Monday, January 31, 2011

The misunderstanding of greatness

I believe that we are all destined for greatness is something. I really do. I believe God created us all with uniqueness and distinction and with a specific purpose to do what only we can do. There is only one "you" that will ever live and you have something great to offer.

I make it a priority to speak "greatness" into the lives of my athletes because I want to see them DO great and BE great. As an adjective, the word great can be described in so many ways: extraordinary, unusual, famous, of favor, wonderful, first-rate, notable, etc. I want to see those around me become great because the world is depending on them to be, but I don't want to sell the word short. Being great is extraordinary, among other things, and shouldn't be used haphazardly.

I went to two separate wrestling tournaments yesterday and I saw many people that I knew. I lost count of how many people said, "it is/was great to see you." Was it really great? Was it even good to see me? Or was just seeing me another minuscule happening during your day? I don't think I'm that big of a deal that it would make for a great event to be seen. I saw a lot of people and it wasn't great. Of course, there were some dear friends that I had not seen in quite some time and it was great to see them, as in wonderful.

To do great and be great - as God intended - I think we need to venture into the realm of extraordinary and unusual. I really don't think we want to minimize our potential for greatness to being in the same category as recognizing someone at Wal-Mart and calling that great. It's not about being famous or notable, either, though. It's about having the courage to be who you were created to be and doing what only you are capable of doing. Your greatness will leave its mark and the world will never be the same. I even dare to say that the world is depending on you to live up to the expectations you're called to.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Fuel card

This analogy is quite a stretch, but give it a chance. Yesterday I stopped at Kwik Trip on the north end of River Falls to fill up our car. As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed that I had a Kwik Trip "Fuel Only" card in the change cup and decided it was the perfect time to use it. My grandma had given each of her grandchildren a $15 fuel card for Christmas.

I filled the gas tank and ran inside to pay. The total cost of my transaction was $41.75. I handed my Fuel Only card to the cashier and he swiped it bringing down the total to $26.75. As I was swiping my Visa in the card reader, the cashier asked if I wanted the card back. I had no use for it, so I said, "Nope!" I hustled back to my car and had a weird sinking feeling.

My grandma had given me that card for Christmas and I used it without much thought and gave it back to the cashier. Obviously, the $15 helped, but it was just a "drop in the bucket." It barely made an impact on my purchase. The card served its role, went back to where it came from and it will never have anything to do with my life ever again. That made me sad. I was sad that my grandma's gift came and went so quickly and I was sad because this is the picture of so many people's life.

God gives us all the opportunity to make our lives count for an eternity. We have the ability to contribute to something greater than ourselves and live for a name that will last forever. God passionately pursues us and it's our choice if we chose to live for a story that is bigger than us - His story.

If we choose to live for anything other than God, we are in danger of becoming exactly like the fuel card that I used yesterday. We'll have a temporary impact, if that, and will be returned to where we came from with nothing to show for. Our lives will be a "drop in the bucket" and will no longer be of use or value. Maybe we served a temporary role, but it's over.

When it's over, it's over, but if you leverage your life for the glory of God, you can take part in an eternity and live for name that lasts forever.

Monday, January 24, 2011

On Jay Cutler

Once again, I'm taking a stab at my own version of Monday Morning Quarterback. I have some insight on the Jay Cutler debacle that I haven't heard from the media outlets and analysts, so I thought it was appropriate to share my thoughts here.

If you know me at all, you know that I am a die-hard Packers fan. I also have a strong dislike for the Chicago Bears and I dislike the player of Jay Cutler more than anyone in the NFL. So I've exposed my bias and for the record, I do respect the Chicago Bears (unlike my other disliked franchise).

Of course, I've never played a down in the NFL, or in any football league for that matter, so I don't claim to understand the pressures that Cutler was facing. I have, however, competed at a high level and understand the mindset of an athlete in his situation. I've also had a number of knee injuries, including a MCL sprain - the same injury Cutler has been diagnosed with. This is just to say that I have some credibility in my assessment.

I'm not questioning the physical toughness of Jay Cutler. I'm not challenging his character or desire for success. I'm just calling what I saw. I think Jay Cutler mentally broke.

On occasion, we all mentally break. Fortunately most of us don't break on one of the largest stages in professional sports in front of millions of people. Unfortunately for Cutler, he did, but criticizing his manhood is way out of bounds.

