winners” – in life.

I’m tired of organizations, businesses, school districts, churches, and other groups of people championing mediocrity. I’m tired of the participation mindset that says everyone should feel good about themselves. I’m tired of parents accepting it from their children to preserve their self-esteem. I’m tired of coaches punting the ball to the best offense in the league when they have a chance to win and calling it a good day so they can crown their next hero. I’m tired of it and I won’t allow it in the lives of those who I work with…or those who read this blog.

The world desperately needs people who will stand up for what is good and right and strive for excellence in all areas of their life. Our organizations and businesses need leaders who have the courage to play to win while maintaining integrity.

Playing well during the social chaos at the Mall of America

2011-10-20T14:15:00.001-07:00

One of our favorite places to go to as a family is the Mall of America. We usually walk around without an agenda. I thoroughly enjoy "people watching" and conducting my very own amateur social experiments. I always leave having gained great insight into how human beings act, respond and meander about their lives.

We generally spend a hefty amount of time at LEGOLand - Isaiah's favorite place in the mall. He picks the station with the fewest distractions, climbs on top of the table and sticks his feet in the mix of LEGOS while he focuses on building tower after tower. I love watching him put his mind to something and begin to realize the creative juices inside of him. LEGOLand is a lot of fun. With all of that said, I have this strange suspicion that there are definitely a set of very clear unwritten rules and guidelines that every child and parent must follow during their time creating miss-matched towers. Today, a 14-year old boy (I'm assuming he was 14 as he was bigger than me) had been carousing every station looking for specific pieces to bring to the fortress he was constructing.

Side note: I think said individual is already in breach of these rules, or code, if you will. When the intellectual capacity of the individual reaches the point of understanding there are certain pieces made by the LEGO Group needed to complete the latest recreation of Lancelot's castle, you've probably outgrown the LEGOLand play area in the Mall of America.

Compared to his counterparts, this boy looked like a giant - literally. And he walked up to the station occupied by my first born son and took the figurine that resembled a firefighter. Isaiah quickly reached for it, but he was too late. He said, "hey, I want that." The bully snapped back and said, "well, I'm using it." WHAT?!?!?!?

I thought to myself, did that just happen? After surveying the situation and looking at my 3-year old son crying and saying he wanted to firefighter, I concluded that, yes, it actually did just happen. An awkward teenage boy stole LEGOS from my 3-year child...WTF (censored)? Of course, I took the high road, even though I wanted to throw down under the shadow of Woody and the Hero-Bot 9000 and give this kid a "dirt nap," and did my best to create a teachable moment and explain to Isaiah the idea of conflict management and sharing. Whatever, he just wanted the firefighter. I should have told Isaiah that, at 3, he'd get more middle school girls than that kid, but I'm fresh off a few blogs that held me accountable on that one.

Thinking about those few blogs, I witnessed another great and teachable moment in Banana Republic. Isaiah took a liking to a mannequin in a brown skirt and bright orange sweater. Much to my surprise, he was trying to lift the skirt of the female mannequin and I joked, "Isaiah, you cannot do that until you're married." "But I want to play with her," he said. Of course, he wasn't thinking of anything sexual; he sincerely wanted to play. Feeding off the situation, I told him he has to first hold her hand if he wants things to go any further. He turned to Liz and said, "Mommy, I want her to hold me." Liz had enough and said, "Isaiah, she's not real and she doesn't even have a head." Exactly! Mom, welcome to the world of raising boys. Chivalry doesn't come naturally, we must teach our boys how to value women.

**********

Did you know the name 'LEGO' is an abbreviation of the two Danish words "leg godt", meaning "play well"? It’s been the name and ideal of the founder of LEGO Group, Kirk Kristiansen, since 1932. Today, Isaiah "played well" even if others didn't. Good for him.

The non-negotiables

2011-10-19T15:53:00.000-07:00

One of the best decisions and single most defining moments in my life happened when I was 19 years old. It was the last weekend in January during the new millennium – January 29, 2000, to be exact. I made the decision to pursue the greatest woman in the world. I did my homework on her and carefully selected Liz. I met her earlier in the school year at an Athletes in Action function and casually asked a few other runners about her. Then I watched her at an indoor track meet. When she made her second turn during the first lap of a 3,000 meter race, I was captivated by her stride and look of determination. Of course, she was beautiful so it made the decision easier. I turned to my friend, Clayton, and told him that I was going to marry “that girl.” And I did. It didn’t happen by chance or by fate, though. It came by way of a very intentional process. I was looking for love in all the right places and found it.

I was different than most college students at that time. I had begun to understand my faith and knew that God was going to do big things in and through me. I wasn’t living the college lifestyle many of my classmates and teammates were. I made the decision when I was young to “save myself” for marriage and put myself in the right environments to maintain that standard. In the meantime, I thoughtfully considered my dating standards and, with the assistance of a great mentor, articulated my non-negotiable standards for a wife. At the top of the list was a faith and understanding of Christ that placed God at top of her priority list. My faith was the most important part of my life and it was imperative that whoever I chose to date thought the same way. It wasn’t narrow-minded on my part, it was smart. What was top on priority couldn’t number 5 or 6 on the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. For me, when it came to this, not everyone deserved a chance. I made a decision that I was only going to date those who met my standards for a wife. Fortunately, it only took one.

You have a choice with who you date and you have a choice with the standards you use. Your standards can never be too high for your future spouse (they can be wrong – looks, money, etc. – but never too high). You must determine your non-negotiable standards immediately, no matter how old you are. Think deeply and write them down. Once they’re determined, follow them! Don’t enter into exclusive dating relationships with individuals that don’t meet your standards and, if at any time, the individual you are with demonstrates to you that he/she doesn’t possess one of the non-negotiables, it’s time to move on. It doesn’t matter if he has potential. If he doesn’t meet the standards, move on. I don’t care if she’s really good looking and comes from a great family. If she doesn’t meet the standards, move on. Don’t waste anyone’s time. This doesn’t mean that you throw in the towel every time someone annoys you. I’m talking about the few, specific non-negotiables. If they’re non-negotiable, you shouldn’t have to negotiate with yourself about him/her.

There are far too many people who live accidental lives. They find themselves in a situation or a relationship and they don’t know how they arrived in the place they are. It’s about taking responsibility for your life and the decisions you make. They were reluctant to take initiative and control of the decision making process and allowed things to happen that were less than best for their lives. They didn’t have the courage to go against what culture was saying and listen to what their heart was saying. They weren’t selective in who they chose to date. They let the date choose them. They were looking for love in all the wrong places.

On our wedding day, Liz gave me a beautiful letter that she had written. In it, she wrote, “you have nothing I can’t live with and everything I can’t live without.” She was looking for love in all the right places, too. She chose me. And I chose her. We’ve been married for over 8 years and we’ve had to work through many issues and problems. The dynamics of our relationship have changed with careers, children, mortgages, etc. Neither of us is perfect. However, it’s not about if the other is perfect or not, it’s that we’re perfect for each other.

I made a choice to pursue Liz 3,882 days ago and every day since I’ve made the same decision. Life is about making decisions and in the end, those decisions make you.

What did you do in the offseason to get better?

2011-10-16T06:52:00.000-07:00

This morning I'm writing directly to coaches. What did YOU do in the offseason to get better? Coaches expect their athletes to do a number of things in the offseason to be ready for the next, but are they willing to put in the extra time to become better themselves? In most cases, I would say, "no."

The number of good coaches in the sport of wrestling is on the decline and I would be as bold as to say that there are only a few "great" coaches left in our state. Sure, being in a leadership role with kids is special in and of itself, however, I'm tired of applauding "good intentions" and "meant well." It's time to expect more from our leaders. I just don't see enough coaches putting in the time necessary to become better coaches - or better men, husbands, fathers, etc. When these men were athletes, they understood the importance of doing the extra work and the little things right to succeed. Somehow, in those same men there's a disconnect when it comes to their role as coach. We expect excellence from our athletes, but not from our coaches. They're set on mediocrity and complacency. There are no prerequisites to coach. Continuing education is not mandatory. And, as a result, standards are essentially non-existent.

Yesterday I was a part of a new project in our state that was focused on raising standards of excellence. I had been talking to another coach about the condition of the coaches in Wisconsin and instead of waiting for someone else to do something about it, we did. We put together our state's first "Coaches Advancement Day." I was adamant about leaving the word "retreat" out of the title because we had no intentions of retreating; we want to advance. We had 12 successful wrestling coaches focusing on becoming better.

It's not an accident that these coaches have experienced great success; they're willing to put the time in to become better. I think it's fair to believe there are more than twelve coaches who want to get better, however, sadly, the same twelve individuals seem to take advantage of all of the opportunities.

As a coach, I'm postured as a learner. Trying to become the best I can be is very important to me, so I'm willing to do what it takes. It's time for more coaches to put in the same amount of time to improve as they expect from their athletes. Instructing a wrestler to attend a summer camp and not doing so as coach is unacceptable. There are many little things that can be done to improve.

Here is a small list of ideas for coaches. They're all very manageable. Coaches, you owe it to your athletes to improve. Get better or get left behind.

• Keep a journal
• Plan ahead
• Read a book (about leadership)
• Host or attend a summer wrestling camp
• Attend a coaching summit/clinic
• Find a mentor
• Watch the highest levels of wrestling on YouTube
• Use the buddy system – find another coach to share ideas with. Iron sharpens iron.
• Stay in shape
• Read articles (or books) about training athletes
• Breakdown video from previous seasons
• Challenge the status quo and think outside the box
• Study other coaches (including in other sports)
• Get to know your athletes and their parents

MMQB: Week 5

2011-10-10T12:50:00.001-07:00

"You can't stop them. You can only hope to contain them." Stuart Jackson used to make a habit of saying this during Sports Center. It's the quote that was constantly ringing in my head last night during the Packers-Falcons game. The Falcons started the game perfectly - controlling the clock and keeping the Packers offense off the field. However, it was only a matter of time before Rodgers was able to pick apart the defense. I think Packers fans were a little greedy during the game last night, though. For me, it's refreshing to see the Packers are capable of winning "ugly," too. They're good. Really good.

The most exciting player of the weekend was Victor Cruz. The Giants wide receiver was unheard of before this season, but he makes acrobatic catches every weekend. Adrian Peterson did alright, too, but Calvin Johnson hasn't played yet. Drew Brees is the biggest superstar that nobody talks about. His numbers are almost as good as Brady, he's winning football games as well as anybody (except Rodgers) and he just put an entire team on his back and carried them to a win...again. I need to give Fred Jackson some props, too. Behind that young offensive line, he could rush for over 1,400 yards. And not-so-quietly, Jared Allen is playing like a Pro Bowler again.

Seriously, what's the deal with the Eagles? Michael Vick has seven interceptions and seven fumbles. I don't care how electrifying he is, that's a problem. The Eagles are a problem. Since Andy Reid is one of my favorite coaches, I haven't counted them out, but I'm getting very, very close. I heard separate interviews of both Reid and Vick. They both said they take the full responsibility for what's happening. To me, that doesn't make sense. Two people cannot be fully responsible, can they? I think they need to sort out who's in charge of the team (and Vick is not in charge). I just don't have much love for the entire NFC East right now. There isn't one team in that division that inspires me.

I have counted out John Candy and the Jets. They're a very good team, but they just keep losing. They can't afford to do that in their division. The Patriots are the Patriots and the Bills are for real. I don't think they can catch either of those teams and they can't rely on the other wild card spot with all of the surprising teams (Oakland, Tennessee, Cincinnati, etc.).

I'm sold on the Bills, Raiders and 49ers. I think all three teams will be in the playoffs. Jim Harbaugh knows what he's doing. He has Alex Smith looking like a Pro Bowl leader right now. And their defense is completely legit.

The Raiders played "inspired" yesterday, however, they're good enough to win games like that every week (except for when the go to Lambeau...). Al Davis was a pretty big deal to professional football. I enjoyed watching the pregame shows yesterday and hearing how he impacted some of the best personalities in the game. He was a key factor in integrating the AFL and NFL, the first to hire an African-American head coach, a Latino head coach and a female CEO. What a pioneer. Good for him.

Tim Tebow has arrived, much to the chagrin of Merrill Hodge on NFL Live. Well, he was at least put in the line-up. I'm not sure if he's arrived yet. He is a gamer, though. How can you not love this guy? I like that he was a superstar without playing. It goes to show that people do like high character players. He has set himself apart and God is using him. Now, we get to draw our conclusions of him based on how well (or poorly) he can throw a football. I'm not as optimistic about his skills as I am his character. He's still and gamer, though, and he's a winner.

I'm ashamed to write that I put Ben Roethlisberger on waivers in one of my fantasy leagues right before the weekend started. Good one, Kevin. I just finished writing that after week 4 last year, he was money. He was suspended then and in terms of fantasy impact, he might as well have been this year. Now he's rolling and I have Jason Campbell instead. Dang.

Endure such opposition

2011-10-09T14:24:00.000-07:00

I’ve been very adamant about speaking the truth in love to the next generation of men since I started working with high school athletes ten years ago. Most recently, I’ve been expressing frustrations and expectations on boys becoming men on this blog. I have been very firm about these responsibilities and, in light of the weight of these expectations; I also want to be a source of encouragement to these young men.

Teenagers face pressure to conform in countless ways. Many of them are unhealthy and unproductive, but they’re intriguing because they can sometimes be exciting and popular. Everyone desires to be accepted and, unfortunately, being part of “the crowd” temporarily meets that need. However, being part of the crowd is uninteresting and ordinary. It lacks uniqueness. It’s simply common. We need to strive to be uncommon. If everyone is doing it, it’s probably not worth doing. Nothing worth having or doing comes easily. Originality is a vital ingredient needed to become the man God created you to be. Your life should stick out and people should notice that you’re “different.” You have what it takes because you are exemplary and extraordinary. You need to be more weird because normal isn’t work. You are too valuable to be confined in the space of what everyone else is doing. Stand up and stand out!

It’s difficult to be the exception to society’s rules. Unquestionably, you’ll face persecution of various kinds. There are many great men that have gone before us who we can learn from. The late Steve Jobs is becoming immortalized for the way he approached life. One of his closest friends said of him during his final days, “Steve made choices…But for Steve, it was all about living life on his own terms and not wasting a moment with things he didn’t think were important. He was aware that his time on earth was limited. He wanted control of what he did with the choices that were left.” Jobs is the greatest innovator and leader in the past 20 years and he was determined to be unique, no matter how great the pressure was to conform. Without addressing specific pressures, in a sense, Jobs’ legacy captures the essence of what we’re going for here.

By looking into the lives of prominent characters in the Bible, we gain even more insight into the correct decision making process. Many of them faced death and persecution for standing up for what was right. High school presents us with pressures, obviously, but our lives aren’t on the line. Certainly, you can cope with not being invited to the next party when you decide to stand up to your buddies who want to go down the wrong path. Certainly, you’re strong enough to handle the “wrath” of the captain on your football team when you refuse to tolerate him degrading women. Certainly, you can put your popularity on the line to protect that helpless freshman your team insists on relentlessly picking on day after day. Certainly, you can endure the teasing from others when you decide to pursue purity and honor women by not having sex until your married. When you make difficult decisions, you will be ridiculed. When you’re exceptional, others will do all they can to bring you back down to their level.

When you feel attacked by classmates and teammates, take heart in knowing that it will make you stronger for the journey to become a man. I’ve been there and it can be hard to say, “No” and stand up for what is right. The rewards are great; however, don’t just take my word for it. If you will endure and not lose heart, God promises us that it’s worth it. Sure, it will get difficult, but He will provide the “extra” strength to preserve. This all leads to maturity.

Here are few passages that will provide you with encouragement to do what is right.

“Consider it pure joy, brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be made mature and complete, not lacking anything.” – James 1:2-4

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.” – 1 Corinthians 4:7-10

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” – Hebrews 12:1-3

Be that kind of man

2011-10-05T18:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I wrote a blog about how young men need to treat women. It’s one of the best blogs I’ve written. Courteous courtship needs to be addressed and I received a lot of feedback indicating that we don’t discuss it enough. So, here I am with round two.

I painted a clear picture for our boys on how to treat women and almost immediately this morning, I came across the following Facebook status that impacted me in a variety of ways.

We need to teach our daughters the difference between a man who FLATTERS her, and a man who COMPLIMENTS her.

A man who SPENDS money on her, and a man who INVESTS in her.

A man who views her as PROPERTY and a man who views her PROPERLY.

A man who LUSTS after her and a man who LOVES her.

A man who believes he is God's gift to women, and a man who remembers a woman was God's gift to man.

And then teach our sons to be that kind of man

When I saw this post in my news feed, I “liked” it immediately. However, I was embarrassed to read the derogatory comments written moments after it was posted. Like vulchers, guys fed on the heartless and lifeless comments. They thought they were funny, but they instantly revealed how childish and foolish they are. They were nothing less than offensive and then to see individuals had liked the comments made me sick. I have zero tolerance for this type of behavior and these guys need to be exposed for the dirt bags they are.

Not surprisingly, a plethora of females liked the status and tried their best to show they didn’t appreciate the comments, but it only added fuel to the fire. There weren’t any men who had the courage to stand-up and tell these guys they were out of line, either. A woman was sharing her heart, telling the world what she truly desires, and guys mocked and disrespected her for it. This is utterly pathetic. Rhetorically speaking, how stupid can you be guys? Oh yeah, and in somewhat of a related note, most of those guys are single and not getting any closer to having a woman actually like them. Shocking, huh? If one of these guys had previously been successful in tricking a girl into liking him, I hope she dumped him today.

Clearly, daughters do need to learn these differences because, apparently, we can't trust men to know them or to take them seriously.

I didn’t want to share any of the inappropriate comments because I don’t want to glorify them or the idiot guys that posted/liked them; however, it’s important for everyone to know what we’re working with here and how far away from chivalry many are. We’re working with a lot of childish and chauvinist loser guys who also qualify as stupid. Below are a few comments I saw on Facebook and online in response to this quote. If they don’t make your skin crawl, YOU are part of the problem. If you’re not willing to stand-up to and rebuke individuals or groups who endorse the following statements, particularly if you’re a man, YOU are part of the problem.

•“Men want a woman that can make sandwiches and clean the kitchen…now that’s a woman that will get ‘love.’” Followed by, “don’t forget backrubs.”
•“Why can’t men be God’s gift to women?”
•“Fathers, you’ve have your daughters for 18 years, it’s our time now!”

Remember, this only a microcosm to what I saw in response to this quote. Most of the problem is that guys actually believe these things. They think they’re God’s gift to the world. However, another part of the problem is that there seems to be a lack of courage in others to be bold and stand-up for what’s right. I’d enjoy the opportunity to eliminate these losers from existence, but here’s my burden: I do have hope for them because they are still the image and glory of God according to 1 Corinthians 11:7. They have every ingredient needed to be real men; they just need accountability, direction and guidance. They might also need to get slapped in the face and be the subject of a public roasting before they come around. Actually, what they need might even be more severe than that. I just hope and pray that a sweet little girl wrestling with acceptance and self-image issues while becoming a woman doesn’t waste her time with him until he’s legitimately living out his potential as a man.

We do need to teach our daughters the difference. It has to start when our daughters are very young. We need to teach them that boys who push them down, pull their hair and hit them on the school playground do this because they’re mean, not because they like our daughters. We need to teach our sons the difference, as well.

To the men of Victory, stand-up and fight the good fight. With bold conviction, unswervingly tell those guys they’re wrong. Courageously stand out and be a man. Separate yourself from this behavior. It’s never cool to be chauvinist, even if you’re in the locker room or at your buddy’s house. I guarantee it won’t be easy and it will likely be unpopular, but it’s the right thing to do. It’s never wrong to do what’s right. Be the change you want to see in the world.

Courteous courtship

2011-10-04T07:44:00.000-07:00

I received a lot of feedback from my previous post about raising standards and expecting boys to become men. It encouraged me to expand on a few of the ideas that real men stand for. I slid the word chivalry in yesterday and I know it caught people’s attention. Whenever we discuss the subject of chivalry, there are three words at the forefront of most minds: chivalry is dead. Chivalry might be dormant, but it certainly isn’t dead. It’s in the hearts of everyone because we’re created in the image of God. The code of chivalry stands for hope, kindness, respect, integrity and courage and it’s time to reclaim these virtues. Every man needs a beauty to rescue and every woman wants to be that beauty. To the men of Victory, you are being summoned to be a knight in shimmering armor.

I might be out of my jurisdiction here. Still, I have a responsibility as a leader of young men and as a wrestling coach, of all things, to demonstrate, encourage and teach the idea of courteous courtship, or “chivalry.” Obviously, I have made mistakes in relationships and still do; however, I have stood up against culture and actively sought to treat women with respect. We’re in an awful place when this behavior is unique. Young boys in the midst of becoming men aren’t properly instructed on how to treat a lady. They live in a world where more marriages fail than survive and very few of those that survive actually thrive. When it comes to the dating world, they’re left to their own devices. I can’t blame them for following the ways of the world when it’s all they see and hear.

Popular culture is doing its best to kill chivalry and strip boys of these virtues. Almost as if chivalry and equality can’t exist at the same time. I watched the movie Easy A with Emma Stone last year and was heartbroken when she said,

“Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80’s movies? I want John Cusack holding a boom box outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80’s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.”

It’s not John Hughes’ responsibility to personify chivalry. It’s the responsibility of every man. Women want to be pursued and rescued. And men want to be the rescuer. These are soul cravings unique to each gender. Why do I believe this? Because the Bible told me so.

Speaking directly to men, Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This means you are to lay down your life for her life. It’s sacrificial and unconditional love. Perfect. A movie that exemplifies this type of love is Robin Hood: Men of Thieves. Unfortunately, most of this new generation hasn’t seen it, or even heard of it, but I still tell every one of my athletes to watch it in order to assure they become the right kind of man. The theme song “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” by Bryan Adams tells it all. In 1991, it spent 16 weeks at number one because everyone identified with the lyrics: “I would die for you…” Robin of Locksley said it with absolute conviction to Maid Marion and he won her heart. It communicated the longing inside of every woman to be cherished, honored and pursued and it revealed the chivalrous virtues each man possesses. Notice that the lyrics only make sense when a man sings them. That’s because men are called to give up their lives for a woman. Women aren’t called to do the same.

Another movie that demonstrates this attitude of chivalry is Last of the Mohicans. This is another movie you won’t find in Redbox so most teenagers skip this one, too. Not at Victory, though. It’s another one I push on high school boys because it demonstrates chivalry in a bold way. There’s a beautiful scene in a water fall when the main character Hawkeye lays it all on the line for Cora after she tells him to save himself and he says, “You be strong. You survive…you stay alive. No matter what occurs! I will find you. No matter how long it takes. No matter how far. I will find you.” I get chills every time I watch this scene because of the message a man delivers to a woman. He’s saying unequivocally, without hesitation, that she is worth pursuing while risking his own life. Of course she is to the manliest of men.

There’s a lot to digest in what I’ve shared so far, however, these boys need to see chivalry played out. They need higher standards because most of them are currently falling short in the high school and college “dating game.” They’re not bringing to the table the basics of courteous courtship. They’re not acting like real men. Perhaps they’re trying to prove that they’re not stuck in old-fashioned social conventions. Or perhaps they’re supremely bewildered about what is expected of them while they’re on a date.

