More than just the ABC's

Summer has arrived and we're off to a fantastic start.  The weather has been incredible, my boys have been playing hard and we have enjoyed good company, food, relaxation and movies.  And we're only a few days into everything.  Everyone in my house is excited fort sun-kissed skin, long bike rides and fun activities, especially involving water (swimming, sprinklers, making puddles, playing in the rain, etc.).

During some of the much needed space from a rigorous schedule, it dawned on me that Isaiah, my 5-year old, experienced a lot in his first year of public school education.  There were many things that I expected him to learn in school, however, there were also some important things that never crossed my mind before this year.

Isaiah was in a class with 12 other students.  At Jacob's Ladder the class sizes are limited.  We didn't chose Jacob's Ladder because of this, though.  Our second son, Micaiah, was two doors down twice a week at preschool.  It was always joyful when I strolled into the hallway and had two kids running towards me from opposite directions.  It gave each of them a little extra comfort knowing their best friend was just down the hall.  We also developed important family connections and built friendships with parents who are in the exact same place as we are raising kids.  We're thankful for these friends because lot happened over those 9-months.

Our 4K-ers learned about letters and farm animals, how to spell their name and to share their favorite things - all in accordance with expectations and standards.  These precious children also learned about compassion, loss, grieving and what it means to be there for someone.  They gained a deeper understanding of family and love.  They knew how to be silly while understanding the importance of a hug.  The art projects became a sort of catharsis. When all was said and done, this class experienced grandparents passing away, the loss of one student's father to cancer, another father being deployed, divorce uprooting families and it happened during one of the worst winters on record.  They were literally stuck inside a 400-square foot space forced to work through the emotions that came with confusion, pain and struggle.  How was I to know that one year of school could teach our kids so much?  No wonder they all chose to pile into the elevator together after class each day.  That closeness became their reality.  No wonder Isaiah had moments when he melted down seconds after leaving our side.

Each mom and dad made time to hug their bambino before and after school each day a little longer than usual.  Students hugged each other during class, in the hallway and at the grocery store.  Some families were hit much harder than others, and I would never minimize that, however, in a sense we were all in this together because the kids were all in it together.  They stepped up for one another whether someone had a runny nose or was hurting badly after a tragedy.  They learned together and they started growing up together.

After Year One with kids in school, I realize how naive I am.  I can prepare my family for most of the things we see coming.  I can even lay a strong foundation that will help us deal with some of the things no one ever sees coming.  You never know what life is going to bring you, though, so you have to be ready for everything, even when some of those things are things no one should ever have to deal with.  It seems as if it might be a little more manageable as part of a community.

My five year old is...graduating...?

My oldest son is graduating.  This is a very special time, except it's not.  He's only five years old and he's graduating from 4-year old Kingergarten (4K).

4K was introduced in our community last year.  It's designed to help students learn how to interact in a learning environment.  It's funded by the school district, but not required.  There are state standards and standardized testing, however, it's more play-based than academic-based and I am thankful for that.  Basically, it's state funded preschool.  Others have suggested that it rose in popularity because, hey, free day care.  My fear is that the kindergarten I grew up with is now closer to first (or second) grade and pressure from parents wanting their kid to be the next prodigy results in more and more opportunities at younger ages -- that's another topic for another day, though.

I'm raising my kids in a culture of over-inflated senses of entitlement and self-esteem.  How someone feels is more important than how they do.  Being included is more valuable than measurable success.  It's a culture that has a delusion of what "elite" looks like.  There are several state tournaments for 10-year olds playing AAU basketball.  Mom and Dad buy an expensive soccer jersey and suddenly they're on an all-star team traveling thousands of miles, but when they get to high school they're not even good enough to play varsity on an average team.  Watered down varsity letters for every school activity...everyone's a winner...everyone deserves recognition...trophies...and the list goes on.  A graduation ceremony for every step of the educational experience falls in-line with these trends.  So, here we are.

I'm going to embrace this moment with my son because he's excited about it and his class has hyped it up quite a bit.  My wife is even trying to get away from work to watch the ceremony.  It's the last day of school and that's always worth celebrating.  I don't want to pretend that he accomplished something great, though, because he didn't.  We brought him to school each day and he finished because we didn't stop bringing him.  He didn't set his alarm or get himself to school.  He never pulled out homework when he got home.  He had a few responsibilities at school, like changing his name tag from the "home" to the "school" category and he sat on his square when the teacher asked him to, however, these are basic and minimum requirements of childhood for a five year old.  They're hardly worth recognizing with a ceremony.

Don't get me wrong, a graduation ceremony full of squirrely five year olds is going to be memorable.  Someone is bound to do something funny and [hopefully] inappropriate.  Moms will take pictures with their phones and post them on Facebook.  A couple will even try to organize the chaos, someone is bound to get frustrated and then everyone will go home and wrestle over the next big life decision: peanut butter and jelly or mac n' cheese.

Sure it's cute, but isn't this sending a message that kids are to be rewarded for mediocrity and what should be excepted?  Aren't we lowering the bar?  Is it necessary to have a ceremony for these little whipper snappers upon completion of 4K?  If it wasn't even scheduled, they wouldn't know the difference, but now that it's happening they will and they'll probably have another one next year after kindergarten, too.