Here's what I saw:

Cutler was not playing very well. In fact, he was playing quite poorly. It's even safe to say that he wasn't living up to his end of the bargain as he was being out-played by the opposing quarterback. The Packers defense was confusing him and he was becoming frustrated. This is all understandable. It was cold, they were behind on the score board and hope was dwindling quickly. It would be hard for any leader in his situation to be overly optimistic. With that said, he was still "in" the game and had a chance until the end of the second quarter.

Trailing 14-0, Aaron Rodgers threw an interception that bounced off the leg of Donald Driver into the waiting hands of Lance Briggs who was the benefactor a classic right place at the right time situation. It was some good fortune for the Bears. Suddenly, they had a pulse and Cutler knew that a touchdown before half would give them momentum going into the locker room. I think he stepped up to the plate, but forced things a little too much and missed on a deep pass that resulted in an interception. That's precisely when Cutler "broke." His demeanor was never the same and the pressure of the situation got the best of him.

Before that ill-faded pass, Cutler was focused on winning the football game. After the pass his focus shifted someplace else. His attitude went South. Certainly that is not the end of the world and a half time break could have cured the problem, however, there was an injury that was hidden below his laser focus. Once he lost focus, the injury crept into play. It became a "back door," or out, for him as a player. That back door is like a nasty disease and every high level athlete knows it. They do everything to avoid giving themselves that back door. It's a principal of sports - when push comes to shove and you have given yourself a back door, you will take it every time. No matter who you are, you can't avoid it. This time, for Cutler, it was at an extremely crucial time in the game and the end result was a Bears loss.

Coming from a one-on-one combat sport, I fully understand the significance in breaking your opponent. It happens at the strangest times and sometimes without warning or expectation, but you know it when you see it. Cutler was taking a beating, but his mind was still in the game. If your mind is in it, you can force your body to be in it. Once his mind was out of it, so was his body. He couldn't pinpoint the time of the injury and to that I say, of course he couldn't because he was focused on winning a football game. When he wasn't focused on winning a football game he became aware of the injury.

Once again, I bleed green and gold and don't like Jay Cutler as a football player, but I feel the need to stick up for him a little in this situation. I don't think his physical toughness should be discussed. He broke and had no place to hide. The physical toughness argument is way over-rated.

I do think this whole situation brings up another interesting topic that I will stay away from. The expectations of the NFL players who were tweeting reveals the barbaric mindset of professional athletes that leads to an abundance of complications and problems after their football career. Obviously, when millions and millions of dollars are at stake, there are huge expectations, but professional athletes are human beings and should take caution when putting their life on the line. The "tough guy" mentality is only proving to be a bunch of meat heads disregarding their body for temporary success (that doesn't last, by the way). I'm glad the NFL is taking steps in the right direction with concussions, but why not knee injuries and other injuries? Just a thought.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

I believe in you

How does it feel to know that someone is in your corner - coaching you and cheering you on? I have the unique privilege to be in the corner, both figuratively and literally, of the lives of many great young men and women. It's incredible to witness first hand what they are capable of when I believe in them.

No matter where you are in life, you have the ability to speak greatness into the lives of those around you. Coaches and teammates play a significant role with athletes, but this post is a call to fathers. It is essential to the development and growth of your children that they know you believe in him/her.

In Mark 1:11, God said publically that he believed in His son. This is a critical part of the story of Jesus because this was moments before he began his ministry on Earth. In front of many others, God said to Jesus, "You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased." How much do you think this public affirmation meant to Jesus?

It came just after Jesus was baptized. God was basically saying, "yeah, that's my boy!" Notice, He didn't affirm him after he won a game or scored a goal. God wasn't declaring his belief in His son after he made a lot of money or got good grades. It was after he was obedient in scripture and did something spiritual that God told him how happy he was.

Be sure to communicate with words when you believe in someone. Don't assume he/she knows. Make sure you're quick to notice standards of excellence and character rather than accomplishing goals because performance-based acceptance misses the mark. You need to be there win or lose and you need to believe he/she "has what it takes" to be a man or woman of the greatest integrity.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I just want to wrestle

Yesterday, on my way home, I stopped to put gas in my car. I like to pay at the pump because it's convenient. However, that convenience is often interrupted by a plethora of decisions. Do you want a receipt? Do you want a car wash? Are you using debit or credit? Do you want to purchase three Glazers doughnuts for $1? Do you want to make a UNICEF donation? Every time the answer is "no." I just want gas.