Men of Victory, consider these to be the most basic rules for dating…Take a shower and dress nicely – each date should be treated as a special occasion and baggy jeans with holes and an American Eagle t-shirt don’t say anything special at all. Open all doors and hold them for her, even if she says you don’t need to wait on her, you do. Refrain from the physical temptations and get to know her for who she is inside her soul, not outside. Pay attention to her, listen to her and be exclusively hers – there’s no need to text your buddy the play-by-play or update your status while in the theater. When you’re around your boys with her, cherish and protect her, you’re not ashamed of her, and when she’s not with you, speak highly of her never being degrading. Tell your parents about her and include them in the story so you can share the experience with those closest to you while securing needed accountability. These are the basic building blocks to living out chivalry and a courteous courtship. These are expected of you.

I’m tired of loser boyfriends who put themselves first in relationships. It’s a privilege to honor a woman and, as a man, it’s your responsibility to do it. If you’re going to be a loser boyfriend, do it by yourself. Don’t break the heart of a sweet girl in the process. You can be a loser by yourself. She deserves better and, obviously, you don’t deserve her. Making a woman feel inadequate is not cool. It never was and never will be. Lift her up and treat her feel like a princess. Every woman deserves to be treated like a princess. As a man, God is the King of your heart, but she is the queen of your heart. Honor her. Respect her. Cherish her. Hold her heart and guard it as if your life depends on it, because it does. You should lay down your life before you put down her heart.

Follow this link to see the video for Bryan Adams - (Everything I Do) I Do It For You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGoWtY_h4xo

Calling boys to be men: higher standards

2011-10-03T12:55:00.000-07:00

At the Twin Cities Marathon yesterday, between mile 24 and 25, the Minnesota Vikings had a large blow-up Vikings football player, five cheerleaders and Viktor the mascot. Viktor came up to my son, Isaiah, who was wearing a Packers hat, and tried to give him a high-five. Pushing the stroller, I didn't slow down enough for Isaiah to connect and he left him hanging. Cute little Isaiah turned around and said, "Daddy, did you see that guy?" I quickly replied, "No! I didn't see him and we don't talk to those guys." I'm a Packers fan and we don't mingle with the enemy's mascot. When you're a Black (last name), you cheer for the Packers - and against the Vikings - that's just the way it is.

I believe in the promise of Proverbs 22:6 - "train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." There are certain things we do and don't do as Blacks. They were trained in me at a young age and I'm doing the same to my children. This little story was the perfect introduction to something that I've been holding on to for quite some time. I'm going to apply it directly to those who participate in the opportunities at Victory School of Wrestling. It's time to call these boys to a higher standard of living. It's time for them to be men.

We live in a culture that tells young boys often to "be a man." The problem is, they hear this message, but don't get a clear vision for what real manhood looks like. As a result, they buy what the culture is selling them on what it means to be a man. So, we're left with a generation of boys who fall short of the basic standards for their life's direction.

Society tells them that men are consumers (buy and accumulate toys, success, women, etc.) when, in fact, real men are contributors. I get angry every time I see a beer commercial during a football game make the bold claim that drinking a their brand makes you a man. Want to be a man? Then drink Miller Lite. According to their commercials, it's plain and simple. And you should never cry when saying goodbye to the woman you love. This is what our culture tells these young boys. And they buy it. Not only is it disingenuous, it's completely false.

Being a man is about accepting responsibility, rejecting passivity, leading courageously, expecting the greater reward * and being a contributor to our society, not a consumer. Being a man is about setting high standards and keeping them no matter what your buddies say or our society tells us. As men, we need to stand for the things of God, not the things of television and pop culture, and there are things that we should always stand against. We should always stand against the idea that disrespecting women is acceptable. It's not! Men cherish women and respect them simply because they are a woman. We should always stand against compromise and injustice, as if it's part of our rights of passage to bully and haze others. It's not! Men treat others kindly. We should always stand against the attitude that we have it all figured out and our parents, elders and those in authority don't understand what we're going through and they need to leave us alone. Men appreciate those who have gone before them. When you're a MAN, you just don't do certain things.

I'm calling those at Victory, and everyone, for that matter, to stand-up and live a life of higher standards. We must stand for honesty, integrity, respect, chivalry and much more than what we see today. I don't have to look very long on Facebook to see that some of our young men are standing for the wrong things. It's unacceptable and it's time to be the change in the world that we want to see.

To those of you who are influenced by what we do at Victory, consider this your warning. We won't tolerate this any longer. Much the same as Isaiah will grow to understand that, as a Black, there are just certain things we do and don't do; Victory athletes, there are also certain things we do and don't do. It's that simple. We're raising the bar. It's non-negotiable and we will produce men with much higher standards than world offers.

* - reference: Raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis

MMQB: Week 4

2011-10-03T09:18:00.000-07:00

A Monday Morning Quarterback (MMQB) - A person who criticizes or passes judgement with benefit of hindsight.

Welcome to the second installment of the Monday Morning Quarterback. Week 4 is in the books and things are becoming interesting. Obviously, my interest is primarily the NFC North and story lines there are very rich right now. The Packers and Lions are the only undefeated teams in the NFL. They've done it in completely different ways. The Packers have dominated their opponents while the Lions have shown a never-say-die attitude and come from behind to win games in exciting ways. I'm still not sold on them as a team, but I am sold on Calvin Johnson. Wow! That guy is amazing. He might be the best player in the NFL right now for anyone not named Aaron Rodgers. He's that good.

Aaron Rodgers might very well be playing the best football in the history of the NFL. I know, it's a bold statement, but he is nearly flawless. What I like most about him is he makes defenses pay for mistakes. He's like a shark who smells blood and goes for the kill. I've been asked by people how to beat the Packers right now and the only thing I can think of is a team would have to be perfect on defense. Seriously, perfect. I don't know if that's possible. The game in Atlanta next week is going to be fun.

I saw something during the Packers game beyond the score and statistics that I think is worth mentioning. It was 48-17 and the game was well out of hand so the back-up quarterback for the Packers, Matt Flynn, was in the game. He overthrew Randall Cobb on 3rd and long and came to the sidelines to Mike McCarthy. Coach McCarthy was noticeably angry about the mistake and let Flynn know. It was great to see that McCarthy demands excellence from everyone in the gold helmet, even the second team offense. He has raised the bar and his team has standards that are on a different plane right now.

Alright, just so you know I didn't miss it...the Viking lost again. You know I'm not losing sleep over this. I'm actually enjoying it very much. They had another half time lead and fell apart to what I thought was the 2nd or 3rd worst team in the NFL (Chiefs). There are a couple of awful teams this year, but none with the talent of the Vikings (Peterson, Allen, etc.). They have some real superstars and it just simply doesn't matter at this point. I like Leslie Fraser as a man and identify with his lifestyle and faith commitment so it kind of pains me to say that I don't think he's a very good leader (right now, at least). Is his job in jeopardy? I think so.

The Philadelphia Eagles are still America's Dream Team. They're 1-3. Michael Vick played out of his mind and they still lost. I don't know if it's realistic to expect them to recover from this mini-recession that they're in. In fact, they might experience another recession before this "administration's" responsibilities are over. I'm sure they will look to players from other teams to help fix their problems.

The Jets are 2-2...whoop dee doo. Why do the prominent football media outlets love these guys so much? I don't want to hear Rex Ryan on the sidelines or after games anymore. Win when it matters, then I'll care what you have to say. Quit telling me how great you are; show me. I wish John Candy was still alive because he would play Rex Ryan splendidly in a movie or SNL skit.

How about the Titans? Or the 49ers? Or even the Redskins? Nobody expected much from these teams, but they're figuring out a few things about winning football games. The 49ers have a very good defense, don't they? The addition of Matt Hasselbeck in Tennessee has been a God-send for the Titans. If he can figure out how to use Chris Johnson they'll hang with the Texans until the end. How does Vince Young feel right now - ouch.

Last year, the Steelers put things together at the right time to make it to the Super Bowl, so I'm not going to be very critical of their ugly start. I just expected a lot from them right away. Last year, their first four games were awful because Ben Roethlisberger wasn't in the line-up, which made me ask if he was in the line-up for the first four games this year. He has been there, but hasn't been there. He might as well not have been playing because he hasn't been Big Ben. I know this because he's on one of my fantasy teams. So is Rashard Meandenhall...what the heck is his deal? The best thing the Steelers have is Mike Tomlin, so they'll be alright.

I think the Dolphins are in the driver's seat for Andrew Luck. Sorry to the Vikings fans who want Luck before experiencing the Ponder-era (which isn't far from beginning...and ending). They just can't get anything to go their way. I remember when the Packers beat the Vikings and Cardinals in the final two games of the season in 1988 to finish 4-12 and lose the first pick. They took one of the biggest busts of all-time in Tony Mandrich with the 2nd pick. I have a sense something similar will happen with the Vikings. I'm going to start looking for "can't miss" prospects who the Vikings will surely miss on. I enjoy their misery.

Oh, and to the Broncos fans, Tim Tebow isn't the answer right now. There isn't an answer at the moment, however, Von Miller is going to be special.

Of course I didn't start Cam Newton against the Bears in one of my leagues. Oops.

As a Christian, do you really believe in God?

2011-09-29T09:26:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed, at times, those who claim to be Christians actually believe in God less than those who claim to be anything but a Christian? I heard a story about how a church was meeting regularly to pray for the closing of a strip club next door. The owner of the club was aware of this and when lightning struck his building, burning it to the ground, he sued the church. While in court, the judge listened to each side argue about what had happened and he struck his gavel and said, "I can't believe what I'm hearing. In my court room I have the pastor of a church saying that prayer doesn't work while the owner of a strip club says it does."

I don't know if this is a true story, but I don't think it matters because the message is loud and clear. Christians believe in God when it makes sense and at times choose to forget about Him when it doesn't. Sometimes, often times, non-Christians believe in God more than those who devote their life to Him.

I had an athlete approach me about another athlete needing prayer. In fact, this individual asked the first athlete if she could ask me to pray for her and her friend who was in critical condition. She's not a Christian and has been open about being agnostic and/or atheist. But she asked me to pray for her? Why? She doesn't believe in prayer, right? Well, I did pray. I wasn't certain on how to pray, so I basically prayed that she would see that God is real in the midst of this situation. If I'm honest, I was little scared to pull out the healing prayer at that time because I didn't want to use up any favor God might have for me down the line, as if it's a coupon or something with limits. Pathetic, I know. If I wasn't aware of my lack of faith in that situation already, God hit me even harder when this individual sent me a thoughtful message thanking me for my thoughts and prayers. She explained that her friend had recovered very quickly and was in good condition, nearly healed. She believed in God's ability to heal her friend more than I did? I'm the Christian; she's not. Why did she trust God in that situation before I did, especially considering she doesn't even know if He exists?

Here's another one...two nights ago, around 2:00 a.m., Isaiah woke up and hollered, "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" I went into his room to check on him and he was sitting up in his bed (this doesn't happen much). He said he wasn't tired and wanted me to lay by him. So, of course, I did. As we started laying back, he pointed across the room and said, "tell that guy to go away." Confused, I said, "what guy?" "That guy over there," he pointed towards the rocking chair. "There's no one over there, buddy." "Yeah, there is. Over there. That guy. Tell him to go away." So I went over to the rocking chair, scared out of my mind, by the way, and moved my arms around and said, "see there's no one over here." I went back to lay with him and he told me the guy was sitting down in the rocking chair. I was really, really scared. I started praying like crazy. I told God I was really scared and I asked Him to protect our house and assured Him I was aware of His promises to answer calls like this. Still, I was scared. I'll add, the lighting was kind of creepy, too. We laid there for a few minutes until Isaiah fell back asleep and I left his room with my heart racing. No way was I going to tell Liz what Isaiah had said at 2:00 a.m. She would have freaked. Later, the garbage truck woke Isaiah up before Liz left for work, so we all got to talk about that moment together at 7:00 a.m. We asked what Isaiah saw and he said, "it wasn't anything. It was just clothes." There were clothes hanging over the arms of the rocking chair. Without regard for what he just said, Liz asked what the guy looked like. Isaiah said he had a brown face and rubbed his own cheeks and chin, almost like he was imagining a beard. Crazy...

I'm not going to read into that situation much and I've tried to push some of it out of my mind. I don't believe in ghosts and don't think our house is haunted. I do believe in angels, though. I believe there is a heavenly realm that is active and real. Liz told this story to a few others and one of her co-workers (a non-church goer) said, "maybe it was God just passing through." Of course. What was I thinking? Why was I scared? It could have been something entirely holy, if it was anything at all. I'm the Christian, right? Why would I make the assumption it was anything BUT God? I know this is why God and the angels always introduce themselves with the premise, "don't be frightened..." I was frightened. And I just saw clothes hanging on the rocking chair.

I'm always miffed when non-Christians believe in God, and the things of God, more than Christians do. More than I do. What is it about me that creates that instantaneous doubt? If we try to deny and hide from God, He can be very, very scary. However, if we move towards Him and accept the things of Him, He's very comforting. Why would I do anything besides move in His direction? God is real. The things of God are real and His promises are real.

Kickball bullies

2011-09-28T13:02:00.000-07:00

I drove past an elementary school today and saw a class of kids playing kickball. I love playground games. I wish I still had my recess years at my disposal. I miss it. I don't miss that kid who tried to ruin it for everyone, though.

I asked my brother what it is about me that makes me dislike that kid who, while playing pitcher, rolls the ball so hard that no one can kick the ball. He told me it's because that kid is a bully. It's true. He's a bully. His objective is to make life miserable for everyone else while he gets to laugh. I really don't like that. In kickball, everyone should have the opportunity to kick the ball. That's why it's called "kick" ball. It defeats the purpose when the pitcher doesn't let anyone else play.

I despise bullying. It's a major pet peeve of mine and angers me on a very deep level. I just thought I'd share...

MMQB: First Edition

2011-09-26T13:28:00.001-07:00

A Monday Morning Quarterback (MMQB) - A person who criticizes or passes judgement with benefit of hindsight.

Every Monday morning I try to wrap my mind around the wealth of knowledge that I acquired while watching football from my couch. I end up spending most of the day sending text messages and e-mails to my friends about what transpired on the gridiron. A lot of the ideas that I take away from a weekend of football have the potential to be useful in the lives of those who read this blog. So, without further ado, I announce to you my own version of Monday Morning Quarterback. This could be interesting...

Week 3 is complete, with the exception of tonight's Monday Night Football game, and there have been some interesting surprises (Buffalo Bills) as well as a few things that were expected (Packers 3-0, Vikings 0-3).

Off the top of my head, here's what I saw:

* The Packers are really, really good. I'm extremely bias and will never attempt to hide that fact. Actually, I'm proud to bleed green and gold. Still, they're really good. They have yet to play a "complete" game and have dominated the NFL. The scary thing is Aaron Rodgers is going to get better, which seems unbelievable, and their defense will start to figure things out, too.

* The Buffalo Bills will be in every game they play this year. I'm not ready to say they're the best team in the AFC. Even after beating the Patriots, I still think New England has a better team. Chan Gailey and Dave Wannsteadt work extremely well together and have taken teams to the playoffs together more than once (most recently the Miami Dolphins). Watch out for these guys. As long as Fitzpatrick is at the helm, they're dangerous. Especially because he's starting to develop a few legitimate weapons and seems to make everyone else on the offense better. This should be expected from a Harvard grad.

* The Vikings are really, really ugly. I already said it, I'm bias, but that really has nothing to do with my assessment of this team. Granted, Jared Allen had a great game for the first since my 3-year old son was born, but the rest of the team stinks. I wonder if any team in NFL history has given up halftime leads of 10 or more points three times in one season. Well, the Vikes have done it in the first three game to open their season (11, 17 and 20 point leads). I don't know what's going to happen next, but this organization is a complete zoo. It has been for years. I don't think they have the capacity to recover from this and I'm not about to lose any sleep over it, either.

* The Lions aren't quite "there" yet. Sure, they're 3-0 for the first time since 1980 and that's commendable. I do like them and want to see them succeed, but after watching them yesterday, I'm not sold on them. I don't think they have "arrived." Yet. They will be good this year and maybe even make the playoffs (check their schedule and look at their final six games, though...0-6?). Something about Matthew Stafford rubs me the wrong way, but I love Ndamukong Suh. I wouldn't mind naming my next son Ndamukong. Why haven't they marketed this guy's name more? Seriously, KONG. It's who he is.

* The Eagles are America's team. It's true. They spend too much money on things that produce very little to no results and blame everyone else for their problems. Sounds like America to me. Well, at least our government. I do believe in Andy Reid and, at 1-2, they're not done by any means, however, I don't believe in Mike Kafka. That's his name, right?

* The Oakland Raiders are going to win the AFC West. You can quote me on this and when it happens, I'm going to claim that I was the first one who said it. They're better than the Chargers and Denver and KC are horrible. I like what the Raiders have going on and hardly anyone knows about them. Darren McFadden is the best running back in the NFL. I feel bad for Nnamdi Asomugha.

* By the time this season is over, there are going to be some ridiculous statistics on the leader board. They could legitimately approach Madden-esque numbers. Tom Brady is on pace to throw for 7,077 yards and 59 touchdowns (I think he'll only end up with 5,500-45). Darren McFadden is on pace for 2,100 yards rushing and I think he can break 2,000, seriously (who knew?), but what's funny is Wes Welker is on pace for 165 receptions and 2,440 yards receiving. He's half way to 1,000 with 13 games left. Ho-hum. Oh, and by the way, Chris Johnson is on the dark side. He thought he was bigger than his team and he's getting what he deserved. I knew better than to pick him or Arian Foster in my fantasy leagues (I did pick Steven Jackson, though...he'll be back and will be solid).

* After week 3, the best players in the NFL are as follows: 1. Aaron Rodgers, 2. Tom Brady, 3. Clay Matthews, 4. Calvin Johnson, 5. Darren McFadden, 6. Drew Brees, 7. DeMarcus Ware, 8. LeSean McCoy, 9. Ryan Fitzpatrick, 10. Jason Pierre-Paul.

Run your own race

2011-09-26T10:11:00.000-07:00

I subscribe to a large number of blogs and spend most of my morning reading each one. A favorite of mine is by Seth Godin. He's a world renowned author and leadership and marketing guru. His revolutionary ideas have the changed the way I approach life. He has a new book coming out tomorrow entitled We Are All Weird (the title alone is captivating, isn't it?) I'm telling you, this man is a genius. I had to share his blog post for today because it echoes much of what I stand for and one of the foremost reasons I started this blog. For more information on Godin, go to sethgodin.com.

Run your own race
By Seth Godin

The rear view mirror is one of the most effective motivational tools ever created.

There's no doubt that many people speed up in the face of competition. We ask, "how'd the rest of the class do?" We listen for someone breathing down our necks. And we discover that competition sometimes brings out our best.

There's a downside, though. Years ago, during my last long-distance swim (across Long Island Sound... cold water, jellyfish, the whole nine yards), the competitiveness was pretty thick. On the boat to the starting line, there were hundreds of swimmers, stretching, bragging, prancing and working themselves up. By the time we hit the water, everyone was swimming someone else's race. The start was an explosion of ego and adrenaline. Twenty minutes later, half the field was exhausted, with three hours left to go.

If you're going to count on the competition to bring out your best work, you've surrendered control over your most important asset. Real achievement comes from racing ahead when no one else sees a path--and holding back when the rush isn't going where you want to go.

If you're dependent on competition then you're counting on the quality of those that show up to determine how well you'll do. Worse, you've signed up for a career of faux death matches as the only way to do your best work.

Self motivation is and always will be the most important form of motivation. Driving with your eyes on the rear view mirror is exhausting. It's easier than ever to measure your performance against others, but if it's not helping you with your mission, stop.

A thought on potential

2011-09-22T07:31:00.000-07:00

Micaiah is nearly 14 months old and is my youngest son. He's full of life and energy and his attitude is infectious. He emanates joy. He's scared, though. Scared to walk. In the grand scheme of things, it's not important that he walks immediately, however, I see the potential inside of him and want nothing more than for him to "let go."

Micaiah has possessed the necessary skills to be able to walk on his own for over 3 months. While holding on to our hands, the table or other movable and immovable objects he walks with precision and boldness. When he lets go, he suddenly sits or falls to his hands and knees. It's a perfect picture to how everyone handles the potential inside of them.

I know Micaiah can walk on his own, but he's not interested right now. And that's alright. If he would just let go while we're moving around the living room floor, he would see for himself that he can do it. For a 1-year old boy, there's no urgency, but for adults there is.

Has someone pointed out the potential that is inside of you and you're to scared to let go? Micaiah cannot see the potential in himself, but I can. Much the same, we may not be able to see the potential inside ourselves. We need others to speak to our potential. Micaiah cannot comprehend this, but you can. Let go and walk. Tap into the potential that rests inside of you.

Character on display

2011-09-21T11:54:00.000-07:00

“You never display your character more clearly than when you speak about the character of others.” – John C. Maxwell

I conducted my very own social experiment last night. I decided to put our character development at Victory into action with a small activity. In a room full of high school boys, there were some uncomfortable individuals because they had to dig deep and go beyond surface level. This is difficult for the male gender.

The objective was to respond to Maxwell's quote above. Each of them had to speak about the character of everyone else in the room. They were instructed to write down the desirable character traits that each person possessed. It forced them to look at the good things others had to offer and it began to reveal their own character. It was fun. Looking for good things in others created a supremely positive atmosphere and everyone felt good. When we honor others, we feel good about doing it. If we truly value others, we should be constantly honoring them.

They gave me their piece of paper as they left and I'm compiling all of the information about each individual. On Thursday, I will give each of them their own piece of paper with all of the great things others said about them (they don't know this yet). I'm not doing it to build their self-esteem; I dislike self-esteem. It was done so they gain self-respect.

The vision I had for this activity is that these young men would take the character traits others see in them and grow to own and embrace who they are so they can step into the greatness they were created for. Until they know who they are, they won't know what to do...identity before activity.

A culture that encourages failure

2011-09-19T11:01:00.000-07:00

I worked at a golf course when I was in high school. I was a very good worker, but one day I made a very significant mistake. I was driving a golf cart with a container of gasoline in the back and, unbeknownst to me, the gas tipped over and ran onto the grass across two fairways. Needless to say, it killed the grass, leaving a very distinct stripe that revealed my path. It was the biggest failure I had while working there, however, my boss handled it in a way that was extraordinarily important to my growth as a man.

He called me into his office and said that I had made a huge mistake. One so large, in fact, that he had considered letting me go. He knew I didn't do it on purpose and that I was his best worker, so he kept me on. He and I both knew full well that I would take that failure and turn it into a learning experience to become better. And I did. It had cost him money, but instead of wasting it by firing me, he invested in me.

This picture reflects the environment that is essential to the success of every organization, business and team. The environment that doesn't punish failure is extremely valuable. In my wrestling room, I encourage individuals to take risks, push themselves and, inevitably fail. I must give my athletes the comfort to know that we are engaging in a celebration of experimentation and that failure isn't an option; it's mandatory. This will inevitably lead to emotional margin and even more personal accountability and responsibility.

We live in a world that is hell-bent on punishing us for our mistakes. To be counter-cultural, instead of "giving them hell" for their failures, my objective is to "give them heaven." This changes everything.

Make room for risk and failure in the lives of others. Who they're created to be depends on it. "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anais Nin. Why remain a caterpillar when you were born to be a butterfly?

I am proud of Helen Maroulis

2011-09-15T15:28:00.000-07:00

2011 World Championships - Istanbul, Turkey - September 15, 2011

I have countless emotions after a long, hard fought day of wrestling. I don't know where to begin. Helen Maroulis wrestled today and, as her personal coach, she's the reason I'm here. The ultimate goal was to win a medal (a gold one). It didn't happen this time, but I've never been more proud of her than I am right now.