Too many times I see high school athletes choose to walk away from the sport they once loved because it becomes about everything except that sport. We lose wrestlers almost daily because they don't want to cut weight, their coach doesn't understand them (or chooses not to know them), practices are boring, they're on junior varsity, etc. The reasons seem to be never ending. The tragedy is that I can't recall a time when someone said they just didn't want to wrestle. Sure, they didn't want anything to do with the stuff around wrestling, but wrestling itself is seldom the reason.

What I know about me is that I love the sport of wrestling. I love the ins-and-outs, the strategy, the grind, the technique...everything. Most people who choose the sport, however, just want to wrestle. If I want a successful program, I cannot forget that.

I do my best to remember this simple thought when I begin practice each day. Just like I don't want to be bogged down by so many decisions at the pump when all I want is gas, it's imperative that I don't bog down the sport of wrestling when athletes just want to wrestle.

The analogy is quite simple and there is obviously a need for the "other stuff" in sports, but don't miss the point. I know youth wrestlers who come to practice expecting to wrestle and all they do is learn new techniques. Let them wrestle. I know high school athletes who focus moment by moment on making weight. They're on the wrestling team, not the weight cutting team. If you were ever to ask me what I want in this sport, I just want to wrestle.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Tomorrow is today

January 17, 2011 is officially Marting Luther King Day in the United States. Dr. King is one of the most influential leaders in American history. On this day, I watch the entire "I Have a Dream" speech and it's as relevant today as it was in 1963. His words are timeless and can be applied to many facets of life.

In addition to his most famous speech, I search for other speeches in an attempt to better understand the real story of Dr. King. I'd like to share with you my discovery after reading Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break Silence by Martin Luther King from April 4, 1967. The speech was delivered at a meeting of Clergy and Laity Concerned at Riverside Church in New York City.

In this speech I am moved by the courage of Dr. King. In my opinion, courage is under rated in our society today and Martin Luther King is one of the best examples history has to offer us in what true courage looks like.

King's courage is demonstrated in that he recognizes and responds to his own convictions. In this speech, he knows what is right in his heart and he refuses to remain silent. He recites the sentiments of the committee's concerns by saying, "A time comes when silence is betrayal."

This particular speech deals with the events surrounding the Vietnam war, however, these words are important in a much larger context. He goes on to say, "I have moved to break the betrayal of my own silences and to speak from the burnings of my own heart." Many of his followers instructed him to not engage in conversations about the war because it could have hurt his Civil Rights cause. I'm not sure if these comments interfered or not, but it's clear that he was responding to his personal convictions. That's courage.

It's often scary to do what is right. I argue that we often know what is right and wrong and I charge that it's never wrong to do what is right. I think this was Dr. King's motivation. And that's why he chose to act.

If you ignore your convictions, you might miss your opportunity to do what's right. Take advantage of the opportunities to make a difference in the lives of others and in your own life. Be the change that you want to see in the world today.

We are now faced with the fact that tomorrow is today. We are confronted with the fierce urgency of now. In this unfolding conundrum of life and history there is such a thing as being too late. Procrastination is still the thief of time. Life often leaves us standing bare, naked and dejected with a lost opportunity. The "tide in the affairs of men" does not remain at the flood; it ebbs. We may cry out desperately for time to pause in her passage, but time is deaf to every plea and rushes on. Over the bleached bones and jumbled residue of numerous civilizations are written the pathetic words: "Too late."


At the end of this eloquent speech, Martin Luther King says, "We must move past indecision to action." Are you holding on to convictions and not acting in the way you know is right? Are there individuals you need to confront? Are there people you need to encourage? Is there something that is burning in your heart that you're afraid to respond to? Take courage and be bold.

Don't wait for someone else to do what you may have been created to do.

Your moment is now.

Tomorrow is today.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Let's be punctual

Last night I took my family to "Alumni Night" at the River Falls High School. The wrestling team had a home dual meet and many former RFHS wrestlers attended. A few former coaches drove great distances to be recognized by the booster club. It was a fun evening for wrestling junkies like me and a lot of work went into making it special. Unfortunately, I'm not convinced that the non-wrestling people felt the same.

We arrived at the school at approximately 6:30. We would have been there earlier, but we did our best pre-bedtime routine for our kids before we left so we could bring them back and take them straight to bed. The varsity dual meet was scheduled to start at 7:00. We had a good time talking to others and watching our oldest son, Isaiah, run around. Liz was being very patient and waited until 7:17 to ask when everything was going to start. I assumed she was talking about the alumni recognition and varsity dual meet. I had lost track of time, but she clearly didn't. So we walked around more and ran into the coach. The time management was clearly out of his control and he was noticeably anxious to get the show going (the official was late and weigh-ins took much longer than anticipated). The varsity match finally started around 7:45 to the chagrin of the coaches and those caring individuals who had organized the event.

Here's my point: there is no way a high school varsity basketball game would start 45 minutes later than scheduled. I don't think a hockey game would either. If these are sports wrestling is competing with for participation and attention, I think it's in the best interest of wrestling to be sure to follow advertised start times. I might be too picky, but I don't think I'm far off on this one. My situation was not unique. I had two small children with me who got antsy and were already past their bedtime. We had to leave early. Now, I'm a wrestling junkie and there isn't much, if anything, that is going to turn me away from the sport, but my wife may feel differently. She went to a wrestling event and left frustrated with wrestling. That's not good. Again, I'm so entrenched in the wrestling culture that I'll be able to smooth things over at home and my wife will continue to give wrestling a chance, but will others? I say this time and time and again, wrestling hurts itself more than administrators, budget cuts, rules, etc. If there is an advertised start time, I think it's important (and professional) to be punctual.

Understand me on this, I'm not opposed to junior varsity competitions. In fact, I think they are as important as the varsity matches in terms of development and sustainability of a program. In the j.v. matches that I watched last night, I was inspired far more by a few individuals competing in that setting than the ones competing on the varsity team. That's not the point. Provide those opportunities AND be punctual.

This post is in no way a dig at the program that is so dear to me. If that's what is interpreted, then you're missing the point entirely. This is not the first time I've been a part of a situation like this. Dual meets, high school tournaments, youth tournaments and the like often start later than advertised. As a wrestling community, let's change. Let's be punctual. If we advertise a start time, let's start at that time. It's probably better to not publish a start time than it is to publish one and not follow it. We need to be aware that we're trying to sell our product and we're giving them a bad taste.

To put one other gripe on the table...I was extremely disappointed with the conduct of the opposing team's coaching staff. Sure, they started late, but there is absolutely no excuse for how they treated the referee and for their mat side conduct. It was disgusting. After watching those coaches yell at the referee, I'm not surprised that we have a significant shortage of referees. On the other hand, the conduct from the River Falls bench was very admirable.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

The kids are always great, but some parents are crazy!

This has been an interesting week for me. My high school practices are going extremely well and there are many athletes ready to break through to the next level. At the same time, the youth wrestling season is starting to gain momentum. Working with this age is why things get interesting. The kids are always great, but some parents are crazy!

I enjoy the parents that bring their children to Victory and I appreciate them very much. I have met some tremendous people and developed some great friendships. The parents that hang around Victory understand my coaching philosophy and are aware of my personal convictions. I don't find many unhealthy perspective in that group. Every once in a while, though, I get a phone call from a parent who just doesn't "get it."

To make a long story somewhat short, I recently had a parent call me to discuss the possibilities of his son participating at Victory. They had never been to Victory before and I'm certain I had never met them (I remember most people). The first thing he asked is if his elementary aged son can participate in our Middle School session. Without knowing who I am or what I'm about, he asked me to make an exception for him. This question always raises a red flag. Everyone always wants to be an exception to the rule. Yeah, there are exceptions to the rule. Do most people have them? No. Chances are you're not an exception. Are there exceptions? On many things, no; on some things, yes; for you, probably not. Moving on...

This particular parent mentioned that they were involved in a variety of wrestling opportunities and he explained that his son likes to be pushed. This is another red flag. I don't know the young boy, but after talking to his dad, my inclination is that he doesn't actually like to be pushed. Dad just simply insists on doing so. In fact, I'm not certain he's even asked his kid if he likes the sport of wrestling. I told him that I won't "push" his kid and I'm not in the business of making the next Kid's State Champion. He didn't respond, so I preceded to tell the father that I'm most interested in developing young athletes to have success at the next level and encouraging them to love life and enjoy the sport. His response led me to believe this was a foreign concept to him.