Helen wrestled her heart out today. Literally. She gave everything she had. I believe she left it all on the mat and took the ultimate risk: putting everything on the line. She fell just short of her goal to win a medal at the world championships when she was defeated in the bronze medal match. It completely broke her heart, and it broke mine, too.

Helen is a once in a lifetime athlete. She's the kind that every coach dreams of working with, but doesn't get the chance to because they're so rare. Physically, she has as much, if not more, talent than anyone in the entire world at her weight class (I have testimonies from others to back this up), but that's only a small portion of what makes her special. Her eagerness and readiness to learn and grasp new concepts is also something that separates her from others. However, the thing that makes her great, and many others don't get the opportunity to see, is that intangible thing I refer to as the soul, or who she is at the core. You're going to get to see it soon, though!

Deep down inside this promising athlete is a little girl who is beginning to understand fully who she is and who God has created her to be. Over the past few years she has been growing into an amazing woman by overcoming complicated obstacles and struggles by confronting them head-on. She is destined for greatness in wrestling, but that's only a small portion of what she is going to do with her life. I believe with all of my heart that she is going to change the world for the glory of God! It's already budding and she's on the verge of a breakthrough - physically, mentally and spiritually. She's honing many nuances to the tactical and technical aspects of wrestling and is constantly making strides in the right direction on the mat. What's more is she's taking gigantic leaps in her faith and understanding of who she is. This excites me immensely. Our theme for this tournament was "identity before activity," and for her to know what to do, she must first know who she is.

Losing stung her today. And it should have. We talked through the emotions and arrived at a very productive place. She'll never forget what this feels like and it certainly adds a little fuel to her fire. She got a taste of the success she aspires for and never wants to feel what she's feeling tonight ever again. These are all positive takeaways from a rough situation and she's handled them like a real woman of God. She's come very far in many areas in spite of the pain she experienced today.

The reason I was thrust into the middle of this move of God is to be the guiding mentor/coach that helps point her to the Truth. My role is to help her realize the prodigy inside of her and to help her know how to love and be loved. I'm extremely proud of her and believe in her more now than I did yesterday. Greater things are yet to come and greater things are still to be done.

Should we park in the driveway?

2011-09-14T16:44:00.001-07:00

2011 World Championships - Istanbul, Turkey - September 14, 2011

When I was a kid, we always parked in the driveway at my grandpa's house. This made me feel uncomfortable because all of my aunts and uncles parked in the street. What made us special? Why were we privileged to be in the driveway closest to the door? It never made sense and always made me uneasy. We hadn't earned that right, but took it anyways.

This is kind of how I feel today. In the wrestling world, we (USA) are sort of parking in the driveway, but we haven't earned the right and I'd even say we don't deserve it. I love the United States and believe in USA Wrestling, however, I'm starting to think that we're taking for granted some of the wonderful opportunities we have. I believe in USA Wrestling, trust me, I do, and the last thing I want to do is stick my foot in my mouth, but consider a few of these facts below.

We have 24-hour security and police escorts back-and-forth to the hotel. Many teams cram into one bus to get to and from our hotel, but we have our very own. The Turkish delegation believes it's important to have extra security for the US. I'm not sure if they think we're uncomfortable here or if they're uncomfortable with us being here. China and Israel also have additional security.

We are the only country at this event that brings "practice partners." This year, all of them individuals placed 2nd at the US World Team Trials. Their responsibility is to be on call and to support the needs of our World Team. They also have the opportunity to be a part of the World Championships and see what takes place behind the scenes so they're prepared when it's their turn. In addition to the extra wrestlers, we have a team chiropractor, athletic trainer, massage therapist, nutritionist and team leader. The women's team has five coaches, which I believe is reasonable (especially with emotional needs and all, wink wink). There are many more coaches for men's freestyle and Greco-Roman and a plethora of additional delegation members. I think this is fantastic and appreciate that we are in a position as an organization to make this happen, however, after three days of competition, we have zero medals. It doesn't compute, so I feel like we're parking in the driveway when we should really be in street with everyone else. Seriously, Azerbaijan, North Korea, Kazakhstan, etc. have medals, but we don't.

I think we've had some unfortunate things occur that have put us in this place right now, but we do have ALL the resources we need...maybe we have too much. I don't know. I don't make those decisions and I don't want to. I just feel the same way I did when we used to park in the driveway at my grandpa's house while everyone else was in the street. Do we really deserve to be this close to the door? Is it making us better?

A taksi ride and more adventures

2011-09-13T14:05:00.000-07:00

2011 World Championships - Istanbul, Turkey - September 13, 2011

The women's freestyle team begins wrestling tomorrow. We have two wrestlers competing in what will be the first of three consecutive days of our women being on the mat. Clarissa Chun and Whitney Conder, 48 KG and 51 KG, respectively, are the first to go; they weighed-in today. Helen Maroulis, Kelsey Campbell and Elena Pirozkhova weigh-in tomorrow at 3:30 PM and compete on Thursday. My task for tomorrow is to make sure these three get down to weight and make it over to the venue in the afternoon. I have a good feeling about our women's team this year. They're ready to compete.

I had few more travel adventures today. In the morning, I went to the Blue Mosque (Sultan Ahmed Mosque) and the Grand Bazaar. The mosque was beautiful and much larger than I expected. It was facing the Hagia Sophia, which was equally as stunning. There is a storied history behind each landmark and both have Christian roots dating all the way back to the time of Constantine and Constantinople. There were a lot of tourists in the area because the Blue Mosque is Istanbul's most well-known attraction. The Grand Bazaar is also of great interest to those visiting the city. I wasn't all too impressed, though. It was a huge indoor maze of counterfeits and knock-offs. The vendors weren't extremely pleasant, either. Areas of it did smell fantastic because of the soaps and spices.

The part that became adventurous for me was when I decided to take a taxi (taksi) to the fitness center to meet Helen for a workout. I wanted to write my entire blog about this single event, but there were other important things from today. It lasted approximately 40 minutes. Let's just say, driving in reverse down a busy street, going the wrong way down a one way, "bumping" into pedestrians, making an unscheduled stop so the driver could settle an issue with a previous payment, going over 160 km/hr (~100 mph) and arriving 20 minutes late is about all I have space for tonight. It was crazy and very enjoyable. The driver, Ghengis, and I talked to each other the entire time despite not understanding each others' language. He was like my own tour guide and pointed out some of local's favorite places to be in Instanbul. It cost me $20, but I think I paid for the experience, not the transportation.

Mmm, Turkish street food

2011-09-12T11:24:00.000-07:00

2011 World Championships - Istanbul, Turkey - September 12, 2011

I went to the arena today. Finally. Now, it feels like a wrestling trip. We had our first practice this morning before the first session of Greco-Roman. The Sinan Erdem (name of the venue) is quite spectacular. It's as large as any arena I've seen in the US and it had a great feel today. Those Turkish fans are excited!

Every trip/tour I'm a part of has its own unique feel. However, once we become aware of the culture and settle in, it quickly becomes business as usual. One of my favorite parts about tours is when we get on the mat for the first time. It's familiar territory and suddenly everything becomes clear. The wrestling circle is the same size everywhere in the world and the mats almost feel like a "sanctuary." Once the first workout is finished, we feel very comfortable. Even the city seems easier to navigate.

I'm very impressed with the locals here in Istanbul. They are extremely helpful and surprisingly nice. I was expecting a cold feeling from them, especially being American. It's been the exact opposite. Apparently, I look Turkish, but that's not why they're friendly. It's genuine. People make eye contact and smile and some even walk us to our destination - not all by our choice. I bought two bottles of counterfeit cologne/perfume today from a guy who insisted on walking with us. I bartered the guy down to the price of a Coke Light, so I figured they would be good gifts (don't tell anyone they're fakes). It happened on our way to the Grand Bazaar, which happened to be closed tonight. That's on the itinerary for tomorrow morning before a day full of practice, watching wrestling and making weight.

Dinner was an exciting time of the day for me. I ate dinner at a very hopping street vendor. The food was above average, but not out of this world. I had to experience it, though. Kabobs and a gyro-type thing that consisted of shaved lamb meat, fries and veggies all rolled into something that resembled a burrito. Stands like this one are literally on every street corner.

Something else that was interesting today was how an Iranian wrestler forfeited to an Israeli wrestler in the first round of competition. This happens frequently at international competitions. Since Iran doesn't recognize Israel as a country, they choose not to compete based on drastic political and religious difference. It was a little shocking that it actually happened today, though. This tournament has serious qualifying implications for the Olympic Games. In order to compete in the Olympics, countries are required to qualify each weight class in each style. The top 6 in this event earn a spot for the their country in the 2012 Games. The Iranian wrestler was almost a shoe-in to finish in the top 6, but he chose not to compete and did not place. The country will now have to qualify the weight through a difficult qualifying procedure. There are certainly bigger things in life than wrestling, but come on, this is the World Championships and there were plenty of "outs" before you got to the biggest stage on Earth.

Istanbul, we have arrived!

2011-09-11T15:07:00.000-07:00

2011 World Championships - Istanbul, Turkey - September 10-11, 2011

My first entire day in Istanbul is in the books and I'm ready for some much needed sleep. I caught a short nap on the plane ride, but that's been all I've had since I left my house at 6:00 AM on Saturday morning. I did have a great flight followed by an eventful day, so I'm glad I've stayed awake.

The flight from New York to Istanbul took close to 10 hours. Over half of my time was spent talking to my extraordinary 81-year old neighbor. She's the epitome of a world traveler and is on her way to the Holy Land by way of Istanbul on a cruise ship. She was a fascinating woman who was full knowledge and life. In addition to her wonderful traveling stories around the entire world, her first husband was a B-17 navigator. My grandfather was a B-17 pilot so we had a lot to talk about. We shared many similar interests when it came to American history, especially WWII, and politics. It was a very enriching experience for me and I reveled in the moment. It's not too often that I get uninterrupted conversations of the kind. It inspired me to make more time for conversations like this with my grandma. This woman is indeed a superstar traveler.

My own travels went without a hitch this time, which is uncharacteristic of my trips. Well, I guess it went without a hitch today...not so much yesterday. I arrived in Istanbul, found a ride to the hotel immediately and spent the day exploring our routes to and from the airport, venue, mall and other hotel. There were some unforeseen adventures, but that just gives more substance to the experience. In a way, it becomes a journey. I was very happy when I finally saw the rest of the team, coaches and team leaders. We have an amazing delegation. Our team leader, chiropractor, athletic trainer and coaches are like a family. It makes everything a lot more fun, that's for sure.

I have accepted that I'm going to be comedic relief for many others on this trip because of my passport debacle from yesterday. They even found humor in my Mighty Thor t-shirt (which is absolutely awesome!). I'm secure enough in who I am to be able to take this kind or ridicule for a week. Because we are like a family, we poke fun at each other a lot. It's somewhat amusing to all how interested local men seem to be in me and not the 15 women I'm traveling with. Oh, there's only so much that words in a blog can explain.

What a Turkey I am...

2011-09-09T15:43:00.000-07:00

2011 World Championships - Istanbul, Turkey - September 9, 2011

I went to the airport this morning to get on a plane to Istanbul, Turkey and found out that my passport was expired. Apparently, they don't let people fly to other countries without a valid passport...who knew? Well, after hours and hours of deliberating, I got a new passport and a new flight to Istanbul for tomorrow morning.

I can tell you this as a matter of fact: your attitude is a choice. Last night at practice we talked about it and a good attitude has been my biggest contributing factor to the world team this year. It can be difficult to stay positive, but I assure you it is easier to keep a good attitude than it is to regain it.

I was supposed to be on an airplane en route to Turkey, instead, I spent the morning and most of the afternoon in Minneapolis at the passport renewal office, re-booking my flight, doing some damage control with the responsibilities I missed out on in Istanbul, and getting some quality time with Liz and the boys. It's actually quite amazing how well it went and how helpful everyone was. It's refreshing to see others reach out. I'm going to lie, I was overly optimistic and determined so I had a very positive attitude the entire day. I brown-nosed my way up the chain of commands and got everything expedited and had numerous fees waves. This undoubtedly made it easier for me to stay positive because, even though I made a mistake, I felt like I was in the middle of a move a God. Of course it was "bad luck," but my "good luck" far outweighed the bad.

I did miss my flight today so I'll be in Turkey one day later than originally planned, however I got a surprise free day with my family; it all became a bonus. I ended up getting to have a nice meal at home, chat with some friends and watch Lemonade Mouth with my beautiful bride. Tomorrow, I'll be in Turkey.

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Follow the World Championships at TheMat.com's Special Event Coverage. This section will include matches, brackets, photos, video interviews, blogs and chats.

Let's remember history

2011-09-07T06:03:00.000-07:00

I graduated in 2003 from the University of Wisconsin with a Bachelor of Arts in History. I guess this means I'm a real "historian." However, I really didn't develop a deep sense of appreciation for history until I was already done with my studies. I always enjoyed historical facts, but I'm becoming increasingly more aware of historical lessons. Many great and not-so-great moments in history reveal important trends and principles that should not be ignored. We would do well to remember history.

Okay, I'll get to my point here this morning and I'll keep all of the political jargon out of this blog because I'm sure that's where you thought it was going. Right now, I'm talking about "Sports Entertainment," also known as professional wrestling/WWE/All-Star wrestling. Seriously, stay with me on this one though because there is a specific point I want to make.

Last night I watched WWE's 50 Greatest Superstars of All Time and woke up this morning with a very unsettled feeling because our culture and society completely disregard history and the impact it has had on today. The host of the program said it would be a controversial list and he was correct. Hulk Hogan #23? Seriously? 23? Ridiculous. In exactly what universe does Hulk Hogan rank as the 23rd-greatest superstar in WWE history? Apparently, it's the same universe in which Rey Mysterio is in the top 10. Even Edge was ranked ahead of Hulk Hogan. Unacceptable. Consider this quote from Hogan: "God created the heavens and the earth. Then He created us. Then He created these 24-inch pythons!" Sounds about right to me. I would put him at #1, but could see legitimate claims for others, but he is definitely greater than Jerry "The King" Lawler.

In all seriousness, though, here's what I discovered: as a culture, we have absolutely no appreciation for the things that happened before the technological boom. Things before cable television, the internet and social media aren't even on our radar anymore (Hulk Hogan helped make cable television popular, by the way). If it hasn't been discussed on a forum it's irrelevant. If people haven't made a Google Image of you their profile picture, you miss out on being included in the category of "great." If you're not self-gloating and promoting your accomplishments, apparently, they never happened.

I see this in the confined [amateur] wrestling world all too often. People don't understand that wrestling has been around since the time Jacob wrestled the angel (Genesis 32). This story embodied the mental and physical toughness that young wrestlers only dream about. Yet, still they dare to think they've crossed into uncharted territories in the categories of commitment, dedication and work ethic. Jacob wrestled the true "grind match" and wrestled through serious injuries and fatigue. Read the story. Just in case you weren't aware, wrestling wasn't invented when your son decided to be a part of it.

There is a long and storied history that went before you and if you choose to recognize it, you have the privilege to be connected to the all time greats that went before you. In wrestling and in life. Please, let's remember history.

PROM

2011-09-03T16:00:00.001-07:00

I just watched "Prom" and I loved it! It's the most recent DVD release by Disney. I exceedingly enjoy teenage drama flicks from the John Hughes days with the Brat Pack to the recreation of Shakespeare with "10 Things I Hate About You" and even "Mean Girls" or "Easy A." I love them all. I give each new one a try in hopes of one of them making me feel the same things I do when I watch Lloyd Dabler in "Say Anything." So, of course I was excited to rent "Prom."

I'm not interested in writing a review of the movie (if you're interested, it's worth the rent). Instead, I want to share what it is that I like about prom because that's the type of impact the movie had on me.

I loved my junior prom at River Falls High School. It is one of my most memorable moments. So, as a student teacher at Waunakee High School, I jumped at the opportunity to chaperone prom. Of course, I reveled in the opportunity to dress up and take my new bride out for a fancy date, however, I was most interested in being a part of something special in the lives of my students. It was wonderful. Prom provides a place where everyone can "shine." Each individual gets his/her share of the spotlight and moment of recognition. As a teacher, I saw extreme value in this. I believe educators should be seeking for ways to set-up everyone for success. Too often, students, athletes and individuals are set-up to fail...and they do. Sometimes, it's expected. I felt prom was a time for me to see my students in a different light and in an entirely new perspective. It was 7 years ago and I still recall how many of them glowed. Everyone goes to prom and does their best to represent the best of themselves. I like that.

Prom is a microcosm representative of that little boy or girl inside each of us that wants to shine and stand out. We all want to step out of our shell and be someone and do something great. Prom is the only place where everyone wins and everyone gets to experience that euphoric moment of standing on top of the mountain, publicly recognized and praised. It's a time to show the world an expression of who you are. Prom is some teenagers only chance to do this and that's important to me.

Fantasy Football (or Fellowship Football)

2011-09-01T06:44:00.001-07:00

"You're really into it this year." These are the words of my wonderful and supporting wife as I explain to her that I will be going to Keith's house for our Fantasy Football draft later today. This, of course, coming from the same individual who, for the first time in her life, sleep walked last night. When I asked her what she was doing, she said she was drafting players. So, who's really into it this year? Liz has been dreaming about this day. And it's finally here.

To be upfront, I'm actually no more into it this year than I was last year. The difference with this season is it's the second season with the same group of men. We now have a history and our league has an identity. This makes it much more exciting. As I promised last year, I drafted as many Packers as I could and started out 5-0. I was feeling good about myself then God humbled me. I played a different pastor in three consecutive games (6, 7 and 8) and God obviously had favor over his flock and I fell to 5-3. I set myself up for it by calling my team the Grasshoppers ("It is He who sits above the circle of the earth and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers." - Isaiah 40:22). Before I knew it, I was at .500 and watched my fellow Packers fan sneak into the playoffs on a tie breaker and win the entire league. I could almost hear God mocking me by reciting Pedro Cerano from Major League: "Look at the scoreboard now, Grasshopper!"

This year we have a trophy, so there is a $5 buy-in. It's probably not as good as 'The Sheva' from The League, but it's a trophy, nonetheless. I didn't want my fantasy football experience to be about money, instead, I do it for good, fun Christian fellowship. It's true. I do. I'm extremely competitive, but I'm in it for the friends (isn't that what everyone who doesn't win say?). Men need fantasy football because they need community, fellowship and friendship. I'm manly enough to admit this and ESPN, the NFL and many other corporations are smart enough to exploit it.

We're in a keeper league and I got to keep Aaron Rodgers and Roddy White. Without Rodgers, I'd be completely uninterested and probably wouldn't even update my weekly roster. My brother spent some quality time with White at the Olympic Training Center this summer and is working on a marketing campaign that includes former wrestlers like him. I also traded up to assure that I could pick-up Jermichael Finley (Packers tight end). I think I'll have a good team of Packers once again. I will be drafting with my heart, not with my head. I'm a complete homer. Ryan drafts with his head, not his heart. Oh, and by the way, he's the reigning champion.

If you're interested in my commentary on last year's draft, see Does Fantasy Football Really Matter? from August 28, 2010.

Sharpening the ax

2011-08-31T06:15:00.000-07:00

I was on my computer last night and a warning popped up that told me the battery was critically low and needed to be charged. It flashed a picture with a meter that showed there was only 7% of the battery life left. I knew I needed to recharge the battery, but didn't feel pressure to do so immediately because I was able to forecast how long 7% would last.

I do the same thing with my gas tank. The warning light comes on to warn you to get gas. The car will still function properly for a short while, but I know I must refuel.

Don't you wish you had a low fuel or recharge the battery light on your life sometimes? Not just the warning light, but a gauge that showed you exactly how much power you had left? Too many people operate on critically low and don't take the necessary time to properly recharge or refuel.

"Burnout" is a common term in the sports world. There are a variety of reasons people burn out and it's not unique to sports. The biggest reason people burn out is because they don't recognize the importance of recharging their batteries. They run on low and believe pushing through it is what makes a true champion. Wrong. No doubt, overcoming adversity and pushing through difficult times is essential, but so is refueling. I use the term "sharpening the ax."

The idea of sharpening the ax comes from Ecclesiastes 10:10. It says that when an ax is dull, much more strength and skill is required. If the proper time is taken to sharpen the ax, the work can actually get done sooner. Somehow, we view that time away from chopping the tree as unproductive, however, when you return to the tree with an ax that is sharp, you become much more effective. Basically, Solomon says, "work smarter, not harder."

To sharpen the ax, I take time away from the pressures and stress of life to simply reflect and clear my mind. I enjoy mountain biking, watching movies, shopping, writing, etc. I love spending time with my family, but to give them everything they deserve, I need time to myself recharging. You do, too. Everyone does.

Using a dull ax requires great strength, so sharpen the blade. That's the value of wisdom; it helps you succeed. - Ecclesiastes 10:10 NLT

Personal ownership

2011-08-30T21:02:00.001-07:00

The single most unifying trait among athletes at Victory School of Wrestling is personal ownership. A large percentage of those who choose to participate in the opportunities we offer have already started to take ownership in and responsibility for their actions, decisions and influences. The mark of a champion is being able to take responsibility for their life. It's part of the internal structure of those who engage and change; who make progress and succeed.

I'm in a unique position as a coach because I have the good fortune of being able to work almost exclusively with athletes that crave more than the minimum requirement. They're already striving for excellence, so I don't play a very large roll in needing to externally motivate them. I still do, though. They may be internally motivated (personal ownership), but I can help direct them and coach their heart and spirit so they can understand who they were created to be and can stay on the right path.

In athletics, personal ownership focuses primarily on the actions that affect the outcomes of competition. At Victory, this is only a small part of the equation. Personal ownership needs to move beyond scores and statistics and into the essence of who someone is. You have to own who you are so you can own who you will become.

I encourage my athletes to take ownership of who they are as well as the choices the make. They need to be able to keep from telling themselves a story that defers responsibility. They need to tell the truth. They need to be real with who they are. We all have an internal narrative that keeps us from doing this. It's easier to shift the blame and point fingers. It's difficult to admit that responsibility may have been on your own shoulders. You must know who you are if you ever want to break that trend.

The personal ownership we seek demands identity before activity. When you know who you are, you'll know what to do.

Do you hear me? Are you listening?

2011-08-28T13:12:00.000-07:00

In the movie White Men Can't Jump, black and white basketball hustlers join forces to double their chances. Woody Harrelson plays Billy Hoyle (the white man) and Wesley Snipes is Sidney Deane (the black man). After a set-up, Billy puts a Jimi Hendrix tape into his car stereo. He start to jam, but Sidney is appalled so he launches into one of the greatest dialogues in the recent history of cinematography. Sidney effectively tells Billy that he might choose to listen to Jimi Hendrix, but as a white man, he doesn't really hear what he's saying. He's suggesting that Billy doesn't comprehend or understand what Jimi is putting out because he cannot relate to what he goes through in life as a black man.

I love the scene and watch it on YouTube periodically. However, it's important to note that Sidney is confused by the proper use of these two verbs. His message was that Billy cannot "listen" to certain music even if he "hears" it. The difference between hearing and listening is an important distinction to make if you want to be the most effective communicator you can be and the most effective Christ follower.

Hearing is the ability to perceive sound by detecting vibrations through the ear. It's one of the traditional five senses, so almost anyone can do it. Listening, on the other hand, is a communication technique that requires the listener to understand, interpret and evaluate what they hear. Hearing comes naturally while listening must be developed. Just because you hear doesn't mean you're listening.

As you know, I have a million ideas in my head and enjoy bouncing a few of them off Liz every now and again. Sometimes, I choose to do so when she is distracted by other things. She has the ability to multi-task extremely well, however at times she's limited to do so. In those latter moments, as I'm talking, she arbitrarily throws in the statement, "I'm listening" as she continues doing what it is she's doing. She'll even repeat what I say. I'll stop her and say, "you hear me, but you're not listening." Fortunately, we have a wonderful communication base and these moments don't cause us stress. We don't simply want to be heard, we want others to actively listen to us.

One of the most radical teachings of Jesus occurs in the Gospel of Luke when, in chapter 6, he instructs us to love our enemies and do good to those who hate us (v. 27 NIV). This is undoubtedly one of the most perplexing and difficult things to understand about the life of Jesus. What I find interesting is that he opens this statement by saying, "but to you who are listening I say..." He doesn't want us to simply hear what he's saying. He wants to listen, in order to heed or make it a practice to do as he says. I equate it to when a coach says, "hey, listen up..." The coach isn't looking to be heard, he wants his pupils to listen, take action and respond accordingly. Simply put, do what he says.

Do you listen to Jesus, or do you simply hear what he says. By hearing, you might even be able to recite what's being said. Listening, however, demands that you engage in and do what is said. If you've taken the step to read the Bible, take courage in listening to Jesus.

Life as we know it (more like, life as I know it)

2011-08-23T13:54:00.001-07:00

I have discovered that I really love writing. This blog has been a lot of fun. I enjoy sharing my thoughts and being transparent. Sometimes, it's nice to just write about life - what I'm doing. So, here's a quick catch-you-up-to-speed version of what's going on right now.

1. Life is good! My wife is amazing. I don't simply love her. I adore her. We have two little boys that bring us so much joy. I've always loved little kids, but I didn't know I was allowed to have this much fun as a parent.

2. Last summer I read the book Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick. I read it again this summer because we did a small group study on it. I can say, without reservation, that this is the best book I've ever read. It challenged my faith in God and has forced me to live out my faith with audacity. This includes being bold in what I do and how I pray. Warning: Acts 4:20 ("For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.").

3. I haven't worn flip-flops in over two years. I guess this is significant because it reveals that I'm actively participating in the wellness of my body (fyi: flip-flops are terrible for you). This is a tricky subject because I've always been an athlete, but now that I'm not an athlete, my body responds differently to many things, especially food. Two weeks ago, Isaiah told me there was a baby in my belly. Um, no! There isn't. However, my tummy isn't rock hard like it used to be (tear), so I've been moving in the direction of making better decisions regarding the wellness of my body. For the past three days, I've been a self-proclaimed vegetarian and I don't drink nearly as much Mountain Dew as I'd like to. Everyone warned me that my metabolism would slow down and I'm ashamed to say they were right (admitting I was wrong - ouch!).

4. I've grown up. A lot. I still think I'm a kid at heart, but I'm much more of a man everywhere else. Obviously, increased responsibilities as a business owner, parent, etc. have contributed to this. I also think realizing that "pride comes before a fall" is not just a convenient saying, it's a principal of life. As a result of understanding this the hard way, I make humility my life's greatest pursuit. I pray that God will allow me to be humble so he doesn't have to humble me. Humility is my top priority in my marriage, in my career path and in my walk with God.

5. Wrestling is still one of my greatest earthly passions. Without needing to explain myself much, I believe it is God's greatest tool for me to have a lasting and eternal impact on this planet with others. Wrestling is my ministry, however, there are times I dislike the culture of wrestling so much that I wouldn't mind having nothing to do with it ever again. There are a lot of ugly things in wrestling that make my skin crawl, especially watching "wrestling people" become the worst enemy of wrestling. Still, I know God has put me on this earth to be submersed in the wrestling culture. I'm placed here for a purpose, guided by a passion and EMPOWERED by the Spirit of God.

6. Social networking is pretty cool. I know there are still people, albeit very few, that are afraid of Facebook and Twitter. I love reconnecting with people and taking advantage of the opportunity to share my life with others. It's fun. It's also important from a business standpoint, which is why I started a Victory fan page and maintain a blog. It's also a great avenue for me to share little "nuggets" of Truth and represent Christ. Beyond that, though, it's fun. My kids are Facebook sensations. Almost daily someone tells me they watch my videos. I remember telling Liz (in our first year of marriage) that I loved her so much I wanted to share it with everyone. Now, it's the same with my kids and the rest of my life. Social networking allows me to share my life, and the things I love, with everyone!

7. Unsolicited advice: if I could tell you one thing in a few words and nothing else, I would say, "repent and love God." But, I get to tell you more than one thing, right? In fact, I'm probably in a position to tell you as many things as I'd like. It's my blog and you're reading it. Seriously, though, to be consistent with who I am and what I'm about, I would say, "do what it is that you were created to do." There are many layers to this statement and I'm dead set on this idea. We don't need you to be like anyone else. We don't need you to think like everyone else. We need you to be the man or woman you were created to be. It's extremely difficult in application, but very simplistic. Don't be afraid to be you. Don't strive for "normal." In case you haven't noticed, normal isn't working. Be unique. Be weird. Be great and be YOU. Embrace your individuality and change the world while doing it. What's inside of you that only you have is precisely what the world needs. You're the only YOU that will ever live.

Sometimes, things aren't as the seem...

2011-08-22T12:37:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we were leisurely driving back to the dorms after church having conversations about the meaning of life and other fun topics like that (I'm currently staying at the Olympic Training Center). We were near our destination when we were forced to come to an abrupt stop because of two dogs in the street. One was standing in my lane and the other was running back and forth from the yellow line to the curb. I had a dog lover in the backseat with me and she was scared out of her mind for these dogs (inside joke: almost as if the dog's name was on the Deathnote). She wanted to jump out of the van and rescue them. Meanwhile, there was a 20-something male wearing Tom's who was trying to get the dogs out of the street. It was a 20 second episode that seemed like 10 or more minutes, you know what I mean?

Well, the dude in the Tom's grabbed the dog that had been running around by his collar and threw him to the curb. Literally, he threw him. 15 feet in the air. The dog landed in the grass and took off running in the opposite direction. Said passenger lost her mind! She wanted to get into this guy's face and let him know that his actions were not alright. Then, both dogs ran across to the other side of the road and started walking down the sidewalk. My lane was opened, so I started driving. Still, the was more anger in the backseat and this particular passenger was frantically scrambling to open the window or door or anything to get at this guy. I wasn't interested in confrontation, especially over a couple of dogs, so I drove on. We were all disturbed by what we saw.

Then...in my mirror, I saw these dogs go into a house and the guy kept walking. Suddenly, it dawned on me that he wasn't the owner of the dogs. Honestly, my perception of the entire situation changed. It went from being bad to good. This guy was actually saving the dogs! He wasn't abusing them. He was clearly in a fight or flight moment and was doing his best to keep the dogs from becoming roadkill. He saved their lives! This guy was a hero. Needless to say, the backseat was in a state of confusion and extended explanations were needed to understand the events that unfolded before our eyes. We had it all wrong. Sometimes, things aren't as they seem.

It was one of those simple moments in life that have a profound impact. My perspective was wrong, and likely on good merit. I assumed the situation was one way when it was the opposite. The life application from this moment can become invaluable if we remember that the way we see something often formulates our thought process that draws conclusions in every situation. The above situation never changed, but how I saw it did.

A book review of Love Wins

2011-08-19T14:32:00.000-07:00

Ok, so this is completely uncharted waters for me. I have never formally critiqued a book. I don't know the protocol and I'm sure I will violate a number of journalistic ethics in the process, but a friend suggested on Facebook that I write my thoughts about Love Wins by Rob Bell. Since I don't have a seminary background and my exegetical skills are deficient, at best, due to my lack of training in systematic theology, hermeneutics and classic languages, I guess I'm a good person to review a book that has more depth than any other book I have read. So, with that disclaimer, enjoy my review.

Rob Bell is smarter than I am. He has extensive Biblical knowledge so I won't attempt to argue any of his points. He also has a knack for presenting thought provoking questions. I first became aware of his "Nooma" series when I was in college and found myself asking many of the questions he asks. This is what ultimately lead me to reading Love Wins: A Book about Heaven, Hell and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived. Well, that and the fact that he is being attacked by nearly every prominent member of the Evangelical world. Does a loving God send people to hell for an eternity? This is a question that I have asked time and time again and I knew this book wrestled with this same question, so I went for it.

I had heard commentary and read a few reviews about the book that said Bell was suggesting at the possibility of hinting that there could be a valid reason to ask the question about the question related to the idea that no one goes to "hell." I was intrigued, but didn't pursue much because rock star pastors are always taken out of context and are unreasonably questioned by skeptics. So I simply put Bell (and this book) into that category and moved on with my life. Then, I went to his church - Mars Hill Bible Church - in Grand Rapids, Michigan and talked to some dear friends who had read the book. Suddenly, I became very interested in this "controversy" and debate. I knew I had to see for myself what the book said, so I did the best that I knew how to block out all of the other voices in order to draw conclusions of the book on my own. I also prayed that God would let the scriptures formulate my opinion, not Rob Bell or any other pastor.

Bell's style is to ask questions. Lots of questions. I appreciate that because I do the same thing. He answers questions with more questions pulling you deeper into the story because you want answers, not more questions. He really doesn't offer many answers, but the way he phrases the questions leads to me to believe that he is hinting at something closely related to what I understand to be "universalism." Christian Univeralism is basically a school of thought that believes in universal reconciliation, or that every human being will be restored to right relationship with God. This was clearly articulated in this book. He wasn't clear on many things because he asked a lot of questions, but he does claim universal reconciliation. This is extremely appealing to many because it's difficult to have standards and accountability if, in the end, everyone gets the prize. I grew up in a church that basically taught that we could think anything we wanted to about God, Jesus and the Bible and in the end we were all good. This is obviously convenient in a world full of sinners - for which I am one. It misses the essence of Jesus, though. Why church and why Jesus if none of it matters?

This book made me think about what I believe the Bible says on many issues and who I believe Jesus to be. I'm not frightened by this. I think Jesus actively pushed people to question the status quo. He did more than anyone else. I welcome books or talks or people who challenge my faith. However, two things did scare me about this book. The first one is how arrogant we can be as created beings. We think that if it doesn't look right to us, or doesn't feel right, than God must be wrong. It's a bold statement, but I see a lot of it everywhere, not just in this book. Would God do something that I wouldn't do? That is what's being asked in this book. Does God care about people as much as I do? That's at the root. Again, I don't have any theological training, however, after reading the Bible for myself, I'm certain God cares more than I do and I'm also certain that His understanding of the world and eternity is far superior to mine. So, just because it's uncomfortable and scary doesn't mean it isn't true. Just because it's not appealing doesn't mean it isn't true. And just because I wouldn't do something if I were in God's shoes doesn't mean it's not perfect and holy. For me to even think I can put myself in God's shoes is a major problem. I don't want to be that arrogant. I guess this is my problem with Christian Universalism (which is an oxymoron, by the way). We don't get to make up our own version of God's Word to fit our circumstances.

The second thing that scares me is how quickly people are to jump on Rob Bell, the person, in response to this while attacking his claims and stance. The first thing that came to my mind when I heard one person rebuke the book was, "Oh crap! Have I become an accidental Pharisee?" As in, am I in the camp that thinks we have it all figured out? Would I be like those people who attacked Jesus for making huge and sweeping statements about what scripture says? Would I attack Jesus if he came to my church and told me I couldn't drink coffee during the service or that I have it all wrong? Am I a part of a community that believes what other people say about the Bible more than what the Bible is actually saying? This is a gentle warning that I'm not about to take lightly.

I don't agree with everything Bell has written in his interpretation of scripture, but then again, I'm not sure if I agree with all of my interpretations, either. This is precisely the point that I think is important for me to realize in reviewing this book. I'm not clear on what the Bible says in many places. And with many of the references in Love Wins, I'm flat out confused. What I do know, however, is that I'm not privileged to put my spin on what the Bible says because I either don't like it or don't get it. Strangely, the feeling that I'm left with after reading this book is that we get to put whatever spin on this whole thing that we find most pleasurable and enjoyable right now. Rob Bell says that "the Good News is that Love Wins," but the feeling I got is that the book is saying People Win. It might be one in the same. I'm not certain. Can God win, love win and people win all at the same time? Again, I'm not sure.

Exegesis is a critical explanation or interpretation of a text, especially a religious text.

Hermeneutics is the study of the theory and practice of interpretation. Traditional hermeneutics—which includes Biblical hermeneutics—refers to the study of the interpretation of written texts, especially texts in the areas of literature, religion and law.

You would have done the same

2011-08-16T07:30:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we traveled to Michigan for a wedding and on the way back to Wisconsin, we received a phone call from an individual we had met the night before. She was on her way back to Milwaukee and experienced car troubles on the interstate. She was just outside of Chicago and had pulled over in the midst of busy four-lane traffic. She was distraught and didn't know what to do, so we rushed to rescue her.

We were anxiously looking forward to getting back home to see our children. It had already been a very long weekend, but we knew we needed to help her. By the time we had called a tow truck, went to the repair shop and dropped her off at a relative's house in the area, we had added nearly four hours to our trip and pushed our ETA back to well after our kid's bed time. Knowing full well that was going to be the case, we felt blessed to help.

Often times, in similar situations, I've heard the helper respond to the many thanks with, "you would have done the same." Maybe that's true, but it misses the point and is motivated by false pretense. The big question is: will you still offer help if you know they, in fact, wouldn't do the same? I love the idea of paying it forward, but that's not what Jesus did. He straight-up paid it. As a Christ follower, I shouldn't be helping others resting in the comfort that someone will, in turn, help me sometime. I should just help others. Period.

It comes from the heart

2011-08-11T07:05:00.000-07:00

I've been listening to a series by Andy Stanley called It Came From Within. It's been one of those series that I will listen to over and over again because it's been convicting and transforming. In the first part, he preaches on the "Hidden Chamber." In Matthew 15:18, Jesus says, "But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart..."

Jesus says, as a matter of fact, that it is possible to tell what's in your heart by what comes out of your mouth. Instead of looking at our heart, we've developed a sophisticated filter that monitors our words and behaviors. Everyone tells us what to say or do, but we neglect the heart. There are issues below the surface that need to be addressed. People say, "watch what you say," or monitor and filter your words, but those words aren't just bad manners, they're a reflection of your heart. People argue this, but there are tons of studies that prove it. The staggering percentage of Olympic athletes who say they would cheat if they knew they wouldn't get caught and other studies overwhelmingly prove Jesus' words to be true.

Yesterday I had a conversation with my dad about a friend of his who has had a terrible run of unfortunate circumstances. He was injured badly in an accident, he lost his job and he's struggling. In the midst of his struggles, he's pointing fingers at the government. He might have legitimate claims, too. Meanwhile, over the past few years his hatred for President Obama has revealed a dark side of racism. He uses words to describe him that should never be used to describe another human being. He said that it's been over 25 years since he's used words like that and he's been driven to feel racism again. He blames Obama. I boldly defended mankind and said that Obama is not forcing this person to hate, rather he already had hate inside his heart. He's been able to monitor it for 25 years because it's socially unacceptable to be racist. However, when the pressure is on, his filter is punctured and his heart is revealed. I would argue that this person has been racist long before he knew who Barack Obama was. It's a condition of the heart. Scary, huh?

Another example of this unfolding before my eyes was in the way I saw respectable people treating each other during the recent events of the recall debacle. Individuals who wore tolerance banners and preached open-mindedness became some of the least tolerant and close-minded people I have ever seen. When the pressure was on, their heart was revealed. They masked their hate with a variety of cute words and ideas that seemed progressive. They had developed a filter in order to make life work and have relationships. That filter was pierced and their heart became visible to the world. It's another scary scene.

On a much smaller scale, the times you appear to act out of character reveal your heart as well. You say something or do something and quickly realize you shouldn't have and then defend yourself by saying things like, "that's so uncharacteristic of who I am" and "I usually don't do (or say) things like this." You get angry and blow-up at your wife or kids. You yell obscenities at another driver at an intersection. Every once in a while, the truth comes out. That which lurks in that dark place and has never been monitored pierces the filter.

This is why the wisest man who ever lived, Solomon, wrote in Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Solomon wrote many things, but he says this is the most important. Guard your heart because you live from the heart. You parent from the heart. You lead from the heart. What got in there that shouldn't be there? What's coming out that lets you know there's an issue in there? Life has a way of lodging things in the heart. Take responsibility for what's inside. Learn how to monitor and guard your heart, not just your words. Watch what goes in and what comes out.

I voted...again

2011-08-09T11:36:00.000-07:00

For some reason it seems like I've been to the polls an awful lot this year. It seems that way because it's true. In the past 9 months, I've voted 5 times. My kids love the "I Voted" stickers, but even those are wearing out their welcome.

Today is the recall election for the 10th Senate District in Wisconsin (as well as five other Senate Districts). It's been very overwhelming and, at times, quite disappointing leading up to this day. I already voted today and thought it was appropriate to shed a little light on what is taking place.

Members of this voting district collected enough signatures to recall Senator Shelia Harsdorf. The spring months were flooded with signs and individuals parked on the street, waving American flags and holding a clipboard, asking people to sign their name so Harsdorf could be voted out of office. Most of the individuals who signed call it accountability.

Before time expired, a Republican threw his name in the hat, got the signatures required and we had a recall primary between Shelly Moore and Isaac Weix on July 12th. Wisconsin has an open primary system so any registered voter can vote in either party's primary. Moore won.

According to the National Conference of State Legislatures, only 20 state lawmakers throughout the entire United States had faced a recall election before this recall-palooza this summer. That number is nationwide, since 1908, successful or not. I've often wondered if the recall has been abused and a precedent has been set that will lead to many more recalls in the future (say, every election).

Currently, only 19 states allow citizens to recall state officials. It's been a privilege in Wisconsin since 1926 when an amendment to our state constitution was approved by only 50.6 percent of the voters. Since then, only 4 recalls have taken place in our state and 2 of them have been successful (Sen. George Petak in 1996 and Sen. Gary George in 2003). To say this summer has been historic would be an understatement.

Here's what gets me, though: two unexpected elections here have obviously affected the budget that so many people and politicians are fighting over. Printing ballots, manning polling places, printing and publishing notices and finding funds that weren't included in the budget will cost taxpayers millions in unanticipated election costs. I'm sure there will be recounts, too. Additionally, the recall efforts have basically stopped the current Senate from operating in a regular capacity. Half of the senators have been campaigning and raising funds for these unexpected elections. My guess is that ordinary business of legislation has been put aside.

Our state constitution allows for recalls, but I have to be honest in saying that it's been frustrating, especially since I voted for Harsdorf in November. My vote didn't count then? If the recall is successful and Harsdorf is removed from the senate, do Republicans collect signatures to recall Moore the moment she makes a decision in office? If the recall is not successful and Harsdorf remains in office, then what do her opponents do now? They can't try again. According to Wis. Stat. 9.10(6) she could not be recalled again? I guess with the way this summer has unfolded, nothing would surprise me, though.

On a bright side, I've examined my political thought process more than ever before. I feel as if I'm more informed (even though I still don't have a clue). I've been a part of the process from the first rally on campus in River Falls and have carefully weighed both sides and objectively listened to others. I've been open minded and made my decision with confidence.

Let him jump

2011-08-06T12:15:00.000-07:00

This post is a response to the previous one about Isaiah jumping off the steps. We went to another friend's house yesterday and they had a front porch that was higher than the two-step landing he jumped from a few days ago. The first thing he did when we got to the house was climb the steps and walk to the edge as if he was going to jump.

I can't say I thought it was a good idea this time, but I tried to practice what I preach and I didn't get involved, however, our friend reached out for him and said, "don't jump, it's a long ways down." She was right. She grabbed his hand walked him away from the edge. This little moment caused me to think that sometimes we need to throw caution aside and let him jump.

I heard a talk almost 10 years ago by Erwin McManus and he told a story of a time his son crawled out his bedroom window onto the roof and asked his dad if he would catch him if he jumped. Dad said he would try to catch him, but couldn't promise that he would. The mother frantically told her son to get away from the edge and back inside. He elaborated on the story more, but concluded that often times, we get talked back inside when we should jump. In this particular situation, it might be a bad example, but in principle it is spot on.

We are often talked out of jumping and encouraged to go back inside because those who care for us are simply protecting us. Nearly every time, the reasons to protect him from what is perceived as an unnecessary risk are completely valid. However, the truth is those protective instincts could be holding him back from his God-given potential. Sometimes a risk is essential and completely necessary. Let him jump and be there for him if it's a success or a failure, but don't stop him from taking the leap. That might assure failure.

It was another lesson learned on the front porch. Am I going to talk my children back inside or am I going to watch them jump? Of course, they could get hurt. They might not be ready. They might not be good enough. I might just be protecting them because I care. They might need me. I might be right. But it's not about me. They might need to jump because it makes the most sense to them at the time and it's the only logical and reasonable avenue for growth. I should never get in the way of that. Sometimes I do need to let them jump.

"And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

Sometimes we need to watch and not push

2011-08-06T06:46:00.000-07:00

I'm still a new parent and I'm learning fun and exciting things everyday. The simple thoughts, naivety and curiosity of my children interests me more than anything because it teaches me so much about myself. It also gives me insight into the lives of my athletes, and oddly enough, their parents.

Yesterday we went to our friend's house for dinner. They have a son that is about the same age as our oldest. He is light years beyond Isaiah physically, though. He walked early, runs, jumps and does somersaults while Isaiah struggles to climb the stairs without assistance. It's very interesting watching his mind as he tries to keep up to this boy. Understandably, Isaiah comes home from their house with many bumps and bruises and cuts and scrapes because he pushes himself. I think it's always a great experience for him. Here's the key point, though: as the parent, I have to remain a spectator and not "push" him to keep up or even come close to comparing him.

There was a moment that I'm sure I'll remember for the rest of my life. We were in the front yard talking about landscaping with our friends and all of the kids were doing their own thing. I watched Isaiah out of the corner of my eye walk over to the front stairs and jump off. To understand how great this was, allow me to set the scene a little more clearer so you can see why this was special and then I'll get to my point.

Isaiah has low muscle tone and has been behind physically since he was born. We've seen many doctors, have heard many opinions and have concluded that he'll likely be "behind" (whatever that is) for a very long time. Conversely, he's extremely smart and articulate - probably way ahead for his age - and he communicates his thoughts and feelings often. With this combination, he's not much of a risk taker. He afraid to jump and climb stairs simply because of how difficult it is for him, but also because of the lack of security. Our hearts ache for him at times, but we're optimistic.

Going back to what happened in the front yard; I saw a determined Isaiah walk up two steps to the top of the landing. He looked around momentarily, as if he was measuring the distance to the ground and mustering up the courage to jump. He sheepishly inched his toes to the edge and took the leap. He fell first on his knees then flat on his face! I was watching, but he didn't know. He got up, literally shook off the dirt and started walking towards us as if nothing had happened. Everything inside of me wanted to jump up and down and acknowledge that he jumped for the first time. I also wanted to rush to his aid to see if he was alright after his fall (it was more of a fall than a jump). However, if I would have done either, I fear the whole point would have been missed. He likely would have cried and been even more scared to do it in the future.