Our conversation lasted approximately 20 minutes and it ended with me feeling that this young boy's athletic career was based on Dad's desires rather than the kid's needs. I starting to think that Victory isn't the place for this kid. I also hoped they wouldn't make the trip here. Then my perspective changed. I think it's alright for Victory to exist to save kids from crazy parents. We have rescued a few kids from bad environments and poor athletic perspectives. We've even helped change the minds of a few parents. Maybe Victory IS the place for this kid. There is always room to help kids. Adults, on the other hand, not so much (Jesus can always help them, but I can't).

I love the potential youth sports has to help kids grow. I'm also terrified by the potential they have to destroy kids and rob them of their childhood. There are a lot of crazy, irrational adults affecting children in a negative way in youth sports, and to me, it's a battle that's worth fighting.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Turn up the heat

Water boils at 212 degrees Fahrenheit (at sea level). I am not a chemist, however, I do know that when water boils, the molecular composition remains the same while the state changes from a liquid to a gas (vapor). It is still the same H20.

A lot of energy is required to bring water from, say room temperature to its boiling point. We acquire this energy by heating the water. As the temperature climbs, the state of H20 remains the same until that singular moment - boiling. Have you ever wondered what happens to water at 211 degrees? It remains liquid.

I think of the boiling point often when I see an athlete trying to reach their goals or grasp a new concept. I turn the above science into an analogy that helps get them over the top when everything clicks. Much energy is required to raise the temperature of water from 60 or 70 degrees to 212. A lot of energy is required to bring the temperature to even 100 degrees. When we're talking about changing its state, that's a lot of energy. Just think, how many times do we see athletes (or humans trying to achieve something) give an abundance of energy to succeeding, but keep falling short? It takes a lot of energy to be great. That doesn't mean you stop short of the goal. Maybe you need to turn up the proverbial "heat."

It takes a lot of energy to reach 200 degrees, but not much more to reach 212 and it would be foolish to stop there. The point is, I see a lot of people give up on their endeavors when they're between 200 and 211 degrees. They've toiled, struggled and worked hard and too much energy has gone into the process already to give up there.

When water reaches 212 degrees, it changes it state entirely. This just might be the case with us. If we give a little more energy to accomplishing the tasks before us, our state could change entirely. Who we are never changes (our molecular structure), but we enter a new level of living. That's greatness.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Reigning champions

Following up my post on expectations, I thought it was appropriate to discuss my thoughts on a popular phrase I hear overused in the sports arena - defending champion. These words create expectations and come with a mountain of pressures that are unnecessary for athletes to carry.

To "defend" a title means that if you were to lose (a match, game, etc.) then you would lose the title. This isn't the case in the sport of wrestling. If you are a returning champion, no one can take from you the title you have already earned.

Instead of the title Defending Champion, I think it's appropriate for athletes to see themselves as Reigning Champion, Returning Champion or simply Champion. They're not defending anything.

If you were a state champion last year or previously conference, regional or sectional champion, I assure you, no one gets to take those honors from you. You need to understand this when you step on the mat. This outlook can change your entire season because it lightens the load of expectation and pressures.

On the flip side, you don't get special treatment because you have won a title in the past. It needs to be earned, just like the previous one.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

A life of expectations

I remember the day we wrestled Ellsworth my sophomore year very well. It was December 21, 1995. It was monumental for a variety of reason. If there was a day that I was “off” during my high school career, it was that night. If there was time that my winning streak was in jeopardy, it was then.

I wrestled freshman John Radabaugh. I was a sophomore. Later in his career, he would be a multiple-time state qualifier, even finishing second his senior year. The final score of our match that night was 14-11 and I had to secure a takedown late in the third period to seal the victory. It was a wild back-and-forth match up to that point. The biggest reason I was vulnerable was because I had a significant hip injury, but the injury itself wasn’t why it was close. I had given myself a back door and I was focused on what I couldn’t do rather than what I could do. It was the only time in my high school career that I “felt sorry” for myself. I got through it and it was ugly. I learned a lot, too. I understood that no one else was concerned about my injury during the match, especially my opponent. The only other person who “felt sorry” for me was my mom. From that point forward, I knew that my injuries limited me only as much as I let them. It was a mindset.