I saw a little boy who, for the first time, took a risk. He pushed himself and didn't need Mommy or Daddy there to help him do it or to be there for him when he failed. Sometimes, parents need to push, but sometimes we need to let them do it alone. I think it was a crucial time in his life and if I would have been there for him, it could have enabled him. I'm proud of myself for letting him go at it by himself and I'm very proud of him for trying.

As a wrestling coach, I see many parents pushing their children when they're not ready to push themselves. If we never allow for opportunities like this to develop, they may never be ready to push themselves.

Once a Wildcat, always a Wildcat

2011-08-05T13:51:00.000-07:00

The Wildcat Hall of Fame Induction and Banquet was a tremendous event. I am humbled to be included in the inaugural class and to have been honored in such a way last Friday night. It didn’t seem right to be on this most excellent list alongside some of my heroes, mentors and “godfathers” of River Falls athletics.

As a young and aspiring Wildcat, I looked up to these individuals and had a tremendous amount of respect for each of them. My dad often told me stories of their accolades and many of these men and women were legends in our household. I desperately wanted to walk in the footsteps of their success because I knew of their athletic achievements, but I also knew of their individual character. In a world of professional sports entertainment, high school athletics provides children with role models who are tangible. I wanted to be a Wildcat more than anything because I knew the individuals in the blue and gold.

Kirby Symes is one of the all-time great ambassadors to the sport I chose and the wrestling community will forever be grateful for his service, however, I participated in opportunities created by Mrs. Timmermann before I did in those created by Kirby. I adored Mrs. T and was the only boy in her tumbling class in kindergarten and 1st grade. Isn’t it wonderful that Mrs. T broke through gender barriers and become a positive influence to even a boy like me? She is still an encouragement to me. In her acceptance speech, she referred to the fact that RFHS accepted women as coaches far before the law required it. I identify with that sentiment today as a coach of female wrestlers. She had an impact on many people. Can you imagine how many newspaper articles one would have to cut out of the River Falls Journal for every story that she directly or indirectly influenced. I hope she cut out the picture on the front page of the sports section from last week and wrote those enduring words, “Good job, Mrs. T” and sent a copy to herself.

I have so many more wonderful memories that include this group of individuals. Paul Wehking was the first “superstar” I ever met. He was bigger than life to me as a 5 year old wrestling fan. Next to my dad, Pauly Cudd has demonstrated what it means to love his family (and sports) more than any other man I know. DeWayne Bennedict is River Falls wrestling. Of course, others have played a large role in the storied program, but I doubt there’s anyone who has been there for all of it like he has. My brother and I used to go to church on Christmas Day and hoped Steve Farley and his brothers were there just so we could shake their hands. Steve’s dad taught my rowdy Sunday school class and we loved hearing stories about Steve’s pitching career. Whether it was raking Mr. Hanson’s yard or having our floor hockey games in the hallway halted by Mr. Wunrow after a home wrestling match, River Falls athletics has always been like a giant extended family of mine.

In 1998, I was fortunate enough to achieve some very lofty goals. I may have been the kid getting my hand raised on the mat, but I knew then, and know even more know, that there were hundreds of Wildcats who won that night. The support from my family, school and community was unprecedented. In fact, Karyn Bye called my house on the Monday before the state tournament that year to wish me luck and to let me know that my community had my back. She had much more important things on her mind that week, like winning an Olympic Gold Medal in Nagano, Japan, and she still took the time to offer me her support. She remembered her roots and so do I. Once a Wildcat, always a Wildcat.

Faith like a child

2011-07-27T19:40:00.000-07:00

I've been around children my entire life and always appreciate the simple wisdom they can offer at times. I enjoy watching Bill Cosby interview little kids and reading books that showcase letters to God written by youngsters. My love of children has always given me an appreciation for the idea of having faith like a child.

Jesus encourages us to have faith like a child. In fact, he even goes as far to say that without it, we won't enter the kingdom of God. In Mark 10:15 Jesus says, "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." He also says in Matthew 18:3, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Certainly Jesus isn't telling us to act like children, but to have faith like a child.

I want to share a few things I've learned from my 2 1/2 year old son Isaiah about having faith like a child. I've spent over a decade committed to understanding the marvelous wonders of our Creator and Savior. Most of that time has postured me as a learner and my little guy has been teaching me about my faith, both directly and indirectly, since he was born. This is what faith like a child looks like:

Yes Jesus
We have a book called Jesus Loves Me. Actually, it's simply the song with the same title written in a book with colorful pictures. As a family, we sing the song, too. The chorus goes, "Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. For the Bible tells me so." After reading the book to Isaiah two or three times, he conveniently renamed Him "Yes Jesus." I would show him a picture of Jesus and ask him who it was and he would say, "that's Yes Jesus." I thought it was cute. I also thought it was extremely profound. Of course a little child would call him "Yes Jesus." What else could he say? If Jesus is our Lord, shouldn't we always approach him by saying yes? As in, whatever you say or ask, my answer is yes. It's always yes and it always will be. Isn't that really recognizing him as Lord? We can't say "no, Lord" because that would negate the Lord part, right? Every time we come before God, without hesitation, we should be saying yes. Yes to His will. Yes to His plan. Yes to His life. Yes Jesus.

Thank you, please
Liz and I have been discussing the importance of teaching our kids manners since we got married. We desire to raise up children who are respectful and thankful, so it would come as no surprise that we have stressed the words "please" and "thank you." In fact, many adults have mentioned how polite Isaiah is. They can't believe he minds his manners so well. He is good at remembering to say the words and I'm pretty sure he knows the meaning (he certainly knows the value), but sometimes he gets mixed up on when to use them. Sometimes he says "thank you" when he should be saying "please" and the other way around. The interesting thing is that I think he understands that thank you should actually come before please. As in, we should first recognize the gifts we have before we ask for anything else. Jesus tells us the way to pray is by first giving thanks. After giving thanks our minds and hearts are realigned so that our pleases make sense. Steven Furtick wrote, "If you thank God for everything before you ask him for anything, it makes you realize you deserve nothing." I'm not about to show Isaiah Barney's "Please and Thank You Song." Faith like a child understands it's thank you before please.

What is God?
We were in the car on the way to Target and Isaiah said, "Daddy, what is God?" The way he asked it actually resonated in my soul. He sounded so serious and he said "what" instead of "who." As a noun, the word what can be defined as the true nature or identity of something. Who is a pronoun and (of a person) asks of what character, origin, position, importance, etc. I found it to be a very specific distinction that I had never thought of myself. Who you say God is might be the most important question you'll ever have to answer (see Mark 8:29-30 or Matthew 16:15-16), but what is God might be an equally important question. What is God? I had to think about it before I answered. I replied by saying God is love (1 John 4:8). Wow, what an opportunity to set the record straight and set my son up for a life that reflects who and what God is all about. What? Love. Who? The Christ.

Confess and be forgiven
Yesterday was the first time I had to actually "discipline" Isaiah. He wound-up and smacked Micaiah in the face. It was pretty hard, too. I was right there when it happened and attempted to scold him, but he wound up and smacked me in the face, too. I didn't really know what to do. I'll add, my parents were also there to witness it. I picked up Isaiah and quickly took him to his bedroom. He was kicking and swinging the entire way. We laid on his bed and I calmed him down and told him he cannot hit Micaiah. Ever. We seemed to have a nice little understanding between us so we went back downstairs. When we entered the living room, my dad started to ask Isaiah a question and he boldly interrupted and said, "I have to say something to Micaiah." He walked to the kitchen and said, "Micaiah, I love you. I'm sorry." My response was simple: wow! He needed to apologize and he wasn't going to let anyone get in his way. I love the picture this painted for me. I've made mistakes and often times toiled and delayed my apology for whatever reason (inconvenient, uncomfortable, timing, etc.). Isaiah wasn't distracted. He needed to confess he was wrong and ask for forgiveness. This demonstration of faith like a child was extremely convicting and humbling. How many times do I blow it and waver in my confession and/or apology to God? A lot. If we confess, God will forgive. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).

More madness from the morning show

2011-07-26T05:26:00.000-07:00

I don't want to sound as if I'm picking on Christian radio morning shows, however, I heard something else this morning that helps me identify with what others see when they look at Christians. The hosts were discussing alternative methods that can be used as mosquito repellent. It's a suitable topic on a Twin Cities radio station. One of the hosts explained how Listerine can be used to keep the nasty bug away. Simply spray it on the wood and door knobs in the area you desire to keep them from. The other host didn't seem convinced. She went on to explain how well it works and then said she had never actually done it before. Really? She gave me the impression that she swore by it. I thought, are you going to give testimony to something you've never experienced?

In the world of mosquito repellent, I guess it's alright to take someones word on a remedy they haven't tried. What do you have to lose, right? But when it comes to eternity...

I hear Christians on a regular basis giving testimony to God's Word when they haven't even read it for themselves. I've been around individuals who encourage others to trust God, but haven't done so for themselves. People telling others about the power of prayer without having been on their knees before the living God. Telling people about forgiveness while holding on to bitterness that has haunted them for years. How God can change someones life, but living as if God isn't even a part of their own. Preaching to others how they need Jesus and living in a way that doesn't demonstrate a need for Christ at all.

Those who proclaim Christ as their Savior are under a microscope. And they're accountable to a Holy God. Personally, I'm not going to give testimony to anything I haven't yet experienced for myself. I don't in everyday life and I'm certainly not going to from an eternal perspective. I've experienced the grace and love of God and it's my responsibility to tell the world about it, however, I'm not in a position to give testimony about things I haven't experienced. How can you speak on behalf of something that you haven't first experienced for yourself?

People who are seeking God are looking for something specific from Christ followers and it can be summarized in one word: REAL. They want to see authenticity. If someone is speaking about topic, they want for them to have experienced it.

Often times those who represent Christ publicly believe God's Word in their minds and not in their hearts. Simply believing God intellectually doesn't leave much room to experience God. Experiencing God is what the Bible is about. It's not about fulfilling a set guidelines or meeting expectations of others. God is not concerned about your image. He's concerned about your heart. Have you experienced God?

“Somehow Christianity has become a nonmystical religion. It’s about a reasonable faith. If we believe the right things, then we are orthodox. Frankly whether we ever actually connect to God or experience His undeniable presence has become incidental, if not irrelevant. We have become believers rather than experiencers. To know God in Scriptures always went beyond information to intimacy. We may find ourselves uncomfortable with this reality, but the faith of the Scriptures is a mystical faith. It leads us beyond the material world into an invisible reality. We become connected to the God of eternity. Who you are at the core is spirit. God is Spirit. To walk with God is to journey in the spiritual realm. ”
- Erwin McManus, Barbarian Way

Women's sports

2011-07-18T06:12:00.000-07:00

Japan winning the World Cup uplifted the entire nation, so we're told. And I believe it. In other countries, women's sports have the possibility to make a nation proud. Unfortunately, I don't see the same attitude here in the United States.

When the US women won the World Cup in 1999, female participation in youth soccer spiked. There was a slight unification process that took place, however, I was the only individual in my dorm room who actually saw Brandy Chastain tear off her shirt in excitement after the winning penalty kick. Others watched the highlights. This year, I'm afraid it was much of the same.

Hope Solo and Abby Wambach might be household names this week, but are they going to stand the test of time and be remembered? I'm willing to bet that more people know Landon Donovan's name this week than the two most popular athletes on the women's team. Why? Because Americans don't care about women's sports. The women's team was the lead story on Sports Center today, but the most memorable story was Landon Donovan's Make A Wish feature. It was touching and I appreciate it, but play that story tomorrow and let the women have their day.

I watched many games on network television last year during the men's World Cup. The women's World Cup final, which included the United States, could only be seen on ESPN (cable). Does this make sense? Probably since viewer ratings determine what programs are aired. Are the networks telling us that a Sunday afternoon infomercial is more important than the championship final of the World Cup? I guess they are.

Here's my conclusion: as a nation, we still believe women are inferior to men. How does that taste? I'm not suggesting that ABC should give the women a time slot if it's detrimental to their network because of ratings. I am, however, suggesting everyone reading this blog right now does a gut check and asks themselves why they weren't interested in this wonderful event? Is it because you had other things going on? You don't like soccer? Never mind that you watched the men last summer. Or do you think women's soccer cannot provide the entertainment you seek because they're women? Seriously, what's the deal? In the depths of your heart, do you respect women?

I started coaching women 7 years ago today. I didn't want to do it and it happened by accident. In hindsight, I can say that it was all because I didn't believe women's sports were "as important" as men's sports. There's no way I could have admitted that at the time, but after years of working with women, it's plain for me to see. When I ask someone to entertain the idea of women's wrestling and they don't, I can see that beneath the surface they're in the same place I was.

On a side note, I would add that women's sports capture the true intent of "sport" much more then men's sports do. I was watching the game with two wrestling fans and they noticed that the women were technically very sound and seemed to fake injuries much less than the men do. I stepped up and asked them when they were going to start coaching women's wrestling because women get it. They play sports for all the right reasons. Women's sports are still "pure." Women don't fake injuries because it's not in the spirit of the game. They play sports because they love sport. They're not playing for an endorsement (evidence by Solo declining endorsement offers this week), awards, honors, glory or any other external motivating factor. They just love to play. Period.

I see this in the wrestling world, too. I commented on a similar topic after last year's poor results by the men at the world championships. The wrestling community thought the sky was falling down despite the bright spot on the women's side. The women's program has been doing it the right way. They're on the right path leading into 2012. Why doesn't the male side stop to see this? Because they don't respect women. You don't hear our female wrestlers crying for more money or more attention. They just want the opportunity to play. And by the way, they're winning medals and the men aren't.

I don't know if I'm venting or trying to make a point here. I just can't help but notice how the Japanese women have successfully uplifted an entire nation and I'm sadden by the realization that we won't allow for women to uplift our nation. There's something inside us, as a country, that is keeping this from happening. What is it? In 2011 can we honestly say that we respect women? I sure hope it's something else, but I'm afraid it's not. I'm entrenched in the women's sports culture and see the uphill battles just to be recognized as legitimate. Well, women are a legitimate part of humanity and it's time for people to get past their insecurities and embrace this notion. Even though we shouldn't even need to discuss this, I'll be the one to initiate the conversation.

Kids get it, parents don't

2011-07-16T07:02:00.000-07:00

As part of my mission in youth sports, I aim to do what kids need instead of what parents want. This has been a very different approach to coaching youth sports. I stay this course no matter how many parents push back and ask for more. Additionally, I try to vocally lead the charge to do what's right with youth athletes in the wrestling community by writing, speaking and sharing ideas through many technological outlets because there is a lot of wrong taking place.

I initiated my own little experiment at a youth camp yesterday that is worth mentioning. The community that brought me in to do a camp had seen my philosophy on full display on YouTube and on our website, so they knew what they were getting. They wanted more of what is right in youth wrestling and less of what is wrong. They had been infiltrated with parents that had unhealthy perspectives and unrealistic expectations. I confronted those issues.

We engaged in a conversation at the end of camp that included 3rd-6th graders and a few parents. I do a little speech at the end of every camp and clinic and this time it was interactive and required a little audience participation. We talked about the three dimensions of the Total Athlete - body, mind and soul. We worked on the physical (body) aspect for two days, but hadn't talked about the other two. I asked a few questions to get them thinking. Even the 3rd graders were tracking with me. We talked about motivation, focus, desire, purpose and other big topics that get avoided.

Why do you do what you do? This is a question I ask kids about everything they do. It's a question of purpose and motivation. Why wrestling? Why sports? The kids answered with things such as, because they enjoyed the sport, they had fun, they love being active, etc. All were great answers. None of them included competition or winning and losing. Then I went deeper and asked them what they'd like to accomplish and what character traits they desire to gain through wrestling. The kids didn't understand what character was, which was interesting because some people tell me that's why they put their child in sports. I told them they could give me a one word answer about what they'd like to get out of wrestling. The answers blew my mind. They said respect, sportsmanship and humility! The 3rd graders got it! I asked the parents the same question and they answered with big words like commitment, dedication, teamwork, perseverance, etc. I respect these answers and believe those are also important character traits, but every one of the answers given by the parents leave more to be desired and can be used for very bad things. Some of the most committed and dedicated people in history have been some of worse in humanity (think Hitler, Bin Laden, etc. - they were extremely committed and dedicated). The traits the kids offered make the world a better a place. Genuine respect and humility can't be misused. Interesting, huh? The kids get it, but the parents don't.

The scary thing about youth sports is that we are teaching character, but we're not teaching what to do with it. Commitment and dedication alone aren't enough. Remember what Peter Parker's uncle told him? With great power comes great responsibility. This has never been more true in youth sports than today. Coaches and parents have great responsibility to teach these kids how to use these character traits to positively impact the world. These kids must learn the responsibility that comes with these "super powers," or character traits.

We can't let these children down. They need to be held to a high standard and they already know what it is. They're in it for the right reasons. Often times, Mom and Dad aren't. This is why we must do what the kids needs, not what the parents want.

Morning show mayhem

2011-07-14T14:40:00.000-07:00

I listened to the KQ Morning Show when I was in high school. Tommy B and the crew could be described best as rude and crude. Now that I'm more interested in pursuing holiness, I've turned the dial to Christian radio and accidentally catch their version of a morning show every now and then.

I appreciate the attempt to provide the Christian community with a wholesome alternative to what is on other stations. I'm not into the cheesiness of most of the content, but I'm on board with the mission. After all, one man's "cheese" can be another man's treasure. So I don't mind that the hosts often times appear as if they're not on the same planet and or even in the same universe. They're called to serve God and I believe they're doing the best they know how even if it's light years behind on the "cool level." However, as a Christ follower, I have caught a few topics and jokes that strike a chord inside my soul and stir up a holy anger. This morning was one of those times.

I listened to the lady explain how she had a very difficult time ending a relationship that had been destructive. I was all ears because I'm engaged in conversations like this with many others on a regular basis. She went on to say that she had been involved in a relationship that was unhealthy because she was seeking validation and approval from the other. It became almost abusive. I was eager to hear how she handled it because I was taking mental notes for the next encounter with one specific athlete of mine. Then, her punch line was that she broke-up with her scale this morning. The other dude laughed and people called the station and chimed in with their input. All of it was less than appropriate and gave me the feeling that they were actually poking fun at two strongholds that bind many individuals I work with. They belittled the legitimate struggle of body image and how weight control can tie into it. Also, they take a shot at those who are stuck in destructive relationships that they need to get out of immediately.

"I have a strong addiction that I cannot overcome on my own and I need God's power to help me...I'm addicted to chocolate."

"I need God's help to end a toxic relationship...with my scale."

Statements like these can most aptly be described as heartless. They don't take into account the fact that there are individuals whose struggles are severe and deadly. Of course, the scale can be a deadly relationship and I've seen enough Dr. Phil episodes to know that addictions to food can also be deadly, but come on radio show host, don't make fun of them. Her demeanor and tone plainly demonstrated that these weren't life and death situations for her. Truly heartless.

Why is it that Christians can come across as the most uncaring, unsympathetic, unloving and heartless people on the planet? As a people, do we just not get it? Are we that far away from reality that we can't be real and understand real people and real struggles? If I'm making my assessment based on radio, maybe we are. This lady clearly isn't talking about real struggles. The sad and unfortunate part of it all is sometimes this is the only glimpse that people get of Jesus. They see and hear people who aren't real and don't understand what real people face moment by moment. In my opinion, this isn't good at all. My Jesus doesn't belittle struggles and isn't afraid to talk about issues that seem too far out of bounds for safe Christian circles.

Let's stop the phony baloney Christian jokes as if we don't understand the world. We are the salt of the earth! People should see our lives (or listen to our radio stations) and see that God is good! Christian radio should bring non-Christians to a place of praise for our Father in Heaven. I think that was sorely missed this morning.

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." - Matthew 5:13-16

Are you really blessed by God?

2011-07-11T05:33:00.000-07:00

What are you doing right now that requires you to fully rely on God?

I was in my car early this morning and was spending some time being quiet. My life can become pretty noisy with a business, children and other things. I have to make time to be silent before God. Things around me can get so loud that I have difficulty hearing Him in my life, so I have to look for unique opportunities or be very intentional about finding time to do so.

I started thinking about how many of us claim to live a life in Christ and are quick to give Him credit for the blessings in our lives, but how many of us are actually doing things that force us to fully rely on God? How many of us are actually living the life we're claiming is the life abundant?

I consider myself a high-achiever, a self-starter and internally motivated. Those are ingredients that lead to success in many situations. In Christian circles, we try to sound super spiritual by saying that we're "blessed." But are we really trusting God to bless us or are we trusting ourselves and embracing an illusion of feeling blessed?

I don't want to minimize God being involved in the "little things" because I believe He is. However, I also don't want to shrink Him to my understanding and claim that everything that is taking place is an answer to prayer or a blessing. I think that kind of language becomes misleading and disingenuous. Seriously, is praying to God asking for a good deal on a car or a house respecting His power and majesty? Is getting hired an answer to prayer? Or could it be that you nailed the interview? Of course I believe that God has super-intended everything to work together intricately throughout the entire universe, but come on, did YOU get the job or did God supernaturally provide it for you? Do you get some kind of special advantage because you attend a traditional American church?

I see a lot of Christians talk about their active prayer life and are quick to give props to God for answering them because of all the good things in their life (but not the bad things, of course...they pray to get out of those things). Is that how prayer is supposed to work? The Bible is clear that we are to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17), but I also believe we are to take responsibility for our lives. Are you taking time to listen to God or are you just telling him more of your ideas and problems? Does your prayer life look more like a wish list than it does a conversation with the Creator of the Universe? Are you doing more asking or more serving? Is it about you or about God? I think it's time to stop praying if that's what prayer is. Seriously, stop. And listen.

As I listened to God this morning, I sensed Him ask me what I am doing in my life that requires me to fully depend on Him? Would my life look any different right now without God in it? It's a scary evaluation, isn't it. I've been blessed (yes, blessed is used in the correct context here) to have been involved in the lives of many individuals who have crossed the line of faith; who were far from God and now experience a relationship with Him. You know what, though? I'm pretty persuasive. I'm a good talker and know how to get to the heart of people. So, is it me saving people or is it God? I'm not arrogant enough to take the credit, however, am I sharing my life the way God wants me to or am I doing it the way I want to? These are difficult questions to wrestle with and you most certainly won't find them being asked or answered in most churches today because often times they haven't made room for God, either.

The lead character in the story is God, not you. I think it's time to hear what He has to say instead of telling Him what you think. In doing so, will you find that you're living your life as a "Christian" completely free from God? Or are you fully relying on Him each and every moment? If no one has told you this yet, let me be the first: His plan is more important and sure than yours is.

Reality check:
In Matthew 5:3-12, Jesus says these are the ones who are blessed: the poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, those who thirst and hunger for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers and those persecuted for righteousness' sake. This is a stark contrast to the spiritually obese Christians in America who claim to be "blessed." Sorry if the Truth is offensive.

Adolescence

2011-07-10T09:23:00.000-07:00

If you're interested in 20 minutes impacting the rest of your life, I suggest you watch this clip from Mark Driscoll - Adolescence: Boys Who Can Shave.

I believe God has called me to run Victory School of Wrestling for a few very obvious reasons, but none more obvious than to help teenagers grow into the MEN (and occasionally, the women) they are created to be. I believe in the potential inside each young man in this generation. Indeed, there is hardcore pressure on all sides for them to conform to the ways of the world like never before. Even still, I believe each one of them is created in the image of God to do something great with their lives. It is possible for a teenager to reverse engineer his life and live for something much greater.

We watched this video on adolescence yesterday as a group and I felt compelled to share my story with these impressionable young men. I was engaged at 22 years old and married at 23. During the dating process, Liz and I made some very serious decisions about how we were going to handle being a couple. In Madison, we were very counter-cultural. We made commitments while thinking logically, before we were in moments of temptation when emotions could have taken control of the decision making process. I'm not going to lie, remaining pure was difficult considering many of my roommates seemed to be enjoying life because they on the opposite side of the spectrum. Even with strong convictions and a lifestyle that reflected my faith, they still put pressure on me to compromise my standards for immediate satisfaction. Liz and I were married in 2003 and our relationship has grown each and every day.

Fast forward to present day. Liz and I celebrated our 8-year anniversary last week, we have two wonderful children, a fantastic house, a life-changing business and many more responsibilities that we're extremely grateful for. The irony is that these friends of mine (and I still do consider them friends, by the way) told me that I was too young to get married. By today's standards, I was. However, four of my dearest friends were quick to tell me to hold on to my youth because I'm only young once. That might be true, but it's also true that you only live once. These four are all in their 30's and remain single. Only one of them is a homeowner and only two have steady, full-time jobs. They produced very little during their 20's that made an impact. I wonder what they see when they look at my life today.

See, here's the deal: you are only young once and I believe we do need to cherish our high school and college years. There is little to no responsibility during those years. BUT, responsibility is not something that should be avoided as if it's a bad thing. It's what separates the men from the boys. Accept responsibility! Be a contributor instead of a consumer. Think long-term, not short-term.

In my 20's I was dead set against owning a mini-van. I was afraid it would cramp my style, make me look out-dated and take away my zest for life. Honestly, Liz and I fought the idea for months before we both decided it was the best option for our family. I can say without hesitation that my mom was right. Mini-vans are great. Not only have the automatic sliding doors been awesome, but what it's done for my manhood has been unrivaled in the past 5 years. It was almost like God hit me between the eyes and said, "Kevin, you idiot" (yes, God can call people idiots) "driving a mini-van is the manliest thing you can do. Your family comes before your image. Embracing your role as a father is far more manly than looking good in something else, but you know what's more? You look better in a mini-van than you could in anything else no matter what others are saying." I think He's right. Duh, of course He is.

The funny thing is, I heard similar jeers from these friends of mine about driving a mini-van. They thought, how could I drive a mini-van? Well, it's probably because I'm a man. Maybe they haven't crossed that line into manhood yet.

Politics and the parade

2011-07-08T21:34:00.001-07:00

Tonight was the River Falls Days Parade. It's a pretty big deal in this community. It lasts over three hours and nearly every local business and area marching band and royalty court participate. Every year, there are also 3-5 local politicians campaigning.

I appreciate political campaigns and I support individuals using a community parade to share their position with "the people." It's a great platform to reach potential voters. Whether I agree with the political position of the candidates, I enjoy seeing them making the attempt to be visible.

I wrote a while ago about the politics that have taken place in Wisconsin over the past 6 months and did my best to remain objective without choosing a side. I'm honestly torn on many of the hot button issues being discussed right now. What I am not torn about is my continued decision to not support the approach of a few political candidates.

Tonight the parade showed a side of educated adults that was nothing short of embarrassing. The Shelly Moore posse hurled insults at Sheila Harsdorf supporters and paraded their arrogance and pride in a disgusting manner. They shouted and booed at counterparts and those in the parade were extremely belligerent. With deep anger and bitterness they yelled to parade watchers that their children deserved more, etc. I may or may not agree with them; I'm not sure. However, I'm quick to tell MY child that he should never act like those people did tonight. Never. Ever. These individuals are supposed to represent "the people." If they represent some of my friends and heroes that I've looked up to, this scares me. This group acts more like pre-adolescent children who didn't get their way. That's not what I looked up to my whole life, is it? I feel like I was misled.

Again, I'm not choosing sides on the issues or endorsing either candidate. However, it was interesting to me that Shelia Harsdorf, who has been dragged through the mud, walked through the parade with a big smile and shook many hands. I don't know how things went elsewhere during the parade, but there were parade watchers cheering for her (right, wrong or indifferent...). Tonight, she was nice and polite. Her opponent was not. I can support polite people. Mind you, all of the banter contrasted with meekness happened within three feet of my 2 1/2 year old son.

When I attended a rally in March, I was disgusted by the behavior of those who led the charge. Once again, I'm extremely upset with the behavior of these people. I get it, there might be a lot of bad things going on in Madison (and Washington), but for crying out loud people, there are a lot of impressionable CHILDREN watching your behavior. Ironic that you say your FOR my child. The only thing you have offered him is a great big picture of whining, complaining, treating others with disrespect and many other ugly things I try hard to keep him from. Thanks for ruining my parade experience. I really hope my 2 1/2 year old son can keep the rotten campaigning out of his memory bank. I wouldn't mind if he took some of Shelia Harsdorf's courage and manners home, though. That was admirable. I want my kids to act like her.

Humility at 35,000 feet

2011-07-03T12:02:00.000-07:00

I’m writing this blog entry inside an airplane thousands of feet above the earth’s landscape. We are somewhere between Minneapolis and Colorado. I forced myself to pull out my computer to share what is currently taking place inside of me and outside of this airplane. I’m constantly trying to get my teeth into the idea of humility so I felt compelled to share what I’m thinking right now about it.

I’m on a typical Delta Connection flight. You know, the kind with two seats on each side of the aisle? There’s no first class or business class or any class. Everything is happening within close quarters. Most of us had to gate check our bags because of the limited space in the overhead compartments. I had aspirations of getting some work done and listening to my iPod, but that hasn’t happened yet because I have been attentively staring out the window for nearly an hour. I love the window seat because I always seem to experience humility on a whole new level. Looking out the window, this sort of shrinking feeling settles in.

One of my favorite preachers defines humility as simply seeing God. The opposite of humility is pride. Pride is seeing me. We spend so much time looking at ourselves. For me, looking down from thousands of feet allows me to get a glimpse of God and the idea of “me” fades away. You get humility by just getting a glimpse of God. It re-sizes and right sizes us in a heartbeat. It puts us in the right perspective. There’s no better way to do this than from 35,000 feet. It becomes easy for me to comprehend that I’m NOT the center of the universe. This whole thing is NOT about me. Too often, my focus is on me. When the focus changes, however, we have something different to offer the world.

Today was peculiarly interesting as I looked out the small acrylic double pained window. The weather was acting up a few miles north of the airport, but we were in a cloudless sky. Almost within reach was an accumulation of clouds taking part in one of nature’s greatest spectacles: a thunderstorm. I could see rain falling, but we were flying in clear skies and I was thinking, oh wow, that’s impressive. Literally, it was a wall of clouds. As we flew along and gently gained altitude, I saw something above those clouds that cannot be expressed with words. The clouds seemed to be tenderly wrestling each other in an angelic sort of way. Below the clouds was lightning and rain, but above the clouds was a majestic sight. I have no idea what it was doing for anyone else on the plane because I wasn’t paying any attention to them. I had my forehead stuck to the window glaring at one of the most amazing sights I have ever seen.

Meanwhile, the flight attendant was going up and down the aisle offering a choice of Coke products. People were getting up going to the bathroom, but I did’t care. I had this view. I didn’t need any peanuts or pretzels or Fresca or water with or without ice and I didn’t need to go to the bathroom because I had about an hour and thirty-six minutes worth of majesty going on out the window and I couldn’t stop looking at it. I wanted to. I wanted to stop the flight attendant and grab her telephone-looking microphone thingy and shout, “listen up everyone, um, my name is Kevin, I’m not the flight attendant, but I’m just up here in 1D and I’m not sure if anyone else has noticed it or not, but there is like awe and wonder going on out there on the right side of the airplane. I don’t know what you’re getting on the left side, but over here we’ve got majesty, people! I don’t know what you’re doing right now, but I suggest you get into the window right now and look because something out there will completely move your soul. Thank you very much,” and then hang-up the microphone.

I was humbled. It was all overwhelmingly majestic. It was brilliant, radiant, extravagant, and quite significant. Every word that comes to my mind doesn’t do justice to the miraculous magnificence that was going on outside of that airplane. I got a glimpse of God and it set me straight. Humility. It wasn’t long before the clouds disappeared and I could see across the horizon. I love the sight of rivers meandering through the intricate grid work of the country roads and the hustle bustle on the interstate as people leave the big city, however, the clouds were indelible.

At some point we all have to see something out the window that blows our mind. At some point I have to get a glimpse and recognize that God is not 5’7” and that He doesn’t act like me, think like me, talk like me, etc. He’s not on my level or even in my league. He’s different, unlike anything else we’ve ever seen. And if you’ve seen Him out the window, even just for a short flight, you are changed from the inside out. A little glimpse of God goes a long way and it changes a heart and brings with it humility. Humility is a culture of the heart that emanates from within. It’s about an attitude that says, I’ve seen someone greater and I know where my value and power comes from. It’s having a proper sense of who I am in relation to God and now I can do something great because I have a heart that knows the mighty hand of God is holding everything together.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” 1 Peter 5:6

Where have all the fundamentals gone?

2011-06-29T18:42:00.000-07:00

As I was listening to a radio program, the host mentioned that less than 25% of Americans support the direction that the United States is heading in. He didn't cite a source for the survey, but it got me thinking. He asked for individuals to call into the radio station and share opinions and ideas about what is "wrong" with our country.

I don't have time for people who complain without offering a solution or sharing ideas on how to make it better. 75% of Americans are upset with our country, but almost 100% of them won't do anything today or tomorrow to try to make things better. I want to be the change I expect to see in the world. I have no interest in taking part in the belly aching and believe most of our population doesn't deserve the privilege to complain because they're not willing to be part of the solution. You're either part of the problem or part of the solution.

Now, griping aside, I did consider the direction of the United States and instantly a few ideas came to my mind. I believe some of the most pressing issues include, but aren't limited to, no-fault divorce, an emphasis on self-esteem instead of self-respect, accountability, a lack of honor and humility and many others things. However, one of the most glaring problems with our country was represented in full-force tonight when I stumbled upon a youth baseball game.

We took a family walk tonight and stopped to watch two innings of a youth baseball game. It was a beautiful night, so it seemed like a terrific idea. Before I share my insight on this baseball game, I have to offer a disclaimer. I'm a coach and former athlete. I understand sport and believe it can be a metaphor for a life as well as a wonderful educational opportunity. I tend to be very critical of the process of youth sports. So, with all of that said, it was absolutely the worst baseball game I have ever witnessed!

Before you rake me through the coals, let me explain myself. I appreciate young people playing games and being active outdoors in the summer, but I think it's appropriate to demand higher standards even for 4th graders. These poor children had no clue how to play baseball. I don't have any knowledge as to how the system of youth baseball works in this community, but I am certain no one has taught these kids how to play the game. They couldn't throw or catch the ball and they couldn't swing the bat. I felt terrible for these children because adults have let them down. No one is teaching them. It's probably unfair to assume this, but they're probably too busy playing games to actually have practice because Mom, Dad and Coach think they need to play a ton of meaningless games to keep up the Joneses unbeknownst to them that the Joneses suck at baseball, too. There was no fundamental base at all. Poor kids.

I played youth baseball and recall a few basic skills that I learned at a very young age. Tonight, no one caught the ball with two hands (even warming up between innings) and no one got in front of ground balls. Luckily, though, there was hardly any bat to ball contact because there were very few swings that would pass as somewhat decent. Remember when you were a kid and the non-baseball playing dad even reminded you to keep your elbow up and eye on the ball? Yeah, none of that happened tonight.

I think this youth baseball game represents a lot of what is wrong with our country. We have grown bored with fundamentals. We don't take the time to learn what we're doing before we do it. Our focus is on the outcome. All I hear from public schools is the attention to testing scores, not the educational process. Youth sports are more about playing games than they are about practicing. We skip the basics so we can peak by Saturday every week.

It sounds like I'm being harsh on these little guys, but if you look deeply into what I'm saying, I'm not. I'm being harsh on the adults and on the system. They are failing the kids. The irony is that these youth baseball players are the ones held accountable for the shortsightedness of the parents and coaches. I'm not about to blame modern technology and Play Station/X-Box on the lack of baseball skills. No one is teaching them. I'm scared about the future because it appears as if our nation is apathetic, at best, to the basic foundations and fundamentals.

To a great teacher, thank you

2011-06-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

Today I crossed paths with one of my middle school teachers at the Farmer's Market in River Falls. Lisa Showers (her last name was Myhre in the early 90's) was my French teacher when I was in 7th grade and she spoke life into me when I was most impressionable. It became one of the defining moments in my life.

I've shared this story numerous times with others. I was in the 7th grade and enrolled in French as an exploratory class. I was very discouraged because learning a new language was difficult and I didn't have any of my friends in class with me. After a few days of class, I wanted to try something different. It was early enough to drop the class, so I took the necessary steps to do so. I brought a drop slip home to my parents and returned to class one day with the intention of it being my last. After class, I had informed Madame that I was dropping her class. She looked at me very sternly and said, "I'm very disappointed in you. Is this how you're going to handle everything in life? When things get hard, are you going to quit?" I stood in front of her desk, speechless, as those words pierced my heart and resonated in my soul. I would never be the same.

I don't know if Madame saw potential in me, if she was expecting more from me than others, or if she was just simply doing her job, but she had a huge impact on me that day. I vividly recall walking out of her room asking myself the same questions she had just asked me. How was I going to handle difficult situations? Was I going to quit? I knew I didn't want to be a quitter, so that day I made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to quit when things became difficult...ever. That included my 7th grade French class.

Madame signed the letter permitting me to drop her class, but I never returned it to the office. I continued learning French until I graduated from high school. Some of my best high school memories took place during French class and I've spent a few weeks in France, however, those words were applied most to my athletic career. I had tremendous wrestling coaches and wonderful support as an athlete, but without those words at that crucial time, none of my success would have been possible.

That was an important day in 1992 and Lisa Showers will always have a special place in my life. I was honored to share this story with her once again today because I have personal testimony that words are extremely powerful. Who knows, maybe my words offered encouragement to her today. Now, I search for opportunities to speak life into others because she did to me.

Thank you Madame! You had a positive impact on me made a difference in my life.

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit" - Proverbs 18:21

Camp of Champs

2011-06-13T14:49:00.000-07:00

Today I traveled North to be a clinician/counselor at the Camp of Champs. Ben and John Peterson, both Olympic Gold Medalists, run this wonderful camp system. It combines faith and wrestling. Biblical principles are an integral part of the camp experience. We're tucked back in the woods at Camp Forest Springs in Westboro, WI.

Every year, my time at Camp of Champs is set in the middle of a typhoon of happenings in my life. My head is in every direction and I have many things on my proverbial plate. Every year it feels like I don't have the time to fit in the 2-3 days I spend at Camp of Champs. This year is no exception. I come here only one day after returning from the World Team Trials. I miss my kids and my wife. I have a lot of work that needs to be done and a lot of summer plans that still need tightening. In all of the hustle and bustle, it's the perfect time to be here.

Every summer, in the middle of all the craziness, God knows I need a few days to focus on Him to keep my priorities straight moving forward. Not that they've been out of order, but it's a good "check." God is always thinking ahead, especially when I may or may not be. I like that attribute about Him.

I'm excited for the next few days. Even though I'd rather be hanging out at the park with Isaiah, Micaiah and Liz today, God wants me here. How can I go wrong? I trust that God will use this to sharpen my focus on His plan as I continue working on my plan. If my plan is in line with His, all is well. To be in the middle of a move of God is where I need to be.

World Team Trials - Friday, June 10th

2011-06-10T20:47:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Helen Maroulis for making the US World Team!

Helen and I visualized this day many, many times, but I don't think either of us ever saw her wrestling Ashley Hudson in the best 2 out of 3 finals. Fortunately, we prepared for this tournament by focusing on Helen's needs. We had a few likely opponents in the back of our minds, but it was always about what Helen needed to do to be successful. If our game plan was designed around certain individuals, her state of mind could have been drastically altered when her opponent became someone we didn't plan for.

Today was a great day. I say (and write) over and over that I'm most concerned about the process and not the outcome. Even though the desirable outcome was achieved today, the process is where the real story is. On the mat, Helen was dominant, but off the mat she was such a professional that the way she competed was expected.

To keep her loose during the day, we joked around a lot with Vicki and Chad. She has a huge tendency to get lost in her thoughts and psych herself out of her ideal competitive state. I hardly left her side when we were in the arena and she handled herself like a professional. She told me she didn't feel like she was wrestling at the World Team Trials because she felt relaxed (which isn't the norm). I explained to her that she's not getting caught up in the emotions of the moment because she's here on business. She didn't come to Oklahoma City for a wrestling tournament; it was a business trip. She took care of business, too.

Helen is only 19 years old and is growing by leaps and bounds every moment of every day. Two years ago, she missed weight at Trials. Last year, the moment got too big for her and it slipped away. This year, she was a professional and the results show it. I'm proud of her for accomplishing one of her many goals, but I'm most proud of her growth over the three years I've been involved in her wrestling career.

Her success today can be attributed to a lot of great people behind the scenes who helped her stay focused and calm over the past few weeks. That was the first step in this process. When she was on the mat, she stayed true to who she is as a wrestler and lived in her "happy zone" and wrestled a nearly flawless tournament. By focusing on the process, the desirable outcome comes to you, you don't go to it.

World Team Trials - Thursday, June 9th

2011-06-09T18:58:00.000-07:00

My second day in Oklahoma City is in the books. Helen made weight, the Victory boys arrived and now I'm watching the NBA Finals Game 5 in my hotel room. LeBron tweeted "Now or Never!!" earlier today so I tuned in for the potential to see greatness...I haven't yet.

This morning started out very well. Helen and Vicki had a nice mat workout. Helen was in weight cut mode, so we didn't have a lot of mat time scheduled for her. On the other hand, Vicki isn't competing until Saturday so we did more with her. She experienced our "100 shots" workout. It isn't her favorite. She was moving very well, though. Both commented on how good their bodies feel. They're definitely peaking and it's evident in their on and off mat activity. They both seem to have a little more bounce in their step, which is good.

I also had time to catch up with Barry Davis for a few hours throughout the day. I always enjoy talking wrestling with him. He's like the Yoda of wrestling. I appreciate him very much.

For lunch, I crushed the lunch buffet at Abuelo's. I have a keen eye for small Mexican restaurants. I can spot them in the most obscure locations. I judge the authenticity of Mexican restaurants on if they offer beef tongue on the menu. Abuelo's certainly doesn't, but the buffet was decent. Unfortunately, it gave me a small stomach ache that I had to endure the rest of the day. I still haven't decided if it was worth it (it usually is with good Mexican food).

Helen made one more short weight cut before we headed to the venue for weigh-ins. There are only four women's weight classes contested this year at the World Team Trials - 48, 55, 63, 72 KG. Helen competes at 55 KG (approximately 121 pounds). 72 KG also weighed in. Helen placed first at the US Open so she has a bye to the best 2-out-of-3 finals beginning at 7:00 PM tomorrow. Vicki will weigh-in tomorrow and compete on Saturday.

We're all getting very excited. Our biggest task right away tomorrow is to get both girls on the mat for a workout. For Helen, it will be a simulated warm-up with matches. For Vicki, it will begin her weight cut for the day. Then we need to keep Helen occupied throughout the day so she doesn't get worked up while waiting. It will be very delicate and probably the most important part of the day. We need to keep her emotions in check. If we can do it successfully, the wrestling should take care of itself.

Broken Camp System

2011-06-09T11:19:00.000-07:00

I believe our wrestling camp system in the United States is broken. I attended a commuter camp when I was in 6th grade and the instructor said if I can retain only ONE thing over three-days of camp, then it was worth it. The one thing I remember from that guy is that his statement didn't make any sense. If I'm going to spend over $300 to learn the sport from an expert, he better do whatever he can to assure that I learn more than one thing. In doing a short cost-benefit analysis, that's not money well spent.

It's been almost 20 years since I attended that summer camp and I've heard similar statements from other wrestling experts all over the US. Why do we think that it's alright if a kid retains only one thing from our camps? I'm bound and determined do it differently.

The majority of wrestling camps focus on techniques (or "moves"). They rush through the content and, often times, the instructors aren't qualified to teach. Attention to detail is skipped for the sake of time and the general concepts or principals are missed almost entirely. Why do we continue to pay top dollar for this type of experience?

I think wrestling camps started to serve three very specific purposes: 1.) to provide supplemental income for wrestling coaches/athletes and to fund college programs; 2.) to provide an environment for college athletes to train in the summer; and 3.) to introduce young wrestlers to the idea of wrestling during the off season. If this is the purpose of camp, the current system is easily understood. However, I believe wrestling camps should be designed around the needs of the athletes and not exclusively on those of the programs hosting them.

Personally, I know a lot of wrestling "moves" and I believe I possess the skills necessary to accurately teach them to athletes of all age levels (thanks to an education degree). However, teaching a group of athletes a series of moves does not assure they will become better wrestlers because they may not be able to apply to techniques to competition. Shouldn't one of my primary goals be to help campers become better wrestlers? Sometimes showing them a myriad of techniques works in the opposite direction of that goal. It's like feeding the athletes a ton of empty calories.

Empty calories, in casual dietary terminology, are a measurement of the energy present in high-energy foods with poor nutritional profiles (Wikipedia).

Empty calories can temporarily satisfy your hunger or quench your thirst, but they don't sustain. Our focus should be on providing campers with something that has solid nutritional value. The problem with empty calories is it meets the need in the short term, but sacrifices what is best in the long term. They come and go quickly, but leave unhealthy residue behind resulting in excessive weight gain and unhealthy people. Healthy growth requires intake of sound nutrients and I don't think the current camps system provides this to wrestlers.

If wrestlers who attend the camps at Victory School of Wrestling only retain one thing, I've failed them. I expect them to grow as wrestlers, but also as individuals who can reach full athletic and human potential. Empty calories don't accomplish this, only nutrient-dense foods will. We want to send the athletes with something sustainable that will help them grow. We want to teach them how to be personally responsible for their lives (including their training). We want to help them understand how to become the Total Athlete - Body, Mind and Soul.

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

World Team Trials - Wednesday, June 8th

2011-06-08T21:10:00.001-07:00

I'm in the Sheraton Hotel in downtown Oklahoma City getting ready for the World Team Trials. I spent some time providing moral support for one of our athletes during a weight cutting workout. It went very well. I'm very optimistic about this weekend because it appears as if our plan is on the right track.

For the past month, two of the top female athletes in the US have been training at Victory. We've made a lot of progress and it's been a valuable experience for everyone involved - the girls, Liz and I, our kids, the athletes at Victory, friends, family, etc. Not only is it a privilege to be a part of Olympism and pouring into the lives, goals and dreams of two fine athletes, it has also been very enjoyable to have them in our lives. The wrestling community has embraced them well and my immediate and extended families have treated them as one of our own.

The primary reason Helen and Vicki decided to train in River Falls is to reach the top of the victory stand. We've put in a lot of work in a short period of time and have dug deeply into many facets of their wrestling and training. We did some "pruning," put together a game plan and exercised a tactical approach for this weekend. The entire month was a celebration of experimentation while maintaining very clear objectives in preparation. As a coach, I'm most interested in the process, not the result, and it was nearly flawless...now, I hope the results are, too. We're going to be spending a lot more time together this summer and currently we're in a very good place, but there's more to do.

Greater things are yet to come and greater things are still to be done!