The defining moment happened after the dual meet and it’s what changed me the most. Nearly everyone asked me and my family what was wrong with me. Why didn’t I pin my opponent? Why was the match so close? Never mind that my opponent was very good. People expected things from me. I was 16 years old and that was a lot to handle. Somehow, though, I knew that I needed to accept that responsibility.

My freshman season, I rolled into the state tournament with very little expectations from others, but I left with many. I finished my freshman season 36-0 and immediately people began discussing the possibilities of four titles and being undefeated doing it. My coach put those thoughts to rest immediately. He helped me realize I needed to take each match one at a time. He helped me keep a healthy perspective. Others expected things of me, though, and that wasn’t a bad thing. I had put myself in the position of expectations. It became a responsibility that I accepted. I lived up to those expectations in a way that was unique to me and different than what most would understand.

The expectations of others raised my expectations for myself. I wasn’t competing for others. If you live your life trying to please others in this regard, eventually you will become the sum total of everyone else’s expectations on your life rather than discovering your uniqueness. My expectations far exceeded those of others. Others’ expectations were focused on success. I didn’t want to focus on fame or success and risk losing everything that matters. I was going for something bigger and it gave me the freedom to be who I was created to be. Fortunately, I guess, that produced positive outcomes. Being who I was created to be, and not what others expected me to be, was a responsibility that was worth living for and leveraging my wrestling career around. Years later I would see that it was about God’s glory, not Kevin’s glory.

That night I felt a heavy burden of expectations that weren’t realistic. I’m fortunate that it happened because it helped change my perspective of life and wrestling. I’m never going to live up to everyone’s expectations, so I’m not going to try. Besides, I don’t want my life to be a sum total of those expectations. None of us want that, right?

I have two sons and people already have expectations for their lives and possible wrestling career. I hope I can use December 21, 1995 to help steer them away from trying to live up to the expectations of others. I hope that Thursday night will help you, too.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Are you Dad or Coach?

I've been in the coaching business for a little over a decade. I'm not arrogant enough to claim that I've "seen it all," however, I've seen a number of things done by others that have caught my attention and make me do whatever I can to stay away from their mistakes. From the first time I assumed a coaching role, I knew that God created me to be involved in the lives of athletes. Additionally, I know that God has called me to be a Godly man and a father. I see these roles as "holy responsibilities" to God and I believe that my responsibilities as a father take priority over my responsibilities as a coach.

People ask me if I'm already teaching my sons how to wrestle. They ask it tongue-in-cheek, but I always take the opportunity to tell them that I want to be their dad, not their coach. Many individuals have handled both responsibilities at the same time equally well, however, I don't think I'm going to be one of those people. I want to treat my children differently than the rest. I want to single them out. I want them to get special favor from their parents. I don't want to be objective, I want to love them the way they deserve to be loved. I'm just being honest when I say that I don't think I can be both Dad and Coach to my sons. I want to be Dad.

Today, I had a parent explain to me that his son has enjoyed his time spent at Victory. The father was excited because he saw a new "spark" in his child. Then, he said that he'd been telling his son the same thing for five years and his son never grasped it. Then, one evening with me and the dad says his son thinks I hung the moon. These conversations are all too familiar and each time they make me sad. Children don't need coaches. They need dads. They don't want their father to be their coach. They want him to be Daddy.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

What do you believe?

We live in a culture that is seeking truth more than ever before. The "next generation" has more access to information than anyone and ask the question of why far more than how. This, along with a few monumental conversations, compels me to challenge others and ask if they're doing what they believe.

I think it's important to look at what a group stands for or what an organization's mission is before you commit to being a part of it. Not for the sake of the organization, but for your own. Take the time necessary to look beyond the surface to see what others stand for and what they believe before deciding to align yourself with them. Don't take things for granted or form your perceptions on what others are telling you. Find things out for yourself.

I've heard a lot of people say things like, "the Bible says...," without ever engaging in the Bible for themselves. Too often, rules are understood and enforced by people who have faith in others who read the rule book. Read the rule book yourself. Too many people commit to churches, clubs and organizations because they have a friendship with someone already involved. Be sure to read the bylaws and mission statement.

The question is very straight forward: what do you believe? Somehow, it becomes very difficult to answer, though. Individuals need to take responsibility for what they believe rather than embracing what others believe. You're responsible for your life. Be bold. Stand up for what you believe.