Obsessed with succeeding

2011-06-02T08:31:00.001-07:00

To be the best at something, you have to be willing to do things others aren't willing to do. As a high school athlete, I wanted to be the best wrestler on the planet, so I was willing to do some "crazy" things that set me apart. Some of them were completely ridiculous, but I believed they were required to gain an edge physically and mentally. Obviously, I was never the best wrestler on the planet, but I still believe in order to be the best, you need to be a little bit crazy.

Some of the things I saw as essential to separate me from the crowd were various mind games that I played with myself. They were internal goals that no one else knew about. In hindsight, I think a lot of them had obsessive compulsive disorder tendencies and they were often times nuisances, but I knew I had to do things that were sometimes inconvenient if I was striving to be the best.

No shortcuts

I heard several times that the best never take shortcuts. I understand what is implied when people say this, but I did my best to take this to the extreme. I often looked for ways to make my journey longer than others. I still wanted to get there first, but I didn't want to take a shortcut to do it, I wanted to take the long way and beat everyone who took the shorter path. The most concrete example I have is when I was walking on sidewalks, I always took the extra steps to cross the street at the cross walk even if my friends slightly cut the corner. Not only did I do this with crosswalks, I did it with every path. You wouldn't have seen me cut across the grass at anytime. I believed if I took shortcuts easily on the sidewalk, there was nothing stopping me from taking shortcuts during my training. Crazy? Absolutely. Did it work? I'm not sure, but I wasn't willing to take the risk that it wouldn't.

Cracks in the sidewalk

A lot of these idiosyncrasies became superstitions that I was scared to let go of. One in particular started when I was in Confirmation class in 9th grade and one of my friends challenged me to not step on a crack in the sidewalk during from the riddle, "don't step on a crack or you'll break so-and-so's back." I looked at it as another training opportunity. This time, it was one of self-control and discipline. I went through my entire high school career without stepping on a single crack on any sidewalk. Similar to the shortcut thing, I believed it gave me a mental edge over my competition. It was also extremely inconvenient. Obviously, I had one eye on the prize and one eye on the sidewalk spotting cracks (yes, even the routine cracks every three feet). Crazy? Absolutely. Did it work? Again, I'm not sure, but I wasn't willing to take the risk that it wouldn't.

One extra

I'm the first to admit that these behaviors came close to consuming me, but I was obsessed with succeeding. Another deal I made with myself was to always "do one extra" when it came to training. If we had 10 sprints, I did 11. Soon the one extra wasn't exceptional and I had to do two extra (in case there were others who were also doing one extra). On my birthday in 2000, I took this to the extreme when I set out to do more stadium stairs runs at Camp Randall than anyone else. I had 25 up-and-down in my mind and kept adding one more in case someone else took on the same adventure. I forced myself to stop after 102 stadium stairs runs to the top. To be the best at something, it's a prerequisite to be obsessed with greatness and success. It needs to flow into every aspect of your life. To be the best, you have to be crazy, but you must maintain a healthy perspective, too.

Needless to say, now that my athletic career is over I do my best not to pay attention to the cracks in the sidewalk, however, I find myself doing things out of the ordinary in hopes of becoming the best wrestling coach, the best father or the the best husband I can be because I'm still obsessed with greatness. But for now, those are secrets.

Greatness

2011-06-01T14:11:00.000-07:00

I spent the day at Stoughton Middle School sharing a few insights into what it takes to be great. I presented the "Preamble to Greatness" to the Bob Empey's 8th grade physical education classes. Two of my friends, Bob and Mel Dow, put together a vision for their students that I'm on board with and they brought me in as a guest speaker.

The Preamble to Greatness starts with humility, the opposite of pride. Pride is all about "me" and humility is about serving others. Humility leads to honor. Humility and honor are always in the same space. Because of humility, it's possible to maintain a healthy perspective of who we are which leads us to value and honor others and take on servant leadership. These steps begin the process to reaching one's true potential. This is true greatness and is possible only when we stay on the correct path. Your path determines your destination.

I really enjoyed my time with the students today and believe we planted some seeds that will produce wonderful fruits in the near future. This experience has motivated me to market Victory School of Wrestling in a new way. We have a lot of great insights that we can offer to middle school and high school students even if they're not interested in wrestling. I hope this opens many more opportunities to work with school districts.

Hazing is completely out of line

2011-05-27T11:46:00.000-07:00

Under absolutely no circumstance do I condone any form of hazing or initiation by clubs, groups or teams. I have no room for the arguments that claim these actions have always taken place or happen more than the public knows or say it's just "kids being kids." On every layer and in every situation, it is completely out of line and unacceptable.

Wikipedia says, "Hazing is a term used to describe various ritual and other activities involving harassment, abuse or humiliation used as a way of initiating a person into a group." The dictionary describes is as "to subject (freshmen, newcomers, etc.) to abusive or humiliating tricks and ridicule." No one will ever be able to convince me that any of this acceptable.

Defending individuals who initiate any form of hazing enables this type of behavior.

More than conquerors

2011-05-26T11:19:00.000-07:00

Last night I was blessed with the opportunity to speak at the River Falls High School Baccalaureate service. The Baccalaureate service is hosted by Souled Out Youth Ministries in River Falls. It's a community of youth groups from area churches. There was somewhere in the ballpark of 200 people in attendance and I was charged to speak on Romans 8:37 and being "more than conquerors."

I spent a few weeks researching the passage and understanding the text surrounding it. I didn't really have a grip on what the Apostle Paul was talking about when he said we are "more than conquerors through him who loved us." Studying this chapter and particular passage was very enlightening and gave me a fresh perspective of the Gospel. A lot of individuals offered positive feedback to what I shared last night, but I think I benefited from the experience more than anyone else.

I shared a few important and relevant insights into what it means to be more than a conqueror, however, the most significant point I had to offer is that conquerors are victorious over their struggles while more than conquerors are victorious in their struggles. We're fighting a battle that is not temporal, but eternal. The war is already won and we're not fighting for victory; we're fighting from victory. This idea has given me an abundance of peace in my life today. We all face difficult situations and God's word promises us that if we're in Christ we don't have to wait until we've overcome our situation and circumstance, we are victorious IN those situations. "in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." (Romans 8:37)

I will post the video on Facebook shortly.

Wrestling in the Happy Zone

2011-05-18T12:30:00.000-07:00

Last night at practice I worked together an analogy to help our athletes understand the best approach to developing solid offensive attacks in the sport of wrestling. If you don't understand wrestling (or baseball), this blog might be difficult to follow, however, the overall principle holds true everywhere in life.

Youth athletes interested in the sport of baseball often learn how to swing a bat and hit ball by using a special tee that holds the ball in a fixed location. The tee can be adjusted at any height to meet the needs and strengths of the individual swinging the bat. Upon graduating from the tee, athletes enter a form of baseball with a pitcher who throws the ball to them. The ball is no longer in a fixed location, but the pitcher (usually a parent) asks where the hitter wants the ball. He/she is asking where the hitter's sweet spot, power zone, wheel house, etc. is - the place of greatest comfort swinging at a moving ball.

It sounds simple. It is, and I challenged our athletes to consider their own wrestling to be more like tee ball. I continued with the analogy by explaining how professional baseball players have the ability to break down the strike zone in order to choose the pitches they'd like to swing at. To the amateur fan, we are confused when we witness a disciplined major leaguer lay off a pitch that it right down the middle of the plate. To the professional, there is more happening than a ball simply going across home plate. One of the greatest hitters of all-time, Ted Williams, broke the strike zone down into 77 parts and only swung at pitches he knew he could work with in a positive way. He called it the Science of Hitting. Guess what? It works.

Ted Williams understood what he could and couldn't do with each pitch in the strike zone. He looked for pitches in the "Happy Zone" where he could hit .400 or better and resisted swinging at pitches in the low outside corner where he couldn't hit better than .230. He explained, batters need to understand the strike zone because if a pitcher knows he will swing at bad pitches in the strike zone, that's all he'll ever see.

As wrestlers, our application to Ted Williams' Happy Zone is understanding our offensive attacks and developing sound "shot selection." Much like a batters pitch selection, wrestlers must rely on their shot selection. Wrestlers need to know when they can take a shot and score and when they can't. If the shot that is available is a shot that you cannot score from (because of your opponent's strengths or your own shortcomings), it's a shot that you do not take. Shot selection comes down to discipline (like plate discipline for the best hitters in baseball). I wrestled a Russian opponent in 2006 and he literally gave me his left leg (my single leg side). I grabbed it and he threw me for 3 points. Throughout the match, he continually tried to give me his leg, but I resisted even though it was right there and I could hear hundreds of youth wrestling coaches in my head telling me to, "SHOOT!"

As wrestlers, we need to find our wheel house and live there. We need to exercise discipline and stick to our plan. The problem is that many wrestlers don't have a plan or understand their own Happy Zone. They are easily influenced by coaches, parents and teammates who shout from the sidelines, "SHOOT!" Not only is their advice arbitrary and useless, it reveals the amateur side of the fan. The wrestler needs to be the professional. If Ted Williams swung at every pitch that I thought he should have as an amateur fan, he wouldn't be in the Hall of Fame. The bigger picture is the life lesson of staying true to who you are, following your convictions and not conforming to the crowd.

On blogger summarized how to apply Williams' Happy Zone to our life this way:

1. Find what works for you. "Since some players are better high-ball hitters than low-ball hitters, or better outside than in; each batter should work out his own set of percentages.”

2. Stay away from what doesn't work. "Each should learn the strike zone and not swing at bad pitches."

3. The best Happy Zone is the smallest. "Swing at pitches just two inches outside the zone and you will be a .250 hitter."

For all of this to translate into the sport of wrestling, we need to reverse engineer our thinking and understand that "shooting" is not being offensive. Often times it's being irresponsible and careless. The application of this principle comes down to treating our sport like tee ball. Teach to the strength of athletes and seek out skills in the Happy Zone. We teach an abundance of offensive attacks early in a wrestlers career and attempt to prune them as they reach higher levels. I believe it should be the opposite.

Focusing on the process

2011-05-14T08:32:00.000-07:00

I've written and spoke on the idea of focusing on the process rather than the outcome a number of times. As a coach, I'm much more interested in how someone gets to the destination, not just simply if they get there (reach their goals, etc.). The end doesn't always justify the means.

Last year, I coached five athletes at the Body Bar Championships in Kissimmee, Florida and saw wonderful results on the mat. People were excited about the titles won by these girls, but I was worried about the path they were on. This weekend (exactly one year later), the process leading up to the tournament is significantly different.

Your path determines your destination, not your hopes, dreams, goals or talent. A few of the athletes stayed on the same path and they are not experiencing the same success as they were last year (as I predicted). However, two of the athletes have grown and matured as athletes and women and are set-up for much greater success than last season.

As a coach, I'm always evaluating the process. Seeing athletes grow is the fuel that keeps me going. Understanding the process is the single most important ingredient to becoming a successful athlete. I'm already more satisfied with the two athletes competing this weekend and we haven't even been to weigh-ins yet. They are taking care of the "little things" within the process, and that's what matters most right now.

Find your sound and play it loud

2011-05-06T12:58:00.000-07:00

I'm an avid watcher of American Idol. I have been for the past six seasons. This season has been the most exciting to me because the talent pool is much deeper than in the past and, as performers themselves, the judges are more passionate about the contestants. The advice these judges give time and time again is to focus on who you are as a performer - to stay true to who you are as an artist.

This advice comes as no surprise to us as viewers because we also believe each contestant should stay true to who they are, but do we actively heed this advice in other arenas of life? Does the advice "discover who you are as an artist" ring true outside of the music industry? To me, the answer is a resounding yes.

I believe it is the responsibility of every individual to discover who he/she is as an individual and embrace the uniqueness that God has gifted him/her with.

God created you as a masterpiece. You are one of a kind; an original piece of art. There will never be another you. You are a masterpiece created by the greatest artist who has ever lived.

One of the single most important roles I see myself in as a coach is guiding each one of my athletes to embrace their own strengths (on and off the mat) and be the unique men and women God has created them to be. Today, we live in a carbon copy world with institutions that are trying to stamp out uniqueness, but the thing that makes you unique also make you powerful.

Steven Furtick, one of the most relevant and inspirational pastors of this generation, sums up this idea by using another analogy from the music industry. He says we need to "find our sound and play it loud." The best musicians and best musical groups in history have made their mark because they had a unique sound. The Beatles took America (and the world) by storm because they had a sound that was different than anyone had ever heard. Michael Jackson sang and danced in way that no one else had experienced and even dressed in a way that no one had experienced. They knew what made them unique and they stood out because of it.

Our world doesn't need individuals who are striving to become someone else. Our world needs individuals who are willing stand out by being different that everyone else. We don't need more "normal" people, because normal is not working. We need more people who understand what God has given them that makes them unique and embracing it.

Stay true to who you are as an artist. Embrace the qualities and gifts that God has given you that makes you unique. Stand up and stand out by being who you are created to be. There will only be one you that will ever live on this planet. What is it that you can contribute to this world that no one else can? What is that you're good at that is unique to only you? What makes you come alive? Figure that out and do that with your life. Find your sound and play it loud.

Know who you are and you'll know what to do

2011-04-25T13:28:00.000-07:00

Our summer schedule is filling up quickly at Victory School of Wrestling. Answering questions and replying to e-mails about what we we’re going to do have compelled me to challenge our athletes (and my readers). Instead of focusing on what you are going to do this summer, how about focusing on who you will become this summer?

Often times we place our identity – who we are – in the things we do. At Victory, we have a special poster that states, “wrestling is not who we are, it’s what we do.” Who you are is more important than what you do.

Before God tells us what to do, He tells us who we are. Matthew 5:14 says, “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Know who you are and you’ll know what to do. In God’s economy, identity comes before activity.

What am I going to do this summer is important to pin down, but who am I going to become is more important.

Potential energy vs. kinetic energy

2011-04-14T10:54:00.000-07:00

I received a Bachelor of Arts in History, so I didn't take many science classes while I was in college. I do, however, remember from high school that energy is categorized in two main classes: potential energy and kinetic energy. Potential energy is stored energy. Kinetic energy is energy of motion.

As athletes, we need to be actively building up our stores - increasing our potential - and when our number gets called, we need to take action. The phrase we use in the wrestling world is "pulling the trigger." Potential will always be potential until action is taken. Then, and only then, it becomes strength and power.

The world is run by people who show up

2011-04-04T16:18:00.000-07:00

I've been involved in many different organizations over the past few years. I can't say that I enjoy my role in each of them, but I joyfully accept the responsibilities that I have. I was raised to think of others first, and as a result, I find myself in volunteer positions and a part of organizations that must make difficult decisions. I believe in being part of the solution rather than complaining about problems. Often times, these roles can be thankless and disheartening, however, we all know that the world is run by people who show up and I make a point to "show up" when it matters. I aim to BE the change that world is waiting for. I don't expect others to do for me what I can do for myself.

Somehow, our world has morphed into something that is a stark contrast to the way I was raised. I see self-esteem trump self-respect. This is completely backwards and leads to a culture of individuals who posses a sense of entitlement. I have a strong dislike for entitlement.

It's easier to critique the decisions of other than it is to have to courage to be a part of decisions that matter. People rant and rave about the decisions that are made by others, but don't take initiative to get involved when it has the potential to make a difference. I'm surprised by how many people think they are privileged to all of the information and decision making processes of organizations while never offering their services to help or share their input when it has the potential to sway the decision. Their input comes in the form of complaints - often anonymously and without recourse (heaven forbid that someone would actually offer these opinions in front of others when accountability is prevalent).

My advice to these individuals is to get involved. Put in the same amount of time that I am. Instead of criticizing the decision making process and questioning the integrity of those making the decisions, show up when it matters. Show up when it's not convenient of self-serving. The world is run by people who show up.

Does professionalism still matter?

2011-03-29T07:11:00.000-07:00

With information available instantly and the emergence of the blogoshpere, forums and textese (text message language), it seems to me that the attention to written detail has declined immensely. Maybe this is because everyone has an opportunity to share their opinions so the filters and editors are no longer critical. But still, I believe businesses and organizations have a responsibility to be professional.

Professionalism goes beyond internet information and fliers. It includes how one associated with a business or organization in any capacity, paid or volunteer, treats the customer. Communication, expertise, punctuality and much more is required. It's fair to demand and expect this from the business or organization you're involved. Professionalism is not the exception, even if our culture seems to be heading in that direction.

Better than it sounds

2011-03-19T09:01:00.000-07:00

In a recent post by Seth Godin, he mentioned that Mark Twain said that Wagner wrote music that was better than it sounds. It got me thinking, is my product (Victory School of Wrestling) better than it sounds, or does it sound better than it is?

Five years ago I had a vision to create an environment that produced championship wrestlers with championship character. We work hard to be sure that we're constantly in line with our mission. This helps posture me as a learner and puts me in a position to be constantly evaluating our approach. Our mission never changes, but our approach is always changing and improving. I'm trying to provide something that, like Wagner, is better than it sounds.

Yesterday I received a message from the mother of a 5th grade athlete who has been involved at Victory for three years. Here's what she posted on my Facebook wall:

A "feel good story"...Paul received a phone call today from the Elementary Principle (typically not a good thing from past experience). But today, "I am calling to tell you about a spectacular thing that Gabe did. He stood up for a girl that was about to be ridiculed by another classmate. He discouraged the boy from doing wrong, pointing out the consequences. If only all of the kids could do one of these random acts, just imagine the possibility?!". When we discussed this with Gabe, he simply said "Kevin's been teaching us about doing the right thing, taking responsibility for our lives.". We just want to say...THANK YOU!! The influence you have is powerful. - The Colbeth's

I think this is evidence that we're moving in the right direction. I often say that I won't be able to accurately evaluate our club model until these young men are adults with families and responsibilities. When they're having a positive impact on our world, I'll know that our approach is successful. Unfortunately, there are far too many programs within the wrestling community that sound better than they really are. However, when a 5th grade student steps up and does something like this, it leads even me to believe that what what we're doing is actually better than it sounds.

Boys forfeiting to girls

2011-03-04T12:54:00.000-08:00

Two weeks ago, history was made in the state of Iowa when two female athletes qualified for the state wrestling tournament. The tournament turned into a media frenzy after a boy decided that it was inappropriate to take the mat against a female competitor. There has been a lot of interest in this story within the wrestling community and outside of it, including from ESPN and the New York Times. Public opinion about this situation is all over the spectrum. I've been asked what I thought many times. In a previous blog post, I did my best to present both sides of the story in an objective way. Now, after more people have started to voice their opinions, I'd like to share my thoughts on male wrestlers forfeiting to female wrestlers and specifically on the situation in Iowa.

Before I do, it's important to understand my stance on gender and competition. I believe God created male and female with distinction and uniqueness. Obviously, this is a sensitive topic because it's politically incorrect to discuss the differences between men and women. I believe men and women deserve equal treatment under law and should have equal opportunities, however, the two genders are significantly different. To maximize the competitive potential of both, we must discard the value judgements that these differences are bad and look to a larger social context to explain behavior.

Males and females take different perspectives on the world. The experiences that shape values, the situations that cause fear, and the circumstances that define success stand distinct. At the heart of these differences lies a masculine identity defined by a basic sense of living separate from others as opposed to a feminine identity defined by a basic sense of living connected to others.

If this is true, each gender approaches competitive situations from vastly different contexts. Girls come to the gym seeking to bond as a means to success; boys battle each other to achieve the same thing. Women are predisposed to connect to achieve goals; men compete to achieve goals. Both want to win and both want results, but they hold markedly different ideas on how to access their aspirations.

Men learn to view the world as a hierarchical social order. They value autonomy, latitude, and winning. Females value attachment, intimacy, and interdependence. Males fear helplessness. They may be wary of commitment if they see it as a loss of freedom. Females fear rejection, isolation, and abandonment. They equate these conditions with loneliness and failure.

Knowing these simple, but complex, gender differences gives us context to understand why individuals can have such differing opinions about what happened in Iowa. To a boy, the person across from him in the circle is trying to take something that he believes is rightfully his. He is bound and determined to fight for it because he believes winning that battle is the mark of a man. Now, match that same boy against a girl and the hierarchical struggle drastically changes. The motivation isn't the same and it becomes a lose-lose situation for the boy (if he wins, he loses; if he loses, he loses). This fear drives the boy, and often times his dad, to look for a way out or a way to win and it seems as if the wrestling community and many Christian circles have given boys and men a free pass to forfeit to the girl by claiming they respect women and cite the Bible as their source. However, the act of forfeiting leaves the girl feeling abandoned, as if her efforts and struggles didn't mean the same as the boys. Not taking the mat and acknowledging her as an athlete is the epitome of disrespect to a female wrestler.

I'm not in a position to make a judgement on the male wrestler in Iowa who forfeited to the female, however, I do believe I am privileged to question the logic that he (and his parents) used because we're both claiming to be representing Jesus Christ on this subject.

First, the boy said that wrestling is violent and he didn't believe it was right to engage a female in that manner. I think I know what he's trying to say, but I think he missed the mark. And why are Christian circles so quick to jump on this bandwagon? I would argue that wrestling is NOT violent. If he's approaching the sport with violence, then I believe it is wrong for him to engage any human being in this manner - boy or girl. Wrestling is combative, but not violent. There are inherent risks to the sport, as there for any sport, and all of the participants are fully aware of those risks. Wrestling is a combative sport that has specific rules to assure that it is not violent. By claiming that it is "violence" sounds too much like "machismo," or excessive masculinity, or chauvinism. It epitomizes the tough guy stereotype alpha male, socially and physically dominating and imposing his will upon others. That attitude is the antithesis of the Bible. It's laced with pride and there is no honor in that.

Forfeiting to a female on the grounds of respecting her is a slap in the face to every female athlete forced to compete against boys. The girl doesn't interpret this act as respectful. I've asked many of my female athletes how they feel about this topic and they're all vehemently opposed to boys forfeiting to them "out of respect for women." I guess I think the females should have a say on this topic. After all, it's directly affecting them, isn't it? I have yet to talk to a female wrestler who said this is a sign of respect or chivalry. So why do we champion it as being so? In my marriage, if my wife feels disrespected because of something I did believing I was respecting her, isn't it logical to conclude that I'm actually not being respectful if she's feeling disrespected? If the girl doesn't believe she's being respected, we can't continue claiming this decision is about respect for the girl.

In 2007, I went to Azerbaijan for the World Championships. In the arena, the ushers constantly walked up to the Americans and told us to put our feet on the ground when we were resting them on the seat in front of us. Showing the bottom of our feet was the ultimate sign of disrespect in their culture. What that act shows to others is that they are below you. Of course, I meant no disrespect by it. It was a cultural difference. However, I didn't hang on to my belief system the rest of the time I was there because I didn't want to show any disrespect. I feel that men are constantly showing the bottom of their feet to women in the sport of wrestling and then, out of fear, hide behind an inerrant claim that they respect them. The problem is, the women don't feel respected.

The only time I support a male forfeiting to a female is if wrestling a girl causes a boy to struggle sexually. I'm in favor of him opting out, but call it what it is. If close contact with a female on a wrestling mat takes a males mind to another place or gives a "hint of sexual immorality" (Ephesians 5:3), by all means, forfeit, but be a man and tell the real reason for not stepping to the line. Don't hide behind the pseudo-chivalrous claim of "respecting women."

I'm sure I ruffled a few feathers on this one. This is precisely why I believe every state association needs a separate boys and girls division. Individuals shouldn't be forced to make difficlut decisions that can be so drastically misunderstood by the two genders.

*work cited: Gender and Competition by Kathlees deBoeur.

Win the crowd

2011-02-25T14:09:00.000-08:00

"Listen to me. Learn from me. I was not the best because I killed quickly. I was the best because the crowd loved me. Win the crowd and you will win your freedom." - Proximo

It feels like yesterday that I laced my bright yellow Adidas shoes and marched through the Parade of Champions prior to the state finals my senior year. The whole weekend seemed surreal at the time. However, as I become less recognized and relevant as an athlete in Wisconsin, I'm starting to comprehend what took place in the Kohl Center in 1998.

I enjoyed my time as a high school athlete and nothing was more enjoyable than standing in the center of Mat 1 to the ovation of over 10,000 wrestling fans. I had a wide range of emotions from releaved to happy. What I cherish most from that moment, though, is how the fans made me feel. I felt like I was a part of something much larger than myself. If you've read any of my previous blogs, you'd know that I believe I was part of a story of God. Within that story was a farm kid that won the crowd over the course of four years. Obviously, I was there in the middle so I cannot seperate my bias, but I haven't seen, or felt, that same energy towards an athlete in the Kohl Center since (closest was Alyssa Lampe and Davion Willis).

There have been a handful of four-time state champions since my day in the spotlight and this year, another individual will join me as a Division 1 four-timer (for one more day, I'm the only one). So there have been a lot of great wrestlers, but I'm going to take a stab and say none have loved the crowd and been loved quit like I was in 1998. Please understand that I'm not trying to hang on to any overdue glory. I know my time has passed, but there is something left to be desired as a fan following the handful of super stars that have graced the Kohl Center floors most recently.

During my career, I didn't have to deal with the pressures of internet forums or Facebook. I wasn't a controversial character because of my lack of character. I had tremendous family support and I was grounded enough to know at the time that I wasn't alone in my athletic endeavors and I knew there was no way I could have done it alone, either. I was a gracious winner and respected my competitors. For a lack of a better way to describe what I'm thinking, I believe I was successful in "winning the crowd."

I didn't compete to seek the approval of the crowd, but we certainly worked together to accomplish great things.

Take advantage of the opportunities

2011-02-24T21:27:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day of the Wisconsin state wrestling tournament. I have great seats and will see terrific wrestling the entire weekend. I'm fortunate to have been involved with many athletes who are competing in this great event. This is a very special time of the year.

After one day, I'm happy to say that the athletes that have trained at Victory are doing well. While watching from the bleachers, I tried to be objective about what I was seeing and I was constantly reminded how important it is to take advantage of opportunities when they arise. This simple thought can be applied in many situations at this tournament from mat strategy to maximizing ones own potential at the most important time. Too many times I have witnessed an athlete who didn't believe in himself until it was too late or was noticeably "going through the motions" because they weren't ready to expect greatness of themselves.

This season I was reminded how quickly high school wrestling passes and how important it is to take advantage of opportunities when they arise. I know a handful of wrestlers who chose not to put the necessary time into training during the off season and are now paying the price by spectating instead of competing this weekend. They had many opportunities, but refused to take advantage of them when they were there. This tournament is a great learning lesson because people usually get what they deserve. The athletes reaching their dreams have put in the necessary time so they can live their dreams WIDE AWAKE. Those that chose not to work hard will sleep through these important dreams and when they wake up, it'll be too late.

Our theme for the state tournament series this year is Wide Awake. The individuals who live their dreams awake take advantage of the great opportunities when they arise. They're alert and sniffing out the opportunity to be great. They eagerly hunt until they smell victory and they take it when it's there.

"The buck stops here!"

2011-02-21T13:33:00.001-08:00

Today is President's Day in the United States. As a History major, I have always taken a liking to modern American history and have grown fond of a few presidents that are under the radar. When we talk about the best Presidents in the history of the United States, we usually include George Washington and Abraham Lincoln on the short list. Presidents with initials have seemed to be popular choices, too - FDR, JFK. Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, Andrew Jackson, Theodore Roosevelt and Ulysses Grant are other popular choices. There are certainly Presidents that I haven't seen on any list of top Presidents, too - Millard Fillmore, Franklin Pierce, John Tyler, Martin Von Buren, etc. In fact, if I hadn't lived in Madison for seven years, I may miss those names when trivia questions ask about them (streets around the Capitol building are named after members who signed the Declaration of Independence which include some of these names). One name that I instantly think of as one of our best Presidents is Harry S. Truman. He's an unlikely hero and few rank him as one of the best, but to me, he is near the top.

FDR picked Truman as Vice President during his third term. Some history says that he was chosen because he was ridiculously simple minded and would stay out of FDR's way. FDR had a lot on his plate and he kept Truman out of his circles. When FDR died in office, it's said that he died with all of his plans in his head and Truman assumed the Presidency with no idea about what had been taking place. Talk about being up a creek without a paddle. President of the United States is probably the only job that this scenario is completely unacceptable. But Truman endured and prevailed.

He was faced with some very difficult decisions immediately, specifically what to do in World War II. He was successful in defeating the Nazis and then the Japanese after ordering the drop of the Atomic Bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I'm sure Churchill and Stalin thought this guy was way over his head as they knew more about what had been taking place in the White House than he did. However, he moved forward with the conviction of doing what is best for the country, despite not having much information about it.

The unexpected victories of World War II should be enough to solidify him as one of our best leaders, but there's more. He entered the 1948 Presidential race as significant underdog (even though he was the incumbent) and because of his Whistle Stop Tour, he won re-election by playing the role of the underdog. It was a genius political campaign. He founded the United Nations, NATO and the Marshall Plan to rebuild Europe after the war. He also developed the Truman Doctrine to contain Communism (the start of the Cold War). The Berlin Airlift was one of the most successfully executed plans ever in America's foreign policy history and it was his idea. Still, after all of this, people didn't like Truman while he was in office.

I think a lot of the dislike for Truman was rooted in his personality. He just didn't fit the mold of a President. Again, he was simple. He didn't even have a middle name (S. was his entire middle name - just an initial). He had done alright as a senator, but was put into leadership because, allegedly, he didn't know anything about being a leader. None of that stopped him. He coined the phrase, "the buck stops here." I don't think he had aspirations of becoming President, but once he was, he knew he was responsible for the nation.

With this slogan on his desk, he won World War II, stopped the spread of Communism, rebuilt Europe and did what was right for the economy in spite of his supporters (railway strikes). He also fired General MacArthur after he refused to follow the President's orders. MacArthur was the biggest war hero America had, but Truman insisted on following the Constitution. I think that's pretty cool. As he was leaving office, he threw in a few new ideas that I believe laid major ground work for the Civil Rights movement. He made an executive order to desegregate the armed forces.

Truman may have been very simple, indeed, but he lead with confidence and boldness. He didn't always have all of the information, but he made urgent decisions that became defining moments in our country's history. I'm a sucker for people who exceed the expectations of others to take care of their responsibilities instead of seeking the approval of others. This is what I admire about Truman the most.

We need high school wrestling for females

2011-02-18T06:24:00.000-08:00

Two female wrestlers qualified for the high school state tournament this weekend and the tournament is getting a lot of national media coverage. One of the female athletes, Cassy Herkleman from Cedar Falls, won the first ever match by a female at the state tournament after her opponent forfeited. He cited his personal faith as the motivating factor for his decision.

As you know, I am a "man of faith." I consider my personal relationship with God to be the most important thing in my life. I believe that Jesus Christ died for my sins (and the sins of all mankind) and that He is our only provision for eternal life. I also believe the Bible is God's inerrant word. I was never in the position of the wrestler from Lin-Mar High School, so I cannot say what course of action I would have taken.

Over the past seven years, I have become increasingly more involved in women's wrestling. Twice I've been a coach for Team USA at the World Championships, have attended many international, national and local women's wrestling events and have organized camps for females from the Olympic Training Center to local high schools and youth clubs. In the arena of women's wrestling, I believe that I have one of the most relevant opinions on the matter of "faith" and women's wrestling in the United States.

This young man was making a decision based on conviction of his personal faith. To this, I applaud his decision. I'm sure it was a very difficult decision and by choosing not to wrestle, he faces consequences. In this case, he is not allowed to win a high school state championship. I would imagine this was a goal of his and many people believed he was the favorite to win this season. I don't think this was a haphazard decision because there was a lot at stake for him. I believe wrestling is the ultimate metaphor for life. I teach my athletes that wrestling is about making difficult decisions and standing up for what you believe is right no matter what the consequences are. In the end, it's you (the individual) standing alone in the middle of the circle forced to trust your convictions. It appears this kid did exactly that. Life lesson learned: there's more to life than wrestling.

There's another side to this story, though, the one of Miss Herkleman. Unfortunately, this one gets missed all too often because she's already flooded with media attention. What is being applauded by the boy's choice to forfeit is his "respect for women." However, from the female athlete's perspective, the exact opposite is what is communicated. It needs to be said that there are a large number of chauvinist individuals who mask their distaste for female wrestling by claiming their "respect for women" when, in fact, they don't at all, especially wrestlers. Stating they "respect women" gives them a free pass to disregard the work of the female and mistreat her as an athlete. We need to call their bluff. The female athletes that I train have stated in very emotional ways time and time again that this act is the most disrespectful thing someone could do to them as an athlete. They have trained, overcome many adversities and obstacles and that all goes unnoticed when the wrestling community gives a free pass to individuals to simply forfeit to them. These females are following the same guidelines, rules and procedures and they want to compete. By the time one reaches the state tournament, certainly both athletes are putting themselves in a position to compete and assume the risks.

Clearly, there is a major gap in communication if the boy believes he is respecting women in a decision that ends up leaving women feeling disrespected at the highest degree. This is the number one reason I believe state associations need to step to the plate and take these decisions away from kids.

All of this media attention proves the time is right for every state association in the United States to offer a state-sanctioned women's wrestling option. I maintain that the only thing that is consistent across the entire world in terms of growth in women's wrestling is separating the boys and girls. As long as they are together, female participation is NEVER going to grow and we'll continually be faced with situations like the one in Iowa. As long as we judge how good a female athlete is by how well she does against boys, we will not advance the sport. Regardless of who is right in the above matter, someone suffered and someone is hurt...all in the name of wrestling. "Build it and they will come" - if we add women's wrestling, women will show up. I promise. Until that time comes, I believe we must respect each athlete as an athlete, regardless of gender. It's time that state associations take the next step.

Oh, the Bleeding Hearts

2011-02-17T12:24:00.000-08:00

I've been out of commission for a few days after some minor personal health issues, so I might have a little more angst than normal. In an attempt to be as educated as possible, I took the time to check out a local rally. About 150 people gathered to "Kill the Bill" on the campus of UW-River Falls. They were there to protest the Wisconsin bill proposal that would affect state employees in a variety of ways.

I won't be taking a stance on this issue in this post. I do have an abundance of opinions about this bill and Scott Walker, but I'm not going to share them here. For the record, I did vote for Walker. I'm also a 31-year old licenced teacher who has never had a teaching job. This post is not about any of that or any of my thoughts about this bill.

What caught my attention most about this rally was the lack of professionalism that was displayed by nearly every individual who took the pulpit. The language certain individuals chose to use during the discourse was appalling. The clotting of the "emcee" was offensive and the overall tone was very disrespectful and rude. The attitude of these individuals did not soften my heart for any of the opposition in attendance today.

My best guess is the teachers and state union workers, particularly David Harswick, would not have approved of the representation they had on the campus at UW-RF today. I heard the phrase, "this is what democracy looks like" a number of times. Really? Is democracy about disrespectful, offensive complaining? Because that's what this protest was. I didn't see it as productive.

A local alderman who spoke against the bill is a graduate of UW-RF in Marketing Communications. How ironic is it that he stood on the steps of the University Center and did more harm for the marketing of his product and communicated in an obscene way that is sure to "turn off" the people who are on the fence? The "emcee" wore t-shirt of an obscure band with an image of a baby doll skeleton with blood draining out of the eyes. She made a choice to wear that shirt on a day that she would likely be on television. Disgusting. There were a few other local politicians who looked far less than unkempt. This was an opportunity to be heard, to be liked and to make a difference and, instead, they made a mockery of it by not taking it seriously. They were extremely unprofessional.

All opinions aside, I expect someone trying to sell me something to be professional about it. Take a shower, put on some respectable clothing and look like you're taking your position seriously. It didn't happen today at UW-RF.

Give the referees a break

2011-02-13T21:42:00.000-08:00

I haven't been afraid to share my feelings about the conduct of adults at youth sporting events, particularly in the wrestling world. So, it probably comes as no surprise to hear me say that I'm becoming increasingly upset with the way people treat referees at wrestling tournaments.

Yesterday was an important day for high school wrestlers in Wisconsin because it was the first round of the state tournament qualifying tournaments. My father is a wrestling referee - he's pretty good, too - and he spent the entire day at a local regional tournament. Fortunately, he has watched an abundance of high level wrestling, so he has a keen eye for what is taking place on the mat. I believe this separates him from other referees in the area as he's consistently near the top of Wisconsin's ref-rankings. Still, he can't keep from telling me how awful coaches and parents treat him at dual meets and tournaments. He has horror stories nearly every time he takes the mat.

I can't help but wonder how much better the sport of wrestling would be if coaches spend as much energy focusing on their athletes as they do on the referee. What if the coaches instantly took responsibility for how their athletes competed? The entire culture of the sport would be positively influenced if athletes and coaches held themselves accountable at all times, instead of "blaming" the referee for their short comings.

I could go on and on and share numerous stories of how coaches, parents and athletes have acted out-of-line towards a referee, but I'm not going to take the time. Instead, I will raise the expectations of every wrestling fan reading this blog entry to treat referees kindly.

We are in need of referees at every level in every sport right now. One referee who worked with my dad claimed he will never referee a wrestling match again because of the way he was treated yesterday. How can this actually happen? If we care about our sport, no one should walk away from it because of bad experiences - referees included.

I've seen my fair share of bad calls, missed calls and no calls. And I've acted in a unsportsmanlike way towards a referee, so I can identify with everyone who thinks they have a right to be upset. However, the truth is you don't have the right to disrespect another human being and you never have the right to be an obscene jerk.

Once again, this is a classic case of wrestling people being bad for wrestling. I maintain that administrations, budget cuts, Title IX and all of the other excuses pale in comparison to the harm caused to the sport of wrestling by wrestling coaches and parents. We continue to undermine the development and growth of the sport by selfishly chasing away quality referees while discouraging anyone new from wanting to blow the whistle at all.

Leaders I'm following

2011-02-11T14:46:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago one of my favorite leaders wrote a blog about prominent leaders that he's following in 2011. He threw out a few names that were new to me, so I checked some of them out. I thought it was appropriate to share with those who follow this blog the names of some very important leaders that are worth following this year.

Below is a list of current and relevant leaders - authors, bloggers, coaches, pastors, etc. - that I am choosing to invest time in reading and listening to what they have to offer on a variety of topics. I hope you take the time to look into their work and find inspiration in what they have to offer.

John Acuff
Randy Alcorn
Geno Auriemma
Glen Beck
Francis Chan
Shane Claiborne
Mark Driscoll
Tony Dungy
Steven Furtick
Louie Giglio
Malcolm Gladwell
Seth Godin
Craig Groeschel
Wayne Grudem
Mike Huckabee
Bill Hybels
Timothy Keller
John C. Maxwell
Erwin McManus
Blake Mycoskie
Daniel Pink
Andy Stanley
Henry Williams

I'm also a big fan of C.S. Lewis and A.W. Tozer.

What are you trying to sell?

2011-02-04T14:45:00.000-08:00

I'm a huge fan of Seth Godin and read his blog daily. This idea sounds like something he would say, but this is an original thought. I'm certain you'll be able to identify with me on this even if it's outside my jurisdiction as a wrestling coach.

I have been enamored by the possibility of mobile Internet since I first used an air card six years ago. Internet everywhere is an awesome idea. I travel a fair amount and thought it was finally time to give it a try. I've been able to access my e-mail and Internet from my phone for a few years, but needed free wi-fi to get on with my computer. I did the math and right now it's more cost effective for me to use the mobile wi-fi option for my home and Victory. One service, one payment.

I went to the phone store and was excited to take a technological step in the right direction. I walked into the store wanting nothing more than Internet everywhere. The sales consultant told me about a certain mobile hotspot that offered 4G speed in areas with 4G service. He raved about how much faster 4G service was than anything else. He assured me that when 4G is not available, the 3G service is faster than traditional DSL. I've had DSL since 2000, so I'm quite familiar (and usually satisfied) with the speed. He warned that 3G may not be best for customers who download a lot of movies or for online gaming. I don't do either so I thought this "upgrade" would be wonderful.

The problem is 4G is not available in my hometown and 3G is much slower than what I'm used to. I still have internet everywhere, but now I'm an unsatisfied customer because I'm not getting what I thought I was paying for.

Here's the point: I just wanted mobile wi-fi. I didn't care if it was slower. When he told me it was going to be faster, though, I expected that it would be. He had me at "hello," so why did he pump-up his protect even more? I would have been extremely satisfied had he not told me I was getting more.

Conversation starter

2011-02-04T06:10:00.000-08:00

For your information, a subtle Green Bay Packers hat is a great conversation starter if you're traveling on Super Bowl weekend and the Packers are playing in the prestigious game.

I had the opportunity to share my story of being a Packers fan to many strangers last night as I roamed the airport. A lot of people I passed gave me a thumbs-up or said the savory words, "Go Pack Go!"

I've been proud to wear Packers gear my entire life. I sported a Packers hooded sweatshirt 2-3 times per week when I was in 2ND grade. I had it washed daily and chewed on those hood strings like they were going out of style. Mrs. Lipsky made special mention of my green and gold attire every Monday following a Packers victory, which only happened 4 times that year under Lindy Infante (they beat the Vikings twice). I'm a die hard fan, but this season sparked a new kind of love for this team because I have a two year old son who says, "Go Pack Go!" every chance he gets.

It's fun being a Packers fan right now, but then again, it's always been fun - win or lose. I think that's why I received so much attention in the airport yesterday. People just enjoy enjoying the Packers.

Go Pack Go!

Damsel in distress

2011-02-02T20:58:00.000-08:00

I drove to a nearby high school for practice on Tuesday. I left early enough to give myself margin to discuss plans with the head wrestling coach. I was scheduled to arrive approximately 30 minutes early. Then I came around a bend in the road and saw a Volkswagen Jetta in the ditch. I knew I had to help.

The car had gone into the ditch only a few moments before I arrived. The female driver was in distress and had yet to call anyone for help. She really didn't know what to do. She mentioned that she was planning on calling AT&T for help (not AAA), so it was clear that she needed some assistance. Apparently, she came around the bend and there was a oncoming car passing in her lane so she chose the ditch instead of the head-on collision. She hadn't gone too far into the ditch, so I was certain that I'd be able to get her out.

I could give you a lot more detail, but to make a long story short, I "shoveled" the snow around her car with an old IKEA frying pan that I had in my trunk. I tried to push her out alone, but it wasn't until two other guys stopped and offered their assistance that we got her out. She was "hung up" on snow and the three of us lifted the rear of the car so she could get her front tires down for traction and that was it. She was out and we all parted ways.

This cut into my margin significantly. In fact, I was 10 minutes late for practice. It ended up being one of the most teachable moments of the day, though. I shared how I had helped a "damsel in distress" by lifting a car out of the ditch. We all chuckled, but it was important for them to hear that people actually do help others. We all want to be able to offer a helping hand, but often times we don't want it to interfere with what he have planned. I had a few opportunities that would have allowed me to leave the scene and it would have been appropriate, but I was determined to "go the extra mile" to help this stranger. You know, the whole pay-it-forward thing.

I was amazed by how many cars drove past us without slowing down to see if they could help or asking if everything was alright. I was disappointed in these people, but it inspired me. I was determined to get this car out of the ditch so I could tell 30+ high school boys that they have a responsibility to humanity to help others and to be able to say it with conviction and credibility. I left with a little extra energy and referred to the story often throughout practice. I'm certain that it resonated with a few of the wrestlers and they'll be quick to help a stranger in need in the future.

I can't help but to think of the impact a simple act of kindness can have. Sure, the girl who was stuck was immediately affected, but I think every situation like this has potential to have a ripple effect, like the movie Pay It Forward. A local radio station does the Drive Through Difference and the ripple effects are nothing short of moves of God. You never know when someone is down on their luck and a simple act of kindness can give them hope to carry on. The moment might eat into your margin, but that ripple effect is worth it. I seek out opportunities to help. I hope you do, too.

"If anyone forces you to go a mile, go with them two miles." - Matthew 5:41

The misunderstanding of greatness

2011-01-31T07:23:00.000-08:00

I believe that we are all destined for greatness is something. I really do. I believe God created us all with uniqueness and distinction and with a specific purpose to do what only we can do. There is only one "you" that will ever live and you have something great to offer.

I make it a priority to speak "greatness" into the lives of my athletes because I want to see them DO great and BE great. As an adjective, the word great can be described in so many ways: extraordinary, unusual, famous, of favor, wonderful, first-rate, notable, etc. I want to see those around me become great because the world is depending on them to be, but I don't want to sell the word short. Being great is extraordinary, among other things, and shouldn't be used haphazardly.

I went to two separate wrestling tournaments yesterday and I saw many people that I knew. I lost count of how many people said, "it is/was great to see you." Was it really great? Was it even good to see me? Or was just seeing me another minuscule happening during your day? I don't think I'm that big of a deal that it would make for a great event to be seen. I saw a lot of people and it wasn't great. Of course, there were some dear friends that I had not seen in quite some time and it was great to see them, as in wonderful.

To do great and be great - as God intended - I think we need to venture into the realm of extraordinary and unusual. I really don't think we want to minimize our potential for greatness to being in the same category as recognizing someone at Wal-Mart and calling that great. It's not about being famous or notable, either, though. It's about having the courage to be who you were created to be and doing what only you are capable of doing. Your greatness will leave its mark and the world will never be the same. I even dare to say that the world is depending on you to live up to the expectations you're called to.

Fuel card

2011-01-30T07:14:00.000-08:00

This analogy is quite a stretch, but give it a chance. Yesterday I stopped at Kwik Trip on the north end of River Falls to fill up our car. As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed that I had a Kwik Trip "Fuel Only" card in the change cup and decided it was the perfect time to use it. My grandma had given each of her grandchildren a $15 fuel card for Christmas.

I filled the gas tank and ran inside to pay. The total cost of my transaction was $41.75. I handed my Fuel Only card to the cashier and he swiped it bringing down the total to $26.75. As I was swiping my Visa in the card reader, the cashier asked if I wanted the card back. I had no use for it, so I said, "Nope!" I hustled back to my car and had a weird sinking feeling.

My grandma had given me that card for Christmas and I used it without much thought and gave it back to the cashier. Obviously, the $15 helped, but it was just a "drop in the bucket." It barely made an impact on my purchase. The card served its role, went back to where it came from and it will never have anything to do with my life ever again. That made me sad. I was sad that my grandma's gift came and went so quickly and I was sad because this is the picture of so many people's life.

God gives us all the opportunity to make our lives count for an eternity. We have the ability to contribute to something greater than ourselves and live for a name that will last forever. God passionately pursues us and it's our choice if we chose to live for a story that is bigger than us - His story.

If we choose to live for anything other than God, we are in danger of becoming exactly like the fuel card that I used yesterday. We'll have a temporary impact, if that, and will be returned to where we came from with nothing to show for. Our lives will be a "drop in the bucket" and will no longer be of use or value. Maybe we served a temporary role, but it's over.

When it's over, it's over, but if you leverage your life for the glory of God, you can take part in an eternity and live for name that lasts forever.